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Crystal Evans Books

“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Real Jamaican Boss Chicks don't fight ova Man

You love a man. It's okay to fight for him but never over him. If he has someone else attention, let them have him. 





Rule #9 Boss Bitches never quarrel over man. Boss chick knows that to confront a girl about your man is to show weakness, it is a sign of insecurity. Boss Bitches know that when a man's woman calling you phone and cussing you out, it means you need to cut that man loose so he can handle his problems. Boss Bitches don't date men who would think of having relationship with some belligerent, ignorant ghetto mess. So if he's living with a ratchet, chances are he doesn't have good values to begin with and will cheat on your ass with one. Your trademark is a little above his level. 


Boss Bitches don't talk to ratchets in real life therefore we don't want any man who is going to make we and a ratchet mouth meet. Dating men who are in relationships with ratchets brings  their raucous behavior into your face, full circle. 

Boss Bitches know that ignorant ratchets automatically think you are just like them when you start pursuing their brand of men. Show them you might like his swag but you are nothing like them . She's basic bottom bitch and him dating you is a mile long upgrade. 

Don't feel bad when a ratchet cusses you out in public. She's gonna try and belittle you so she can feel better about herself. Miss ratchety wife just wants to intimidate you into not giving her some real competition. She knows your game is tight and that her wandering dick of a man might just hop off her wagon into yours. 

She cannot besmirch your character and if her man is smart she has given him all the reasons he needs to move on by cussing you out. If he sticks closer to her after your squabble it means they deserve each other and he should stay with her. 

Saturday, April 19, 2014

I was once a servant to others!



I give thanks to the people who "used" me because It is within these moments of exploitation that I am exposed to the intrinsic nature of the human capacity. We are all uniquely selfish people, we simply go about our self serving pursuits differently. We are all self seeking creature s struggling to fulfill our destinies.

The subtle lessons of selfishness and how we are all committed to achieving our egocentric goals with little regards for those we step on in the process is evident in how we are dedicated to individual success than aspiring for group progress as children in the classroom.We accuse others of egoism when they choose themselves over us. We want others to sacrifice themselves to see us succeed, It is this brand of narcissism that is creating the problems we see in the world today. 

I recall finding myself attracted to start up businesses,believing that within every new entrepreneur I met who employed me because of my drive and passion to succeed: that I could maximize my own talents. I saw in them what I wanted for myself and admired them for taking that tentative step to fulfill their dreams. I didn't particularly liked the way my dreams were tied to theirs. If they failed, I would be a failure and I would have wasted time building someone else dreams, while my goals lay sideline in the creative clutter of my mind. 

The difference between these business people and those from my streets is that while my people will sit and wait on one of us to make it in hopes that the rest will benefit, these exploiters don't ride on the dreams of others, they grab this bull of a life by its horn and pull it into submission, trampling the cow hands in the process. 

I believed more in their dreams than they did in their own ideas. I worked often without much salary, often times frustrated but hopeful that things will improve as long as I was around. These exploiters taught me to have faith irrespective of the dreary circumstances in my own abilities. I was committed to seeing it through while on the other hand my employers were more interested in getting rich. 

They could no longer afford to pay me. I would have to worked to earn my salary which means unless the company was making a profit,I would not be compensated. If my  efforts proved futile, I would have earned nothing.

I learned to work even when I was not receiving any financial compensation. I was building my dreams and therefore I found no sorrow in working without pay. I applied my faith to my own abilities, confident that it will work out in the end.I am not ashamed of once being a slave to others, it taught me how to a better person and to rise above servitude with nobility. 

I am grateful for my experiences, they have shaped who I am. And even if this sliver of a life means nothing to others, I have made myself valuable to me. 

© copyright Crystal Evans 


Friday, April 18, 2014

Jamaica Date Doctor Volume ii






When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I wrote the Jamaica Date Doctor Series Volume One. I dated men for their impressions and not for who they really were. I had my head stuck in a harlequin husband chase. I wanted anyone who looked like my ideal fantasy. 

I dated men for what they represent, I was attracted to the idea of them and irrespective of the way they made me feel, the various red flags they exhibit, I would entertain them until the pretense had run its course. 

When a woman grows up she thinks differently, she realizes that it's more important to date someone that makes you feel loved and worthy, than to waste your time with a person just for social gratification. When we are young we are mostly interested in how we will look in the eyes of others when we choose a partner. 

We choose men the very same way we choose our clothing as teenagers. Best boyfriend for the most enhanced social experience. 

Real relationships are not as easy as they appear in books or in movies. They take work. Ninety percent of men already know if they will take you on as a lifelong partner within the first five minutes of speaking with you. 


Dating is a game and the slickest person wins. Men know we want a perfect partner and some of us wants money. So they will do anything including pretending to be the perfect man or to be rich to get into our panties. 

Men don't care if you hate him after he has fucked you and ducked you because he was never working for you to like him. He does not care about your feelings because he did not care in the first place to begin with. It is no use trying to make a man love you who decided from
The first give minutes that he was going to " take a one slap outta you" and move on. 

The writings are on the wall. Men have not mastered the art of emotional pretense, therefore if it looks like the man is not that into you, he probably isn't. Men who are up to no good always give off hints in their behavior or regards, it's up to smart girls to pick up on them and know when to out their feet to the sand and run. 

They go fooling yourself by having sex with him in hopes that he will like your good coochie and stick around. A man will take whatever you have to give and still diss you on a heartbeat. Once a woman gives up the sex, she has nothing bargain with, she is down several cards, she can't deal no hand, she has to take whatever she is dealt and hope for the best. 

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Our sense of flawed morality





I often wonder about the concept
of morality and what notions would ascertain that a human being has made a moral decision. 

People use their sense of morality to make practical decisions everyday. A n individual's sense of morality will at times trump or come in conflict with that of another because in truth, morality is not an absolute concept. 


The dilemma of the Northern Caribbean University student brings our question of morality and how we often portray our morality with sanctimony as if morality is reserved for a selective breed of people often basking around in their own self appointment jurisprudence. We pretend as if we are invulnerable to bias and that the side that which we choose is not influence by our individual, personal prejudices. 

What is conceived as morally right is dependent on the outcome of the situation and the position of those who stand to benefit from the execution of moral duties and sanctions. I for one would not apply the moral currency of discontinuing the education of a young woman, when so many cannot afford it and to deem the time she spent at that school, the money wasted, the forfeit  of a degree Programme a moral decision. 

We have a penchant for adding credence and weight to silly decisions based on the socio-economic climate that we have in Jamaica. Morality cannot be encouraged through a system of reward and punishment. To choose the moral high ground is to be socialized, ingrained by way of familial training to seek the greater good because one's conscience allows it. It means to encourage behavior of empathy and thought in a human being which would render him incapable of engaging in acts that would be disadvantageous to the progress of our humanity. The decision by the university board plunges our morality concept back into the fifteenth century. 

We are humans, flawed beings, our sense of morality is tentative, susceptible to change. I find it amusing how my peers will support those who are popular insofar anything that they do while turning a blind eye to the reality of their subsistence. They never hesitate to heap coals of fire upon the heads of those they deem beneath their standard of valuation. Hypocrisy spits in the face of morality.


Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Interview Response Crystal Evans the Writer: Smash Words Distributors

Interview with Crystal Evans


Do you remember the first story you ever wrote?

Yes. I was in High School and i started writing a historical romance based on slavery. A fascinating story that i hope to complete one day.

What is your writing process?

It is largely influenced by my mood and my experiences on a day to day basis. I believe a reader can identify with a story that speaks to his every day life. He can find somebody within that story from his life to relate to.
Do you remember the first story you ever read, and the impact it had on you?
Yes i do remember my first story but the first book that i read that impacted my life was Harper Lee's " To kill a Mocking Bird". Being of Caribbean heritage and living in a post colonial society, studying caribbean history, that book spoke volumes about race and injustice in this hemisphere. The Book made me cry.

How do you approach cover design?

hahha. Am not very good at graphics. But i like art and i like deeper meanings..so i try as much as possible to promote what i have in the book on the cover as they say a picture says a thousand words.

What are your five favorite books, and why?

"To Kill a MockingBird" By Harper Lee
"Green Days by the River" By, Micheal Anthony
" The School Master" By Earl Lovelace
"The Philosophies of Marcus Garvey"
"The Voice of the Jamaican Ghetto" Adidjah Palmer aka Vybz Kartel

What do you read for pleasure?

Harlequinns, Mills and Boons, I like short Romance Novels

What is your e-reading device of choice?

Definitely a Google Nexus, Kindle or Kobo App
What book marketing techniques have been most effective for you?
Blogging.

Describe your desk?

My desk has my music, My laptop, a burning incense, my iphone, my tablet, a drink of herbal tea, a cup of water and numerous typing sheet and pencils, last but not least my favorite book.

Where did you grow up, and how did this influence your writing?

I grew up in small rural community in Westmoreland, Jamaica. We have a lot of canefields and rivers, with small moutains. I remember a few tragedies that happened in my area that forced me as a child to look at society differently. A young man i knew was shot by the police for urinating near a car. I remembered hearing how he was killed over some woman. And i guess that's the first time i thought police weren't as safe as those police men books i read at the primary school i attended. I was in my bed and the gunshots woke me up. It happened at a dead yard a few houses from where i lived.

A little boy that frequent the standpipe we went to as children to fetch water, drowned in a "two sister" river. That was very tragic because as child, it never occurred to me that children died too. I was at the age of around eight coming face to face for the first time with my own mortality. I remembered the funeral, in particular the graves, everything else is blurry but i remember the bands and my grandmother singing the protestant hymns and the church members reverie as they sent home another soul.
Life was good as child, I played ball with my sister and cousins, I went to the nieghbours yard and played "Dolly House" with the children, We had weddings and married each other with "Bulla cake and water". My childhood was fun and my grandmother provided for us. We were very happy as kids. My teenage years were tumultuous and am still getting over that phase at twenty five.

Coming from a lower socio-economic family, and Growing up in a working class community, i know a thing about humanity at its most basal level, unfiltered by exposure to education or progressive values. I know what "ghetto People" are intrinsically like because i am child of that process. I am very much affected by the way i was socialised.

When did you first start writing?


When i was about fourteen or so. I discovered i liked my imagination. I daydreamed a lot and i wanted to share my inner world with the outside world.

What's the story behind your latest book?

The Barn Raiders is actually taken from Anthony "B"s song, "Nobody want to plant the corn, everybody want to raid the barn." He is one of my favorite vintage reggae artiste. The book is basically about notions of people i grew up with and some i meet where we all want to be successful and we are only happy for the progress of others if we somehow believe we have something to gain. Your friend can become successful if you are allowed to enjoy his success through proxy. People love you until you become their competition.

What motivated you to become an indie author?

I am penniless therefore going the route of paying for a publication is expensive. But i got help, financially from alot of people i have met over the years and i am eternally grateful to them. Francesca Tisot, Ron Ricketts, Owen Salmon, Lorette Simpson, Tyrese, Livingston Brown.

But my niche is growing.

What is the greatest joy of writing for you?

Reading it over and wondering if i wrote all of that. There is something about when you right, it transcends you to a different place. And when you come out of that "place" you wonder if that person was you or somebody else?

What do your fans mean to you?

Well i love my readers. I have blog that for a small niche like Jamaican Literature i get a couple thousand visitors per month. So i am grateful to the people who keep coming back. The first book i sold, i was happy because a complete stranger wanted to take time out of their schedule to hear what i have to say, to become assimilated in the runnings of my waton imagination.
What are you working on next?

Historical Romance and The Barn Raiders

When you're not writing, how do you spend your time?

I like to party. I live in Jamaica so i love the beach, the music, the vibe and the rum.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Slackness, Ghetto and Acceptance



A member of my family unit recently decided to relocate due to the unrelenting tensions in the familial home. It was a sad indictment. I found no satisfaction in seeing her leave albeit she would have gladly gloated over my departure. That has always been the difference between the learned and the untutored. The ignorant find amusement in life lessons. I have asked God repeatedly if he sees any errors in my judgement, please reveal them to me because I am only human and to be mortal is to be flawed. 

I thought for the most part that whatever issues we had as a family could have been resolved without this drastic measure. It became clear to me that those without any iota of introspection are liable to commit the same infractions repeatedly. If you cannot look into yourself and see your mistakes then you will be unable to implement any corrective measures to your life. If you cannot see the errors in your ways then you are doomed. 

Sometimes I am embarrassed when I read the comments labelled against Ghetto people, Vybz Kartel and those from lower socio-economical stratum. But in my quiet moments often foddered by recent occurrences I realized that they may be right in some of their contemptuous diatribe.

  Poor, illiterate people are some of the most difficult people to deal with.  Irrationality is the name of their game. They like hearing their own voices than conceding an argument because of what they know is right. It's about scoring points, winning quarrels and defending warped, unsound opinions. They put up with slackness and expect everyone to tolerate their almshouse thinking. In the Ghetto when you have nothing, you have the most friends and the minute you show signs of progress even your own family becomes your arch rivals. Everybody loves you until you become their competition. 


People unwilling to reconcile differences are dangerous sociopaths, who despite the damage  their aberrant behavior engenders find no fault in their destructive behavior will create problems regardless of their location. 

Those who support wrongdoers will surely become their victims. If you fail to tell a loved one when they are wrong then rest assure that you will one day be a victim of their lopsided thinking. Those who partake of slackness will be retributed tenfolds. 

I am not in any position to condemn another human being. Those of us who came from the gutters know that from time to time a piece of us will break off and float back to the floor from whence we came.

  Wealth can gray your eyes at the edges, money does not make you hover above human qualities, you are only a flawed being with much material gain. 

There is nothing that haunts these streets like ignorance and irrationalism.  These streets carry their own rules often quaint to those who live outside the zinc fence and stench of poverty.

I cannot say adequately that I understand the fashion of these rules, I can only imagine that they serve to somewhat moderate the turbulent climate of these streets. It is not within my capacity to cast judgement, I will try my best to understand, resist from condemning but there are notions that I will never accept or condone. 





Thursday, April 3, 2014

Ten Signs the Jamaican man you dating is not as Single as he Claims he is



1. You cannot call him certain time a night.

2. You need an appointment to see him. You cannot just show up at his workplace or Home.

3. You do not know where he lives and probably have never met him anywhere where he frequents.

4. You do not know his friends or have never met any of his immeadiate family. His entire life is a mystery to you.

5. He cannot take you to sleep at his house because he lives with his parents.

6. He cannot sleep with you because he does not like to sleep elsehwere other than in his bed and he has to wake up early and get to work.

7. Never available for special holidays like christmas and valentines. Birthday's worst. He leaves the presents you buy him at your house because he cannot possible take them home.

8. Insist that you do not get pregnant despite telling you that he loves you and want to start a family with.

9. Has no problem with you having other sexual relations. He is not jealous of your new boy toy only insist that you save a slot for him. He is either not interested or is already committed.

10. He disappears for days at length. No phone call. No contact. Then reappears and spends weekend then vanishes against.

Woman Scorned: Excerpt from Book




Love is an elusive emotion. You can't help it. It just happens, unexpected, unbidden. It is like a disease, a drug additive, constant and obsessive. Our reaction to someone we like is fascinating, intricate and confusing. Our angst about love and relationship is tied to our fantasies and ideation of what being in love is and suppose to be like. 

We might not admit it but we all have a checklist in our head of what we are looking for in a partner. We want that other half that we believe completes us. It is this mode of thinking that opens a trap door for obsession and addiction to love or the idea of being in love. Love is a powerful
Drug. A lovelorn woman's lover is a drug addict looking for a next fix. The slightest comment, look or embrace triggers a state of euphoria sending doses of dopamine into the blood stream. 

This explains why it is very difficult almost unlikely for a woman crazily in love with a man to be able to resist the temptation to call him, to seek out that "cocaine like high" we all experience in a new relationship.

And like the literally drug addiction, a high is often followed by an abysmal low. The perverse magic and materiality of love is a timeless obsession since the beginning of our existence. It is this unmerited, offhand feeling that makes a simple quirk of the lips or upward tilt of the eyebrows unmistakably sensual. 

Love lends an inimitable pleasure to the deep baritone of a man's voice, a seductiveness to the power of his leg strides and a breathtaking aura to his presence. Love transforms the growls, snarls and grrrrrrr of a man's voice into the sexiest attribute. You either have it or you don't!!! 


Love transcends the simplest of gestures into something extraordinary. Eyes that once behold the world become Windows's to ones soul, limpid pools of pleasure, glances of indiscretions and light feathery touches sending tingles from skin to bone. Your entire body awakens, fluids rushing into places and sensational sounds emits from ones lips involuntarily. 

When you fall in love. You unknowingly place your happiness at the mercy of another's companionship. Those who say otherwise, have only skipped cross the raggedy terrains of love in a parachute and from the other side -beckon you to come across its steep landscape barefeet. 







Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Writing tips from Kurt Vonnegut

  1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
  2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
  3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
  4. Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action.
  5. Start as close to the end as possible.
  6. Be a Sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them-in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
  7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
  8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Jamaicans intervening in brawls before they become violent

When I was a child, a young lady was stabbed and killed before my eyes. A confrontation escalated between two teenage girls in the presence of several of their peers and none of the spectators sought to defuse the argument but were standing in amusement taking in the scene like a night at a cinema. 

Their expressions did not change until one girl repeated landed stabs to the upper torso of the other. My father ran to the girl, tore his shirt off and wrapped her wounds so as to prevent the bleeding. He placed her drooping body, weak from exsanguination on his bicycle, took her to the police station and they carried her to the hospital where she died. I thought even at my pubescent age that if one of the friends had intervened instead of treating the altercation with amused indifference then that little girl would be alive today. 

It is not only unique to our culture where people make light of others' tragedies and find malicious satisfaction in the failure of others. We have become an insensitive people quite apparent in how our children react to acts of violence in school, I am referring to a video that when viral of the stabbing death of a teenage girl at Anchovy High School.  We see it in the policeman and cabby shooting video of this week where everyone was laughing when the cabby and the police officer were tumbling on the ground like torrential lovers but everyone got angry and outraged when the officer shot at the   Cab driver in order to stunt his advances. Why didn't they intervene before the matter at hand escalated? 


Are our lives so out of sync? Are we a fatalistic people with nothing to do with our short existence that we would find happiness and fulfillment watching others fail or die? What does that say about what we are teaching our children? We have allowed cable television to brainwash us into thinking that conflicts and violence are entertainment, death in these incidents reminds us that any disagreement, no matter how small can result in serious consequences. We cannot find amusement in violence. We are not going to sit aside and allow people to kill themselves over foolishness, we must learn better conflict resolution skills. Violence is not entertainment. We must be committed to changing our reactions to fights before they escalate. We must quash a quarrel before weapons are introduced, not fuel the fire with laughter and spectatorship.