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Crystal Evans Books

“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie



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Monday, March 31, 2014

Humility ; Finding the err in my Humanity

Self righteousness is the enemy of compassion and judging another persons life by your own existence with little regards for his private struggles is to bring down the same egocentric critique on your own humanity. 

You cannot understand the human nature without first examining yourself. Consider what motivates you to anger and violence. Imagine how many times people have done evil to us and how we subtlety, in the weak, secret hours of our lives wished them dead. We want their lives end because we believe life is the most precious thing and to take it away is to destroy what an individual values most. We are afraid of others when we should be wary of ourselves. We are as much a danger to others as we are to ourselves. The only danger that exist is man is himself and he is quite unaware of it. When we strive to destroy each other often times, unknown, unbidden we become the catalyst for our own self destruction. 

Regardless of the differences and divisions that we encourage among ourselves we must come to realize that it is the fragile strands of our humanity that bonds each and every one of us to a similar beginning and an inexorably yet identical end. 

Life is centrally a misery because society force these lofty ideals upon us to achieve and pursue material abundance and try to pervert our own nullification. We hate our meaningless existence and hence we try to give our lives purpose, to safeguard ourself from atomization into the free bouncing energy of nothingness that we all are. 

Many of us openly denounce those who pervade wickedness and yet we gloat over the failures of others. We would put our head and hearts together to see another to down because we think it makes us innocent. As long as I don't have any blood on my hands, then I haven't done anything wrong. When you speak your desires atmosphere asking God or Nature to conspire with you and foment the annihilation of others. Those who wish death upon others for malice, retribution or recreation are as guilty as the man behind the trigger. 

Evil is a serious energy. It is far more robust than Good because Good albeit subliminal is gradual but insured. Evil rushes to conclude that which it started. It consumes it's supporters and purveyors because evil leaves very few narrators. Wickedness thrives on pouring gasoline over a fire than hurling a bucket of water upon a fiery temper. Very soon the conflagration incinerated the doser because whatsoever we put out in is what we get back. I wish even the damning the best of health because I believe it is never my place to cast judgement. Me, a flawed human being with my numerous quasi obsessive compulsive behaviors and never ending personal struggles would never marinate another human being in condemnation, laws caters how deserving.

It is sad because there was a time when I imagined mercy as reciprocity. Show mercy onto those who are merciful towards you. I could never ask the higher forces to fight against those who fight against me since in doing so I prove myself no better or different than them. 

Sometimes I am afraid to write about  how I really feel and some of the things my mind's eye see. I believe opening some doors can change your life. I have a hunch of foreboding that this society does not want to hear anything I have to say because I don't look a certain way or come from a particular area. My brothers get judged for wearing kerchiefs on their faces like Mexicans, I get judge for choosing to remain among them. Well how can you expect to look like a criminal, act like a criminal and associate with criminals and not be regarded as one. Judge not less he be the brunt of a fool's judgement. 

I see wisdom hunkering down on the darkness, afraid to traipsing the menacing streets of gratification and material allures. I've asked God whoever he is because I am sometimes agnostic to show me the error in my ways, guide me away from the evil paths. I am only human ad my scope of knowledge is not static, it is ever expanding. The more I learn the less I realize I know. I am still a fool and the foolish are prone to make mistakes. So I am asking for guidance from the supreme intelligence.  

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