“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Monday, November 3, 2014
Yendi A Model For How Not To Have A Child
THE EDITOR, Sir: I think Yendi Phillipps is now the poster child for the way young women ought not to go about having a child.
Had Yendi and Chino been married, she would now be entitled to one-half of the family home and could offer her child the security of a roof over her head. She might also have been entitled to some portion of his assets as his divorcing wife.
As a babymother in a relationship for less than five years, all Yendi is entitled to is child support for the child and absolutely nothing for herself.
As a means of breaking up, divorce is a more formal procedure and commands more respect from the person being divorced. When the party being left hears from the departing party's attorney, the former usually sits up and takes notice and recognises that much is at stake in the break-up.
Ending cohabitation or a non-cohabiting committed relationship which has produced a child is not a formal procedure and, in fact, a woman could be simply cut loose by the man without so much as an explanation.
Marriage offers the greatest legal protection to women who consider having a child with a man. The legal relationship cannot be severed on either party's whim, and provision for the child is an automatic step in the divorce procedure.
Babymothers, on the other hand, can be humiliated into leaving the relationship or cut loose without any child support until they themselves resort to the courts, at their own expense, to get support for their child.