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“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie



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Sunday, August 10, 2014

Five Uncomfortable but real tactics to prevent heartache when dating!

I have a rule for the guy you meet on Facebook and it is simple. If a dude does not text you, do not text him. If the man is not online, do not leave messages for him, he will think you singled him out for contact and might see it as some form of desperation or stalking. The more you act cool, the greater power you have over how he perceives you. You already know how you feel about him, he does not have to.

Exposing how you genuinely feel too early can destroy your relationship. Men don’t say it but they can spot trouble, a mile away and most dudes normally run for their lives.

Made an odd observation in your date such as behaviour or attitude, it might be best to call him out for being on-line and not responding to your message on whats app but the truth is, it is best to ignore him like he did you. a few days or weeks he will realize that he never responded to your message and drop a causal hi. By then you probably won’t remember anything. It is good to be in the know but a boss chick knows how to dig and when to start digging and where.

If he does not call, do not call him. You will feel worst if he does not call you back or phone rings without an answer. If you think calling him will allay your misgivings, it is often temporary and as soon as he hangs up, you are back to obsessing over when he will call again and if he will. By the way when you call him, he still has not called you. You are still a man down in this chess game.

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Have sex because you want and not because you are giving it and expecting something in return.It is one thing to sleep with a man in hopes of a commitment and another to have sex because you like it. If you do not think he is worth the “wait” of your vagina, then you should not give him any. He will take all your gifts and since you already indicated that you are charitable, expecting nothing in return then so it shall be.

Do not become committed to a non relationship. Do not fantasize over a man you are not sure is entirely with you. Do not stock all your chips in someone who is not committed to you and has not indicated that he wants you to be exclusive.You are setting yourself up for heartbreak if you start boasting about a man you are not sure where you stand with him. Be realistic.

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