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Crystal Evans Books

“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

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Friday, January 31, 2014

Why Jamaican men love Ratchets?

I look at this pic and I am wondering who must be blamed for convincing our women that men preferred women who dressed and act like Ratchets? Men or the Media... I don't know cause women on TV don't look like this...  


I have friends and I know people who wear short revealing clothes yet I can look at them and see a certain level of classiness to them. Their clothes maybe short but their outfit does not scream ratchet. 

If a girl is interested in attracting some Waste man then no problem, she can always "skin out" in the middle of the dance and have a guy pour Heineken froth on her pubis alluding to a phallus discharging on her vagina. But we know and men know it they just don't tell us that they prefer women who are modest. 

Yes you can be a hot girl and be modest. A lot of women even fully covered are very attractive if they wear the right clothes for their body type. I don't compete with Ratchets cause you might get as low as them but you will never get their kind a dirty. Secondly I don't date men who make whores my competition, I am not and never was a skin out on the dance kind a woman. 

Men like Ratchets for one reason and that is because when them want pussy they don't have to do a lot of convincing. Do you think a girl like that can stand up to any decent man and declare that she's virtuous woman who should be treated with respect, he will no doubt allude to that picture and call her a big joke. As a matter of fact, he singled you out because he wanted a quick, non committal sex with no strings attached or expectations of a relationship. 

This male dominant culture has convinced every girl that if you don't look like hooker or like you trying to trap a man then you are worth nothing. 

I like extensions and wigs are great for a on the go lady like me but there was a time when only "GoGos" wear wigs and not just wig but coloured wig. Now you know a working lady from a stay at home Ratchet by the appearance of her hair off the bat. 

I like coloured hair it's pretty good for a dancehall setting but I don't attend sessions much unless it's a club kinda session and someone close to me is keeping that party. 

To each their own, people have a right to live their lives, the way they see fit. I have a problem though when people's lifestyle inadvertently affects mine in am adverse way. We know that men often believe all women are the same and after dating a certain type of woman, he will treat you the same way and expect similar actions from you. 

Two boys killed a Dog



I read a report in the Gleaner about several killings in Jamaica. I was infuriated and saddened by the reports of children witnessing the killing of a parent. We have become a society of heartless people. 

I don't know but I believe there was a time when children were shielded from such experiences. That is no longer the case. Facebook has taught me a lot about the way people are in the physical world. 

The Gleaner makes a report and has thousands of subscribers yet only few people with hearts make comments when these incidents occur. People generally do not care. They assume that whoever was killed must have done something to deserve it. 

It is easier for us to think people who are killed somehow deserve it. After all we would not want to believe that our little notions of security are only illusions and superstitions. We would not want to think that there are people on this world who are inherently evil and get some form of thrill from committing diabolical acts. Oh no... They must have something wrong, oh yes they must have been involved somehow for someone to think about them in such a hateful manner. To admit that there are evil people in this world is to say shatter our sense of security. 

Two little boys killed a dog last Saturday evening next door and proceeded to burn him after cutting him up. They are eight and ten years old. Their mother has several
Children and in modern terms is homeless. Their step father beats their mother regular and she has no idea who their father is. These little boy went to someone's yard and killed a dog. 

It's quite ominous when you think about it and I hope these boys are planning to become surgeons and not murderers. Based on their background and emotional abuse that they have been through, I doubt they will not turn to a life of crime. 

I wonder about their mother who has seven children and she's barely thirty. She has another two sons and a baby boy. She's raising five very dangerous young men. I don't mean to be prejudicial, I often harp on people for not giving Ghetto People the benefit of the doubt but in many cases, things are exactly as they seem. 

Thursday, January 30, 2014

I dreamt heaven

I think I dreamt heaven. I went to this place in my mind while I slept that I have never been to before. It's nothing i have ever experienced. It was picturesque like Disney land but a million times more surreal. 



Heaven had the biggest moon I've ever seen. It's like a big round moon with light as bright as the sun. Trees in heaven looked like marshmallows on branches. Clouds glisten and the sun rays were like silver streaks across the baby blue sky.  Everything was so bright. I saw every minute detail of the pollens on the Grass. The wind was gentle, atmosphere cool and breeze barely palpable. It is a world that I am between.  I was staring at Heaven from Earth. 

I looked for Him and he wasn't there. I was in a tree I think and on the other side I saw like black clouds and red fire, an old cow boy with a mansion looking very filthy and I could have sworn I saw him there. Hell looked much like earth but worst. Heaven looked like Disney land, light, happy, cheery, like ether. I didn't realise I dreamt heaven until just now talking to you.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Hold on Jamaican Bloggers, Change Gwine come

A Jamaican blogger contacted me last night about her sudden disillusion with her Jamaican people. She was ready to shut down her blog and cash in. She would migrate with her children and never set back a foot on these disenchanted shores of a people who in her estimation want nothing short of things remaining just the way that they are. I understood what she meant, in a country like this you can die for your right and still die for no reason. People might be upset but no one dare publicly decry injustice for fear that they might disappear too. 


I told her I realise something critical about Jamaicans, we don't argue to sieve through clutter of perspectives to find the truth, when we have a discussion about economy or society people turn the forum into a personal debate about whether or not the person is credible enough to give references and attempt to undermine and insult the speaker. 

Some people are not truth seekers don't expect good things from people with dirty minds. I know a lady on a particular blog who comments everyday simply to insult the publisher and infuriate his followers.  I've learned one thing from people like her, they don't care about Jamaica, she cares about her opinions and her rated night. She couldn't give a damn about what happens to Jamaica on a collective basis. You don't have to agree with what is being said, but you can provide alternative arguments that points to greater truths. Your dissension should not be a means to insult and undermine. It's people like them who contribute to the continued decay in our society. 

I said something to my colleague blogger that got her thinking. I told her don't be dismayed, not because people do not comment it does not mean that they don't read. They see it but refuse to acknowledge it hoping to create the exact results you talking about now. They want you to pack up and leave. 

I experience it daily on Facebook, I've had over a million visitors to my blogs here and elsewhere and people rarely comment but they keep coming back. It means people will view but they won't comment. I get that on Facebook a lot. It points to a higher truth about the work that needs to be done in Jamaica. The biggest problem we have in Jamaica is not corrupt politicians, miscreant police or criminal elements our biggest issue is our people and how they disregard their collective reality, most feel impotent to change anything and a vast majority don't care until them baxide left out a door. The biggest stymie to progress in the Jamaican society has always been their minds. They either think too little or don't think at all. Most cannot see past their next feeding or money. We celebrate money and material accumulations over justice and morality. We are the most narrow minded and short sighted people who want others to pave the way for us and won't ever attempt to implement change on our own. We condemn our own society. We are responsible for the corruption that we have bred by the way we socialized our children to view life on dollars and cents and not by its inherent values. 


If you want a society to decay very quickly put Jamaicans there to comprise of its majority. The people in this country condemn them own selves. They have caused injustices whether by badman or police to endure because they have conceded to stand by and do nothing about it until it darkens their doorsteps. 

Have you ever complained about some defect in the Jamaican system and some stranger or passerby opined " a so it go mi dear, things nah go get any better". They have consigned themselves to this way of life. 
My grandmother and I were at a family members wake. The police came there, strode in on a air of authority, guns pointing in faces as always, I don't know why I think the police have something against my community or for that matter my family. They often give me that impression. 

I proceeded to find out what the police wanted because I had written the permit and it was stamped by the superintendent of police. My mother and my child's father quickly became angry and pleading to me not to get involved in police business. My family members and relatives are afraid of the police since Gussy was killed by them. 

That is one of the biggest indices of problems we have in Jamaica and is that people out of fear will give away their rights. Two the average Jamaican  will not fear the badman but is now afraid of the police. Three the citizen will tolerate the bad man but will fear or challenge the police. 

A change is coming for Jamaica she should hold on. We see the judiciary system working with the Vybz Kartel
Case, we see the newspaper doing some real reporting and we see politicians like Raymond Pryce clamouring for
The legalisation of Ganja. A change Gwine come...


Monday, January 27, 2014

Comin from where am from

Comin from where am from 


Badmind is a treacherous emotion because the very thing  the hater dislikes you for is the same commodity or convenience he wants for himself. The hater initially wished you success because he believes you will never achieve much. It's like your nieghbour who demonstrates happiness for you because you building a house, then withdraws from you because your house is now bigger than his or your car is more expensive than his. Your neighbor initially wishes you success because he believes that you will never surpass his level... He prefers your success to be beneath him. Successful but not as successful as him 


From the Article -preface 

Copyright©Crystal Evans

#coming from where am from" 


I always heard voices in my head. They often sounded like mine but more mature, sometimes inspiring,other times angry and many times profoundly deep. These voices started when I was about three years old. 
It carried me throughout my life, through the emotional torrents of my teenage years and my first initial torrential
Relationships that all but add the finishing touches to what I have evolved into today. I've learnt so much in my short existence about people. These lessons have changed my voice. 

I think it was after those relationships that my voice morphed into the one that I have now. Originally I wanted to change men and empower women now I believe I have a greater calling. 

It may seem that with every new experience in this life journey I am force to discover a new perspective on our existence. 

My route is not a straight road, it branches off into crevices and detours that I never expected. I sometimes climb mountains, traverse valleys and veer into menacing plains. 

I like music yet sometimes the music despite its  euphonious and melodious tones sounds like dissonant and cantankerous to my angry mind. 

I sometimes think my spirit is trapped in the wrong body. I hate the involuntary nature of my body to change without my consent. I often feel powerless to stop it. 

I write to become characters that I am not. I write to explore feelings that are apart of my personality. I explore the ghetto girl in me and the intellect that is in constant conflict with the offsprings of my socialization process. It's like a battle between environmental influences and my intellectuality. This war has been going on since high school when what I learnt at school was in direct conflict with the notions endorsed at home and affirmed in my community. 

I have a similar battle now. I wrestle with the part of me that is attached to my lower class upbringing and the side of me that tells me even though I was spawned from this that I don't belong here. 

I sometimes wonder if the Ghetto was always like this and in my teenage oblivion I failed to see the world for what it is. This type of world will break a child's dream. 

There is little depth or circumference. Where I am. Philosophies are formed from afar view of the horizon and opinions are ruled in as facts. Feelings govern utterances and ideologies. 

Where I am from
badmind will
Kill you faster than any other social element. People choose your battles for you and you create enemies without knowing it. Your neighbors wish you success only because they believe that you will never reach their level. If you reach that and surpass then then your neighborly friends becomes your Enemy and that is why bad mind is the most treacherous emotion in the Ghetto. Bad-mind people hate you for the very things that they want for themselves . They believe your success is an indictment of their inadequacies and inferiority. They don't bother to think that you must have worked hard and made sacrifices to get there. In the Ghetto everybody wants to rule the world but no one wants to do the work. 

Success in the Ghetto is synchronic with impending policial run ins. After all, every new money must be accounted for. Acting wealthy without any tangible or noticeable employment is a precursor to bigger problems in the Ghetto. Everyone comes teeming out of the woodworks looking for dues. 

Bad emotions bad for your health

  1. Jealousy - causes oncological diseases, weakens the immune system.
  2. Vengefulness - causes insomnia and throat diseases.
  3. Inability to find a solution to a situation - causes lung diseases.
  4. Lacking moral principals - causes chronic diseases, infections, and skin diseases.
  5. Being too categorical or unwavering in beliefs - causes diabetes, migraines, and inflammations.
  6. Lying - causes alcoholism, fungal infections, and weakens the immune system.
  7. Aggressiveness - causes gastric ulcers, acid reflux, and warts.
  8. Reticence - causes schizophrenia and kidney diseases.
  9. Cruelty - causes epilepsy, asthma, and anemia.
  10. Seeking conflicts - causes thyroid enlargement.
  11. Apathy - causes diabetes.
  12. Inconsistency or being fickle - causes infertility.
  13. Being rude or insulting - causes diabetes and heart diseases.
  14. Anxiety - causes digestive system disorders, heart, and skin diseases.
  15. Greed - causes oncological diseases, obesity, and heart diseases.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Jamaicans buy and flip domain names as investment


Domain Name value is contingent on several factors including traffic, advertising costs, the age of the domain, the brevity of the name, comparable sale, lucrativity of it market and overall industry interest. 


I appropriated JamaicaMedicalMarijuana.com because I believe the world wants to endorse cannabis  as the holy grail of modern medicine. It is evident in my attempt to search for other domains like Ganja.com, Weed.com and others like JamaicaGanja.com along with many other domain extensions are already appropriated. Though the websites are not uploaded, it is evident the Internet investors are sitting on a domain they bought for 0.99 to 14.99 a year knowing in about two years or less, the domain might worth thousands of US dollars if not millions. Look at Facebook.com, it's worth an estimated 58 billion US dollars. 

Investing in a domain name or website flipping is similar to buying Real Estate. If you have a great domain idea, it is best to secure it now. You can sell it back later to an investor with a great idea but want a type in traffic domain with a special kind of keyword that your domain has. 

A domain name has no property tax, no insurance and no tax. You only will have renew it each year for 9.99.
A premium domain can be bought and held indefinitely without any day to day updating. A park domain can also generate income, a domain like JamaicaMedicalMarijuana.com is a digital asset with a continued stream of income even when parked.

Internet investment is the future of renewable income without any involvement. It would pay most young Jamaicans if they could get involved in this business. It is easier than buying a car that won't worth anything in a few years. Have a great idea for exporting a good. Why not create a website and outsource your shipping. 


Jamaica.com is a premium domain, so too is JamaicaHotels or Jamaicavacations. Here is a a snap shop of what premium domain names were bought by wealthy investors and conglomerates who understand the worth of advertising and value of a domain. 
Fb.com was bought by Facebook Inc for 8.5 million dollars. Just imagine if you can create an abbreviation of another established website then you can sell that website your brevity name for millions. No website wants a competition with a corresponding name. They would rather buy you out. Facebook current redirects the FB.com to Facebook.com. I bet a Facebook has big plans for this domain and some lucky Internet Schumacher made 8.5 million off Zuckerberg. 


See the market is big for making money. 

These are just domains. These are just the address on the Internet.An actual website is not attached to the Domain yet. 

VacationRentals.com was sold for 35 million USD. 
Private Jet.com sold for 30.18 million 
Porn.com for 9.5 million 
Diamond.com sold for 7.4 million 
Sex.com was sold for 14 million dollars in 2006. 
Business.com for 7.5 million 
Toys.com purchased by Toys r us for 5.1 million dollars. We are talking Us Dollars here. 
Insure.com was sold for 16 million US dollars. 

You can also become a website agent. Selling websites for other people just as you would sell real Estate. You get ten percent of the sales price as commission. 


Look at these potential domain for sales 




Wednesday, January 22, 2014

I preach love : I don't incite violence

I don't write to incite violence, I write to teach love. I believe love can change the world. I once read an article about a tribe in Africa where when someone does something aberrant for the first time, he is not ostracized, but they hold a community meeting and sing a song for him. In an attempt to reestablish his identity, the community shows him love. He is of course reprimanded but given an equal opportunity for remorse. It does not matter how far gone you are in wrong doing, there is still hope for change. 

You can change your destiny now. It is not too late for you to become someone else and return back to your roots. I often ask god to never put me in a position where I will have to resort to doing something unlawful or hateful so that I can put food on my table. We all have desperate times and it's not like we have not thought about it. 

We have but we know or rather I know the price of my freedom is not worth any Jail time. 

I hate seeing mothers who struggle to make ends meet having to bury the child that they worked so hard to bring to fruition. I tell young boys now that they should never ever put themselves in a position to make their mothers suffer any pain or regret. There is no fairness in that. It would have been better if that child was not born. 

Our mothers are the agents of social change. Spend time with your children especially your boys and teach them about the value of life not the price. We have a world of young men believing life is all about how much money they can get and no regards for the value of other people's life. 

Fathers please stay with these children. Do not leave a young mother abandoned so that she can become bitter and inculcate negative vibe into her kids sometimes unknowingly. Children internalize these feelings of worthlessness when one parent harps on the desertion of another all day long. 

We complain about the rogue cops and bad men that we have in Jamaica forgetting that we created them. We create the society that we have. We taught our children wrong. 

How do I know this? I don't know any family with a good mother and a morally upstanding father that have any boy pickney that gives them trouble. So I know more than anything that the family is the root of our problems. 

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

The Pen is mightier than the sword


Who do I write? 


I write mostly because I can only have a conversation with me. I feel as if I am largely misunderstood. I feel like I live in a world where the intellectual is treated with disdain.I often feel alone and depressed. And ironically it is within these moments that I write my most compelling articles or stories.




The Pen is mightier than the sword

The pen can get you killed! 

True!  

Every  writer knows that if he seeks to expose truths he puts his life on the line. No one wants to die for a people who don't even care about the battles that you fight for them. 
Yesterday was  Martin Luther King day and most people do not know that the Government of the United States was found guilty for the murder of a man who wanted peace. Peace, equal rights and justice. Martin Luther King's Assassination was not only wrong and unlawful, it was inhumane. Sometimes I wonder how some people think the way they do. How can you kill a man who just wants to be treated like a human being? He wanted equal opportunity. You would rather see him die than give it to him. I believe Presidebt Richard Nixon when he said that Human beings were inherently evil until proven otherwise. 

Martin Luther King is a true testament of what happens to a negro when he becomes educated, when he questions the world for himself. His story exposes the betrayal of
His own people who felt small because he was trying to fight a battle for them that they were too much of a coward to fight for themselves and he died for it so that African Americans would be free. 

I never write to incite. I merely seek to inspire change. Love is the antidote for most of the problems that we have in this world. Selfishness and narcissism have stymied our progress. The human race claim that they are at the head of the food chain but behave as if they are lower than animals sometimes. 

It's like some people who claim how intelligent they are but are largely cynical. They can't see past themselves and the way their brains work. Being smart is not an opportunity to treat others with contempt. It is a gift to lead others, to teach, to inspire. 

Ok now y'all know what is wrong with this generation... Martin Luther King died so nicki MInaj could be on mtv or travel around America without being lynched and so her ass could go to public school alongside white kids. Martin Luther King went to jail so her ass could have a shot of college... Nicki only teaching them to be🎻🎻🎻🎵🎵🎵... 

People know the price of everything and the value of nothing



Where are the Jamaican Sentimentalist? 

I established in my post at thejamaicaninspirator.com  that Jamaicans like most contemporary individuals I know can add a price to everything but a value to nothing. 

Let's alternate and expound on that perspective. 

Taxi Drivers in Jamaica are some of the most callous individuals. You rarely find a taxi driver that one could  consider cool in rural Jamaica. I saw a taxi driver recently "cussed" out an elderly lady who could barely walk with her cane because she was short on cash for her fare. The same driver was reluctant to take her to her gate in the torrential downpour. I went into my purse and asked the driver how much it would cost to take her there and paid it. 

I knew I had strikes a chord with him. He kept looking at me through his rear view mirror and I stared through the passenger back seat window as the rain pelted on the glass. People no longer believed in random acts of kindness. That old lady could have been my grandmother for chrissakes and would not want her to be standing in the pouring rain. 

It is not that we are not sentimental. We have lost empathy. This notion of raising children to only consider themselves and think that they are better than people has a created a culture of young people who are cynical and unfeeling. 

We have raised our children to be self seeking and self serving. We encourage them to think that the accumulation of money is the route to happiness and every other notion is not a worthy value or aspiration. 

Why do we suppose crime and scamming is so widespread in Jamaica? 

We have a society of young people who were socialized to seek wealth above all else and to believe that everyone outside of family is an obstacle to their success. We have raised a society of adults who are largely distrustful of each other and narcissistic. 

I like old people. I admire their experience. I often wish I could experience what they witness before I was born. I often wonder what their world was like when they were my age. 

I learn a lot from them too. Both my grandmothers don't talk about what they regret doing but express remorse over the several things they should of done with their life and didn't do our of fear or foolish advice. They try to encourage me not to make those mistakes and I listen because I have not seen or experience what they have. It's a somewhat different world but I get the impression that the struggle is particularly similar. 

Why? 

Because young women making the same mistakes their mothers and grandmothers did. Young men dying before they are thirty like their fathers. The more times change, the more things remain the same. 

I believe good people are in the majority but they appear like scarce resources because evil
People have a way of overwhelming others with their viciousness. People think being wicked is something to brag about. I keep wondering where the hell did that come from? 

When did we become so cynical about life? My grandmother complains that I don't come to church. Not because I don't love god but because I don't particularly like being around the people representing god. I believe what they are purporting about God is merely painting god as a persona with human qualities. They think god is like them. They use this hell notion to gloat and wish ill will on those that they think fall short of the glory of their god. 

I was observing a little girl recently who went to church every Sunday and wondered what the pastor was teaching at that church. Her behavior is anything but Godly. If that's what they are teaching at church,my kid ain't going to Sunday school anytime soon. 

I have nothing against Christianity. I particularly like the tenets of Christianity. I believe Christian values are human values. If we were more loving and peaceful people we would have better communities, nations and a better world. 

Where is the respect, love and appreciation. People don't show gratitude anymore. We are not thankful for acts of kindness or loving gestures. We are just glad this was done and it did not cost us any anything. 

We treat the sentimentalist with disdain. We hate those who show up the selfishness in us that we try to hide beneath a mask of "articalness". We need to get back to being one big family. We should not only come together and pool money for the Bobsled team to go to Sochi but to build a proper forensic modern lab so we can effectively fight crime or give back to our alumni schools that helped shaped the adults that we are today. 

Monday, January 20, 2014

Jamaica Arts and Craft Site

What My research unearthed for this planter family. 

In the North Chapel on a plain tablet on the North Wall. Thomas Storer. 21 July
1793 at his house Golden square in the parish of westmoreland Jamaica. 



The Storers of Purely Park 

Ann Catherine Storer wife of Anthonh Gilbert Storer. Born 1785 to 1854 daughter of Thomas Hill of Shropsshire. Claimant for estates in Westmoreland as received by her late husbands. 
Her mother died when she was eleven and her dad is thomas hill shrosphire. 

Married Anthony Gilbert Storer who owned many estates in westmoreland around 18/01/1806 and was born in 1746. 

Son of Thomas Storer. Esq of devonshirest & purely,Berks 
Who was bred at Eaton and Cambridge. Secretary of legation at Paris. Lived much with lord North
 Upon his father death he gave books to Eton college, where he was schooled 1760-1764. He then went to Corpus Christi college Cambridge. He sat as mp for Carlisle in 1774-1780. 
 
Ann Storer had eight children, two of whom died. When her husband died he left the estate in debt and Charles Armstrong and Evelyn Bazalgette appropriated it through legal wranglings. 

She was last living at age 65 with her son in law Hartford westmoreland. She died 07/04/1854

Tombstone.
On the west wall of the Nave to the north of the tower arch is a monument finely sculptured in low relief. To the left are represent the widow, one son and four daughters facing an urn. Of which is carved the head of the deceased  and on the pedestial of which is an inscription. To the right of Angels. 

Sacred to the Memory of Gilbert Storer Esq. of purely park,in the county of Berks and of Belle Isle and Frome in Westmoreland , island of Jamaica. 

He was member of the Assembly of Westmoreland. 
Died at New Providence 13th June 1818. Lied buried in a mausoleum erected on the estate of Belle Isle. By his widow Ann Storer. 


According to the Jamaicanfamilysearch.com 
Almanac 1818 
Anthony Gilbert Storer, Belle Isle owned 238/190 acres of land. 
Frome 230/164, fontabelle 297/340, Haddo 301/312 
Purely 21/5 
Ormiston 62/75



I want to show others what Jamaica has to offer... 

Here are snap shots of Mausoleum dedicated to the remains of a planter Family in Grange Hill Westmoreland 


This is the tombstone. I can only make out names such as Anthony, Elizabeth, Ann and Gilbert. The Mausoleum is in need of structural repair and the heritage arm of Jamaica should take it into consideration. I surmise it's probably because it is on private property. 

I hope to do some more research and find out why this family abandoned this land and because the owners were not there, I could not find out how their family came in possession of the land and if they are descendants of those buried entomb in the mausoleum. 


There are lot of unsung Heritage sites in Jamaica that don't get a lot of attention or visits from tourist. 








Sunday, January 19, 2014

Wicked people

Wicked people believe that only them can be cruel. Most times they project an aura of invincibility and immortality. Them big bad and brave and nobody caan bottom them. My granny always say " it is only a matter of time. You should never haste life. Time is the master. 

Wicked people look for every notion or behaviour in you that is reflective of cruelty because they know all too well what they are capable of. They will find unique and far fetch ways to make your faith as deserving as theirs. They mistake humility for weakness and kindness for ingratiation. 

Wicked people are small minded. They see the world in a simple cause and effect point of view. They lack introspection and refuse to see past their myopic mindset. Wicked people believe that they must raise their children with granite hearts do as to deal with a harsh world, forgetting that they contribute to the per scion of diabolical notions by being unkind to their nieghbours, unprovoked and unincited. 


Wicked people karma is just around the corner. They believe because no one confronts them regarding their nefarity, that it means that people are completely unaware of their true personality. 

Wicked people are pretenders whose real personalities explode like a dynamite in real situations. They sometimes cannot help their fatalistic view of the world. They are sadist that only understand pain as an emotion. They feel pain and offense at every gesture and only know how to inflict pain. 


They say that you must overcome evil with good because what a man does to you is his karma and your reaction is yours. Evil does not go away until it teaches you what you need to know. Then and only then will it make itself less available. 

Jamaica: a state of wicked people

I saw a comment in reply to a Gleaner Headline on Sunday January 19,2014 that screamed " Death Squads" in the police force. I saw the first comment someone made on Facebook was that Jamaica is a state of wicked people. Civilians are as nefarious and irreligious as the members of the police force. He hopes a natural disaster will hit Jamaica soon and quote and quote "kill off everybody down there". 

He was asking for an ethic cleansing of Jamaica. This commentator was by all means frustrated with the state of affairs. If a news report claims that police officers are wearing mask and arbitrarily carrying out hits on alleged Gun men then it signals that no one is safe. I bet the Gleaner did not expect the responses that they got. People are scared out of their wits. Who would not be? You don't know who to trust in these times? You do not know
If the mask man is a criminal or a law man. I wonder if this article was created to undermine the police in the eyes of the citizen. The telationship
Between citizen and police has deteriorated over the years. An article like that of the Gleaner Headlines just drove the nail into the coffin. 

Sometimes when I write articles about where I am from, my intellectual friends accuse me of being a "criminal
Sympathiser". They often tell me that I need to leave that area where I  am constantly exposed to the "elements". I sometimes wonder if by being born in the Ghetto, if it is a privilege or a great misfortune. My reality has taught me that life is not about black and white but grayscale area. 

My friends are quick to call me out on some of my perspectives yet no one believes that the police officer who masquerades like a criminal will be considered as such by onlookers. I guess one opinions are often shaded by favoritism or preconceived notion. Everybody after all uses their "discretion"whenever possible. 

Sometimes I wonder if these arguments such as "come from among them" should be translated as leave there or you too will be mistaken for a criminal. 

Just imagine a man pointing a gun into your face as you walk
By with your two
Year old child, acting like a marauding gun man in a uniform and bellowing quite callously as the wide eye innocent toddler state at him
In utter confusion "mi left mi heart a mi yard... Who dead dead already and we have nuff more to kill".  Does this sound like someone who should he upholding the law? 

If I was told to choose the better of two evils, I would choose the state. They are the first people we think about when things go wrong. The average Jamaican does not hate the Police Force, they are merely uncomfortable when they cannot decipher a cop from a badman. Any child would be upset if someone consistently confused them, we get upset if the person we are in a relationship with cannot make up then mind. Are you on my team or hers? Same thing for the cop... Whose team are you really on? The bad guys team or the citizens team...Rogue cops give good police officers a bad name. 

Which team is the citizen on? This is not a one sided issue. Are we working with the police or tolerating the criminals? 

What I want more than anything is to be a me to tell my child that this is a police man! You can trust him! If anything goes wrong in your life and I am not around, they are the first people that you can call upon. And if for any reason, you are afraid or uncomfortable with information that you know then you can bring it to the police man. I want my child to know the difference between a crook and a cop. Cops don't even know this that criminals who they are in cahoots with often come a road come boast bout it..."which and which police dem have lock or have secret for"...it's not like they protect the reputation of the officers who might grant them Favours. They use their association as a form of social
Importance and gratification among their peers. Now which peer would be so brave as to inform on a crook who have so much police "lock". Just imagine that the alleged badmind would hear back by a morning. 

Jamaicans are not all wicked. We just have too much wicked people pretending to be good. We need a clear delineation of who is good and righteous and who is debauch and diabolical. We don't want no confusion in the system. 


People call my blogs controversial. I don't see controversy in standing up for what is right. It's a perspective of course. Whose Team am I on? The good people team. The good guys, the passionate teacher, the devoted minister of religion, the kind, lawful civilians and the brave, upstanding police officer. 


I am not just about values. I am about human values. I am on the side of humanity. I am on the good people Team. Don't ever ask me to choose sides again. My world ain't black and white. It's gray, sometimes blue  and other times red. Right now earth a run red...


Friday, January 17, 2014

Find your purpose...

“To educate a man in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.”
Teddy Roosevelt

“Tolerance is the virtue of a man without convictions.”
G. K. Chesterton

I am not a critic. I only point out faults never to put down but to encourage change and improvement. Even if that is not achieved. I will show you love and appreciation because our individual uniqueness is what makes the world so interesting and exciting. 

I never take credit for improving people , I am happy and humbled  that they choose to see life through my eyes. I don't brag about my perspectives because I am not perfect. I too have areas of faults and need improving. 

I have tried to be perfect: many a times i come up short. My efforts are never without error and shortcoming; but as Teddy Roosevelt claim " he who strives to do the deed; who knows the great devotion; who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails while daring greatly, knows that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls, who know neither victory nor defeat.”

Life is a sculptor. It twists, turns and molds me into an art form. Life opens up to me like a back door to an unknown world like in video games. It is within these hours of despair that I discover, how meaningless my life is. I merely strive to give it purpose. 

I want to live more than anything but the truth is none of us get out of this life alive. Death will bring an end to this end to this dance sooner than we think. In the blink of an eye, split second swoosh of a racing car or explosive sounds that follows the roll and click of a barrel. It can all end so swiftly, involuntary change,

We are committed to our convictions never giving a thought to where our beliefs came from. We just like how they represent us or what representation they make of us. I see people as caricatures. They don't realize that they are playing a role. They fit into whatever is expected of them even if they don't like it. They do it because the consent of the tribe is tantamount to one's individual's satisfaction. We end up, a vast majority of us, leading miserable lives. 

Older folks tell me they don't regret the risk that they took in life. The often regret those they did not take our of fear. FEAR means Face Everything And Rise not Forget Everything And Run. My grand mother could have bought several
Properties but was afraid to go "live inna bush". The "bush" is one of the most prominent communities today.

To be continued...



Don't scorn the dreamer





Whatever you are good at be proud of it. You are preordained by destiny or by God to be somebody that stands out. 


That's right. You are chosen from birth by nature of your innate capabilities to be someone great. Just by virtue of being born with the ability to draw,

Sing, write, run, do

Math and give public speeches, it means that you should never hide who you really are. Nature claimed you as the masterpiece of its creation, never hide your remarkable capabilities because you might make others fade in comparison. 


Everyone has their time to shine just like the moon has the night time and the sun dominates the day. And those small stars that only twinkle like diamonds across a velvet black sky are still as big and powerful as our own sun in their own galaxies. 


Do not allow anyone to make you feel ashamed of the way you are born. We don't have a choice in the way we come into this world and few of us are given a choice in how we leave. 


I read a book that once said that "God does not cast pearl before swines. God will never make you into who you are if he somehow felt you would be incapable of managing your special talent. 


Don't hide your talents.Even if it is one talent. Don't be like the guy who hid his one talent in the bible and lose it. I see singers discovering that they are actresses, and then they become writers,producers, inspirational speakers and directors. You go out with your one talent, work on it and you might come back with five other crimes. 


Some people find it rather difficult to believe that this world that we live in is demanding new ideas,  new leaders, inventors, innovators, entreprenuers and people with great ideas. Facebook was once an idea so too was this IPhone. 


One must have a purpose. A will to succeed, a burning desire to see ones dream  become a success. If you can dream it, nature, the universe or your god will assist you in making it a reality. 


It does not matter if you are from the gutter, the leaders of this world are largely people of unborn opportunities. These people have created our civilization. Now do your part in advancing the welfare of this human race. 



Don't ever scorn the Dreamer. 



Http://jamaicayouthempowerment.info/

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

What does Justice mean to black people?


Hating someone is quite easy  because hatred does not require a great deal of thinking. No truly intelligent person will loathe someone on the grounds of it feeling right to hate....


#Crystal Evans Jamaica 





I was reading an article in the Atlanta Black star online feature illustrating twelves pictures of lynched Negroes. They even had one with Negroes on postcards. I saw families gathered together, children dressed up to witness the burning of a Negro at the stake. 

I wondered which parent or what kind of society believe this was ok to treat a other human being like this and have their children witness it. It was the law but it was not right. There is a greater law that governs us all. The law of cause and effect. We are bounded by the strands of this universe to be retributed by sheer tantric nature of this life for every  drop of innocent blood shed returning earth to its karmic balance. 

Some negroes that died may have deserve it but slavery does terrible things to a man's sense of right or wrong. We cannot expect human behaviour from people living in inhumane conditions. 

Just imagine if some negroes decide it would be ok to lynch and burn whites for the distress they put their black ancestors through. Even so no one has been held accountable for what happened to Africa because of slavery and black people were never given any justice. No white person has been arrested for enslaving a human being or for using degrading references about another persons race. 

Blacks were subjected to indignities  and further injustice up until a few decades ago and even so racism still exist in pockets around the world. I don't know which white man could convince me of how " learned and intelligent" he is because he asserts that I am inferior by virtue of the way I look. My appearance, my race, I have no control over. We don't choose to be black. It's sheer ignoramus for a man to label my brother by virtue of his phenotype that he is doomed to a life of crime and early death. If you teach a child to be pessimistic about his existence, how can you expect anything positive from him. He's been inculcated to believe that nothing good is expected of him. Imagine how a black man with money is automatically labelled as being involved in something illegal...where I  from no one questions a white man's wealth but a black man... Whole different story...

I know slavery crippled the black spirit. It is the ghost of the slave that is in our genes that makes us tolerate injustices and will quickly deem our brother a criminal than stand up for him. We have been proselytized to believe that nothing good comes out of being black. Therefore all black men are from birth on their way to Jails and the morgues instead of the Universities. 

This brainwash is what makes Jamaicans  abroad think they are better than "Yardies" because they live and work beside the white man. It is what makes the Jamaican thinks he is superior to the African because he lives closer to western civilization, the same civilization that was built on the blood of his ancestors. The Black America who believes himself better than his island black brothers or the European Negro who believes himself superior to all other blacks because he lives in a white man country. The closer you are to anything black, the lower the perspective is towards your situation, the closer you are to white people, the better and safer you feel. I once heard a Jamaican Farm worker claim that he wants to live beside "bare white people". Said he was Tyad of black people and their issues.  


It was earlier this night, I saw a Jamaican living in Wisconsin wrote in a response to the killing of 250 civilians by the police last year. She said that we should all suck it up and tell our families to stop doing crime. I quickly wondered if she somehow thought a "bay criminal live down here". She maybe right. They say Jamaica is a haven for criminals. So she must be referring to the crime network involving police, politics, businessmen and women, scammers etc. For some reason I know she's not talking about the criminals in high places. 

I realize controversial police killings  in the United States often involve black males from the Hood. It is a universal belief that all black males are potential criminals and should be shot on sight. I bet Ms Wisconcin would be more sympathetic to the fatalities if perhaps they were high brown or white complexion. That's just my opinion.


 Just imagine dark skin police officers shooting 250 white people. As I said, purely utopic. I don't think for a minute that any white guy would be shot on sight don't care how much him name a call upon gun... Just my opinion in my creole language. 

What is right is not hard to dismiss. We have come too far as a race to be sliding back into regression. Almost every nation run by a black man is in shambles economically. What does that say about us as a people? Look at the first black republic, Haiti, poorest country in this hemisphere. South Africa is the fastest growing economy because it is rumored control by European descendants and black Africans are not allowed too much free "rein". It appears everything black people put their hands on goes to ruin. 


But we are a race of leaders and forerunners. We spend too much time on Slavery and not sufficient time on the accomplishments of the carthinagians, Kemets and Nubian civilizations. Our story did not begin, end nor is it centered arounf slavery 
To be continued ...





Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Kartel going to Jail

Kartel if you do the crime you must do the time...you queens counsel lawyer, Tavares and matlock cAan save you. No damning evidence presented though but if you are prosecuted, it will be on reasonable doubt... Circumstantial evidence points to you. Can't believe Kartel knowing how precarious and fragile his position is in this society. Renown for turning my generation into deviants...would put himself in a position to be seen as a liability...make himself dispensable. He probably assumed he was above the law. 


News flash teacher... No one is above the law in Jamaica. Probably that X5 guy who killed Kahjeel Mai's is but not the World Boss. 


I am wondering where are the guns that the prosecution claim Clive Lizard Williams was murdered for? That part of the story is still very much a mystery.A big one too. 



I always knew Kartel would get this big. He was all the rave during high school. When I hear my alumni saying Kartel should do time you must know because his ardent supporters would never diss the world boss ever. 



When you high profile in Jamaica, worst if you from a certain background and you a endorse errant or criminal lifestyle, you are not contributing to the improvement of this society. You will be removed by any means necessary. 


Sometimes I wonder what makes almost every Jamaican young man believe that if he is not endorsing badmanism  and errant culture then he is not respected by his peer? 


The story is twofold. The Likkle badman thinks his lifestyle is illegal but somehow legitimate because he has his cheerleaders. He has a whole host of people who inspire him by sensationalizing and glorifying his illicit deeds. 



Little boys would not want to become gangsters if we did not have artiste advocating gangsterism, movies idolizing James Bond and video games that help boys simulate gun slinging culture. 


We have a created a culture where guns are the emblems of power and people value money more than morals. It didn't happen overtime, it happened gradual, insidious until it culminates into what we have here. 


Sometimes I mused that our boys should be given a chance to rehabilitate instead of being shot dead on sight. Other times I think about how we are going to undo laziness and years of values entrenched overtime. 


Family structure contributing to the cycle of poverty in Jamaica

People say time hard yet I see Jamaicans wearing expensive clothes and hairstyles. I cannot understand how you can afford to maintain a particular appearance and yet your children cannot go to school nor can you provide their nutritional needs. 

I am of the opinion that we need to establish a statutes that precludes women of a certain financial background from having a certain amount of children. This might sound prejudicial or even classist but it is consistently factual that our lawless young men are often from a background of a struggling single mother with too many children. 

It simply means that the mother who fails to adequately provide for her children will often lead children to find creative and illegal ways of fending for themselves when they are old enough to understand their economical situations. Look at it this way. The woman who lives in the one room house with the five children has a higher percentage rate of. Inadvertently contributing to the crime rate in the next ten years. 


Her son will become ashamed of the one room house that he lives in by time he attends high school. He will try to hustle to change or improve his mother's and siblings financial status. This is one of the reasons why we have so many teenage scammers. The teenage boy will most likely stop going to school either because he cannot afford it or his new found "job" is providing so much money that school now seems obsolete. 

This "job" that he gets will in most circumstances be illegal. His mother might it may not be cognizant of where he is getting money from to feed their family. Chances are he will end up in jail or in the morgue by way of his own circles or police officers. This mother might lose several sons to criminality and lawlessness because every younger son will attempt to either improve or undone what the eldest died for. These boys have a misconception about masculinity. They believe that their manhood is defined by how dangerous they appear to society. 


There is a flip side to story. The single mother's daughters will leave home early to live or sleep with an older man who can assist in financing her eduction. The mother will allow this because she cannot afford to supplement the needs of the teenage daughter including clothes and school money. If the teenage daughter is not smart or the man involved does not love her. She will get pregnant and bring another mouth to feed into her mother's house to feed.

The cycle of poverty continues threefolds and spans generation until someone decides to put and end to it and start another family history. 

The cycle is perpetuated by the teenage daughters children who might end up like herself or her brothers. Young men who die from a life of criminality often leave children behind who has mothers similar to their own mothers. We have a family with career criminals and matriarchal family structure that is transgenerational in Jamaica. 


My beef with women in Jamaica that have too many children or who do not pay specially attentions to the needs of their children is that they are creating menaces to society without even knowing it. I know our women can do better because I know women with several children who made sacrifices to ensure that their children become good adults and have better futures than they did. 

People Mistakes and some
Of us have to make them several times before we understand  fully understand the scope of our choices. You have no choice in the consequences of your actions but you must remained committed to improving your life and that of your children. 

Be careful what you do with your child. What you teach him and the type of behaviors that you encouraged. The rest of the world will have the live with that person that you created. If he becomes a liability to his society the you will surely bury him. 

Sunday, January 12, 2014

We are nothing

The human being lives as if he will never die. He spends his life acting untouchable, invincible and immortal ... 


From nothing to something then back to nothing...


When he dies it as if he never lived... He was nothing before he was born and he returns to being nothing after his death. 


You think we mean anything... We are all nothing. What is man at the end of the day? He is nothing...


Crystal Evans 

I write my best at this hour when the world is asleep and my lamp flickers against the silence of the night.

How to optimize your Jamaican site for search engines?

How to optimize your Jamaican Site for Search Engine? 




I bet a lot of people don't know that if you post at least five articles per day. You double google bots ability to pick up your blog and feed it to search engines making it optimized so that fresh organic readers can get access to your site. You optimize your site by blogging everyday instead of every once in a while. Remember Jamaica is a fairly untapped niche. Which means there is room for growth. Please put up fresh unique content with highly optimized keywords relevant to the area that you are specializing in. 

Don't choose to create a Jamaican blog that everybody has. Niches like entertainment, culture and tourism are very full. You might have a good idea but if you are not willing to spend money to get visitors through advertising then your blog will be struggling against other established competitors. Pick a niche that is untapped. Don't follow the crowd be original. 

Blogs with subdomains like blogspot, hubpages and Wordpress do rank high in search engines but if you want to make your Jamaican Website highly optimized please do not use a subdomains. Buy your own domain name and redirect it, masked to your subdomains if you cannot afford a hosting package or platform. Also pick a site to host your website that has a fast download time for your webpage. Google rewards those who spend money with Adsense and the Jamaican niche is pretty cheap. It appears people who are spending money with the Internet industry get higher ranks. 


Not every Jamaican site has to have a template in gold, green and black. It's nice to appeal to ones country colours but think about the thousands of website with Jamaican templates look a like. It is best to use a template that is somewhat original. Free templates on blogspot and others will kill your blog in search engines. Even if you use a free template tweak it to make it ordinal by changing colour schemes. 

Please don't choose a template colour that will not work with the Font scheme that you have in mind of your blog. Nobody is gonna want to read lime green on yellow. Chose a nice Font color preferably black and On white. More so know that pink works well for a pregnancy or teenage gossip blog but not for a corporate blog. One wrong colour coding, don't care how you blog content is good will just make a possible reader or buyer bounce. 


Remember a fancy blog without an appealing content is just an advertisement online. You need readers and subscribers so that you can make money off advertising. Even if you are considering reselling your blog. You will need to convince a buyer of the traffic that is there from your traffic statistic page and google references. I launched thejamaicaninspirator.com on New Year's Day and it already getting over a hundreds hit in one day and it's still under construction. When I type in my keywords. I can easily find any of my website. They are all fully optimized for their niches. 


Use your back links. Link your website to other sites with similar content. RSS feeds and news feed are also good for optimizing your blog. Ask other bloggers to provide a link to your blog and you provide a back link in return. There are millions of blogs out there. Don't get lost in the rubble.

Buy my Search Engine Optimization tool kit online Now. 

Friday, January 10, 2014

Money , Business and Friendships

Money can't buy friendship 

I have some people in my life who are very good judge of character. My child's father is one of them. He is never wrong about his observation. He watched me doing my business and he knows when am being shit slapped from when I have a real client. 


I spent three days and three hours on a consultation. I didn't make a dime. I shared my ideas and guidelines without making a profit and that happens a lot. People sometimes just want to know you business. I am naive therefore sometimes I play along. 

 Just like investors trying to squeeze every dime out of me with no regards for the other members in my fund. I realize that people only care about themselves. People are only into you to get something from you. 


Anybody in the service industry will know how interested a client is or if they had any intention of spending money with you by how quickly they cut you off. The client that falls off the earth quickly after consultation was hitch hiking for ideas. People who want to do business keep in touch, looking for window of opportunity to contribute. 


I watch a client who refuse to develop a good web business idea she had,go out and buy a suit for work, shoes, bag and pay taxi fare everyday whilst she claimed that the money to develop her idea was too much. I realize in this business people expect you to do things for them for free. I know that her back to work outfit plus daily fares until she got her first pay cheque worth more than the starter account for $80. She probably thought it was too good for Keywebstores.com. Maybe just maybe if I was some remote, unknown Internet entrepreneur from another country then just maybe they would be more inclined to pay for my services. I know shit when I smell it. She would rather invest thousands of dollars in a job with a secured pay than in her own idea. A very good one which I capitalized on instantly. I realized that people don't believed in themselves, they believe in the system. 

There is a reason they don't teach media or iT at National Training Agency ( Heart Trust). These are very expensive knowledge based professions that have a particular finesse to them. It requires enthusiasm and a keen understanding for this area to be able to teach it to others who are unexposed to the subject area. 

My significant other often says this " a black man can never own a bank. If he opens a bank. His people would never bank with him for fear that he might take their money and build himself up. Even if they bank with him. They would call in everyday to check on their money and if they see him buying up houses and cars. Everybody would all of a sudden want to take out their money. Familiarity breeds contempt. 

 When I use to beg people to invest in my business. It was some of the most humiliating times in my life. But I pulled through and ended up a partial success, I still have space to grow. I never gave up. I told myself that if god could provide for the birds of the air and the animals in the sea. He would never let an intelligent being like me starve to death. 
 When life does not create a window of opportunity. You create one for yourself 


Crystal Evans Jamaica 

We are sonder. Love thy brother as thyself



I took a picture of a halve moon in the late afternoon because things in nature fascinate me.Nature is not temporary but I am. 

Everything about this universe will probably be here long after I am gone. That's why every sunrise is so spectacular to me and I find how time moves fast when I asleep as one of the mysteries of the universe. Time is very relative. Forever can be just a second, or a millionth of a second. 


Sometimes I stare into the sky and wonder what could I have done differently to effect a sense of change for unity in this world. I don't want no war. I just need justice. 

I think about how we blame politicians for every god almighty things that is wrong with our nation because they can be held accountable. What about ourselves? We know what is right and we know what will happen and yet we the electorate keep swapping kettle for Dutch pot. We are responsible for our reality. 

A friend on Facebook asked me something that hurt me to my core this morning. She said that I loved my friends so much or my cousin why didn't we warned them to stay away from bad company. I guess Monique doesn't have any brothers. 

Boys will be boys and Men will be Men. I see a teacher was gun downed in a store with his friend. People say that he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. I don't think that justifies the killing of a young man who was contributing to this society by teaching our children so they can get enlighten and get out of poverty. 

I often wonder about the men who do these things. They go back home to their families. Their mothers and girlfriends wash their clothes. They cook food and give it to them knowing full well that they cost another family grief

. I often imagine when police kill them that two families are distraught because of a single stupid decision. Two mothers left in anguish because of one stupid decision. Two family torn by grief and children left fatherless because of one stupid decision. A decision that will no doubt begin a cycle of poverty and crime. 

We are a world of selfish people. Only thinking about ourselves and our own with no regards for the lives that we destroy to enforce our ideologies. We don't care about the horror that we bring upon others family members. 

We have forgotten that everyone that we see have their own battles and a labrynth network of friends and family just as extensive as ours. 

We are Sonder 



Children exposed to Violence become more violent




I am very interested in what turns an innocent baby boy into a deviant member of society. I have concluded base on my observations over the years that boys expose to violence during their childhood are more prone to become violent adults. 

I am talking about the boy who lost his father to violence, the boy who witnesses a father or step father hitting his mother or the child whose father abused him. These children internalize a mindset that weak people get pounded upon. They get a misrepresentation of what a strong character is and begin subscribing to the wrong philosophies. 


I had a rather interesting conversation with a mother about her son who is behind bars for gun possession. I was trying to fathom knowing her personality and that of his father, how he became the person that he is. He was nothing like his parents. 


During the conversation the mother told me that her younger brother was chopped to death when her son was only nine year old. The little boy told his mother even when he started school that he would never allow any one to step down on him the way they did his uncle.


I quickly extrapolated from our conversation and reinforced my belief that violence only begets more violence. This young man now twenty years old believes that he can only assert his masculinity through violence. He is of the opinion that if him don't put up a bad man front that people will get rid of him. He believed his uncle died because he wasn't bad enough, tough enough. He probably thought that his uncle was a coward. He thinks his uncle died because he was weak. 

He enters adulthood a convict. He convinced his mother that he was young and naive that he is grateful for the chance of life that the police officer who brought him in instead of killing him gave him. He had vowed never to waste the opportunity that he got at a second chance when so many have died.