Jamaican Men Money and Relationships

Jamaican women and Jamaican men in Relationship

Yesterday I sat with my girlfriends at lunch and listen as they mooned over the latest drama that developed in their relationships. I stood up and asked my girlfriends if they thought true love existed anymore. I knew that this topic would generate a plethora of idea. My conjectures were right as my girlfriends became frenzy with opinions. Their face etched with disdain and disgust as they spouted the notable irritable qualities and numerous character flaws that Jamaican men evince. Every commented ended with the fact that Jamaican men were irresponsible fathers, lousy companions and gaudy creatures. My girlfriends conceded that Jamaican men were not interested in family and relationship. My friends said that love was lost and that men only wanted to have sex. My friends said that “is why we no fraid fi nyam dem out”
Jamaican men have come a far way with regards to familial precepts and values. My grandmother told me that men during her time, men were more involved in the upbringing of children than today. My grandmother stated that irreverence for Jamaican men aroused when males lost their powers in the home by refusing to seek knowledge and choosing the prison over the university.
Ignorance is partially responsible for the frustrations and heartaches that are plaguing relationships with Jamaican men. Seventy percent of Jamaican men are semiliterate or illiterate. Females far outnumber their male counterparts in the universities and in corporate Jamaica. Successful Women are finding it increasingly frustrating to find a partner, who is on her financial and intellectual level. The few perceivably accomplished men are very unavailable when it comes to any form of meaningful relationships. Financially stable men are not quick to form a relationship with one woman since there are many women in the streets with similar good qualities and characteristics. Therefore there are many women around for the picking, why settle for one when you can have five.
Additionally women are discovering that men of every stratum in Jamaica exude the same values and embrace corresponding relational philosophies. Women realized that men were not interested in the formation of solid relational unions but more of a serial monogamy and polyandric relationships. Men visit women and have sexual relations with her in exchange for money. The woman and man are allowed to maintain their single status.
Many women have found this form of relationship satisfying as her economical needs are being satisfied and the relational strings are not attached, offering her freedom to copulate with as many men as possible. This is what I refer to as sanitized prostitution. This lifestyle has lead to a rise in promiscuity among Jamaican young women as they attempt to have sex with as many men as possible to cover the bills.
Men embraced this notion and have begun to regard every woman in the same light. Jamaican men believe that every woman that pursues a relationship with him wants some form of financial return for it. Jamaican women asserted that if you exude love for the man, he will not support you financially but if you pretend to be indifferent you will coerce financial support from him. The idea is that men do not respond to expressions of genuine love because most women do not want affection, they only want money. Women who sincerely want a meaningful relationship find it difficult to convince a man of sincerity. The man will naturally assume that she is pretending, and when she gets into his system, she will unveil her mercenary character. Many women have maintained the stance that most Jamaican men are only interested in sex. Women contended that men do not want affection and resort to using men as financial institution whose only purpose is to improve their economical standings.
I sat down and presented the same questions to an accomplished, financially stabled Mr. Callen. Mr Callen claimed that men have become protective of their hearts because women have been corrupted by other women and a good woman is hard to find. Mr. Callen states that “Women are some of the most, manipulative, selfish, and dangerous people I know”. Mr. Callen attributes women’s power over men due to the fact that women weaken men “it’s not just Jamaica...all over the world....men are stupid when it comes to women”. Mr Callen went on to state that the idea of being married or feeling wholesome with another person is losing its credence. “The danger is when people believe that they need someone to complete them...make them whole”. Another male asserted that Jamaican men need to be cognizant of their needs and wants instead of sexual intemperance. Mr Callen claimed that” very few are enlightened as I am”.
Some social scientists claim that the harsh economical condition of the Jamaican society has caused a shift in relational values. Women are seeking men who will be able to support their children; men are taking advantage of the plenitude of available accomplished women by being promiscuous and unattached. Anthropologically, when resources are scarce, in this case women, the most desirable traits that are portrayed by a woman will win her a partner with equivalent characteristics. There are many women in Jamaica with desirable characteristics, men can choose, play, mislead and refused because there are many more fishes in the sea. Women have to be fighting other women for men. The competitions between females have become intense because so-called good men are few in numbers.
Others have asserted that Jamaican men are anthropogically promiscuous and polygamic based on the ethos that was taught to them via their ancestral African lineage. Jamaican men are culturally inclined to have more than one woman in their life. The capacity to have a myriad of women and to be able to take care of them connotes that a man is financial stable, communally revered by his peers and emulated by younger males. Jamaican men are simply acting out an ancestral trait that is found among Africans and men of African descent.
Jamaican men claim women are only interested in procuring money and not in any form of meaningful, committed profound relationships. Men will force a relationship with a man who is not fervently interested in him by offering her money in return for relations. It is also a shared opinion that a Jamaican man will not spend his money on one woman while he has another woman draining his pocket. At the end of the day, it is not just Jamaican women that gave rise to the validation of money before copulation but equally Jamaican men. Men have contributed to the relational canon by offering women money for relationship. There are young men who are pursuing a car or any apparent artifact that communicates wealth in order to ensnare women into their bedrooms.
Conclusively, what role money plays in a relationship between a Jamaican man and woman? Recently there has been a rise in Jamaican men insisting that in order for them to establish any concrete relationship with any woman she has bring some form of money to the table. There are some men who refuse to have a relationship with a woman, who does not have a job. In other words, women are not the only ones who are saying “no dough, no looove”. There has been a rise in the demand for a woman to bring economical independence to the relationship. To be honest, I think that is an excellent idea for both partners to satisfy the financial needs of the relationship. But should this be the premier criterion for having a relationship? Should money determine what level of relational or sexual interaction, one has with a prospective partner? I would like you to answer that for me!

Are Jamaican Men Insecure

Are Jamaican men insecure?

I was browsing online for some inspirations to this topic before I wrote it. I came across many yahoo and wiki questions on the self assurance, confidence and esteem of Jamaican men. I decided that I will look at the factors behind the insecure and jealous nature of some Jamaican men.
Jamaican men were socialized to believe that when his spouse is dedicated and faithful to him that it is a sign of genuine masculine maturity (in my native tongue “him a de man a yard”). But this is simply one side to the equation as many boys are inculcated to believe largely by social inference that a man’s personality and character principles are not sufficient to get a woman furthermore maintain a relationship. The boys are taught that they need money in order to get a woman. They are indoctrinated to believe that without pecuniary influences a woman will not be interested in them. Most men who are financially well off continue to cement this ideology based on the numerous females that they copulate with and have relations with as oppose to their less financially viable lower class counterparts. Men who have money have a lot of girls while the poor man has a one woman or when he gets a girl. Some less wealthy men have to empty their pockets for sometimes a single night of sexual intercourse with a woman. Young men are encouraged to pursue wealth, materialism and superiority so that women will flock them. Women are encouraged investing in their images to get a man while boys are thought to invest in their abilities and hustle to get a woman.
Women also contribute to this notion. Young girls are taught that a man’s value is determined by the depth of his pocket and his material possession. Women often insult men by insinuating or blatantly telling them that they have fallen short on satisfying the financial needs of the family or union. Young women who chose partners that are less than ideal often face opposition from family members and outright disapproval from society for giving her body to a broke “worthless boy”. Women are very intolerant of unfavorable behavior from less than ideal partners but will stand for abuse and misconducts from wealthy men.
Majority of Jamaican males are semi-literate and hold skilled jobs. A great number of Jamaican men are not very intelligent. The lack of education and access to jobs that will greatly improve their financial status stymie social and economical advancement for most young men and buttress insecure feelings about their worth and place in society. The presence of more wealthy men who are capable of snatching their women away is a great fear for many Jamaican men since many of them lack the social and financial resources that society deems makes them an ideal partner.
These conflicting and competitive factors are the reasons behind the perceived jealous and insecure nature of Jamaican men. This insecurity of Jamaican black men also stems from socio historical factors. During the days of slavery, black women were used and sexually exploited by free mulattos and white men because they had power and money. Many black slaves were wary of involvement with fellow female slaves for fear of losing her to white man. The story of lover’s leap in Jamaica is a prime example of this phenomenon. If a white man discovers that a girl he likes is involved with a fellow male slave, the relationship will be terminated by killing the slave, separating the union by selling the male slave or threats of heinous punishment.
In many cases when a young woman leaves a young man in Jamaica it is often due to finding a man that can offer a better financial support. Jamaican men have very fragile egos especially males from the lower socio-economical class. Many well off men also have self esteem problems as they use arrogance and narcissism to mask their sexual and personal self perceived inadequacies. This is the main factor behind their insecurity and jealousy. Sexual underperformance is a major fear for most Jamaican men.
Jamaican men are jealous because they are afraid of losing their women who they see as extensions of themselves. Once a woman has a relationship with a man they are viewed as one within the society, the wife becomes an extension of the husband. Jamaican men fear infidelity because it would be an indication that they are having relational problems. His image and masculinity will be questioned by the society. His friends might think he has sexual or financial inadequacies and therefore that is why his woman cheated on him.
Jamaican men exudes bout of rage and jealousy as a means of manipulating and controlling their spouse. The female is cowered into submission. Some Jamaican men used threats and violence to manipulate the woman into believing she cannot leave him or cheat on him. When a woman cheats on her man, she is telling the world that he does not have any control over her. She has destroyed the ideals that the Jamaican man may have bragged to his friends. She is indicating to the world that their relationship is not solid. The world will think that her man is either sexually inadequate or financially embarrassed.