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Crystal Evans Books

“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie



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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Everyone wants to be a bad boy

Anyone who has ever spoken to young men about guns will know that they learn nothing from the ones shot dead before. Life in their eyes is meaningless. Death is the only glory. Badness is now the social currency for masculinity. When i was a child little boys wanted to be sweet boys with "whole heap a girls" and money and flashy vehicles. Now everybody wants to be a gangster, gun toting, fast lifestyle player who will no doubt go down in a hail of bullets. Everyone wants to be the killer, the boss of the killer or the instigator. 

Crystal Evans Novel 
Life is meaningless and death is glory

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Get Barn Raiders free on Kindle for the next three days!!!

Available on Kindle for free tommorrow. Full download.
Get it and remember to leave a review.
‪#‎JamaicanStory‬ ‪#‎TheBarnRaiders‬
‪#‎AvailableinEbook‬/ ‪#‎paperbackout‬
Franco ran down the dark streets of Red Lane with his shirt in his mouth. He had seen a shadow grabbed his friend around the corner and began ditching blows into his upper torso. Why Raty stopped to urinate at the junction was beyond him but he ran because he was sure that when he glanced back at the shadows, Raty lay motionless on the ground and the creepy silhouette was running towards him with a shimmery object in his hand that illuminated into a spark when it hit the lights.
He careened the deep corner, jumped into a yard and catapult onto the Verandah. He crouched immobile on the ground, confident that this was the only way he would be able to escape the dark, quiet silhouette that he knew would soon creep up around the corner looking for him.
His breath ragged and his heart hammered in his chest, he felt the tentacles of death crawling from somewhere in the darkness, skeletal fingers of the Grim Reaper closing in on his existence. He thought about his Van, Mimi and Mother. He howled like a wounded dog for he was for the first time in his life face to face with a predator.He placed his hand over his mouth to muffle the choking sobs that made his lips quiver.
He vowed to "Murder them and them family" if he got out of this predicament alive. No one was ever going to make him feel like a mouse in a rat trap ever again. This was what Raty was talking about, leaving your back careless. The one night Raty came out without the "firestick", Mr. Death came knocking.
He only hoped that the occupants at the house did not see him come into the yard and call the Police. It would never work in his favor if the police came. They'd either shoot him mistakenly for a burglar, Raty's killer or they would imprison him under similar speculations.
The creepy figure came into the light then mask into the shadows. He took something from his pocket and lit what appeared to be a cigarette in his mouth. He glanced down the road. He took a smoke and stared up the road. Then another figure with the shiny tool in his hands appeared, looking frantically behind him. He gazed over into the yard and Franco could have sworn he looked directly into his eyes.
Franco did not move. The figure scanned the yard and knocked his friend on the chest with two fingers. He pointed down the road and motioned for him to go into what Franco realized for the first time was a waiting car. Franco didn't know if his eyes were playing tricks on him but he knew within himself even if the last glance the stranger telepath towards the verandah did not confirm that he may have seen him. This was strange and Franco knew enough about the streets to conclude that these strange men who pursued him were not that much of strangers to begin with. The second figure opted to spare his life, a decision Franco knew he would live to regret.

Monday, November 10, 2014

The Reasons you should buy Every Man Deserves A Good Jacket

It made Amazon Caribbean Top Seller List. Get it here...

Fat Girl Problems : Dating

I met a young man yesterday and we had an interesting conversation. He surprised me in more ways than one. It is not the first time I am seeing him. Our paths crossed a few times and I was equally surprised that he noted I walked pass him in the supermarket a couple Fridays ago. 

When I trudged pass he did not seem particularly interested. He gave me a fleeting look and stared away. And yet he remembers every detail of what I did that day down to what I said to the cashier. I learnt something important, if a man is not staring, it does not mean he is not looking. 

We bumped into each other last night. He apologized profusely. And we started talking, he has known me all my life, remembers when I was going to high school. I could not pick him up, didn't recognized him until he showed me pictures of his family. He looked nothing like the boy I knew. 

When it comes to dating and relationship ships, I often emphasize contrast and comparison when dealing with different suitors. This young man reminded me of what a genuine attraction looks and feels like. 

I didn't have to ask for his number.  There was no need to employ subterfuge, drop hints or encourage interest. It flowed naturally. I was given his number, invited to his Facebook page and asked which day I was free so he could take me to lunch in his brand new Honda SUV. 

I asked him if he was sure I was his type. He asked me." What was wrong with me?" He then said. " I like trying new things" I was sold. 

I did not ask him out of insecurity. I pride myself on being logical in my approach with men. I am a big bodied girl and have to question the interest of a man I often see with slender, petite women. I admit that physically I am not his type or at least I think I am not. I did not know why I reminded him. It was not a prudent move but his response wiped the doubts from my mind. 

And I decided that my next book will be about Fat Girls Problems. It is a reality that bigger frame women deal with everyday and it is the notion that our bodies are not considered ideal. 

Fat girls have to work twice as hard to get respect from men, who see them as third class citizens and last resort. A fat girl is only considered an ideal partner if she has money. While slender women can come as they please! Broke or joke! 

Any ambitious, successful fat girl will tell you the shit men put them through. Men automatically assume that because your body is big, it means you are insecure. A guy once told me that fat women are easy. He was seriously deluded. Women are easy regardless of size, it all boils down to self value. 

But my fat sisters get played a lot. Guys who ask you to pay their phone bills so they can call other women. Men who offer a little sex, miminal interactions and want to collect huge benefits. 

Men who will never he caught dead with you in public and yet have the most demands on you in private. Fat Girls problems goes on and on.... 

I love my child's father for he was the man who loved me for who I am, without glamour or success. He values me. He is the template for sincere affection. Therefore I watch other men and I think about him. This little boy I met last night came pretty close. 

Friday, November 7, 2014

Home Remedies for Sagging Breast!

Though saggy breasts usually start happening after a woman reaches 40, it can occur earlier. Apart from age, other factors that cause sagging breasts include breastfeeding, pregnancy, menopause, rapid weight loss or gain, strenuous exercise, nutritional deficiencies and wearing a poorly fitting bra.

Some diseases like breast cancer or respiratory conditions like tuberculosis can also cause breasts to sag. Also, excessive consumption of nicotine, alcohol and carbonated beverages can contribute to the problem.

Breasts do not have muscle. They are made of fat, connective tissues and milk-producing glands, and they need proper care to keep them in good shape.

A wide variety of creams and lotions are available on the market to tighten and tone up sagging breasts. However, if you prefer natural methods, there are many simple and easy home remedies that you can try.

Here are the top 10 home remedies to firm sagging breasts.

1. Exercise

Those with saggy breasts must incorporate exercise in their daily routine. Exercises that target breast tissues and pectoral muscles around the chest can help a lot to add firmness.

Some exercises that can effectively lift up and firm sagging breasts are– chest presses and pulls, arm raises, round-about push-ups, and dumbbell flyes.

Along with these, there are other types of exercises that you can perform to firm your breasts. Check out this video to learn more.

Always wear a supportive or sports bra while exercising.

2. Ice Massage

Ice massage is also considered very effective to regain firmness in sagging breasts and uplift them. The cold temperature will cause the tissue to contract, in turn making the breasts appear firmer and more lifted.

Take 2 ice cubes and massage them in circular motions around each of your breasts for 1 minute only.
Dry the breasts with a soft towel and immediately put on a proper fitting bra.
Stay in a reclining position for 30 minutes.
Do this at regular intervals throughout the day.
Note: Do not expose your breasts to ice for more than 1 minute at a time as it can cause numbness.

3. Olive Oil

Massaging your breasts with olive oil is an excellent technique to firm sagging breasts. Olive oil is a rich source of antioxidants and fatty acids that can reverse the damage caused by free radicals and prevent sagging breasts. Plus, it will help improve the skin tone and texture.

Put some olive oil onto your palms and rub them together to generate heat.
Rub your palms over your breasts in an upward motion.
Massage gently for about 15 minutes to increase blood flow and stimulate cell repair.
Follow this remedy at least 4 or 5 times per week.
You can also use almond, argan, avocado or jojoba oil to massage your breasts.

4. Cucumber and Egg Yolk
Another excellent remedy for lifting the breasts is a mask prepared from cucumber and egg yolk. Cucumber has natural skin-toning properties and egg yolk has high levels of protein and vitamins that can help treat sagging breasts.

Puree 1 small cucumber in a blender.
Mix in 1 egg yolk and 1 teaspoon of butter or cream to get a paste.
Apply it onto your breasts and leave it on for about 30 minutes.
Wash it off thoroughly with cold water.
Use this mask once a week to firm and strengthen the breast tissues.

5. Egg White

Egg white is also good for sagging breasts due to its astringent and skin-nourishing properties. The hydro lipids present in egg white helps lift loose skin around your breasts.

Beat 1 egg white until you get a foamy texture. Apply this onto your breasts and allow it to sit for 30 minutes. Wash it off with cucumber or onion juice and then with cold water.
You can also prepare a breast mask by mixing 1 egg white with 1 tablespoon each of plain yogurt and honey. Apply it onto your breasts and leave it on for 20 minutes. Rinse it off with cold water.
Follow either of these remedies once a week to enjoy firm breasts.

6. Fenugreek

In Ayurveda, fenugreek is often used to firm sagging breasts. It has vitamins and antioxidants that combat free radical damage and help lift, tighten and smooth skin around the breasts.

Mix 1/4 cup of fenugreek powder with enough water to form a thick paste. Massage this paste onto your breasts and leave it on for 5 to 10 minutes. Rinse it off with warm water. Follow this remedy once or twice a week.
You can also prepare a breast mask with 1/2 cup of yogurt, 10 drops each of fenugreek oil and vitamin E oil and 1 egg white. Mix the ingredients until you get a smooth paste. Apply the paste onto your breasts and rub it in gently. Let it sit for about 30 minutes and then rinse it off with cold water. Use this mask once a week.

7. Pomegranate

Pomegranate is considered a wonderful anti-aging ingredient and can help prevent sagging breasts. Pomegranate seed oil is rich in phyto-nutrients that can lead to firm breasts.

Make a paste of pomegranate peel and some warm mustard oil. Use it to massage your breasts in a circular motion for 5 to 10 minutes daily before going to bed.
You can also use pomegranate seed oil to massage your breasts 2 or 3 times daily.
Another option is to mix 4 teaspoons of neem oil with 1 teaspoon of dried and powdered pomegranate rind. Heat this mixture for a few minutes. Allow it to cool and then use it to massage your breasts twice daily for several weeks.

8. Aloe Vera

Aloe vera has natural skin-tightening properties that can help get rid of sagging breasts. The antioxidants in aloe vera prevent damage caused by free radicals and help firm sagging breasts.

Apply aloe vera gel onto your breasts and massage gently in a circular motion for 10 minutes. Allow it to sit for another 10 minutes and then wash it off with warm water. Repeat this remedy 4 or 5 times a week to get effective results.
You can also prepare a mixture of 1 tablespoon of aloe vera gel and 1 teaspoon each of mayonnaise and honey. Apply this onto your breasts and leave it on for 15 minutes. Rinse it off first with warm water and then use cold water. Do this once a week

9. Shea Butter

Another natural ingredient to firm and tighten breasts is shea butter. It is a great source of vitamin E that tightens the skin to give your breasts a firmer appearance. Also, it helps prevent cell damage caused by free radicals.

Rub some shea butter onto your breasts.
Massage in an upward and circular direction for 10–15 minutes.
Leave it on for another 10 minutes and then wash it off with water.
Follow this remedy 3 or 4 times a week to see noticeable results.

10. Rhassoul Clay

Rhassoul clay is a natural skin-firming ingredient. It contains minerals like silica, magnesium, iron, calcium, potassium and sodium that helps to firm and tighten sagging skin, including breasts.

Mix 2 tablespoons of Rhassoul clay in powder form with enough water to make a smooth paste.
Apply this paste onto your breasts and allow it to dry.
Rinse it off with lukewarm water.
Follow this treatment once a week.

Additional Tips

Avoid extreme dieting as drastic weight loss in a short time span can cause your breasts to sag.
Enjoy swimming as it is a great exercise to firm breasts.
Avoid doing forward bends, contracting poses, jogging and running without wearing a supportive bra.
Make it a habit to drink an ample amount of water daily to hydrate your skin.
Do not directly expose your breasts to the sun without sunscreen. Sunlight can lead to loss of skin elasticity. Apply sunscreen on your breasts whenever you are wearing a tank top, bathing suit or sundress that has a low neckline.
Stop smoking to improve overall health and to protect the fragile skin of the breasts.
Make sure to correct your posture to avoid sagging breasts. Always sit straight and walk straight, without drooping.
Always wear the right fitting bra to provide enough support for your breasts. If needed, wear a push-up bra to give your breasts proper support. Wear a sports bra while doing aerobic exercises, playing tennis, jogging or doing any kind of workout that causes the breasts to bounce.
If you are overweight, lose weight. Excessive body weight causes the skin to stretch and breasts to sag.
You can also try yoga to tone and tighten the breasts within a realistic range.
Eat healthy foods with essential nutrients like proteins, vitamins, calcium, minerals, carbohydrates and essential fats that are required to firm up the breasts.


Monday, November 3, 2014

Jamaicans do not allow crime to make you lose faith in a better future.

I refuse to be caught up. These boys won't pull me into their misery. They have succeeded in drawing us all into their sense of hopelessness. I refuse to let them affect my life. I choose to be happy. We are left experiencing the world through their eyes and regardless of our ambitions, achievements and gains, we sink ourselves so low by thinking they are the masters of our lives. I choose to live.i choose to be free for there is no glory in being an effigy.

I will not be drowned in their pessimism. I will not banish self hope for dreaming of change is the first step forward in bringing about transformation. I will not be sucked into fatalistic meditation.Wallowing in their macabre and fatalism, them want us to give in and give up and validate anarchy but we will not
I choose to be sane, i choose to be happy, whatever comes my way. I choose to live. I choose to be free.

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Yendi A Model For How Not To Have A Child

Yendi A Model For How Not To Have A Child

THE EDITOR, Sir: I think Yendi Phillipps is now the poster child for the way young women ought not to go about having a child.

Had Yendi and Chino been married, she would now be entitled to one-half of the family home and could offer her child the security of a roof over her head. She might also have been entitled to some portion of his assets as his divorcing wife.

As a babymother in a relationship for less than five years, all Yendi is entitled to is child support for the child and absolutely nothing for herself.

As a means of breaking up, divorce is a more formal procedure and commands more respect from the person being divorced. When the party being left hears from the departing party's attorney, the former usually sits up and takes notice and recognises that much is at stake in the break-up.

Ending cohabitation or a non-cohabiting committed relationship which has produced a child is not a formal procedure and, in fact, a woman could be simply cut loose by the man without so much as an explanation.

Marriage offers the greatest legal protection to women who consider having a child with a man. The legal relationship cannot be severed on either party's whim, and provision for the child is an automatic step in the divorce procedure.

Babymothers, on the other hand, can be humiliated into leaving the relationship or cut loose without any child support until they themselves resort to the courts, at their own expense, to get support for their child.


Sunday, November 2, 2014

Jamaican Novel for the Jamaican Culture Readers: one week free on Kindle. Get it now


Kitty smiled. “I met someone. He is twenty one"

Trina jumped up with glee and sat back down as abruptly, legs folded beneath her chair, her face resting in her palm, elbow fixed on the table. She squealed, “Details! Details! Am waiting..."

Kitty gave her a conspiratorial smile and threw fleeting looks around the house to confirm that they were alone. “I met him at the party and found him online. We have been talking via messenger. He seems like a really cool guy"

Trina's eyes widen in anticipation and then her face took on a somber look. She shrugged "That sound boring"

Kitty pursed her lips. “Life is not all about excitement. Sometimes it's nice to take it slow!"

Trina made a dry laugh. “You too frustrated to take things slow, you need a good Joe Grind and you need it now so gwaan fool yourself"

Kitty slapped Trina's arm playfully. “Girl mi like the little bwoy eenuh but me fraid. What if him go use me?"

Trina pushed her hands away? A scornful look on her face. “Girl you a gwaan like you a virgin. A three pickney you have so you come out a plastic"

Trina gave her a reprimanding look. "You memba say anno husband you a look. You just a look some fun so be careful of all that messaging shit before you get a serious mindf___k before you even sleep with the bwoy"

Kitty grinned, she could always depend on Trina to be the voice of rationality. “So you think I should do it?"
Trina drew her chair in and it made a rakish sound on the tile.

“Girl just have fun and don't put your heart too much in it cause them yah young bwoy yah no want nobody and if Tom find out him ago kill you. So thread safely and make sure say anno no chatty mouth weh ago have your business all over the place. Jamaica is a very small place and news travel fast. Just do you thing and use protection."

Kitty smirked and her knees brushed Trina's leg under the table. She loved these girl’s bonding sessions.

"Girl him no drop dead handsome but him swagger turn up girl. And him can read good and sound intelligent"

Trina snickered. “Not like the ediat weh me did meet who never respond to a message but send bare voice notes and make calls. Him never understand nothing inna my text cause him can't read."

Kitty let out peals of laughter. "Wah did happen to him though Trin?"

Trina threw her a flirty look. "Well let's just say him is a stud in bed"

Kitty lips perked up. "Them ugly illiterate types are always endowed. They know how to beat it up like a stallion"

Trina sniggered. "Well if you can't read, you can't dress and you ugly then something must work for you and that bwoy know how to work"

Kitty poured herself another shot of vodka and red bull. She rocked sideways in her chair and fixed Trina a questioning look. "Coming like him still a beat it up?"

Trina smacked her lips and sipped from her cup. She licked her lips and burst into loud guffaws at the disgust that was plastered on Kitty's face. "Girl live a little nuh? Have some fun. You take life too serious and life short girl"

Kitty shook her head. “Seriously how do you look into his face? No sah you stomach strong!”

Trina laughed hysterically. Kitty’s glare riddled with repugnance. “I imagine he is someone else. But honestly the ugliness add another level to him appeal. Feel like some raw, rare Jungle fever”

Kitty’s eyes widened, she looked up at the ceiling and shook her head. She fixed Trina an amused look.
“You mad eenuh Gyal? You maddddd!!!!

She continued matter- a-factly. "You no know me eenuh. Mi have as much fun. There is just something about this little bwoy weh just hold me and me feel say the only way me ago find out if it real is if me and him do it. So me know a never just fantasy thing you know."

Trina's lips puckered. “Sound like you looking for a second husband?"

Kitty rolled her eyes. “No you crazy? Him have a baby mother and him can't subsist my lifestyle!"

Trina waved a finger at Kitty, two shots of vodka and she was already high. “Baby mother?!!! Oh please you a gwaan like him married and she is his problem not yours"

Kitty chuckled. " I don't give a damn about no woman I just hope them likkle boys keep their bitches on a tight leash"

Trina snickered, she twirl her fingers in her drink and brought it to her lips for a slow dance with her tongue. She eyed Kitty and smiled.

" Sounds like the little bwoy have a game and if that is true and he ain't running you down then you know he is a real alpha and when it comes to those types even Boss chicks like us have to wait our turn."