“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Saturday, August 30, 2014
When i collated the article "Ten Things Jamaican Men wish Jamaican women knew about Relationships", It was meant to be a satire piece.Most people missed the sarcasm because they were so upset with the suggestions made by these Jamaican men who i will say represent the average Jamaican male. They missed the disclaimer about not all Jamaican men share these views. Let us put this one in bold.
These are the opinions of some Jamaican women and does not reflect the ideologies of all Jamaican women. They are not facts, the article is not meant to conquer or convert but to inspire discussion so we can come at truth. In doing so we will get the facts out.
1. Jamaican women know that when a man says he wants an independent woman, he does not really mean he wants a woman who can complement his financial position. Some women are of the opinion that these men really want a woman to supplement their lives economically. "Them want smady fe mind them". Additionally a Jamaican man will take the "independent woman" money and "mine" some woman who cannot help him. He will take your car and go out with women who cannot buy gas put in it. Jamaican women say that they are wising up to this "con" and are only independent for their own subsistence. They have no intention of "minding" any big man.
2. Women like Oral sex, Women know you like it too. You just do not want your friends to know you like it or do it but the women say that is okay, they will keep the secret for you. Women are open to experimenting with you they are just socialized to see it as indignifying. Women are changing and moving into the twenty first century.
3. When a Jamaican woman says she wants to go on a date. She means she would like to at least go to a social setting where you can have a few drinks and talk, get to know each other. A date is not in your bedroom demanding sex. These men nowadays do not want to date anymore, when they call and ask for you to meet with them, they would like to know straight off the bat if "you ago run some". Some will find some way to postpone the date if they do not hear what they want to.Some women flat out lie and tell them yes. Women say they would like to go on date therefore when a man is 'looking' a woman, please prepare for at least one date. In the dating phase when a woman text, call or Whatsapp you, it is because she likes you. A woman will pursue a man she likes and if he is interested then he is expected to mirror her interest to establish some form of consistency. It does not means she is desperate or she is being clingy. 'She just like you'.
4. If you do not want a baby. Use a condom. Do not ask a woman "how that happen?" when you went horseback riding bareback. If you do not want a child with a woman, use protection and insist that she uses hers so that she is clear on where you stand. A woman can only call your name on the " Jacket" if you went there.
5. When a woman is willing to spend her hard earn money on you, it is not because she is a fool. It is because she loves you and wants you to be happy. If she can afford to she will buy her man anything to make his life convenient so that he can be at his best. There is no greater joy that when the one you love is happy and stress free. When a person is happy, they have more fulfilling relationships. Women in Jamaica and within the diaspora complain that if you "assist" some Jamaican men "they take you for a fool". It is ironic that men do not see themselves as "fools" when they spending thousands of dollar on some chick who sleeps with them every other month.
6. Most women have never had an orgasm. Most men do not have a clue about fulfilling sex. A lot of women stick around because they love you or the idea of you not because of how good you are in the bedroom. Most Jamaican men do not even cuddle, "Slam, Bam, Thank You Madam" The caveman tactics in bed does not always work and men insist that women find creative ways to maximize pleasure and yet they come as they are, thinking that great sex only requires an erect penis. The gist is that a woman can still feel sexually satisfied without an orgasm. Too many men coming into the bedroom with sexual expectations and not bringing any prowess to the bed. Dance hall music convinced our men that their pleasure was more important than female satisfaction. These men will gladly say a 'vagina" was not good when in truth they just lay down on them back expecting great sex.
7. "Old Fire stick easy fe Ketch" Hmmmmm. In some instances that might be not be entirely accurate. Some men feel that because you had sex with them one time then they can always get it from you whenever they like. Women are saying that when they throw water on the fire stick, no amount a gasoline "can make it light back". Some men think that because a woman has a child with him he is still entitled to sex, women are standing their ground. If she broke up with you, she breaks all ties with you.
8. Do not see a woman on the road and harass her. If she is interested she will let you know. A grown man knows when a woman likes him from when she does not. Do not think you can convince her to like you by harassing her with "Pssssst", insulting her or manhandling her in public. She will hate you with a passion and you ruin any chances you might ever have with her.
9. Men will insist that a woman keeps up her physical appearance and yet he will gain weight, grow his hair and facial hair without any complains from his partner. Women are saying men should try to keep in shape and maintain physique. Women do not like the beer belly but a woman loves differently from man. She will stay with him if he has eighty percent of what she needs and in (a Jamaican man case, if he has fifty percent of what she needs in a relationship), some women settle for far less. Men on the other hand want perfection well women are saying they want men with an impeccable body including a good size penis, good job, money and the whole works. Women might settle but they want an ideal man too. They want the mills and Boon's husband with his Fortune Five Hundred Job, Rolls Royce parked in front of his Mansion somewhere beside a Lake.
10. Women want help in the home. It does not emasculate you to assist with the chores. Doing chores together creates an opportunity for bonding and some good reasoning. You are not less of man if you assist with washing the clothes, ironing and cooking. Do not believe what your friends say about you being " Boy a yard". Women adore men who help out in the home, spending time with children, assisting with homework and watching television together.
11. What men call "nagging" is a woman's way of showing she cares about you or that she is concerned . She is not trying to upset you, she merely needs reassurance. If she stops "nagging" you: do not think that she got the message, she might have found your replacement. If you do not want her, just put her out onto the streets and you will be surprised at the number of men who would be interested in her. Do not think that because a woman might look "pop down" that another man won't want her and you can treat her badly. What you are not willing to do, some other man will.
12.We are in a relationship with you and not with your friends or your family members. It is full time men learn how to tell their mothers, sisters and female cousins to respect their partners even if they do not like them. Friends who are still bachelors must learn to respect their male friends who are in a relationship. Please tell your friends do not show up at late hours of the night asking you to go clubbing when they know that you are now a family man. A man has to compromise in a relationship just as he expects a female to make sacrifices. A lot of men will insist that an in-law that they do not like does not come around his house and yet his family visit whenever are sometimes disrespectful to their partners. A man will demand that his wife does not maintain friendship with women of questionable character and yet he keeps his promiscuous male friends and goes out with them on a regular basis. Women are saying cut the double standard.
Name some other points you think Jamaican men should know about women and relationships!
Quote :“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie"
Friday, August 29, 2014
1. Get rid of fake friends. Get people who you have to “fake” around in order to feel accepted out of your life. Anyone whose presence makes you feel uncomfortable or small maybe giving off negative energy towards you, what you pick up on is definitely their vibe. If you are an empath, someone who can read other people’s energies then their bad vibes will come at you, full force and full circle.
2. Avoid situations that make you feel less than your best. If you do not like a particular club, faction or group then avoid them. The less you see them, the better off you will be.
3. Cut your social media activity. Sometimes you do not want to see the negative shit people post on Facebook, so do what i do and delete them or simply deactivate your account.
4. Avoid family members that you have to be constantly proving yourself to. Not because they are related to you or you share blood it means that you will always get along. Relatives have differing personalities. So if you and a family do not get along, avoid them, don’t add them on Facebook.
5. Declutter your life by throwing away old things, old clothes, old furnitures and old books you no longer read, give them to the library. Like a tree from time to time you have prune your leaves and grow afresh.
6. Holding on to toxic people is like having a gangrene arm and refusing to cut it off. If you do not get rid of them they will eventually kill you like the gangrene that will spread to to rest of your body.
7. Quit your dead end job. If your job is stressing you need to leave it. There is nothing crippling than a bad working environment, it can choke the ambition and creativity out of you.
8. Get rid of the partner that makes you unhappy. If your love life depresses you, stresses you and make you angry all the time then it is time to move on with your life.
9. Change the food you eat. You will be surprised at how a change of diet can lift your spirit. Sometimes all that junk food can add junk to your life.
10. Exercise, take a walk, enjoy a nature trail. Smell the roses and drink from a stream, bathe in a river. Do some wild, fun, spontaneous that makes you catch your breath and breathe life into your existence.
Read more: http://gameolosophy.com/games/sports/total-club-manager/ten-ways-to-detox-your-life/#ixzz3BqOkhGCj
Now people are writing about what other’s are posting. You do not like what is being posted you can choose not to have that person’s post appear on your timeline by:
1) Unfriending them. You do not like to see a person’s post, then taking them off your list is your best but some of us won’t do that because we are simply too nosy.
2) When post comes up on your Facebook feed, there is a little an option beside a post. You click it and you will see this comes up. See image below.
There are several options there. You can choose to hide all post from that person, You can unfollow that individual, You can click the “I don’t want to see this post” option. You do not have to do a generic blast. You do not want to see it, Facebook creates a moderation tool where you can choose what to see on your timeline. You do not go telling people what to post on their page.
3. You can add this person to your restricted friend’s list. Facebook is not owned by anyone person therefore there should not be any policing of post. Yes there are standards but people should exercise their right to post whatever they want on their page.
4. You can delete yourself off Facebook or deactivate your profile. Save yourself the resentment of posting a status that makes other people think that you are talking about them. Social Media has bred this new specie of narcissism where everyone thinks that their opinions count and want to tell others how to live their lives. I save my opinions for my blog. When you read what i write, you basically was given a choice. You don’t have it running down your newsfeed.
Read more: http://authspot.com/thoughts/facebook-now-has-postmasters-and-postmistresses/
"Sometimes a change of self is needed more than a change of scene"
Kanye West posited that “even in you are in a suit and in benz” you are liable to be percieved as a career criminal first than anything else. Do not think it is just white people who think like this but also, blacks who are accustom to overwhelming failure within our ranks that we believe the only way out has to be going on a path to destruction. It maybe because we measure success using rather high ideals. It does not matter how much you have accomplished in your individual struggles or life, your success is disregard if it is not materialised in dollars and cents. In other words if you are not driving some high end vehicle and flossing in the club then your success is disregarded.
I know a lot of men in my small black community see succcess as the ability to put food on their table. Therefore these men will plant ground provisions in the hills or bushy area so that they will have yams, banana and vegetables to sell to people like me. I support them for i know that they just want food on their table.
Our young black men have a different idea of what successs should be. They want to be superstars. They want to live like Lil Wayne and Chris Brown. Nothing is wrong with wanting to be a famous millionaire, it is just that these boys want it now. They want it overnight. They want a lottery kinda success and this is what gets them into trouble.
It is a serious issue since our young men lack with the resources and opportunities to become their aspirations and emulate their idols often turn to other less noble means. A lot of black people are offended by the academical success of their peers and yet easily celebrate the sudden acquired rich status of those within their cache. I have seen it a dozen times, “hype” people getting more attention and recognition than those who are working hard to pave the way for our advancement
Coming out of slavery, these western societies did not prepare for the freedom and advancement of a black nation or its citizenry. Blacks were not initially expected to become a success but to be chained to the subservience and indignity they were originally brought to the Americas for. We are expected to fail from the get go for we are children of the soil. We have to get pass our past and become united for our betterment.
This is where they tricked us they have us competing among ourselves instead of converging for the success of our race like the Asians and the Caucasians. Too many of us are invested in a perpetual need to be accepted by those at the top and we go about it the wrong way and thus have changed what true success is in the grand scheme of things really is. We neeed to find a way to merge our aspirations, build and foster success so that we no longer associate success with criminality.
"The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off"
Read more: http://socyberty.com/issues/how-success-among-black-people-is-perceived/
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Are you a wannabe? What makes one a Wannabee? Wannabees are often considered a fake representation of the real shit. People say you are not authentic, you are trying to become something that you are not (as yet) and they feel you should adapt their version of who you are until they determine that you have reached that ideal place deserving of the accolades, regards and awards that you seek.
You cannot knock someone for wanting to be better, for evolving and seeking a higher placement in life, people hate wannabees because they hate their will to think grander of themselves and feeling they deserve to be successful and famous. I am a wannabeee. I want to be rich and famous. You should try that too.
You should try aiming for self betterment, not just pretending but creating opportunities to make it happen, It is fatalistic to pretend to be something that you are not while not making any efforts or working towards becoming whom you envision yourself to be, a higher version of yourself.
”Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.”
Read more in Society
« Create Your Own Society
Wannabees need motivation. Instead of reminding them of what they are not, why not help them become their ether self by giving support.
Read more: http://socyberty.com/society/i-am-a-wannabee-i-want-to-be-rich-you-should-try-it-too/#ixzz3BcxUsEoZ
A lot of women say that they want a good man, a lot of female family members will say that their male relatives deserve a better woman. My question has always been if you think people deserve better in their relationships? Are you giving your best in yours? Are you a good woman or a good man! most of us are deluded, we want better for ourselves and yet we end up losing out for we fail to be better for someone else. Makes sense doesnt it.
Read more: http://gomestic.com/personal-finance/women-say-they-want-a-good-man-are-you-a-good-woman/#ixzz3BXXDtqwE
I was talking to a girlfriend last night who said that she wanted a Good man. I asked her if she thought she was a good woman. I picked up on several deficiencies that men might consider if they were ever going to take her seriously. We want the best people for our lives but are we working at bettering ourselves? I think that is one of the biggest problems we have and that is we want what we might not in the grand scheme of things truly deserve.
So many women want to qualify for Alpha males, rich men, successful men and popular men and yet want to come as they are and be accepted. There is nothing wrong with that but in reality, this world is competitive and there will always be people better or greater than you. Thus the emphasis on evolution, you must be in a constant state of improving yourself. Not that a banker won’t date a fast food worker providing that she is physically attractive and in so being that would be the exception to the rule and not the rule.
A lot of in laws are judgemental of the choices of their family members. They may believe that their sons or daughters deserve better but are they the best choices for their individual partners? Are the people who they idealize as the choice for their partners even interested in being with them. People want better but not doing anything to put themselves in positions to receive the best.
Read more in Personal Finance
« Wseplegal.co.uk Talks About Will Writing in MidlandsMr Right vs. Mr Right Now »
Are we deserving of what it is that we seek in others, whether it be relationships or friendships. We hold people at higher ideal standards that we do ourselves, maybe we need to be more introspective and think about what we have been putting out, maybe therein lies the reason we have not been getting back the results that we desire. We might want better for ourselves but are we even good enough for the people that we want in our lives.
Read more: http://gomestic.com/personal-finance/women-say-they-want-a-good-man-are-you-a-good-woman/#ixzz3BXX4iL72
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Draft from New Book
Ghetto Slam Draft
Copywritten so dont copy me
Copyright Crystal Evans 2014
The sweet melody of dance hall music emanated from Strawberry Hill and the slender bodies of females strew the sidewalks, faces dolled up, animated, scanning the promenading vehicles for a companion for the night. In these streets girls treated sex like a handshake and men were only interested in getting ahead in life, literally. Bitches readily exchanged tongue titillation for five thousand dollar platforms. For the right price, girls would be in love. Iggy Azaela best called it Head over Heels.
Popular men stood at the bar and cliques of female a few feet apart orchestrated stealth espionage on the latest money prey. The brave one even in the face of uncertainity will strut over, sticking her ass out for a boss chick knows how to flirt without ever making herself appear desperate or easy. These Niggas might not have degrees in human behaviour but they can spot a thirsty chick from a mile off. Some niggas are slow and you sometimes have to dangle your vagina before them for them to get the hint, then if he is stupid he will lap that shit up like Hennessy.
If a nigga has money, good social clout and great reference on his dick game then even the bossiest of chicks will wait her turn. She will express her interest, give a little and retain some for to make a nigga know you going crazy over his dick even when "it a mad you" is relationship suicide. Some girls get this game of tangle free relationships, others basically go to the Dance Hall to drool, lining up to give some undeserving nigga head. They show up for every pot cover that knocked, pouting lips,rubbing their nipples on outstretch hands and touching men's shoulders to test it's strength, thinking about how these dude's penis must hang between their legs rocking to and fro like a pendulum.
You couldn't keep a man tuned into you if you were not talking about sex. Men were concerned with two things, sex and money. If you were not offering either then you might as well waltz over to where the other wallflowers stood, ogling the assortment of men in matching abercombie slippers.
Ghetto Slam is not primarily about sex, it the ambiance of the sexual scenario, an unleashing of sexual energy. It is carnal and torrid, as provocative as the Wimbledon movement Popcaan discussed in his Fall In Love tune. Wimbledon was that jerking of the ass, rapid shuffling of the buttocks against a man in the doggy style position.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Here are five qualities the other woman who becomes a wife has that greatly boost her status from being the girl on the side to his number chick. Remember the man who cheats on his partner for you might be inclined to do the same thing to you. More so the mistress who becomes a wife, leaves a vacancy for another woman to fill.
If he is sleeping with you and not with her then at least make the few moments he spends with you be worthwhile. Do not be harassing him, nagging him and complaining. Chances are he is already dealing with that at home. When he comes to you, he needs to feel relaxed. It might sound offensive but side chicks are often respite for some men who want to get away from the routine of their lives and do something adventurous and risque.
Transparency is the name of the game. Listen he knows that he is already committed to someone else but he also needs to know that he can trust you with his life. Which means you are expected to understand your place when it comes to him. It means you will not cause him trouble with his “routine life” such as calling him at home or on holidays, or late at nights. Cool indifference with a lovemaking is the side chick weaponry. Men hate display of insecurities.
Do not bring any drama into his life. The worst thing you can do is try to fight your way into the number one spot by confronting his wife or blackmailing him. He will drop you faster than a bad habit. Men in relationships only leave their partners if their sidepiece are considered an upgrade like the Ghost and Angela situation in Starz Series Power. A sensible man will not leave the frying pant for a tumble in the fire.
Do not get your hopes up for a permanent relationship. It will make you do crazy things. Do not assume that because he buys you nice things and he is available when you call that you are his A game. He is giving someone else less attention so he can sugarcoat you and keep you committed to him while he goes back to his other life.
One of the ways a side chick can keep her head levelled is by working, doing something for herself. It will add points to her self esteem and she might decide that she is worth being a husband than someone side piece. A good main chick or down low side chick knows when to call it quits. If you feel yourself slipping and realize that you are in deep waters then it may be time to walk away. No not confront him, walk away. If you find yourself stalking him on facebook, watching the phone, daydreaming about him suddenly leaving her for you then those are serious red flags that you need to get out and get some counselling.
It is not that a Beta male or an Omega cannot steal a girl’s heart but women swoon when alpha males come into a room. Some men are simply made to dominate and look good by way of social maneuvering even in a simple white Tees.
Although Alpha males can have the attention span of a testostorone driven thirteen year old boy, women know Alpha are the top ranking men to choose when dating. It is what fuels the male within the ghetto community who is a gangster to get his choice of women because he is also an Alpha in his own right as is the ceo of a fortune five hundred company. Alpha’s are men who naturally lead their packs. If he has several friends, he is recognized as being one of or the only leader of the group.
Men who are considered Alphas do not need to hunt mates since women naturally offer themselves to them. There is nothing the human female admires than a man who stands tall above other men. It is apart of our nature to be attracted to men who lead their group of friends or those who stand out.
It is difficult to resist the allure of the alpha male particularly because he rarely does anything to impress a female. She is drawn to him for being himself and it is a quiet, compelling energy that draws you into. Alpha males are irressistible, naturally.
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Download the kOBO App and read free preview of the book.
I was halfway on my journey when a hand grabbed my elbow from the forestry side of the trail, I screamed and he clamped his hand over my mouth.
“ Eh gyal a wah happen you? You a ediat? You want wake up the whole community?”
He released me and lighted a piece of scliff fixed between his pink lips. “ Come on no or you change your mind?” He put on weight, the hoodie made him look bigger but his belly was getting huge, he was looking at me with those intense dark eyes. You could get lost in those licorice pools.
I trudged alongside him and he kept his hands in his hoodie pocket. “ How you a move like you fraid so?”
I laughed. “ It is the middle of the night plus your lifestyle is very high risk so I have to be afraid”
He chuckled. “ No fraid inna you own area? Nobody can’t diss my link. You no see how mi big. You think me fraid a people”
“ Bullet cut bigger than you and me down to size”
The moon was big and round, it cast shadows upon us from the surrounding trees. It rained earlier and the ground was wet and the air fresh. It was the most romantic walk of my life and I wished it would last forever. Just me and my boo alone in the world beneath the moonlight and the stars. We approached his house and he asked me to walk behind him. He opened the backdoor and ushered me inside. His room was as I remembered it, bed neatly spread, air condition unit low, plasma Tv on Cable Channel and a couple Abercrombie shirts with tags on the bed. He sat on the bed and looked up at me. I slept in this room several nights before but now I felt like a stranger particularly since he had recently invited someone else into our bed. I did not feel as if I belonged there anymore.
He touched the pad on the side of his phone with his thumb several times and placed the phone under his pillow. He removed the hoodie to reveal a trimmed, twisted hairstyle. “What happen?”
He stood up and I was peering up at his face. He must have gotten a foot taller or maybe it was the platform wallabees on his feet that added a few inches to his height. He trailed my eyes and immediately took his shoe off and kicked them underneath the bed. He licked his lips and began massaging my belly in circular movements. I was scared. “What you a do?”
A lazy smile played on his lips. He was melting my defenses. “Me want water the baby head”
I gently slapped his hand away and sat on the bed. “Me can’t play with you again? Through me nah drive Honda. Memba say me use to have one so if a Honda you want, you can get it”
His eyes narrowed into dark slits. I giggled unable to contain myself. He had a vicious sense of humour. He would tell you a joke without as much as a grin and that added greater impact to its effect. I was enjoying myself and he looked dead serious.
“Is a laughing thing you take this fah” He demanded, the corners of his lips twitched.
I was madly in love with this man. “No.”
He said in a husky voice, barely audible. “Take off your clothes make me see your new sexy shape!”. My skin tingled and I undressed for him to see. He smiled and rubbed his hands, a pasty complexion brought on by the bleaching over my distended abdomen. “ You never know say baby mother shape a the sexiest shape?”
He stifled my giggles with a saccharine kiss. Oh how I loved this man. The gangsta who kissed, it couldn’t get any better than that. I felt loved and I was happy again. Happier than I had been in months. I gave myself to him and he took me to places only he could for he was the love of my life and he could do no wrong in my eyes.
My belly growled and I looked up at his face etched with concern. “You hungry” He asked in a low tone.
I nodded, afraid that words would damage this wonderful moment. He swung his feet to the floor in one smooth motion, naked as the day he was born. He quickly pulled up his underpants and disappeared into the kitchen.
I heard a click and then the burr of the microwave. Two minutes later, he was standing over me with a tray. On it was KFC chicken, a small dish of rice and peas and a glass of orange juice. I ate the food quickly and he sat alongside the bed with his head hung. He picked up his pants and hoodie, he got dressed and I wished I had not ate my food with such alacrity for I sensed our night had come to an end.
He spoke. “Hurry up make me follow you back before you people them miss you.”
I slammed the fork on the tray and almost sailed it onto the bed. What the hell did he think he was doing? He boomed. “That’s why you see me can’t deal with you and your style. We make a little move and you start gwaan with your foolishness”
I dressed quickly, trying to fight back the tears that threaten to flood my face. He sat on the bed, shoulders slouched. I got dressed and stood looking at him with his shoulder slumped, deep in thought. He looked up at me; lips slightly opened and pinched my cheeks. I shrugged his hands off and he got up and strolled towards the backdoor.
“Where is your Van?
He pointed to the side of the house and I saw the grill on the front of Vitara glistened in the moonlight.
“You will be okay coming back by yourself?”
He gave me a boyish grin and his eyes lit up by the match he stroke so that I could see his features. “Look pon me face. Me look like smady weh fraid to you?”
I dialed my sister’s number but it rang without an answer.
“You sister not answering?”
I shook my head and a text message came in.
He queried. “ A she that?”
“Yes she say the back door open”
He stood half way in the path and ushered me on with a peck on the forehead. “ When you reach in text me or call me make me know what a gwaan?”
I hurried onto the road and when I reached the street light, I spun around for I felt eyes on me and he was standing in the middle of the road watching me saunter through my gate. I smiled for I thought he had gone back to his place. I was happy to be home but I worried for his safety for he was going back through the bushes alone. I climbed the steps and an angry male voice resonated. “ A weh you think you a go? Gwaan back a you man yard. You is a worthless gyal. Tommorrow take your things them and gwaan up a your mother cause this kind of lifestyle won’t work here. You turning into a little slut. Gwaan back weh you a come from.”
I turned back and sprinted out the yard. My father was crazy if he thought he could hurt me by sending me away, they were the sweetest words to my ear. I reached the shortcut in record time to see Jerr walking hurriedly, hugging himself through the dew wet grass. I shouted “Jerr!!!!”and he spun around, I hurried to him and his facial muscles were tensed. His eyes blazed. “ A wah happen?”
I shuddered for I was cold and tired, I needed a warm bed. “My father say me must gwaan back weh me a come from.”
He kicked at the grass. “My girl you can’t sleep a me yard. You can’t stay with me cause me have a new woman and she pregnant”
My eyes burnt. “What you trying to say? So me anno you baby mother?”
He plodded the trek in the cold night and I knew he was angry because he mumbled expletives long from here to Spanish Town.
He fumbled with the backdoor key and when the door opened, he held it ajar so that I could go inside. His eyes shot daggers at me like he did earlier that day. He was upset. I crawled into bed in my blouse and turned my back to him. I cried in the pillow and he cleared his throat. I knew he heard my sobs for he let out another string of profanities. I didn’t know when I fell asleep but it was still dark when he woke me up. He threw my pants on me on the bed. “ Yow you haffi leave before daylight cause me people them don’t want see me and you together”
I pulled my pants up and sat down to put my slippers on when I realized that one foot ‘pop out’. He held me up underneath my arms and forcibly shoved me through the backdoor. I held up my broken slipper in my hand and he slammed the door in my face. I stood out there for a few minutes then made my way down the shortcut for I did not want people to see me walking bare feet this early in the morning.
Thursday, August 14, 2014
In some cases it appears beating is some type of foreplay, a precursor to sex. After the fighting and “tumble down” , a passionate night of lovemaking ensues, tommorrow morning they tight as biscuit. You woulda never know a fight took place a few hours ago.
Most women cannot get these men to pay them any adequate amount of attention and therefore they provoke them into giving them a beating. After the fight, the male may rue the altercation and becomes loving and attentive until he gets bored of her.
That is just one theory i offered in my book. Here is another presented by a blogger. “ Jamaican women won’t give you the ” wuk “without a reference, lol, they want other women to want you but they don’t actually want to see you with one. The key to getting any woman to fall in love with you is cool indifference with a tups a tenderness… lol a lie..!!”. It may have some truth to it since most of these beatings are often over some infidelity she assumed he committed for which he would rather beat her to accept his version of events than fest up to.
The beating often involves some levels of threats and promise of more assaults if she decides to leave the relationship. The female is then reassured that he loves her and will calm down. Next time she might go at the mistress instead of the man who has convinced her that he loves her and is only unable to resist the sexual lure of a disloyal female who keeps waving her goodies at him.
Most women do not necessarily endorse the “murderation”. But the male uses it to cower the female into submission. He affectionately calls it a “touch up”. He will brag to his friends about how he has to give his girlfriend her weekly “touch up” so she will learn to behave herself and love him more.
It is unclear how they bond during this beating phase but the male becomes empowered by the wailing sounds of the woman while onlookers murmur among themselves, some men might intervene when the situation becomes disgraceful. Most elders declined intervention citing that if you intercieve, tommorrow morning she is back with him therefore it is futile. Let them fight out their frustrations and work on their relationships until they get tire of each other.
It is clear the young women have a distorted notion of what a healthy relationship is. This may be due to lessons they inherited from their mother who tolerated abusive relationships, unknowing giving rise to a flawed perception that it is okay to be in a relationship with a man who verbally abuses her.
Lack of denouncement among other members of society might encourage this behaviour among young men since most men within the cultural nucleus especially those of lower socio-economical class, have no hiccups against “touching up their women”.
Read more: http://healthmad.com/women/why-jamaican-young-women-love-men-who-beat-them/
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Read more: http://gomestic.com/personal-finance/letting-go-of-toxic-people-and-relationships/
Some people are gangrous, if you do not cut them off then they will rot your entire body. It is better to lose a hand with gangrene than to lose your self. Cut those people off now!
Decluttering your life might seem like a drastic move but you will realize how much freer you feel when you do it. You can breathe better and have more fun at events when these people are not around to cloud your sunny mood.
Read more: http://gomestic.com/personal-finance/letting-go-of-toxic-people-and-relationships/
Exposing how you genuinely feel too early can destroy your relationship. Men don’t say it but they can spot trouble, a mile away and most dudes normally run for their lives.
Made an odd observation in your date such as behaviour or attitude, it might be best to call him out for being on-line and not responding to your message on whats app but the truth is, it is best to ignore him like he did you. a few days or weeks he will realize that he never responded to your message and drop a causal hi. By then you probably won’t remember anything. It is good to be in the know but a boss chick knows how to dig and when to start digging and where.
If he does not call, do not call him. You will feel worst if he does not call you back or phone rings without an answer. If you think calling him will allay your misgivings, it is often temporary and as soon as he hangs up, you are back to obsessing over when he will call again and if he will. By the way when you call him, he still has not called you. You are still a man down in this chess game.
Read more in Personal Finance
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Have sex because you want and not because you are giving it and expecting something in return.It is one thing to sleep with a man in hopes of a commitment and another to have sex because you like it. If you do not think he is worth the “wait” of your vagina, then you should not give him any. He will take all your gifts and since you already indicated that you are charitable, expecting nothing in return then so it shall be.
Do not become committed to a non relationship. Do not fantasize over a man you are not sure is entirely with you. Do not stock all your chips in someone who is not committed to you and has not indicated that he wants you to be exclusive.You are setting yourself up for heartbreak if you start boasting about a man you are not sure where you stand with him. Be realistic.
Read more: http://gomestic.com/personal-finance/five-uncomfortable-but-real-tactics-to-prevent-heartache-when-dating/
Appearances mean everything. Pretty people get taken at face value whilst Ugly or Average looking individuals have to transform themselves so that they can be taken seriously. They often develop rather interesting personalities that is aimed at relaying positive energy when they are around strangers and people they are interested in. The Ugly person learns that what looks good and what feels good are two different things.
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When you are younger looks is everything but most people as they mature, their relationship values change and they start to look for other qualities than beauty in a prospective partner. Not all pretty people have bad personalities and not all ugly people exhibit a good disposition. The thing is to find someone that you can live with and who shares your mutual feelings.
People are largely attracted to those with a sense of humour, people who have genuine qualities and who are fiercely committed to improving themselves. You cannot change who you are and it is only natural that some people will not like you and you will be attracted to them. You cannot force someone into making you their type. If you are good enough for them then they should discover that on their own. You should not have to tell them about it.
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Work what you have. That is the way you were born, You cannot do anything about it at least if you do not have the money. People do not fall in love with how smart you are, but those who fall in love with looks are often very disappointed.
We need more kind people. Someone to check up on us when we make a post that we are feeling sick. The world has become unfeeling to the point that even a random concern by a stranger is treated as an anomaly. People get paranoid and scared if you are overly kind to them without knowing them. It is for this reaoson too that our relationships have gone awry. We need to get back to the core of our associations. Image is great but it not everything. A great image can be clean clothes, groomed hair and healthy skin, not the most aesthetic face.
Read more: http://gomestic.com/personal-finance/what-factors-most-when-dating-looks-or-personality-3/
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Jesus had "Generation of Vipers"
We have "Generation of Parasites"
Those who think you owe them something; that they gave you money to put down; that you have a money tree round the back a your yard; like toddlers on Mama's titty, Mama tired or sleepy or sick, but they don't care; they just want them titty
That your sole purpose in life is to give them what they want .. because while you were doing dirty jobs to pay your rent and school fees and studying till 3- 4 am, they were running around like ram kids, making noise, breeding, smoking weed and having a good time .. So it's now your job to help them out
And would you believe these leeches try to put you on a guilt trip if you tell them to "Go fly a kite"?
Do I sound angry to you?
I read on a couple forums this morning where intellectual Jamaicans are complaining about our state of affairs.I want to see what we are doing about it. I am just tired of all the complaining and everybody just wash them hand off Jamaica and run gone somewhere else gone build up other people country and only take credit when Usain Bolt win some race. Its hypocrisy. Its not just the politicians who are responsible for this island here. We are too. Just imagine if we had some people live a fahrin like the chineese them weh live here who send back all a them money go back a chiney go build it up, we woulda have a better Jamaica. Every body come here come invest in Jamaica excepts Jamaicans. Despite the high crime rate and ray ray while all them chiney a come open shops in our " volatile" communities? The media keeps brainwashing you people. I am not saying crime aint real and that we do not have a serious problem with how we as a people handle our conflicts. I would be a hypocrite if i ever said that but mi a say independence fe wah?.
Everybody a come invest in Jamaica. Why not the six million who live in the diaspora? Instead them make families from Asia use our politicians as puppets while the native Jamaican only have a voting power. You know how many times people have asked me why i don't leave Jamaica, they say someone as brilliant as me need to live a fahrin, instead of staying down here with the bad people and putting my life in jeopardy. But of course half of the people telling me that won't buy me a ticket.
You know i remember when i was around twenty and everyday i walk down the street, somebody would ask me why mi not going to college as if college was like taking a taxi go down the road. None of these persons have ever offered me money to go to college. Just think about it. If all of them gave me a thousand dollars, i would probably reach, not that sending me to school is their responsibility but since they feel responsible enough to comment on my "state of affairs" then they should also be in a position to effect change.
Independent fe wah? The only thing we independent of is responsibility. Everybody blaming each other, spending too much time a watch one anneda, this big ole competition and making small progress that don't benefit the masses on a whole. Everything for us Jamaican has always been about keeping up impressions that making any considerable progress. Well it needs to stop now China ago soon own yah and independence will be something my great grand children tell their children as bed time stories. We soon nuh have no independence fe chat bout cuz at this rate we heading for bankruptcy.
This is another Message written by blogger?
52 years marked the era over which we have achieved self governance,being a young nation, we are far from achieving our full potential,but as a people we have made this Island a unique Nation with our Music, culture, Sports and hospitality, our in differences are sharp at times and our responses firm, still we rally as one people. this synergy make us truly the most democratic nation on earth, our freedom of expression and freedom of association is uncompared, let us tomarrow think on the sacrifices of our ancestors and create and even greater nation for our future generation,. We know the problems and we have the solutions, only collectively can we embrace and each other, work together and pull through all difficult times. we are a resilient people' Tomorrow instead of partying at the beach or else where, lets take the opportunity to reach out to our sisters and brothers and bring back the love, lets truly celebrate independence with giving. Have a wonderful Jamaica Independence Day.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Sunday, August 3, 2014
I will not be held responsible for breaking up another woman’s marriage. I will never insert myself into a relationship involving children. I will not put another woman through something that I would not want someone to put me through. It is not because I feel sorry for her but because I love myself and respect my body and heart enough to walk away irrespective of how I may feel about him. It is a show of maturity and strength.
Have you met someone that you are deeply interested in only to discover that he is in a very committed relationship? It can be quite distressing to know that your chances of being with this person is greatly eclipse by your own feelings guilt and a pricking conscience telling you to walk away from this situation.
Some women are however embolden by the idea of dating or stealing some other woman’s man. If you meet a man who recently had a baby with his girlfriend then that should be your cue to walk away, you do not even need for him to be married, as long as he is in steady relationship, then you should not be the one to tempt him into cheating.
Not that things cannot change, maybe overtime he will grow out of love for her and consider starting a relationship with you but you cannot make it easier for him by enduring the emotional brunt of the relationship while he has his cake and eat it.
No self respecting woman is going to enjoy sleeping with another woman’s husband with no indication of future commitment. In his mind he is often using you and he assumes you consent to being used since you already know that he is committed to someone else. You cannot make any demands on his time and he might never make you number one. A lot of times men leave their spouses and instead of marrying their mistresses, they end up in some other woman’s arm.
I will not be held responsible for breaking up another woman’s marriage. I will never insert myself into a relationship involving children. I will not put another woman through something that i would not want someone to put me through. It is not because i feel sorry for her but because i love myself and respect my body and heart enough to walk away irrespective of how i may feel about him. It is a show of maturity and strength.
Women do not have any sense of bonding and it is this notion of competition that forbids many of us from thinking twice about sleeping with some other woman’s man. A lot of times these guys don’t want a new partner, they simply need a novel experience,, a transient high and when things get rough or serious, they revert back to their familiar grounds.