“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
According to Wikihow.com, Chickungunya has three phases that can last from 3-12 weeks to a month. There are no vaccines or medication made specifically for this virus and it said to have been originated in Tropical regions such as Africa and is transmitted to humans through the bite of an infected Mosquito. The chikungunya virus (CHIK V) is a RNA virus belonging to family Togaviridae, genus Alphavirus. It was first discovered in Africa in 1952-1953 and later introduced into Asia.Major epidemics or outbreaks of chikungunya fever occur cyclically, a disease-free period of several years or decades may exist between the outbreaks. For example, a well-documented outbreak of the disease occurred in parts of India in 1963, 1964 and 1973. For the last 30 years there have been few reported cases, however, in 2005 several states in India have reported outbreaks of the disease and the outbreak is still continuing.Chikungunya is present where its mosquito vectors are common. Chikungunya is found in areas with heavy rainfall and abound during the rainy season.
What differentiates Chikungunya fever from dengue fever is the absence of excessive bleeding and shock, and the persistence of joint pains in Chikungunya. Incubation period is 1-12 days before symptoms occur in a patient. It is crucial that one drink teas and consume food that boost the immune system so as to prevent disease.
It is transmitted through a bite by two mosquitoes, namely Aedes aegypti and Aedes albopictus. These are daytime mosquitoes which are active a few hours before sunrise and for several hours before sunset.
The symptoms of Chikungunya includes as followed.
In the Acute Phase-
1. Low or High Grade fever similar to flu like symptoms
Fever may last for 24 hours up to 48 hours and then it might disappear for a day and return. The febrile state may last up to two weeks before normal body temperature is restored.
2. Joint pains that will be severe in the mornings and can be relieved by walking around but will get worst if one does an exercise that puts too much pressure on the muscles. Pain maybe felt in the wrist, elbows, knees, shoulders and hips.
3. Rashes that might look like small reddish bumps and pimples. It some cases there might be blisters and they often follow the fever. Not everyone will get rashes but look out for those. Over the counter Anti-itching and topical cremes may relieve discomfort.
4. The most common eye conditions in Chikungunya are conjunctivitis, eye pain, and pain behind the eyeball,
Other Serious complications that may arise
Chikungunya occurs from a month to three months after the acute phase of illness ends. During the subacute phase, the main symptom is arthritis. Aside from this, disorders of blood vessels like Raynaud’s phenomenon can occur.
Raynaud’s phenomenon is a condition where there is decreased blood flow to the hands and feet in response to cold or emotional stress.
Chikungunya may affect the meninges or coverings of the brain, the spinal cord, the brain itself, and the nerves. Brain and nerve disorders due to Chikungunya are varied and beyond the scope of this discussion. Some disorders of common knowledge would be seizures, nerve pain, and altered mental condition of the patient.
As for blood complications, there may be mild bleeding conditions in Chikungunya like bleeding under the conjunctiva of the eyes, nose- and gum bleeding. Unlike dengue, bleeding in Chikungunya is self-limiting or will not persist for long and eventually stop.
Some conditions seen in Chikungunya would be myocarditis (inflammation of the heart muscle), pericarditis (inflammation of the heart covering or the pericardium), heart failure, irregular heart beats, and abnormal blood flow. However, know that these complications of Chikungunya are rare and occur only in the subacute to chronic phase of Chikungunya.
Treatment of Disease
Paracetamol at the Pharmacy. Aside from Paracetamol, do sponge bathing until the temperature returns to normal. Use tap water and not ice water for sponge baths because of rebound return of fever or fever tends to be higher immediately after using ice water.
Treat Pain with Ibruprofen
Low Impact Exercise for Joint Pain
Have a solid eight hours of sleep at night and other nap periods if necessary. Rest in a warm environment.
Apply cold compresses to the affected joints in order to decrease pain and reduce joint damage.
Consume plenty of water at 2 liters in 24 hours at home to prevent dehydration from fever and for well-being. Be sure that urine output is more than 30 milliliters per hour or at least 720 ml per 24 hours.
Use pain-relievers and massage for headache. For headache, using paracetamol as described above, would help. Napping for a few minutes or massage your forehead or scalp should help relieve the headache.
Papaya and the boiling of the leaves to make tea is considered a grand herbal remedy to fight the Chikungunya Virus. Papaya leaf remedy is found to be highly effective in increasing the blood count lowers when one has Chick V virus. It is said to improve it within three hours of consuming tea or in many cases pulp extract of the Papaya leaf. Take two leaves and remove the stems, grind it to smooth paste and strain it to extract the juice. Take 2-3 tbsp of juice for 3 days.
Garlic Tea is great for antibiotic purpOses
Castor Oil or Coconut Oil are essential for massaging joints to remove pain.
Chickungunya Prevenetion tips
Cover tightly with a lid all water tanks, cisterns, barrels, rubbish containers, etc.
Remove or empty water in old tyres, tin cans, bottles, trays, etc.
Check and clean out clogged gutters and flat roofs where water may have settled.
Change water regularly in pet water dishes, birdbaths and plant trays.
Introduce larvivorous fish (e.g. guppy) to ornamental water features as these eat the mosquito larvae.
Trim weeds and tall grasses as adult mosquitoes seek these for shade on hot days.
People can do the following to prevent themselves from being bitten by mosquitoes.
Wear long sleeves and pants.
Install secure screens to windows and doors to keep mosquitoes out.
Use Insect Repellants
Sleep under mosquito curtains or nets, this is particularly important when children are sleeping or resting during daylight hours.
In high-risk areas insecticide sprays may be used to kill mosquitoes.
Avoid using aspirin because it may cause bleeding in the stomach or intestines and Reye’s syndrome in children less than 12 years old. Reye’s syndrome is a serious disease among children 4 to 12 years old where there are serious brain and liver symptoms, and can be fatal. It is due to a viral illness and even aspirin.
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What to do with that response text that comes a few days, weeks, or months later...
I know many women have been in that situation where you sent someone a text message. You were feeling desperate because you have not heard from him in five days, or your last message was ignored or in a bout of frustration you blurted out your most passionate feelings only to have it mercilessly disregarded. You painstakingly pull through, often through days of depressed and turbulent emotions managed to get over the embarrassment and hurt only to have that person reply a few weeks later. He does not reply, He texting you to catch up for he has ran out of platinum Pu$$y and is feeling a little bored and so he draws for the girls he knows are still very much desperately in love with him. You should not be happy. You should be upset if not mortified. You are a fall back girl.
You Know what to do.
A part of you is glad that this person finally responded or you are still sore from the bruised ego you suffered by the time they took to acknowledge your feelings that you opt to give them a taste of their own medicine. The Vindictive stance might sound appealing but i never go the way of personal vendetta. Maturity is always the best avenue by expressing my feelings about being ignored and letting my ignorer know that i am not even remotely interested in someone who treats me like an afterthought. I am not trying to hurt his feelings, I am just being honest about where i am in my life. I have a simple rule. If you can go that much days without speaking to me and i did not die then i can survive without associating with you for the rest of my life. I am a big girl, i will live.
I know if you are not the most civil person that you might be tempted to blow up and hurl insults aimed at hurting them the way they did you but that route only confirms your feelings. The way of passive recognition even an affable conversation will irk them the right way. You can say Hi and be courteous and concern at the end of the conversation. It is unfair but at times you cannot always treat people as they truly deserve. It is sometimes better to choose the high ground.
I once told a young man that i am a webmaster so i know your type. You are like my webservers, unsecure and full of holes but these young girls are too desperate to land a man like you thinking you are some gateway to financial security that they can never effectively exploit you. He was shocked and I explained to him, "that is where your so-call irresistibility comes from, you are seen as an opportunity for economic improvement. Take all your money away, the social gratification of your financial position coupled with that cocky attitude and warped sense of entitlement and see how many of these women would even be remotely interested in you.
But people do have a change of heart and the period after reintroduction often determines whether or not this person is worth a second chance.
Monday, September 29, 2014
When i first saw this picture of the guy who actually exchanged a package worth 160k for a $20 draw of weed. I had a wtf moment and then i thought he is as amusing as the story of the little boys in Africa who exchanged their diamonds for some candies. That is just the way it is people will quickly pass you up if (1) they have no knowledge of your worth and (2) You are not what they are looking for. It might sound shallow but human beings react to every thing at face value and this has been our primary reasons for having all those regrets when we discover the truth later on.
There are some men regardless of how great a woman you are who will quickly swap whatever you are offering them because your package "aint right" or he is ignorant of what you have inside for the temporary high of the partner or females he is accustom to. It is not just men who are prone to react like this but women do it too.
Am not saying a girl cannot dream but know the difference between what is going on in your head and your reality. Keep a friend who is a voice of rationality. Read and educate yourself. Arm yourself with the armour of knowledge of self honesty so that you can shield yourself from utopic expectations that lead to heartache.
Those who like me, raise your hand and for those who don't, raise your standards.
I remember standing one night years ago waiting on an male admirer. He told me that he would be there by Eight Pm and he did not show up until an hour later by then i had headed back home. I called him several times before the 15 minute window i will give a man for showing up late and he did not respond and by then i knew he was either not showing up or he will be fashionably late. My female friend came on the scene and demanded to know why i was upset with the man for being late.
She asked me if i really think i was powerful or that important to insist that a man be tardy. I was taken aback by her response and our friendship has never been the same since that day. I asked her in furious tone.
"Only women who are celebrities should insist that a man be honest and tardy?"
" Only popular and very attractive women should be treated with respect and have men return their calls?"
" Only 'important' people should insist on higher dating standards?"
I was forced to question whether she was insinuating that i was not in a position to insist that this young man be early and if he cannot be early at least be honest. Or perhaps she somehow thought that because i was not in the same social bracket as the aforementioned young man that he was entitled to some kind of special treatment. Now i know why women like her are perennially in predicaments with men because as soon as a man is of a certain calibre, as in appears financially secure, attractive and displays social gratification, the average Jamaican girl bends over back ways to get his attention. They will reduce if not eliminate their relationship needs and dating standards to accommodate this man because they are convinced that if they make this process easy and convenient for him then he will chose them over the females who are giving him a hard time.
Yes he might be inclined to choose her but he will not stay with her. This is not a concept founded on malignance and bashing. It is a fact. It happens everyday. The proof of the pudding is not in the looking but in the tasting.
I wrote to one young lady living in the British Virgin Islands after she read one of my books.
"I feel terrible for those women who gave men the impression that these are the standards you treat a lady by..I feel sad for them, more so i feel sad for me...for every male i meet i have to teach him to respond to me differently from the way he is accustom to, guide him from the stereotypes other women encouraged. The lies women told these men and the lies they now expect from me. Women are other women's worst Enemies"
Every Man Deserves A Good Jacket...
I receive emails from American women complaining about how frustrating their relationship with their Jamaican men can be. It is at that very moment that i understood where they were coming from. Women like my friend are the reasons why men think it is okay to do anything and act anyhow because even if you or i insist on higher standards for every one of us he can find ten of them. We cannot compete with the stereotypes they encouraged because they are too many of them and too little of us.
My friend went on to create a checklist of the things she supposed was wrong with me and i assume was to hint that probably that was the reason why my date was late. I was not wearing waist length weaves, my face was dark and i had on my glasses for i was in the middle of writing when he called me. She assumed that the key to getting a man to commit was looking the best you can so that he will want to own you as one of his gaudy possessions. I could see the rationale in what she was saying but i do not know one girl who has managed to get any well adjusted, intellectual and ambitious man to stick around by virtue of looking like a fake black barbie. Well you get them to look and you might get them to sleep with you but how many will date you or commit seriously to you. The proof of the pudding is in the eating and those who manage to get a man to commit are the exception to the rule and not the rule.
There is a huge misconception among young Jamaican woman that the prerequisite to a committed relationship is to bring your best face forward. It is not working and it is evident in the many baby mothers at the public clinic without a supporting partner and babyfather. It is discernible in the numerous single parent homes headed by women. It is cognizant in the number of older women who are bitter, misandric and encourage anti-male sentiments in their narratives with younger women. The tactics that we have been using to get men is not working. Too many generations have tried these techniques only to end up poor with babies that have no father. Clearly these misconceptions need to be debunked as soon as possible.
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.People are consistent with who they want to be consistent with. It’s as simple as that...
People sometimes complain that my books are a little bit too melodramatic, that females cry too much and i often create basic male characters with little development. I told a lady recently that i wrote books for the woman who some man caused emotional distress by telling her she was not good enough. I wanted to build real life heroines who've been through it all and still came out stronger that before who refused to be broken by love's sting. I want women to go back to a place of empowerment instead of enduring long term emotional burn from the men who turn their heads away from their advances.
I once had a crush on a younger man, i believe i liked the idea of him and not necessarily who he was because i did not know him. It was more of a fantasy. He represented something more deeper and sinister than i was ever inclined to admit. Sometimes i look at him and i would think he is ugly or his wardrobe is unattractive, i loathed the way he carried himself like a thug but he was a doppelgänger for my dead cousin. I had always admired him from a distance until i got a friend suggestion from Facebook and recognized him. I added him in pique curiosity as to associating with this human being who reminded me so much of a loss loved one.
He was courteous at first and when i told him the reason why i added him, he was polite and said he heard that several times. He like most young men within a working class setting with a little money harboured these warped sense of entitlement and a distorted notion of irresistibility. The more i entertained him, the more he surfaced aspects of his personality that i noted were serious deterrents. He was very much still a child and we were polar opposites.
I was not looking for a relationship, i saw no future in our association. He was not the kind of person that i could take places with me and yet my interest in him somehow translated along the lines of something bigger than himself. I made a pact with myself several years ago not to date men from my "Ghetto" community not because i think i am superior to them but because i have been frustrated too many times by trying to educate, impress and validate them. These men complain that intellectual women are arrogant and dismissive and yet they often chase them away with their indecorous behavior.
But did he chase me away or was i all along mispercieving his courtesy as interest. How can you say someone is interested in you when he never calls, he has never offered his number, he has visited your backyard ten times per week and has never once requested a date with you and if you do not text him then he doesn't text you. He might think i am probably stupid but i am not, these teenage battles that women grapple with in their understanding of male behaviour does not go away with age and they become even more intense when you really like or you are infatuated with someone. I am a date doctor, i do not miss hints. These are the same pointers i pontificate on my sites daily. Why would a disinterest by a fairly attractive, average intelligent and well adjusted teenage boy miss me. I wanted to wring the situation for what it worth and see how long it would take before his unsavory side emerged and it did not take long.
I tell a woman that when she is not getting the attention she seeks from a man it is never primarily because he wants to hurt her feelings but he is basically doing what he knows best. His response is intuitive, involuntary without intent, he is not interested and men do not have time to play and pretend. Their range of interest is very limited so if he is not interested he cannot afford to invest even a one second text to say hi to you. That is the kinda of currency you judge a man by. What he is willing to do to get to you. If he is not doing anything then he is not worth your stock.
I made this story apart of my new book on Relationships dubbed " The Fairy Tale Complex" to emphasize the meaning of having your feelings grounded in reality than on some fantasy. In hindsight there was nothing in this young man's behavior that signalled an interest in me. I was mainly frustrated, angry and resentful of him for treating me with blatant disregard. I realized that he didn't do anything to me. I did it to myself by seeing a tree and thinking it is a forest.
Grown women do mess up for love and emotions are turbulent feelings that we sometimes have fragile influence over. We will in our impassioned state forget that we have limited control over other people's feelings, we can only direct our own.Do not feel bad about it. It is a testament to our humanity and not something to be ashamed of. Even your love interest at some point in their lives, have loved people who did not return their affection. Your feelings my be unique to you but it happens everyday. Do not sweat it.
"I don't want you if you only want me for yourself. Sometimes you think you like someone but what you really like is the idea of them, what they represent , a figment of a fantasy. To find out if your affections are grounded in reality. Take a step back and allow destiny to take its course."
I went through a Fairly Tale Complex moment, one i have not done for a long time in my life. A male friend responded when i asked for his input that " Young men like to chase, not being chased". I could not understand these games.If you like someone and you cannot be honest and vulnerable with that person then who are you suppose to show your softer side to. I concluded that if you someone rebuffs your affections then that person was not meant for you. You cannot want someone who does not want you. You cannot force someone to like you.
I won't deny that a snide rejection, blatant or underhand by a man even the ones we think are beneath us will not rattle our confidence. You are human and it is perfectly okay to grieve for what could have been. A recipe for being bitter and anti-interactive around other men is to hold on to the resentful feelings you endured by the your admirer's recant. Weeep, lock your self inside your house for a few days and lick your wounds. When you feeling better, get out there and get back into the game. Boss Chicks do not react, they simply replace.
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Ten Things Your Mother Should Have Told You About Dating (Jamaica Date Doctor Series Book 2)
Show me a lonely girl with a Wi-Fi connection, a dry phone, and a pussy that hasn’t been ate since Chrissy was on Love & Hip Hop and I’ll show you a hater. These bitter Basica’s develop insomnia trying to rally the internet around their, “Niggas ain’t shit” pity party and “These hoes holding us back” campaign. In reality the only one holding these girls back are their attitudes. Still, these type of women are quick to roll their eyes and hiss, “What I got to be jealous of.” Okay, if you want to play dumb and not take a hard look in the mirror, I’m going to tell you exactly what you’re jealous of. You think you deserve what other women have based on the fact that you are you, but when you do an assessment of your love life, you don’t have what they have, you have Netflix and Snapchat, and that bothers the fuck out of you.
Kermit-shadeYou went to college—you deserve dick and flowers. You have a career—you deserve dick, flowers, and a commitment. You don’t have sex fast and love Jesus—you deserve dick, flowers, commitment, and an engagement ring. Wake the fuck up, pridezilla! Nobody in this world is going to pat you the fucking back except the people that raised you. When it comes to dating, men don’t give a fuck about your 401K, your GPA, or if you were born a water sign. He’s looking at you thinking what makes you worth keeping, and unfortunately for you book smart overachievers, those intangibles can’t be learned in a classroom. These seemingly low caliber women in their crayola leggings and colored contacts probably can’t read a book aloud without butchering words. However, before your pass judgment on those women who are supposed to be your sisters, recognize what she can do is attain the attention of every man in the room and keep it, and that’s a trait that takes a lot more than ass size and weave length. If you take pride in your accomplishments then be happy with the academic or career level you’ve reached, but don’t launch your credentials as if you’re supposed to get a reserved seat at Club Chose. Men don’t choose the best resume; they choose the best character that matches their own.
What it ultimately boils down to is that some women try to think like men in order to guess what a man really wants. HA! Women are even shallower than men when it comes to looks, but of course they are much more willing to reward if he’s attractive in other areas. Job security, ambition, goals, education, loyalty, spiritual connection, those can upgrade a man in a woman’s book. Therefore, when these ladies that I’m referring to think about what men SHOULD want, they assume they are after those same things. Logically a man can want eye candy, but he should be just as concerned with those positives I just listed as well. However, as a man I know that shit is far from the truth. Men don’t give extra brownie points for any of that shit. I’ve dined with goons and executives alike, and when we get into our “boys only” talks about pussy, no one brings up “her lofty goals and ambitious drive really makes my dick hard.” Is she charismatic, does she look good, can you handle herself in a back and forth conversation without sucking her teeth? That’s worth more than all the oil in Iraq. Men, real men not the new niggas y’all bum around with who are looking for sugar mamas, know that they get or will get money, so a woman getting money is not that big on the list. If she can help up his stock, great, but unless a man is an opportunist he’s not trying to use his girl for her connects, because he can create his own. What I’m driving at is that as long as I’ve been writing BGAE, a vast majority of women still don’t get how quality men actually think and choose their women. They expect special treatment because they aren’t ratchet, aren’t Hoish, and don’t have children, then get angry with other women who they view as lesser pull off “miracles” in the man department. For the last time, I’m going to break down how this world spins, and please, no matter how many times you want to roll your eyes, keep them motherfuckers on the screen because you may miss something that the girl you want to direct that Kermit meme towards already figured out.
Why are you being passive aggressive about women getting bae’d up unless there were serious bae envy going on? Bae envy exists because there is allegedly such a huge man drought that women get in their feelings when they can’t land a Is Shit nigga. Let’s tackle the subject of extremely good looking, seemingly well adjusted, and gainfully employed men, because those are the ones that cause the animosity. If your first thought was, “Shit, where you find those at.” Then log the fuck off. Yes, they exist and after me drilling in the mantra of You Must Chris Brown Proof Your Pussy, women still can’t Spartan Up around a pretty dude. There is an epidemic where women lower their standards as to how they need to be treated in order to date, fuck, or commit to a man that has Super Saiyan Swag. Women go from Oprah to Oh we don’t have to go out, we can order in, so they won’t drive that man away. You refer to a man as “not all that” in your head, then treat him as if he came out of Princess Kate’s vagina. Why? Because you want him to want you, so you can finally be happy! If you don’t do those things, you are convinced that a man that fine or successful will leave you right where he found you. Fear of being cut off makes you paranoid when you date these men, it makes you depressed when you get passed up by these men, and ultimately leaves you bitter when you see other women flaunt these men as their own.
Women blackmail themselves. When confronted with a guy they like, they downgrade their power and submit without that dude even testing her gangster. I’ve talked to multiple girls who have fucked as soon as a guy tested her dick discipline because those men happened to be a few steps above the other guys that she had been attracting, and didn’t want them to lose interest. These men aren’t doing anything special, yet girls are tripping over themselves to accommodate them because they are afraid other women will slide in. My response to that is: Why the fuck are you worried about the next bitch? If you think he’s sexy, at least a handful of other women in your community will feel the same, and half of them will fuck him just for being thoughtful enough to speak. SO WHAT!?! I don’t care if you live in Atlanta or any other city where Women outnumber men, you can’t ever blackmail yourself into doing the most to keep a man’s attention because there are other women breathing down his neck. My friend posted a picture of herself looking into a reflection and it read “My only competition.” That level of confidence and security is more sexy than any Thot-Fit you’ll ever see Rihanna wearing. Know who the fuck you are, and stop keeping score on the dick that other women are getting! If what you present in terms of personality when dating him isn’t enough to make him choose you over them, then he’s not who you should be with. Fucking him fast, breaking your next to go see him, being overly understanding, or biting your tongue when he disrespects you—those are weak bitch traits!
dont-hateCompetition for men is the main reason women can’t stand women. It’s not her fault if she got chose, and you are driving at 3am to bring him food because you are trying to get chose. Men are going to pick the woman they want to pick, and you dick desperate women are making it easy for him to side with other women because you aren’t a challenge. Even a guy who knows he looks good is at the mercy of those women that agree to slide off their underwear. Unlike girls, men can’t walk in the room, grab a chick by the hand, and hit that. We aren’t that powerful, yet for some reason you all think that’s the case. If a man is given a choice of a woman that bends over backwards, submits, and lets him move the ball up and down her field with no defense, he’s not going to say, “Damn, Shawna is a really nice woman, she really cares about me and never trips like the rest of these birds.” He’s going to use you until he can’t use you anymore. True love will never sprout unless you earn a certain level of respect! What’s so hard to understand about this? Let him sit there and gas you about how different you are and how he can see his self with a woman like you. In reality, he’s on the phone with a nigga like me telling me how you gave him the keys to your crib and he’s trying to decide if he should bring TayTay or ReRe over to the casa while you’re working the night shift. I’ve seen it from both sides of the fence, trust me, exploitation is real if you don’t set your boundaries and show these men your Power.
I will admit that a lot of men go into that ain’t shit mode when trying to get some… but I’m not even going to put it all on the ain’t shitness of men. If you bend over backwards, dumb down who you were raised to be, and allow a man to pull your strings because he looks better than your last four boyfriends than you deserve to get fucked. People are brought into your life for three things: To make you stronger by testing the areas where you are weak. To show you love in the times where you need it the most. To advance you from a level where you’ve learned all you can, and usher you onto the next. If you are a woman that’s constantly having her kindness exploited as weakness, then you need to thank that loser ass nigga for making you stronger. You can sit around and cry, threaten to go lesbian, or hate that girl who he ended up with your boo after you, but that doesn’t strengthen you. I have no sympathy for strong women who continuously revert to weak bitches as soon as they get good dick and great conversation. From the womb to the tomb, the reason you go through struggles is to understand what your flaws and improve upon them. If you aren’t evolving, then you’re wasting your life.
No Man Is An Exception
dick worshipI hate hearing, “but he’s different” because I hear that shit all the time. If your bae is different and her FWB is different and her situationship boo is different… then who the fuck is normal? He’s only different because he makes you thirst harder than you’ve ever thirsted before in your life. It’s not magic, it’s infatuation that leads to paranoia and makes you want to stalk his social networking pages and drive by his job to see if his car is in the parking lot. Some women are sneaky, and the reason I’m always answering the question, “How do I get my power back in the relationship” is because females know they fucked up when they rolled over for a man early in the relationship. You let him come in and own you, thinking that once those other women were no longer a threat, you would then show him who you really were—a strong independent woman who doesn’t take shit from no man! That motto may be your Twitter bio, but it damn sure isn’t who you are when that nigga is standing in front of you like, “Fuck you, I don’t have to come over anymore.” You can’t be half a Spartan! Let these dudes know that real women don’t react, they replace! Why are you sitting around worried about him not calling you or taking his talent’s to Keisha’s house? You can get another man, but you can’t get your dignity back, so decide what’s most important.
thirst pirateIf you know your personality can be a bit over bearing or that you’re hardened from past relationships, of course you tone it down when you’re getting to know a new person. Everyone fakes it on the first date, but to fake your way into a relationship as if you’re Suzie Simple is a lie that will have you stuck in that role for the duration of the relationship. A man’s biggest complaint is that women switch-up. Men cheat, distance themselves, or break it off because they don’t like the new you. That’s not a new you, it’s the real you trying to break free of the little girl personality you put on to keep him from choosing the next chick over you. Stop being slaves to dick as if men aren’t born every day, this shit is disgusting! None of these men are so special that you need to hide the woman you were born to be. No matter how bad you want a guy that looks like him and acts like him, you have to be willing to show your true self and trust that the personality you bring to the table be that corny, goofy, serious, or even ratchet is good enough. Either you are compatible or you aren’t compatible, never dumb down for a man to win him over or regret the person you are because you failed to win him over. Every key doesn’t fit every lock, and that’s a good thing because the shape you get yourself into mentally while going from lock to lock is what’s going to prepare you to appreciate what’s on the other side of the door when you finally find your match. You want love and you want it sooner than later because everyone seems to be lapping you in the love department, but I implore you to stop running the next woman’s race, and focus on your own journey.
Original Post : http://blackgirlsareeasy.com/2014/07/bae-envy.html
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
I have this theory that the Black Man's obsession with gun stems from their ancestral days in Africa when tribal leaders sold out their weaker neighbors into slavery for Guns and Ammunition. It is within my opinion that this is where the black's man association with gun as an emblem of power began. This is probably the reason why all if not most black men believe that in order to feel truly powerful or validated in their societies, they must possess, boast of or handle a gun. Even in modern day civil unrest in areas such Somalia and Rwanda, it is shameful to see how black men readily in complete ignorance and barbarism unite under the leadership of a gun toting, narcissistic leader and kill their own. Gun as a symbolism of power is probably " One of the Ghost in our Genes".
Perhaps our men's love for guns started on the Sugar plantation when they lost countless revolts because the militia had firearms and they did not. They somehow thought that if they had arms that they could overthrow the militia. Maybe if we browse through history we would see that in civil unrest, poor black people lose and chalked down their disadvantage to not having enough guns. Let us look at the Morant Bay Rebellion, Civil Rights Movement and recently Tivoli Gardens unrest. Somewhere in West Kingston some young thug is saying maybe, just maybe if we had more guns we would have won the war. It might explain the cycle crime," kill one today and next year ten more rise up. "
I have another theory that points to rumors of politically affiliated individuals arming our young men in garrison communities. These are merely supposition but when you bring guns instead of books to a community, you are not hoping to build knowledgeable, civil and unified people. We have pointed our children in the wrong way.
Some hypothesized that our young men's obsession and glorification of guns stems from a low self esteem and a need for social validation. What does a person value most? His life and the man who takes life is feared and revered for he deals with a side of humanity that most find unthinkable. Gangsters are idolized in movies and maybe our boys want to be idols in their own worlds. It strange how each of us search for something to make our lives worthwhile. Some end up searching for purpose on the path to destruction.
Gun seems to be aplenty in black societies more than food and books, i keep thinking how a place like Haiti riddled by poverty and yet guns are there in plenitude. It is strange that guns have destroyed black communities than build them up but who am i kidding we know that gun does not kill people, people kill people. I can only imagine what a world we would have if some black men were more interested in securing a book for possession, if the idea of going to school took precedence over hanging out on the corner. If our men did not think that the ability to be violent is the only way to identify and affirm their manhood. Black man have been brainwashed to seek substance in the wrong things.
I once suggested to a friend in a conversation about violence in our country and in black communities around the world that what if we had a policy that made it mandatory for our boys to be enlisted in the army? Their enrollment would include a brief sting in some hostile region of the world. I would love to see how many of our so-call "bad men" would be interested in such a expedition. I bet some of these terrorist are only interested in brandishing guns on defenseless, helpless and unsuspecting people. They could not manage a real war but "real badman" have no disinclination about hurting unarmed citizens who cannot defend themselves.
What can save us?
Education is the most powerful weapon one can use to change the world said Nelson Mandela. I am not talking our mis-education that we chase in order to improve status and to boast on our less informed denizen. A philosophical education that seeks to transcend our societies. An education that liberates the people in our communities. Too many people pursuing education for the wrong reason and when education does not brook " the easy life" they envision, they revert back to their old ways. A man not educated in morals is no education at all. This "wash up" version of education we are receiving is the reason education has not engendered the results we hoped for. Maybe if we could teach our youngsters that our people did not lose because they lacked access to guns but because they were disorganized, ill-prepared and sometimes betrayed in the past. Maybe if we taught them that no one wins in a war, that it is okay for someone to disagree with your opinion and that sometimes it is better to walk away from fight. We encouraged unity instead of competition and tribalism then we could finally get somewhere. Proper access to relationship is vital to advancing society.
Quote: To educate a man in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.
A rapper once said “even in you are in a suit and in benz” you are liable to be perceived as a career criminal first than anything else. It may seem that black people are accustom to overwhelming failure within our ranks that we believe the only way out has to be going on a path to destruction. It maybe because we measure success using rather high ideals. It does not matter how much you have accomplished in your individual struggles or life, your success is disregard if it is not materialized in dollars and cents. In other words if you are not driving some high end vehicle and flossing in the club then your success is treated with indifference. Success in today's world is celebrated only if it is commercialized.
A number of a older men in my small black community see success as the ability to put food on their table. Therefore these men will plant ground provisions in the hills so that they will have yams, banana and vegetables to sell to people like me. I support them for i know that they just want food on their table. It is not that they would not want to have a mansion and opulent cars but they have resigned themselves to accept their lives as it is and one claims that as long as he has a roof above his head and food to eat then he is quite okay. He values his freedom and his life that he will never allow the pursuit of wealth to send him to prison or "land him in a Grave".
My peers are of a different perspective, " Get Rich or Die Trying" they say. They refuse to sit by or follow the traditional routes to success which from their perspective is the accumulation of money and luxuries to enhance their living conditions. Some of our young men have a distinct idea of what success should be. They want to be superstars. They want to live like Lil Wayne and Chris Brown. Nothing is wrong with wanting to be a famous millionaire, it is just that these boys want it now. They want it overnight. They want a 'lottery kinda success' and this is what gets them into trouble. They do not want to spend the rest of their lives like their fathers cutting cane, working in the construction or hotel industry and end up dying a pauper. They want out!
It is a serious issue since our young men lack with the resources and opportunities to fulfill their aspirations often turn to other less noble means. An average man on the street is offended by the academical success of one of his peer and yet easily celebrates the sudden acquired rich status of those within his own cache. I have seen it a dozen times, “hype” people getting more attention and recognition than those who are working hard to pave the way for our advancement. It may mean that education is such a struggling path to success especially with many who cannot afford the college tuition. The man who "hustles" and gets rich gives these poor young boys hope that one can still be a superstar without getting any form of certification or education.
Some are of the opinion that coming out of slavery, these western societies did not prepare for the freedom and advancement of a black nation or its citizenry. Blacks were not initially expected to become a success but to be chained to the subservience and indignity they were originally brought to the Americas for. We are expected to fail from the get go for we are children of the soil.
Many Jamaican parents encourage children to pursue traditional employment such as the teacher, doctor or lawyer with scant regard for other careers especially ones that encourage entrepreneurial skills, innovation and invention. If a child says he/she wants to become a chemist so that he can make paper from trees, a black parent is nine out of ten times likely to discourage that child stating it is better to choose an orthodox career. We now have a nation of graduates with certifications waiting on someone else to provide jobs for them because they were socialized to pursue a job and not to create one.
Now Today's parents are ashamed of their twenty one year old who lives at home and does not own a high end vehicle like the neighbor's son with little regard for the way in which the neighbor's son might have procured his luxury vehicle. The child is considered unaccomplished despite the fact that he is an an artist and sells his paintings on the beach in Negril while an entire community glorifies his peer because he has money and therefore appears successful. Parent's have redefined success. Communities on a small scale have decided who deserves commendation and the standard for success. The social currency for advancement is no longer about how many hurdles one crossed to make it to the top, in fact ones does not need to be at the top, one simply needs to have money and live like those at the top.
We blame our children for this 'money over everything culture' that traps our young men in a cycle of imprisonment and death, we say they have bad values, but who taught them that success is centrally about making money? A lot of elders complain that they do not know what is wrong with today's black generation. I beg to ask them what was wrong with theirs? Children don't become what you want, they become who you are. Our elders should reflect upon what went wrong during the era when today's young adults were children. Maybe just maybe they might find the answers to the problems of this "generation". They raised a world of children who know the price of everything but the value of nothing. A money grabbing, instant gratification over profundity seeking and "step pon them" culture of people.Too many of us are invested in a perpetual need to be accepted by those at the top and we go about it the wrong way and thus have changed what true success is in the grand scheme of things . We need to find a way to merge our aspirations, build and foster success so that we no longer associate success with criminality.
Saturday, September 20, 2014
Friday, September 19, 2014
I am a female so i write from a female viewpoint. To write from a male perspective will be purely assumptive. I don't want to assume i know how MEN think. Remember am judging a man from his behavior not his intentions. therefore my points maybe faulty but consistency is the key. Once someone is continuously displaying a certain behavior then it will be interpreted as his honest intentions, no rationalizing around that.
Be realistic about your dating situation females. It means that you can find someone attractive, you might be dating someone but it does not mean it will lead to a relationship. The minute you begin to romanticize the situation, you create emotions that do not exist in reality and if things do not come out the way you want it, you are crushed. If you build up your expectations, it makes you vulnerable.
1. Consistency is essential. So when he says he is gonna call, He should call and not ten days later. If he is not calling then he has 'two' much on his plate or he is just not that into you.
2. A woman can pursue a man. Engage him, even spend money on a date but should expect some form mirroring. You cannot be putting in everything and he is not making any effort. You investing eighty in the relationship while he grudgingly ( after some argument) gives you twenty is a recipe for resentment and disappointments.
3. If you just started dating someone and it
feels like work. You are frustrated, angry, unsure and uncomfortable then it means you need some time off from that situation. Work with your instincts, you know more than you think you do. If your relationship or date is stressing you out then you need to call it quits.
4. Ladies say this aloud. I don't want you if you only want me for yourself. Sometimes you think you like someone but what you really like is the idea of them, what they represent , a figment of a fantasy. To find out if your affections are grounded in reality. Take a step back and allow destiny to take its course.
5. Don't sleep with men to make them fall in love with you. Sex is your bargaining power, once you give that away you no have nothing fe bargain with. Stop falling in love with the idea of a relationship. Whatever issues you having with him, sex won't fix it, if it is good he will come around when he wants it an still not give himself to you. A man can be very intimate with you and still never give into you. He is not in love, he is just a good lover.
6. Never feel bad for walking away from a bad relationship. A woman normally walk away when she try too many times to make it work. If you stayed you woulda feel worst, trapped and bitter with someone who under appreciate you. Best to try with someone new.
7. Love without expectation. When you meet someone it is not a good idea to cut off other men become exclusive to the idea of a relationship. Still keep seeing other people, keeps your grounded in the reality of your feelings and filters some of the wistful romantic fantasies in your head. Too many times women develop feelings for a fantasy and not for the man but do not necessarily know the difference.
8. Going clubbing and Partying might be a good way to meet someone new but in reality most men who go out to these events are "hunting". They are looking someone to take home. Try looking for a partner at some other events that do not include liquor, rowdy crowd and raunchy music. Try some other social scenes where you can run into people who might share you passions.
9. If you do not want a man. Do not take his money. Do not encourage him in any way. Be polite but firm and say that you are not interested. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you do not want him. Do not lead him on. It could lead to your own demise.
10. It is equally your responsibility to make your dating experience fun.
If you develop a mindset where you want to sit and wait for someone else to do something to make you feel blissful on your date then you are in for disappointments. Do your part and the rest will fall in place and if it doesn’t, then it was not meant to be. Your attitude should be “regardless of what happens, i will try to enjoy myself”, a positive attitude will encourage positive results.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Monday, September 8, 2014
STEAMY EXCERPT FROM CRYSTAL EVANS' NEW NOVEL GHETTO SLAM
Get it online and in store October 2014
#STEAMY EXCERPT FROM CRYSTAL EVANS' NEW NOVEL #GHETTO SLAM
#Get it online and in store October 2014
Kitty leaned into the strong body of the twenty one year old who was the culprit of many a sleepless nights thinking about his enormous package. He was there in front of her, not a figment of her imagination anymore and even though he was not as handsome as she envisioned him, the aura he gave off augmented the sexual chemistry between them
He peered down at her, an amused look on his face. Some women would have been intimidate by his big burly look but not Kitty. She thought about how a man like him would have been feared and revered in medieval times for this tall, bulky appearance. He would have made a grand warrior, big and brave like Hercules.
She trailed his dark brown lips with her hand. There was something unmistakably alluring about him. It was true that when you genuinely connected with someone,even their physical flaws are appealing. Kitty would never admit that she found a big belly, hairy face and knock knees attractive.
She crooned, gazing up into his handsome face. " So tell me what does it feel like being all the way up there."
He snapped his neck back and his lips pulled back into smile that exposed big white teeth. He could fell a tree with them. He asked in a low drawl " A just me height you love?"
Kitty lips curled into a seductive smile. " No!"
He fingered her hair and albeit he looked somewhat reluctant. Kitty knew he was worried about screwing the Councillor's wife and needed assurance. He was a big boy but Kitty knew she was looking into the eyes of a child.
He was a shy boy but those feral eyes betrayed a seething danger that could be aroused by a measurable offence.. Kitty took the box out of her pocket and handed him the G-Shock watch. He took it with his long fingers and Kitty thought about how those fingers would feel inside of her.
He laughed and examined the Watch like a prepubescent boy looking at a new Toy.
Kitty asked. " You can take it home? I thought long and hard about buying it cause I wasn't sure. Don't want you to have any problems at home"
Gary gazed into her eyes and Kitty maintained contact. A mutual understanding passed between them and he smiled, never looking away. Kitty shuddered, this soul searching was melting her "like butter inna morning sun"
He was not a dumb boy and he was good at what he did. Kitty knew instantly how he got that pretty girl to commit to him. He exuded a level of sincerity that most modern men lack. He was not just the type of man who used money, he had immeasurable charm, he listened and he responded. When he thinks you are scolding him, he makes penance. This horse could still be broken and if he ever crossed Kitty, she would not hesitate to throw him off like the Jockey he was.
Kitty touched her lips against his lightly and jumped back at how he quickly and aggressively shoved his tongue into her mouth. He wiped his mouth and kitty not wanting him to misinterpret her gesture, reassured him. " No not like that Big tongue! Am gonna teach you some things and then you gonna go home and teach your little girlfriend."
He chuckled and Kitty leaned into his big strong chest. "Follow my lead. Big boy"
Kitty licked his lips. He smiled and she gently bit his bottom lip, tugging it softly. His eyes darkened and pupil's contracted. Kitty ran her tongue across his inner lip, barely brushing his teeth. She gave him three, short, consecutive kisses and then plunged her tongue into his mouth. She found his tongue slippery and course, the dance in her Buccal Cavity left her wet and horny. She thrust her hands into his pants and found the half-hard, heavy piece of flesh folded. She massaged it and he deepened the kiss.
Kitty opened her eyes to check his face and his eyes were open, gauging her response and she closed her eyes so that he could have his fill of her. Kitty moved over to stoop atop him in the driver seat. She unzipped his pants and took out the giant member that flew out like an escapee from prison.
Kitty ran her tongue alongside its cylindrical side, he gasped and she took its head in the mouth and twirl her tongue around it. She gave his penis cat-like kisses and at intervals slobbered all over it like a dog. She worked her snake like tongue and sent tremors through his young, strong body.
Kitty did not remember her panties coming off. He must have removed them when she was kissing his sword for she felt his long fingers stroking her wet Pum Pum. She kneed before his gun and wiped the Rifle clean.
In two, swift, fluidic motions he was on top of Kitty and sinking his large phallus inside of her tight sheath. Kitty convulsed as a paroxysm of pleasure consumed her and within minutes they collapse on the driver's seat, languid and wet. Kitty was on cloud nine.
He said in a husky voice. "That was interesting!"
Kitty shot him an angry look and he heaved himself off her knocking his head on the roof of the Jeep before planting a wet kiss on her forehead. He took a pack of wipes out of the Glove compartment box and handed them to Kitty as he wiped himself up. Kitty was embarrassed and cleaned his sex fluids off her body in a chilling silence.
The reality of what took place dawn on her. She screwed this twenty one year old in his Harrier Jeep on the Housing Scheme her husband was developing. What kind of woman did that? Now he probably saw her as a woman who sucked little boy's dicks and bought them gifts. A respectable woman being slammed in a Jeep on some abandoned road by a little hype boy. Kitty glanced at his dick and she wanted more. He gave her a longing look and smiled. He knew he had done his job well. That dick took Kitty places Tom could never reach and she wanted more. He gave her a derisive look and Kitty confirmed that he knew the power of his sexual prowess. He grinned and Kitty looked away for tears threatened to brim her eyelids. She was a grown woman acting like a horny teenager. She hurriedly dressed while he sat in his seat checking the messages on his phone. Kitty was just another name in his little Ghetto ass black book. She shrugged and said in a clipped, officious tone.
" Am ready, please take me to my car!"
He threw her a fleeting glance and dropped the phone on his lap. "No problem, Miss Big Woman" he replied in a sardonic tone. Kitty smiled, she would rather be caught dead than let him see how much his after sex indifference ruffled her feathers. She was a boss chick and even though his dick game was un par, ain't no way he was gonna make a fool out of her
Saturday, September 6, 2014
#20 Important Things Every Woman Should Know About Her Vagina
1.While men do pee out of the penis, women do not pee out of the vagina. Know your anatomy. There are three holes and countless other sexy structures. Find your way around on the Pretty Pink Punani Tour. Get a hand mirror and go to town.
2.The punani or the more correct Vagina, doesn’t connect to your lung. If you lose something in there, don’t worry. Reach in all the way and pull it out. Do not- I repeat- do not, go hunting for whatever you’ve lost with a pair of plyers. If you think you put something in there and you can’t find it, chances are good that it’s simply not there. Think of your vagina as being like a sock. If you lose a banana in a sock…it stays in the sock.
3. Yes, it’s true- your vagina can fall out. Not to belabor the sock metaphor, but it can turn inside out just like a worn out sweat sock and hang between your legs as you get older. But don’t fret- this condition- called pelvic prolapse- can be fixed.
4. There’s no such thing as being #revirginized. Once you lose it, it’s gone. Just so you know.
5. You can catch sexually transmitted diseases even if you use a condom. Sorry to break it to you, but skin of the vulva can still touch infectious skin of the scrotum- and BAM! Warts. Herpes. Molluscum contagiosum. So pick your partners carefully.
6. The vagina is like a bicep. Use it or lose it. If you don’t have a partner, pick up a battery-operated boyfriend to help keep things healthy as you age. But don’t worry- it’s usually not an issue until after menopause, when fragile vaginal tissue can scar and shrink. If properly tended, your vagina will be able to pleasure you until the day you leave this life.
7. Every vulva is different and special. Some lips hang down. Some are tucked up neatly inside. All are beautiful. Don’t even think about labiaplasty or “vaginal rejuvenation surgery.” You’re perfect just the way you are.
8. Most women don’t have orgasms from intercourse alone. The clitoris is where the action is. Most women who do orgasm during sex have figured out how to hit with sweet spot, either from positioning or from directly stimulation of the clitoris with fingers.
9. If you’re hunting for your G Spot, be patient. Stimulating this area usually requires more time and deeper stimulation than most people think. Try using a finger in a “come hither” motion to stimulate the front wall of the vagina, where the G spot lives. If you can’t find it, don’t worry. You’re not alone. Many can’t- and it’s definitely not critical to having a a fulfilling romp in the hay.
10. Pleasurable sex is your birthright, and painful sex is NOT normal. 20 million women suffer from painful sex and most never seek help. (If you’re one of these women, get help here.)
11. The vagina doesn’t need to be douched. As Eve Ensler says, ““My vagina doesn’t need to be cleaned up. It smells good already. Don’t try to decorate. Don’t believe him when he tells you it smells like rose petals when it’s supposed to smell like pussy. That’s what they’re doing – trying to clean it up, make it smell like bathroom spray or a garden. All those douche sprays – floral, berry, rain. I don’t want my pussy to smell like rain. All cleaned up like washing a fish after you cook it. I want to taste the fish. That’s why I ordered it.”
12. The only cancer a Pap smear screens for is cervical cancer. It doesn’t check your ovaries, your uterus, or your colon.
13. How much vaginal discharge you make varies widely. Some normal, healthy women spew loads of discharge and need to wear panty liners every day. Others are bone dry. As long as you are not at risk of STD’s and you have no itching, burning, or odor, you’re probably just fine. If in doubt, see your gynecologist.
14. Menstrual blood is supposed to clot, so don’t freak out. Usually, what you think are clots are just pieces of uterine lining. As long as you’re not losing too much blood, small clots during your period need not concern you. Clots are just nature’s way of keeping you from bleeding too much. Blood is supposed to clot. It’s when the clots are large or you start to hemorrhage that we start to worry.
15. Lots of vaginas need help lubing up during sex, especially as you get older. Don’t be afraid to slick on some lubricant like K-Y Jelly or Astroglide (coconut oil is a great natural lubricant, but don’t blame me if you find yourself hankering for a post-coital macaroon).
16. Vaginal farts (some call them “queefs” or “varts”) happen to almost all women at one time or another, especially during sex or other forms of exercise. Don’t be embarrassed. You’re perfectly normal.
17. Vaginas stretch out when you have babies vaginally. It’s natural but it can leave you feeling a bit loosey goosey. Kegel exercises (contracting the muscles of the vagina) really do help. To do them, practice stopping the stream of urine when you pee. There- that’s the muscle! Now contract and relax it 10 X for three or more sets several times per day.
18. Some women do ejaculate during orgasm, but you’re normal if you don’t. The controversial “female ejaculation” most likely represents 2 different phenomena. If it’s a small amount of milky fluid, it likely comes from the paraurethral glands inside the urethra. If it’s a cup, it’s probably pee. Many times, it may be a little bit of both. But don’t stress out about peeing on yourself. Put a towel under you and surrender to the experience.
19. Sex shouldn’t hurt, but it does for many women. If you’re one of those women, see your doctor. So many women are too embarrassed to say anything, so they suffer in silence. There are things you can do to help.
20. Safe sex (or even just orgasm alone) is good for you. Benefits include lowering your risk of heart disease and stroke,[i] reducing your risk of breast cancer,[ii] blostering your immune system,[iii] helping you sleep,[iv] making you appear more youthful,[v] improving your fitness,[vi] Regulating menstrual cycles, [vii][viii] relieving menstrual cramps,[ix] relieving chronic pain,[x][xi][xii] reducing the risk of depression,[xiii]lowering stress levels,[xiv][xv] and improving self esteem.[xvi] So go at it ladies!
HOPE THIS WAS HELPFUL!!