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Crystal Evans Books

“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie



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Monday, July 28, 2014

Ten Rules of Engagement with Your Jamaican Man!!!!

So we have heard this notion hundreds of times, we have read the books and watched the movies of some tell tale sign that translates whether or not your current love interest is even remotely interested in you.

1. I think a man or a woman knows when someone wants to be with them, they often avidly pursue their object of affection. If someone is not calling you, speaking to you or display any interest in your life then that person's interest is already invested elsewhere. Use yourself as a measure of your prospective partner. As a matter a fact, use the guy who likes you too much who you want nothing to do with as a yardstick for the one you are chasing and is running away from you.

2. The one whom you have to be begging to return a message or a text is definitely not that into you. When we love people we want to be around them so that we can catch pieces of their lives, share their most intimate moments of joys and offer comfort in times of despair. If the guy you like doesn't call when your mother dies or offer condolences, then he definitely does not care about you.

3. The one who only texts or calls to ask when he will be able to have sex with you. It is okay if you do not have a problem in being only an orifice for some boy's penis but if you are hoping for a relationship with a man who is clearly only interested in the physical part of your correspondence and finds your best personality boring, has never invited you on a date or outing, does not talk about taking it to the next level and often refers to your relationship followed by hashtag #Just for sex or We have a ting? This nigga is clearly not that into you.

4. After having a wonderful introduction he excuses himself to eat his dinner or whatever. Women know that we use the phone even in the shower and our list of boy toys text us even when they are driving. A dude who is really into you will not leave your next meeting up to chance. He will make an effort to see you. So if your current crush idea of your next meet goes something like " we will link up next time or me will see you a next time" with no solicitation for a number he is clearly not that into you or maybe his plate is really full now and he will find someway to get in contact with you when he runs out of options.

5. If you are afraid to text or call your love interest then your feet is already halfway through the door. Your inhibition might be faulty but it is always a manifestation of things within your sub-concious that tells you that this guy is not that into you. Something you notice in his behaviour like a knit of the brow, that odd feeling you get from being around him which is him often subtle giving you a negative vibe. If approaching your crush makes you feel uncomfortable then maybe you should relax and let him do some of the work in getting this union off the jump start.

6. If you are having sex with someone and you feel used or exploited then that is your cue to stop. Sex is a beautiful natural activity and one should feel fulfilled and relaxed after sex. If you are feeling pressured, unloved and sexual intercourse is like doing an exam you did not study for then you are having sex with someone who is not that into you. Face it, you know when you do something with a guy who loves you, how he treats you and how he responds to your needs. If he is demanding, insistent on his own pleasure, quick to leave after the act and discards you like a used football jersey then you are clearly screwing a guy who is not that into you.

7. The Guy who just broke up with his ex that he is still brooding over is the last man you want to have a relationship with. He will not only be emotionally unavailable but he will carry over his resentment for his ex into this relationship. Not that men do not rebound very fast from a break up but if your new beau is someone recently old dude then you might be sharing your life with a transient lover who is using you to dull the ache in his heart, to soothe his bruised ego and might not be entirely into you. If he leads the relationship with a " am not ready for another relationship or we can do a thing on the down low or is afraid to let the world know that you two are an item". He is clearly not that into you.

8. If you are in a relationship already and you are interested in a new person then it is best to leave the one you are with first. You will not get one hundred percent from a man who knows you already has another man. He will take whatever you offer but he will never truly respect you because he knows you are cheating on your beau. If you decide to cheat then ensure that if your partner leaves you then he/she will be willing to dedicate themselves to you. If not you would have wasted their time and yours. You exchanged your bronze for a wash over gold.

9. Classism affects relationships in that a woman has to be careful how willing she is to settle or sleep with someone who might be of a lower social, intellectual or financial status. It is not being prejudicial but the social image fall out from sleeping with someone who is not your equal can leave an indelible mark on not only your life but your reputation. It is like doctor sleeping with a scammer. You should not be having a relationship with someone with whom you are ashamed of and can never be public with. Pursuing relationships that if they are made public could spell disgrace are one of the reasons middle class women end up with fatherless children.

10. Don't give away your love for free. It doesn't mean a man should have to buy your affection it only states that if you value yourself then make him at least work for it. Do not hand it to him on a platter. If someone values your company then they will not see spending time with you as work or some kind of inconvenience. If your gut is telling you that you are in a messed up situation then maybe you need to get out.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

From Crystal Evans Book- Excerpt

From my NewBook
Chapter excerpt
Coming This August 2014
Copyright2014 ©™ Crystal Evans Book Club. All rights reserved. 

I hoped for a boy baby. It probably had something to do with my love for men. I have been accused all my life for " lubbing too much man". I loved men, all men, brown men, black men and bleachers. I liked tall men, short men, wild man and Christian.  Rich or poor, scammer, drugs man, doctor and cane cutter, as long as it name man, my teeth be grinning from ear to ear. 

My child's father was the love of my life. I knew I wanted to be with him from the first day I spotted him, tall, leaned sideways by his blue Honda civic in a blue Hollister Shirt and  matching Ralph Lauren Polo Pants.  His eyes, dark, emotionless without depth peered back at me from beneath hooded eyelids. He didn't smile like men did when they liked a girl, instead he stared me down with intensity, perusing my body like a piece of meat, sipping from his party cup. He had motioned me over with a flick of his long index finger and I marched towards him like a lamb in a trance going to the slaughter. 

He bared his white teeth, his breath smelled like Ganja and Rum and his eyes never left my lips. He offered me a drink and I declined since I was too busy drinking him in. His dark features, a day's growth of stubble along his caramel face and neatly corn rowed hair was alluring than any athlete model on the cover of Espn. He was twice as ruggedly handsome with his hair Afro style, disheveled, big hair, white merino or V neck T-shirt racing passed in his new Suzuki Grand Vitara. My friends and I would literally stick our tongues out, panting like a dog at him, screaming Oohs and Awes at how mesmerizing and swaggarific he  looked on those 22 inch Chrome rims. 

I loved him before he was mine and I laid beneath him, I gave myself to him for I was to become the envy of other women. I spared nothing and gave my all, careless and reckless with my love that resulted in this child, this baby was the summation of our love and the initiation of my hatred towards him. I loved him and now I despised him with as much fervour.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Crystal Evans Romance Novel

Available July  30 In print and ebook everywhere. 
Crystal Evans © copyright 2014 

Renee retreated on all four. She had to stop this peeping Tom business at  the niegbour's guest. She was not a pubescent girl anymore and this was ridiculous but she couldn't help being inquisitive when it came to Mr. Tall Dark and Bad. 

The lilt tone of the female laughter drew her in like a magnet to steel. It was like it had been ten years ago. He came home from college at the age of twenty three and the house buzzed with female voices, young, slender, bodies waltzing in and out. He always brought them to the pool and then they would do some synchronized swimming. Ten years later and women were still tapping to the same tune he played back in the day. 

A branch broke beneath Renee's weight and she cursed under her breath. The leaves rustled, twigs, grass and leaves decorated her hair and she took deep, silent breaths. A sneeze was coming and she quickly dissolved it in her shoulder. She was too late, the characters from the movie she watched behind the fencing of flowers and shrubs, glanced her way. 

The female asked in a worried voice. " is somebody watching us!" 

Mr. Tall Dark and Bad strode over the bushy fencing, he meant to have a landscaper come in and give the place a facelift but he'd been preoccupied with work ever since he came back from the states. He tiptoed to peer over the hibiscuses and the funniest sight greeted him. A female on her hands and knees slowly going backwards with trash in her hair, vestiges of unswept debris accumulated from last autumn. He croaked " I see you like being on all fours, is that your favorite position?" 

Her head snap up and a pair a brown eyes, oval and intelligent met his. "sorry i was looking for my cat" 

Brad cocked an eyebrow and looked from side to side as if trying to locate the imaginary feline.  " no I don't see your cat". He replied in an arrogant, derisive voice. 

Renee crimsoned with embarrassment, he was making fun of her. She stood up and brush debris off her clothes, tentatively removing decayed leaves from her Remy realistic tendrils . She wished the ground would open up and swallow her before she died of mortification.

" well she might find her way back home anyways. My cat is very smart" 

His eyes twinkled with mischief. "I bet she is" 

The lady in the background asked. 
" Brad what is wrong?" 

Brad shouted back without shifting his gaze from Renee.  " nothing Babes, just an annoying cat"
He arched both brows for emphasis and Renee shrugged with a smirk.

She said "am going back inside so nice seeing you Brad".  

She did not wait for him to reply instead she half ran- walk to her father's dead left house. Her legs were not moving fast enough to get away from his laughing eyes and he made a low chuckle as she sprinted away. 

Brad stared at her back until she disappeared through the back door. He wanted to let out a roar of laughter but couldn't risk scaring a second female off. The one by the pool was acting as spooked as a mouse. He chuckled determined he would find out the real reason behind " the nieghbour"  snooping around in his back yard. She was going to pay for messing his date up as he would now have to calm the frazzled nerves of the delicate creature by the pool who kept crooning his name in a scared voice. 

He knew she was not as scared as she pretended, her eyes were unflinching and body language relaxed, she was milking this minor occurrence for all she thought it was worth. Brad hated women who acted , fake people are a huge turn off and  this one stepped out of a broadway musical. 

The Spy's face was awfully familiar but he could not put a name to her features. She knew who he was and she knew the Massens since she was staying in his father's guest house. 

If she was here then what happened to Mr. Massen's daughter,  Renee, the chubby child who gazed at him adoringly and made his boys tease him mercilessly, calling him an " infant killer". 

He avoided her at all cost during his high school days. His friends once saw her passing a window and shouted " hey Halloween is over, so take off your mask" 

Renee's stiffened her back and walked away, head high in the air without wincing. Brad felt terrible about that joke because it was not funny. He was not big on finding amusement from other people's disadvantages. 

He was restless that night, unable to sleep, the face of his neighborly espionage haunted him. He was up at the crack of dawn. He went for a quick run, drinking in the beauty and serenity of the atmosphere in Cherry Gardens. 

Brad grabbed a coffee maker from the boxes of appliances he shipped home. He gazed trough the kitchen window at the woman across the fence using a scissors clipper to cut the flowers along the parameters of the yard. 

He nearly knocked over the  Coffeemaker on the table as he left his tea in a hurry to confront the stranger doing landscaping on his own property, unannounced and unbidden. 

Renee saw Brad bounced through the backdoor. He wore a T-shirt, sweat shorts and sneakers like a track athlete. Renee smiled and said 
"Morning niegbour, what's up?" . 

Brad ignored the greeting " when can I speak with Renee? She should have notified me that she was taking on a tenant!" 

She scoffed. "really now Brad or you just pretending you don't recognize me?" 

Brad placed his hands akimbo above his pelvis.  " should I know you?". 

Her head jerked backways, eyelids fluttering.  " I am Reneee" 

Brads mouth formed a perfect O. " wow, you look soooo different. What a transformation" 

Brad did a blatant appraisal of her body. She boasted neat curves, small voluptuous figure, round bottom and slender waist. She was not model thin but posed the type of a physique that would attract any red blooded male. 

He queried feeling his cock twitch in his jock strap. " what's up? What you do last night after you run off?" 

Renee lips broke into a bright smile. " Drank some brandy and red bull" 

He chuckled. " oh so you drink this morning and it make you a trim down mi roses them?" 

Rennee giggled. " no just want a little exercise am kinda soporific from last and night" 

He smiled and fold his arms across his chest. " so you just flass all
Night then?" 

Renee held the shear mid air. " what's with the twenty one questions? No I watched Games and Thrones and saw my favorite character die because he did not honour his vows and let his cock rule him like most men." 

Brad let out peals of laughter. " well Same thing pussy first and every fucking thing else after. Same way from back in the day" 

She smirked, disgusted by his admission that most men were essentially dickheads. "something am learning.  I have discovered that a man sees you as a woman first and everything else after despite what you might possess if his dick does not lift to you physique then you are just as invisible".

Brad snickered.  " I beg to differ. I enjoy a good conversation. Helps me get to know the other person. That helps more I think Than letting my dick rule....and mi end up with something I regret after" 

" My male friend was telling me a while ago how this girl he met wants him to buy her a liscence. Liscence cost around $45,000. She's an attractive girl and it's killing him to choose between what his brain is telling him and what makes his cock twitch" 

He laughed " he's a trick. Probably a late bloomer" 

"So I drank his liquor and listen to him morose over this woman that from all indication fits the description of a classic gold digger who thinks she's god gift to men." 

She spoke solemnly. " He's like a brother to me. He has a deficiency he likes high end women and he buys them 30,000 perfumes"

Brad smiled " He's a trick... and he deserves what he's getting. it simple money can't buy love he knows that but..."

" He thinks a pretty woman solidifies and enhances his social experiences. It is all about the package just like his clothes, his car and his house. The woman is apart of his self esteem mechanism.He has serious issues and I can't help him."

Brad licked his lips and they glisten. Pink lips, saliva made them glossy. 
" Low self-esteem... Pleasing the wrong party leaves oneself empty. Let him self distruct he'll learn from that then" 

He was listening and Renee continued feeling compelled by his attention. " Anyone who spends their lives at the mercy of the opinions of others will never find peace. He lives too much for what others think and that is his kryptonite. " 

He grinned and peered into her eyes " Super man soon hit the rock hard" 

Renee shuddered, she felt chilly in the morning sun. " He's a big boy he will survive" 

He licked his lips, hands across his broad chest. " Hopefully.... you would approve if it was you the recipient" 

Renee's eye brows furrowed.
" recipient of what? Love or money?"

He supplied, feet apart, radiating sexuality and dominance in his stance. " what your friend is offering" 

She smiled.  " Affection  any day over money. Love cannot be bought" 

Brad raised an eyebrow. He was still the cutest man she's ever known. " sure you not just saying that to impress me?" 

Renee looked him up and down like something reprehensible. " don't flatter yourself too much. This is not high school anymore" 

Brad scoffed and close the space between them. His eyes shone bright with amusement and Renee did not miss the outline of his penis in the sweat pants. He followed her eyes. He asked in a matter of fact voice. " you like. It feels just as good as it looks" 

Renee coughed and excused herself from his closeness with three backward steps.  He threw his head back and laugh, his Adam Apple moving up and down rapidly. Renee wanted to nip that arrogance in the bud. 

" really now? I've seen and has better". She's smiled like a seductress working the night shift on the streets of New Kingston and trot away in a cat walk worthy of Bet's Rip The Runway. The look of confusion and admiration on Brad's face was satisfying and she strutted away without a backward glance, content in knowing she had won this first challenge. 

Friday, July 18, 2014

When Evil rears it's ugly head?

Remember this for those heads still in the clouds... Security is a superstition  and safety is blanket of illusion. You are only as safe to the extent that others can tolerate your existence. Most of us are only pawns in this big game of power struggle. Anything can happen at anytime.

#RIP Malaysian Plane crash Victims

Evil does not need a reason to read its ugly head. Evil is will consume you, point you out unbidden, unprovoked and unincited, decide to overthrow you without rhyme or reason. Evil lives power and the weight of supremacy is only measured in blood. Death is the only currency of any value. 

You could commit an infraction against a man and regardless of how much you offer to pay to have that offence expunge, he might demand payment in blood. Nothing appeals more to the wicked like the devaluation or desecration of what a human being holds sacred... Their life... 

How many of us will perish because of what others believe? It's strange how other mortals who value their lives often find it convenient to take the lives of another. 

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Women are the agents of social change!

From the Book " Children of the Jamaican Working Class" 
Copyright © Crystal Evans 

I was watching a local television report where an elderly lady living in a zinc house. When I say zinc, I mean the entire structure is made out of zinc.  The middle age lady claimed that she and her daughter lives in the house with several children. She has seven children and her daughter has two. She went on to show the news crew her father's house which was made out of Zinc and Tarpaulin. I shook my head. Several generations of poverty and no one is making an attempt to improve the situation. I kept wondering what happened to the daughter's baby daddies.  They are suppose to provide shelter for their children. 

I don't know about any woman but I refuse to allow some man to " cock me up" anywhere and impregnate me. I mean if you don't have any where to put the head on your neck, you should not be in a rush to shove the one between your legs into an orifice. 

I stand firm by my belief that having too many children is the main culprit for the social maladies we experience including criminality and poverty.  This is something I observed from childhood. 
Mother has five children for five different man. Every man comes and promises to enrich her life and take care of the children. He leaves as soon as she gets pregnant for fear of committing to the financial burden of providing for her and her offsprings. 

Her sons grow up with feelings of inadequacy because they cannot buy " clarkes" to wear go school and not one teenage girl would glance their way cause they are not wearing Hollister and Polo. By the time they are fifteen, they become embarrass of living in the small house with mother and the smaller siblings. As the new man in the house. The son develops a growing sense of responsibility to his mother and kinship. He attempts to alleviate his mother's financial problems by turning to crime. He might die leaving children fathered by him for his already poor mother to take care of. The cycle continues... 

Daughters sometimes make the same mistake as the mother. She is often blackmailed or forced into relationship with older men who knowing the financial plight of the family offers to help finance her education in exchange for sex. Mother may or may not be aware of the arrangement as well as she might be complicit with it. The girl gets pregnant and the man abandons the union because he did not want a child or any form of commitment.  The daughter brings one more mouth to feed in the already crammed dwelling. If she does not wise up then very soon some other man will promise her financial security the way they did her mother. She will end up having children, she too cannot take care of. The cycle will no doubt continue. This is a transgenerational cycle of poverty and it will not stop until someone puts a condom on. 

Women are the agents of social change. Control how many babies we have and we could change the world. We cannot deny the connection between having too many children and poverty.  We know that poverty leads to more crime. Contraception literally saves lives.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Every man deserves a Good Jacket

Copyright 2014© Crystal Evans 

If you asked me what I thought about men in my community, I would paint a portrait of elaborate neurotics. My child's father sat among their ranks, delusional in the belief that they are god's gift to women, when they are only giving gifts to women.  Relationships are a simple wager.  Sex in exchange for money with no promise of a commitment. These days it is sex being bartered for hype, girls sleeping with precocious boys for increase social gratification. 
Imagine sleeping with someone because their presence augments one social experience, think about it , without any iota of permanency, the idea of an improved social status granted is fairly fictitious. The relationship is in reality only a story that you recount to people to build credence to your social character. Chilling recollection, since depending on the audience, it can multiply or subtract from your appearance. Your overall social portrait diminished. 

This social orchestra is in tandem with pregnancy. The way people perused your body, looking you up and down like a piece of dishcloth that they use to wipe rat shit off a greasy stove top. 

Asking you questions, being furtive with their mouth yet candid with their eyes.  They never say exactly how they feel but they give away so much in their paralanguage, inflection of their voice and the atmosphere that cracks in their presence. This ritual magnified twofold if the child is an expected Jacket. Cut to Fit. 

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Why Tessanne Chin isn't selling 9 million copies of her album.

One of my Facebook friends recently posted this "It is funny how when Tessanne chin did a mash up the voice a everybody a support her on the voice, AND NOW WHEN HER ALBUM IS OUT ALL THOSE PEOPLE NOT SUPPORTING HER ALBUM , ALL A DEM PEOPLE DEH A FAKE FANS, FIRE BUN FI DEM!!!‪#‎SMH‬ ‪#‎KMT‬"

He was upset that despite the reverie sorrounding Tessanne Chin winning ABC the voice that the Jamaican population and those within the diaspora were not supporting Tessanne's Album. This dude probably left Jamaica years ago and does not remember that Jamaican's loved anything that was Free and will support you as long as it makes them look. Break a leg or lose the limelight and you are just as easily forgotten. Never make your own success be at the mercy of the opinions of Jamaicans.

I responded to his post with these three comments...

" Typical Jamaican"

He asked me. " By the way Crystal did u buy her album?"

I responded " No i was happy she won but in all honesty i am not a fan of her music. Tessanne kinda reggae is somewhat elitist and you know the average Jamaican just cannot relate to that...its of a different grain. well it is the reality, we celebrate her victory because she represented us and we reveled in her accomplishments...success by proxy...then the hype faded away and we went back to listening the Akaline, Popcaan and the Vybx Kartel. Tessane tunes don't really bring any vibe in the dance hall...i have never heard one of her songs played at any sessions i have even been to."

Disc Jockey's do not play Tessanne's music and if truth be told Jamaicans are just as happy that Rhianna and Nicki Minaj are of Caribbean heritage but would never buy an album. We like to take credit for the success of others when they build themselves up. We celebrate with you at the pinnacle but very few people are going to be willing to do what is necessary to keep your there. That is just reality.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

The Fairy Tale Complex Women

The Ideal Man- often financially secure, popular, attractive, desired by many, bedded by a chosen few, committed to one, chased my ratchets.  Has a lot of social clout therefore association enhances social experiences. 

Wife- The lady that is recognized by all and sunder as the leading lady in the ideal man's life. She is often the mother of his children, wears his ring, share bank accounts and expenditures. Wives drive his cars and don't duck in the front seat or get picked up on dark, shady back roads. Wives are invited to business meetings, society functions and promotional banquets. She is the only partner respected in certain quarters of the ideal man life. All other women are transitory, on the back burner. He spends holidays with her, Christmas and valentines day. 

Stalker- Girl who is in love with the ideal man but excluded from the centerfold of his life due to a sour relationship or bad break up. Stalker is still in love with the ideal man. She will remain detach from him but keep an update on his life. She may or may not try to contact him. The stalker spends every waking hour daydreaming about what was or what is supposed to be. 

Jilted Lover- The woman the ideal man leaves without any warning or reason. She's still in love with him because she desires closure and hopes to find a basis for the break up or an opportunity to reconcile. The jilted lover is a woman with a frazzled emotional state, she spends hours combing through the last days leading up to the end of the relationship trying to pinpoint where she might have gone wrong. The ideal man often abruptly halts communication with her and she is too embarrassed or weak to confront him for fear of further rebuff. She hangs on to a miserable hope that since there was no 'bloodletting' during the break up that there may still be hope for a reconnection. 

Fallback Girl-  The ideal
Man has a girl that he can always count on to be willing to take him back no matter. She is saving herself for the her seasonal lover who comes around only when he wants to get away from other issues in his life. She is perennially single, saving herself in hopes that the ideal man will stay this time when he comes around. The Fall Back girl is more often than not an ex girlfriend, teenage lover or a girl whom the ideal man cares deeply for but does cannot commit to her. The reasons for keeping the fall back girl in reserve ranges from wanting something more to public humiliation if the relationship should graduate to permanency.  You know you are a Fall back girl if he dumps you every time he meets someone new or when his current girlfriend dumps him.  You are his just in case lover, just in case things don't work out with her then I will commit to you. The fall back girl might feel comfortable knowing that she always has a space in his heart not knowing that if he should find his ideal female then he would have no need for her. The fall back girl
Is a little better off than the Fucka Gyal because she has permanent role in his life. 

The Mistress-  The mistress is the woman that a man has an ongoing relationship with outside of his marriage or common law union. This relationship may or may not be public and in most cases the man maintains his roles and responsibilities as a committed partner with his mistress as he does with his wife. This may or may not include paying her bills and insisting that she remains committed to him albeit he is already dedicated to someone else. The mistress may or may not have children for him. A typical mistress is often single, younger without children, college student or young professional. The ideal man sometimes replaces his wife with his mistress. Round of applause for all the side chicks committed to another girl's man. 

Fucka Gyal- has not position but the one she applies in some cheap motel bed. She's good for sex and only that, it is not even a friends with benefit situation. The ideal
man does not recognize her in social settings, he calls her when he runs out of options or when he needs a non-demanding sexual partner. A woman in this type of girlfriend situation does get promoted to mistress or wifey in rare instances. But a sex partner never really graduates from being just someone the ideal man sleeps with on the down low or when he wants to get freak on. Fucka gyal has no title therefore enjoys little if any benefits. You are a Fucka gyal if you are sleeping with a man who has not acknowledge a relationship with you. He doesn't buy you clothes, pay your bills or buy groceries. You often have to sleep with other men to buy clothes so that you can go out with him. He is the only one benefitting from the relationship and your hope for better days is as strong as a cobweb that it frustrates you. 
The thing is most Fucka Gyals concede early in the relationship that they will be satisfied with being just bed lays but demand more after falling in love with the ideal man. 

Let Go: Relationships

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. You all need to have the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to . . . . . . . .

Romeo Graham 

Celebrate your advantages and Talents

You see if people would concentrate on their own individual skills instead of mumbling over what they don't have then we would have a better world with less badmind and envy. Take for example am not perfect. Certain things I can't do like make up or comb hair. I can't do nails. I can't sing. I can't draw or make elaborate designs. I am not a neat person. I cannot bake without using a cake mix and even then I still might spoil it. There are many things in this world that I could never do even if I wanted to but other people can. I don't concentrate on what I was never blessed with...I work what ever talent I was born with. That is what you should do. 

Everyone has inadequacies, even perfect people and celebrities have deficiencies, they don't talk about because they are too busy concentrating on what really works for them and not what doesn't. Even if your talent is only a big bumpa then work why you have, people are doing surgeries to get an ass like that. 

Stop moroseing over what you do not have and give thanks for what you possess now. 

Friday, July 4, 2014

Who taught our boys dressing like gangsters is cute?

Who should be blamed for the fashion sense of our young men.  Some people say the media, others absentee fathers and lack of education regarding self respect. 
How can our young men dress like criminals and not be expected to be treated like one. 
It might sound discriminatory but when last have you walked on the streets, moving around in fear because you do not know if the young man with the hand kerchief tied across his face, hair disheveled, facial features permanent contorted into a grim and ferocious glare is just a disaffected young man and not a marauding gun man. 
Just imagine if you were a police officer and saw somebody like that on the street, especially with that gangsta gait. We would cry and say he was an innocent boy who dressed like a thug. 

 Who taught our boys that behaving like a bad man is an attractive element? What culture mislead our boys into thinking only true validation they can get from their peers or society is by creating suffering and violence? Why is it that our young men chivalry, decency and honesty  as signs of weakness than nobility and strength. Where did we go wrong with our boys? 

How do you feel about others success?

A guy ask me last night, why I don't talk about my books in real life. I told him you have to be careful how you talk about your success. Your achievements can make others feel uncomfortable. Your success may sometimes accentuate their own inadequacies within themselves. People will be offended by who you are, especially those who know where you are coming from. It is better for them to see you as you are than to think something else of you. 

I hold no grudge against those who are pushing forward in this life because successful people often go through a lot to reach where they are now. I reserve myself to happiness, because each success cements the notion that anything is possible with hope, perseverance and hardwork. I like when people succeed because they give me hope. They reaffirm the dominance of the human spirit, anything is possible if we put our minds to it. Successful people don't bring out envy in me. It brings out the need to achieve in me. I don't know about you.

When the poor boy get rich?

when the tear up batty pants bwoy start drive x5...all of a sudden he is treating ppl the way people use to treat the slave who becomes a master and in order to feel less of a slave he too has to enslave, belittle and demean others...the only way you can feel truly values is by devaluing others. I think not. 

In order for people to shake off their feelings of inferiority when they elevate in life... They must treat people like shit, ironically the way people use to treat them when they were nobodies. Superiority is essentially commanded not demanded. If you deserve respect and clout, you will get it, you don't have to diss ppl. They might fear you but they will never respect you or value your life.