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Crystal Evans Books

“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie



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Monday, March 31, 2014

Humility ; Finding the err in my Humanity

Self righteousness is the enemy of compassion and judging another persons life by your own existence with little regards for his private struggles is to bring down the same egocentric critique on your own humanity. 

You cannot understand the human nature without first examining yourself. Consider what motivates you to anger and violence. Imagine how many times people have done evil to us and how we subtlety, in the weak, secret hours of our lives wished them dead. We want their lives end because we believe life is the most precious thing and to take it away is to destroy what an individual values most. We are afraid of others when we should be wary of ourselves. We are as much a danger to others as we are to ourselves. The only danger that exist is man is himself and he is quite unaware of it. When we strive to destroy each other often times, unknown, unbidden we become the catalyst for our own self destruction. 

Regardless of the differences and divisions that we encourage among ourselves we must come to realize that it is the fragile strands of our humanity that bonds each and every one of us to a similar beginning and an inexorably yet identical end. 

Life is centrally a misery because society force these lofty ideals upon us to achieve and pursue material abundance and try to pervert our own nullification. We hate our meaningless existence and hence we try to give our lives purpose, to safeguard ourself from atomization into the free bouncing energy of nothingness that we all are. 

Many of us openly denounce those who pervade wickedness and yet we gloat over the failures of others. We would put our head and hearts together to see another to down because we think it makes us innocent. As long as I don't have any blood on my hands, then I haven't done anything wrong. When you speak your desires atmosphere asking God or Nature to conspire with you and foment the annihilation of others. Those who wish death upon others for malice, retribution or recreation are as guilty as the man behind the trigger. 

Evil is a serious energy. It is far more robust than Good because Good albeit subliminal is gradual but insured. Evil rushes to conclude that which it started. It consumes it's supporters and purveyors because evil leaves very few narrators. Wickedness thrives on pouring gasoline over a fire than hurling a bucket of water upon a fiery temper. Very soon the conflagration incinerated the doser because whatsoever we put out in is what we get back. I wish even the damning the best of health because I believe it is never my place to cast judgement. Me, a flawed human being with my numerous quasi obsessive compulsive behaviors and never ending personal struggles would never marinate another human being in condemnation, laws caters how deserving.

It is sad because there was a time when I imagined mercy as reciprocity. Show mercy onto those who are merciful towards you. I could never ask the higher forces to fight against those who fight against me since in doing so I prove myself no better or different than them. 

Sometimes I am afraid to write about  how I really feel and some of the things my mind's eye see. I believe opening some doors can change your life. I have a hunch of foreboding that this society does not want to hear anything I have to say because I don't look a certain way or come from a particular area. My brothers get judged for wearing kerchiefs on their faces like Mexicans, I get judge for choosing to remain among them. Well how can you expect to look like a criminal, act like a criminal and associate with criminals and not be regarded as one. Judge not less he be the brunt of a fool's judgement. 

I see wisdom hunkering down on the darkness, afraid to traipsing the menacing streets of gratification and material allures. I've asked God whoever he is because I am sometimes agnostic to show me the error in my ways, guide me away from the evil paths. I am only human ad my scope of knowledge is not static, it is ever expanding. The more I learn the less I realize I know. I am still a fool and the foolish are prone to make mistakes. So I am asking for guidance from the supreme intelligence.  

Getting Advice from your Jamaican Man's Side Chick

I kept remembering the season finale of Being Mary Jane and wondered if women could really benefit from the insights of a matey or real side chick. If your man's other woman could teach you a thing or two about keeping a man happy and committed. 
 In my opinion a man can have a perfectly good relationship and cheat especially if he sees someone whom he believes he cannot pass up. He simply has to have her too and while not leaving the comforts of his prior relationship. 

The man gets to use two women to fulfill his selfish needs but the side chick always get the shitty end of the stick because which man including the family types are going to leave their children for you? They would rather stay with their families. 

The only advice a side chick can give is how to attract an emotionally unavailable man. Not that men don't fall head over heels in love with their mistresses, but in many cases a mistress is a convenience, a spare tire, a fall back girl. 

Nature contends that men were never made to be monogamous. Nature intended for men to spread their seeds to maintain the growth and variety of the species. Men are genetically programmed to be attracted to women outside of their committed relationship. 

Does this means you should accept advice from your side chick? You probably could listen, she might know a thing or two about what your man likes since she unlike you works overtime to keep your man happy. You have become complacent because you are considered his main chick and pull back on the wifely treats but Matey who wants to steal your man will pull out all the stops to get him. Wives have to be on top of their game. 

You can be on top of your game and still lose your man to another woman simply because he has fallen in love with her and out of love with you. They say men leave their wives for two main reasons, lost of love and bad sex. Number three reason is constant arguments and nagging.

It's weird because number two and three can lead up to number one. A Jamaican man don't need a reason to cheat so much as an opportunity. Most Jamaican men cheat because they want to and not because they have to. Many Jamaican men are always in truth looking for an upgrade. Always on the hunt for a wealthier woman or a better looking chick. Men with money often believe that women are god's gift to them so they should have them in "bundles".

Jamaican men love the chase of a woman and that is their grandest issue. They like the hunt and each new relationship offers an opportunity to experience the adrenaline rush and excitement of the hunt. Women are considered for the most part conquest and the wives are only replaceable trophies. Cheating creates a moment of enjoyment and men often contend that wives should not complain because they put them at house and while several women are desperate to live with them. Wives have to work overtime or live in oblivion to ward off a take over by the competition. 

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Jamaican justice system won Vybz Kartel Case

The Jamaican Justice System was placed on trial and it won. it has been a long time that someone has been convicted and imprisoned for murder in Jamaica in a highly publicized case. 
It WORKED because the evidence presented albeit tampered spoke explicitly to the perpetrating of the crime the Vybz Kartel is accused of committing. Justice prevailed and the public prosecutor won a well deserving case. 

It is quite unnerving even to a supporter of Kartel's raunchy style how the defense never once tried to prove Vybz Kartel's innocent but spend more time trying to discredits the police and the forensic evidence. There was by all indication nothing to suggest in Vybz Kartel's life that he was incapable of murder without a reasonable doubt. 

It is not just Kartel who is on trial here. Dancehall music is on trial too and what dancehall music represents and those who believe Vybz Kartel is part of the insidious erosion of the moral fabric of Jamaica would like to see not only Kartel but dancehall put to rest... I see ppl on Facebook showing malicious satisfaction over the inprisonmemt of Kartel and yet have criminals and gun men in them own backyard who them a hug up and would never come on Facebook and denounce them.It was not justice for lizard, it was justice for the society and those who
Sought to maintain the values they accused Vybz Kartel through his music of eradicating through his debauch. Many maintained that Lizard was apart of a clique of depraved individuals and his demise albeit unfortunate was a case of natural selection.

A crowd gathered before the courthouse shouting free world Boss. These people are not saying free Kartel because they like criminality but because they believe the idea of Vybz Kartel is bigger than crime or prison. It is not who is he, it is what they think he represents. It is within this same mindset that lead most poorer class of people voting for Portia Simpson Miller over a brilliant Peter Phillips in the party election. Phillips might be smarter and more savant but Portia represented the inner city and inner city people wanted one of their own to shine. People rarely lend support because of rationale but more so because of likings.If someone likes you then you have their unconditional support. 

It is within the same mental
Framework why we are quick to discriminate. We judge people not on their virtues and vices but by our own predilection and prejudices. We might not like to admit it but we cheapened human life everyday in how we treat people in our everyday interactions. How many of us do not speak to a particular person because we somehow see them inferior to us and if they should die without a moments notice we would be completely untouched by their passing? There are people whose life worth more than others whether we want to believe it or not. It is an unfair perspective but it is the reality of the world we live in.

Blood Money book: why black men cannot handle success part one

Vybz Kartel was recently found guilty of murder but before that he made a song stating " them call it scam but we call it reparation".  This song sought to lend legitimacy to scamming but Kartel's song did not coin this notion, the music is merely a reflection of the society. 

Vybz Kartel was making reference to a notion among Jamaicans that scamming white people was compensation and retribution for slavery. This vague idea drapes a cloth of legitimacy to the illicit idea. It is this ideology that made it somewhat acceptable among individuals who can barely form ideologies for themselves and therefore subscribe to the second knowledge of others, often in superior social capacities but just as uninformed and unintelligent as they are. 

To hate a man because he is black is the same level of discrimination attributed to disliking someone because they are white. White people enslaved black people primarily because they were considered inferior and suitable for tropical labour than the Europeans. We cannot consider ourselves a race moving forward and evolving from the savagery that is always attached to us if we through our criminal and violent subcultures perennially continue to sink to lower levels of barbarism. 

It said that black men cannot handle success. Scamming has proven this due to the chaos and tragedies that often culminates in the life of a scammer. Some might say more money,more problems. Vybz Kartel and many successful artiste cannot detach themselves from the fantasy that they create and a life of crime. So too many scammers believe that true success or Donship can only be attained through loads of money and a convoy of followers subscribing to their philosophies no matter how idiotic or gruesome. 

One cannot adequate investigate the lottery scam without making references to dancehall music and it's glorification of the crime culture. Dancehall bestow respect upon gangsters, Dons and Galist( promiscuous men), it is said that everything about dancehall lends itself to debauchery. 

Dancehall like any other musical forms is an agent of socialization. Whilst parents cannot leave the moral rearing of their children to an artiste, dancehall has been made culpable for many of the ills of the Jamaican society. 

It is alleged if not conclusive that most if not all hardcore dancehall artiste or somehow involved in criminality evident by their consistent run ins with the law. It is the same social factor that affects scammers because they seek an opportunity to get out if poverty and they get it through illegal means but end up back in many cases where they are before or even worst off. 

Some scammers end up broke after being profligating the money they gleaned from unsuspecting victims. 

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Will your Life count even after you die?

I often wonder how other mortals find malicious satisfaction in the death of another. We who are of a higher perspective know that death is Neither choosy or discriminate. We would not relegate our thoughts to gloating like the simple minded man who believes his life albeit short, that nature grants him nepotism by extending his life above others. Death albeit severe is no punishment because many a man before us have passed on and we too when our time comes will cross that river. With the ending of each life, within my circle or on the outskirts of my social life, I can feel death inching closer to me. 

Why am I trying to live if am just living to die... We live as if we will never die and when we die for many of us it will be as if we never lived. Energy cannot be destroyed it is merely transferred so for many us death is only the next great adventure. 

I am never sparing in my condolences. Death shows no favoritism when it knocks at each door, picking off its victims like a caricature in a horror movie... One by one. 

Some might consider death especially of the young a misfortune but we cannot be attached to life forever and fail to evolve into someone whose life merits. Don't believe too much in your own hype for you will not be remembered for what you did for your self but what you did for others. What you do for yourself dies with you and when you die it will be as if you never lived. What you have done for others will make you immortal...

I do know that when someone has lost somebody even a small
Ounce of sympathy or condolence goes a long way than a mouthful of preaching and condemnation. I don't practice running salt into wounds when people die because I know even though some of us will never acknowledge it that death is not for the cursed few or the chosen Jews. 

More is revealed in behavior than words. People might not always tell you how they feel about you but they will show you and expect you not to pick up on it. Non verbals carry as much volume as saying what you feel aloud. It doesn't take a rocket science or a psychologist to peel back the layers of Social behavior to know when people like you for who you are and not for the idea of you and what they think you represent. 

We see it in death. Death exposes who we really are. Even in the end the true value of our lives will rear its head about all other elements. We are entitled to our twisted sense of existence and warped entitlement but there are many of us who the living will be in such a hurry to shut the door on our exit from this physical world. 

Others will be martyred and immortalized in the minds of coming generation because their lives impacted others that their legacies will live on through death. I humble myself by remembering that there were billions of people before lost to the anonymity of death and therefore if I want to be immortal, I must be willing to do something that no one had ever done before or very few dare attempt. 

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Too much talking in Jamaica and no Action

I believe too much talk is what I preventing us from moving forward. Too much deliberation and not enough action.Too many people more concerned about getting the last talk and having others accept their opinions than presenting feasible and visionary course of actions. I read a lot forums online and see people denouncing crime and violence in Jamaica yet no one is
Putting their money where their
Mouth is. Everybody just love to talk. They haven't realize yet that is what evildoers have over those who want goodwill. Bad people don't just talk, they go out of their way to bring malevolence to those they see as ominous or oppressive. Good people remain passive, talkative in their own small groups but scared of their lives to ever stand up and voice what they really feel. It is ok to be afraid after all, we are only humans hanging on to this fragile thread of life that can be broken at any moment plunging us into permanent unconsciousness and eternal oblivion. So we give a little action and condemn the bad in our prayers hoping that our praying will buffer us from the aggression of the diabolical. If good people would exhibit even half of the tenacity and perseverance that the wicked muster when carrying out their nefarious acts then we would have a better world.

Sometimes I wonder if one of these days I will end up on the news. Portia Simpson Miller, promise minister of Jamaica says she does not watch the news. People were outraged when she made this disclosure but truth is I can somewhat agree with her point of view because watching the evening news makes me depressed. It seems like the news has always been the same thing since I was a child. Nothing had changed, the same old dispirited stories about the myriad of social maladies affecting our country. 

I wonder if one of these days I will watch the news and something truly interesting will be on. An occurrence that I can be proud of. I think people like Tessanne Chin and Usain Bolt should start making public denouncement of crime and violence. I believe we need a peace concert, a platform where the most influential people in Jamaica join hands under the aegis of wanting a better jamaica. The people with the influence should get involved and not only commend on crime for publicity reasons.

I often wonder if these parents and family members of those who harm others in our society do not see the error in their boyfriends, sons and relatives way. It is now a norm for people to boast of them bad man relative in order to intimidate or scare their enemies and rivals. Our troubles is bigger than just stomping out the bad hens, we need revamp of our familial system of values. You see when a little boy goes next door and pick apples without the neighbors consent and then when the neighbour insist that it is not good manners, the parent curse the neighbour. I believe that is where we went wrong, when we gave our children the impression that only family opinion of them count and that if the family was not speaking out against it then it is somewhat ok. As long as you not hurting your friends and family it is ok. You cannot raise a child to disregard the feelings and right of other people in a society because the child you raise will be the adult that everyone has to live with. The parent creates a criminal without even knowing it by giving the child the impression that he has every right to pick apples on someone else property without consulting them. The child is taught to overlook the nieghbours rights and that is where the beginning of our troubles lies. Too many children conditioned by parents to step on others outside of their familial lines. 

Bad people don't relent but good opeople hide in corners afraid of what might happen if they were ever assertive about wanting peace and justice. We know that those who ever wanted good often end up dead heroes. Look at Martin Luther King murdered because he wanted civil rights to be for every human being and not just a privilege for a few. You see it might not be the collective desire of many needed to engender your demise, it is many times the wish of a few bad apples and the willingness of one demonic soul to see your fall through. All it takes to throw the world into chaos, is just one wicked person, only in our human realities does darkness drives out the lights. 

What does justice mean to you?

We see justice differently in our society and many people like to swirl around blades of labels attached on those who hang on to the hapless metaphors of what consists our often biased and prejudicial existence. We might not say but it's clear to those who have the eyes to see that some of us are considered better off entombed and other mortals get to make that decision. 

Kahjeel Mais a passenger in a taxi was murdered by Patrick Powell, the driver of an X6 who reportedly flee the country after shooting at the taxi the Kingston College student was traveling in. I am yet to hear various sections of society decry this dastardly act and see the classism in how the shooter was on bail and the case perennially pushed back since 2011.

 When will Kahjeel Mais family get some justice? 

Kahjeel Mais life was not worth much and the claims by the defendant are that the driver was responding to a preconceived rumour that car theives often bad drove prospective victims and he had shot under the premise that they were trying to rob him and he did not know it was a taxi. Kahjeel Mais life was cut short and he continues his life with his family and friends as if nothing happened. 

I am not saying the shooter might not be experiencing conflicting emotions, maybe  remorse and hopes for some form of redemption but it highlights our frenzied concious beliefs than one life worths more than another. 
It is not only evident in Kahjeel Mais case but in case of the little girl who was shot and killed by a police officer while sitting on her step. The officer was chasing a man that was running away from him and shooting at him. Some "stray" bullet killed the little girl. 
Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Music alone does not create criminals, murderers are bled from broken homes with an erosion of family values. A police office friend of mine pointed to the young men in his community whom he has a great relationship with, I've known him my entire life. And he says look at these guys we grew up with, all us use to go to the same church and none of them we knowingly a gun man or bad man. He says bad parenting is what creates society's deviants. Parents who are more concerned about winning an argument than doing what they know is right and scolding a child who has offended another. For this reason we have adults who don't care about anyone outside of their family and friends. It's not just a ghetto people thing, it's an everybody thing. 

I respect the artiste but not a criminal

 I don't know if Kartel is going to be acquitted. But one thing I know is he is a talented artiste. As smart as I am I won't hesitate to admit that I AM a  huge Vybz Kartel the Artiste Fan and would very much like to see him free. I interviewed him at sumfest 2010 along with Movado and they were the most humble dudes to me. I've got male families and I know how tough these streets can be so I respect the hustle of every male who use their 

 Game or talent to get out there. Kartel may have corrupt the youths but they supported him because his songs were what they wanted to hear all along. Music celebrating freedom of lifestyle, choice and sexuality.  Kartel is not the music. The music is the society and the society is in the music. 

I won't vouch for whether or not he is a murderer because honestly I don't know the man like that. I speak for Vybz Kartel the Artiste not Adidjah Palmer the man. If he is found guilty of the crime by the verdict of his peers then he should do the time....

None of us is above the law. The law cannot be prejudicial to wealthy people or celebrities. Once the law is broken and we are found guilty then we must serve our sentences. 

Sometimes I think back and wonder why Vybz Kartel was so foolish to begin with to put himself in such a compromising position. It may seem like a conspiracy but  he allowed it to be believable by perpetrating acts that rendered it true. Understanding his fragile position in society and how many ethical pundits blame him for the moral decay of this society, he should have opted to walk a very straight line. 

His incarceration will have a grae impact on Dancehall but the music will live on as the likes of Alkaline , Koshens and I octane will continue to light the torches. I hope Vybz Kartel's parody is a lesson to other celebrities who might feel that they are above the law that Jamaica is working hard to build a level of integrity in its crime fighting struggle. We are living in an era where as we slip  we fall... It pays to live you life on a straight line not filled with doubts and compromising fall outs. 

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Men claim Sex is boring without oral sex

I don't have a problem with a freaky man. My only issue is that he be discriminate. You cannot just walk around putting your mouth under every woman's skirt. 

I think oral sex should not be compulsory in a coitus situation but i do believe that when someone decides to do something freaky in bed then it should be on their own terms. It should be by choice influenced by desires and emotion and not by duress. 

Most men want a woman to go down on them but they are reluctant to go down on a woman. A guy once said that he believes sex would be boring without oral sex. He thinks the ultimate sexual stimulation is by using the mouth and therefore considers all other forms of copulation tedious. 

A woman who has never tried oral sex is reluctant to do so because of the social stigma men have attached to it. Many men painted oral sex as in dignifying in the past and therefore have deterred many a self conscious woman from doing it. 

It is through the proliferation and endorsement of oral sex particularly through artiste like Vybz Kartel why women are no longer reluctant to try fellatio. Men on the other hand rarely admit to doing cunnilingus. 

Oral sex should be a matter of preference and offered without
Conditions or force because of love or desire. No one should use sex or any form as foreplay as a determinant for sex. 

It is immature for any man to believe that he can determine the sexual
Compatibility of any woman after having sex with her one time.

 As a female I can attest to the barage of feelings and thoughts with regards to body image and self consciousness that assuages a woman when she is suppose to sleep with man for the first time. 

A sexual experience must foster the bonds that were created during intersectional phase of the relationship sex is not meant to be a determinant of whether someone will be a good partner or candidate. It is a determining factor but only on a small scale. Many women would gladly sleep with a guy albeit his sexual
Performance is substandard and remain committed to him because his other attributes are so overwhelming. 

It is a sad reality but nine out of ten men determine whether or not they will stay with a woman after the first sexual experience. Nothing is wrong with a little experimental sex but it should be nondemanding. 

 Physical attraction does not equate to sexual attraction. Most men believe most women don't want a relationship they just want to have fun and therefore see sex as mainly recreational. 

Online pornography coupled with romantic idealism of movies has placed great pressure on couples pursuing a relation to fit the ideation of love in their minds. Men expect sex to be like what they see in porn and women expect a relationship to be like what they see in romantic movies. This leads to widespread disappointments because everybody is looking for that perfect partner and a ready made sex machine. 

Dating is a good phase to find out if one will be comfortable with another's sexual orientation. Ask questions and don't be afraid to veer into freaky areas to find our whether or not you would be comfortable having sex with this person. 

We cannot continue to form relationships hoping to find our ideals in others. We should exchange some the superficial spiel we discuss in the dating phase to find out where the other person's head is. Many women might not know this but a man decides within the first few minutes of talking to you whether or not he thinks you are worth pursuing. Women take longer to make up their minds. 

If a particular sexual orientation makes one uncomfortable it is ok to say no to a request for it. It is of little consequence to you if you are wealthy or educated because a man who is not sexually satisfied will no doubt be inclined to stray. 

My life experience...

My entire life since my birth has been influenced by my experiences. These occurrences shapes the way I see this world and whether I choose to be good or bad is inherently my choice and how I interpret the meaning of these experiences and use them as guides for my life. 

I don't like to talk about politics because I am ashamed of my political positions in the past. I will say that when it comes to Jamaicab politics it is unfair that there are people waiting at the lines for the start of each person's lives waiting to destroy your faith in a wholesome life with lies and promises.

It was just the other night that I was asked why I voted for a particular party. I said I needed the fringe benefits which from all accounts were unforthcoming. In my estimation I was used by party activist to fuel their own ends and needs. They kept any "benefits for themselves". 

The concept of a good life is esoteric to many average Jamaicans like myself and it should not be but it is. We would like to be responsible for our individuals lives but we cannot because politics and societal values creates the premise on the value of our lives reinforced by their policial orders.