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Crystal Evans Books

“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie



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Sunday, October 6, 2013

Your Eulogy: WHat will people say about you?

Good Afternoon, 

I have been to many funerals and listen to a lot if Eulogies and I often wonder what mine will sound like. I want to live an illustrious life. A life that will make this humanity believe in truth that they have suffered a great lost in my passing. 

I want to change this world so much not for me but for my progeny. I want to plant trees that will shade my great grand children from the sweltering sun. 

You see many Jamaican people think it is quite justified to wish good for only your children and pray for the failure of your neighbors children. I do not see life that way. Many of us think our lives are separate entities, our experiences only affect those that are directly relating with us or that our conscious decisions do not  affect the people in this world. 

If I wish for my neighbors child to fail in school then I am inadvertently wishing for the demise of my own child. When my child becomes a doctor, she will have to build fortresses to keep my neighbors gunman "sons" from coming into her home and kill her. The more we wish good for others, the better off our future societies shall be. You definitely have not attained a higher perspective if you do not see us as one people, connected in the end in this grand scheme of things. 

I want to start a campaign where I go into schools and speak with children about the truth. Talk about the real stuff in life. Not bling, material gain or social validation, these are important too. We all want what's best but these notions are not tantamount to having a higher consciousness. When you reach this level, you find that you are more at peace within yourself and inner peace will categorically lead to peace with each other. 

In this life you do not just want to exist, you want to live. You want to have a full life. Make the best of this life because in spite of what religious leaders tell us or parapsychology concludes, we know only one life and that is the one that we are living. So we should full joy this one life and make creations for our immortality that is within our children. 

I know my grandparents but I do not know my great grandparents. It is as if they never existed. I often think about their great grandparents. I concluded that in a Likkle island like Jamaica we might as well be all connected and related by blood. 400 years of slavery amounts to about 6 generations. I often look at these trees and wonder what stories do they have to tell. My daughters great grand parents by her dads side died recently and they were born in the 1920's. I often question them and my grandparents about what life was like when they were children. 

They never for once imagined this world that we live in now. But I keep asking myself if they are responsible or was it my parents generation who changed the values and precepts that we hold as a collective conscience in our beloved Jamaica. Should we blame technology, cable TV, radio, Internet? What is the reason for our young men "preening deva" 

I was telling my grandmother earlier that crime and violence is not a one way stream . They are many people among us who are feeding these criminal networks for fear, protection or using the youths to carry out devious acts that they are too much of a coward to do themselves. 

We have friends, neighbors and people within our community who are the biggest cowards imaginable. They are the ones who are influencing and instigating these youths to criminality by putting out hits on people. I am not saying that people have never done anything to me that made me feel the only satisfaction I can get is to see them exit this world in a box. But I too have conflicts with others and do things that are not right. I am not a saint but I have grown so much since the to realize that " we all just want to be here". 

No matter what a gwaan, as sure as the sun goes down and comes back in the morning that the good and the evil payday is right around the corner. The wicked  reign but only for a time. 

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