“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Thursday, January 21, 2010
The Hypocrisy of Jamaican Men
Lisa Hype became the most popular and controversial Jamaican dance hall female artiste after a picture of her was released on the internet featuring Lisa Hype performing oral sex on a male. The island and the Jamaican Diaspora held their breaths to see how the Portmore Empire and its collegiate would respond to the photograph and rumors claiming that the recipient was Portmore Empire leader, producer and mentor, Vybz Kartel.
I anticipated that Lisa Hype would lose her contract with the Portmore Empire and that was precisely what happened. According to the Portmore Empire, Lisa Hype’s overall behavior was not reflective of the dogmas decorum and dictum of the Portmore Empire and its members. Lisa Hype was released from her contract by Vybz Kartel and a unanimous agreement from the other members.
According to the dogma of the Portmore Empire and its litany of artiste, oral sex and anal sex are considered deviant and unacceptable. Lisa Hype and Vybz Kartel did a song that clearly denounced and deplored oral sex (even though I have always contended those artistes are hypocrites who do not practice what they preach) and this latest development with Lisa Hype would have confirmed what many had suspected all along. Which is that most Jamaican artiste deprecate oral sex yet they personally engaged in the activity and often time insist that their partners do it.
When I heard Lisa Hype was fired fro the Empire over the evening news it conceded the hypocrisy and double standard of Vybz Kartel and many Jamaican men regarding their sexuality and women. I sat and listened to several Vybz Kartel songs that propounded and implied oral sex. There are songs where the entertainer claims that he loves a freak in his bed. Vybz Kartel in one of his latest hits talks about whip cream and crushed ice and blatantly claims that he enjoys oral sex.
A clear example of hypocrisy and sexual chauvinism. Women should coffer oral sex while men should not. It is acceptable for a woman to do it but not a man. Men should receive but should not return the affection. This is the reason why men who engage in oral sex vehemently deny that they do it because of fear of social backlash and communal sanctioning.
My big question is what exactly do Jamaican men want in bed? Why are Jamaican men hypocrites when it comes to genuine desires and sexual dictums?
What do Jamaican men want in bed?
A woman will tell you that nine out of ten Jamaican men like the idea of oral sex but when a woman performs oral sex, fifty percent of Jamaican men mainly from the lower socio economical class lose respect for her. Some men use it to manipulate and control women by hinting that he will tell the John Public of her sexual deviance. Some men go as far as taking pictures of the female and circulating it in order to socially demean, humiliate and bash the female.
Little significance is granted to the sexual activity of oral sex if it is promulgated that a woman does it. Every man she meets expects her to do it to him. Men will chase her for the sheer pleasure of receiving sexual gratification and notoriety from being one more guy on her who knows what she did last night list.
If she refuses to engage for various reasons, she is bashed, disgrace and insulted by her prospective partner who thinks that he is entitled to the performance because it is already public knowledge that she is a “bowers” with little thought that she reserves such sensual provisions for a special individual and not just any random man.
The emotional and sensual connotation of the activity is lessened by other men who now see the woman as being less than ideal and a sexual object, an instrument for masculine gratification.
It has been suspected, speculated and corroborated by some women that artiste that deprecate revile oral sex, engage in the act. Many Jamaican men engage in oral sex but will not public claim that they are into the activity. It may appear that greater import is added to receiving the act without giving back the action. People are far more likely to admit that they have been a recipient than a grantor. Jamaican men are more than likely to admit that they have been a recipient of oral sex than being a giver of the foreplay.