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“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

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Thursday, July 10, 2014

The Fairy Tale Complex Women




The Ideal Man- often financially secure, popular, attractive, desired by many, bedded by a chosen few, committed to one, chased my ratchets.  Has a lot of social clout therefore association enhances social experiences. 

Wife- The lady that is recognized by all and sunder as the leading lady in the ideal man's life. She is often the mother of his children, wears his ring, share bank accounts and expenditures. Wives drive his cars and don't duck in the front seat or get picked up on dark, shady back roads. Wives are invited to business meetings, society functions and promotional banquets. She is the only partner respected in certain quarters of the ideal man life. All other women are transitory, on the back burner. He spends holidays with her, Christmas and valentines day. 

Stalker- Girl who is in love with the ideal man but excluded from the centerfold of his life due to a sour relationship or bad break up. Stalker is still in love with the ideal man. She will remain detach from him but keep an update on his life. She may or may not try to contact him. The stalker spends every waking hour daydreaming about what was or what is supposed to be. 

Jilted Lover- The woman the ideal man leaves without any warning or reason. She's still in love with him because she desires closure and hopes to find a basis for the break up or an opportunity to reconcile. The jilted lover is a woman with a frazzled emotional state, she spends hours combing through the last days leading up to the end of the relationship trying to pinpoint where she might have gone wrong. The ideal man often abruptly halts communication with her and she is too embarrassed or weak to confront him for fear of further rebuff. She hangs on to a miserable hope that since there was no 'bloodletting' during the break up that there may still be hope for a reconnection. 

Fallback Girl-  The ideal
Man has a girl that he can always count on to be willing to take him back no matter. She is saving herself for the her seasonal lover who comes around only when he wants to get away from other issues in his life. She is perennially single, saving herself in hopes that the ideal man will stay this time when he comes around. The Fall Back girl is more often than not an ex girlfriend, teenage lover or a girl whom the ideal man cares deeply for but does cannot commit to her. The reasons for keeping the fall back girl in reserve ranges from wanting something more to public humiliation if the relationship should graduate to permanency.  You know you are a Fall back girl if he dumps you every time he meets someone new or when his current girlfriend dumps him.  You are his just in case lover, just in case things don't work out with her then I will commit to you. The fall back girl might feel comfortable knowing that she always has a space in his heart not knowing that if he should find his ideal female then he would have no need for her. The fall back girl
Is a little better off than the Fucka Gyal because she has permanent role in his life. 

The Mistress-  The mistress is the woman that a man has an ongoing relationship with outside of his marriage or common law union. This relationship may or may not be public and in most cases the man maintains his roles and responsibilities as a committed partner with his mistress as he does with his wife. This may or may not include paying her bills and insisting that she remains committed to him albeit he is already dedicated to someone else. The mistress may or may not have children for him. A typical mistress is often single, younger without children, college student or young professional. The ideal man sometimes replaces his wife with his mistress. Round of applause for all the side chicks committed to another girl's man. 

Fucka Gyal- has not position but the one she applies in some cheap motel bed. She's good for sex and only that, it is not even a friends with benefit situation. The ideal
man does not recognize her in social settings, he calls her when he runs out of options or when he needs a non-demanding sexual partner. A woman in this type of girlfriend situation does get promoted to mistress or wifey in rare instances. But a sex partner never really graduates from being just someone the ideal man sleeps with on the down low or when he wants to get freak on. Fucka gyal has no title therefore enjoys little if any benefits. You are a Fucka gyal if you are sleeping with a man who has not acknowledge a relationship with you. He doesn't buy you clothes, pay your bills or buy groceries. You often have to sleep with other men to buy clothes so that you can go out with him. He is the only one benefitting from the relationship and your hope for better days is as strong as a cobweb that it frustrates you. 
The thing is most Fucka Gyals concede early in the relationship that they will be satisfied with being just bed lays but demand more after falling in love with the ideal man. 


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