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“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie



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Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Jamaican men do not want any good woman!

Remember when you were going to high school and you thought if you had your degree and good job, nice house and great financial prospect that you would be beating eligible men off you with a stick. You would have so many men, good bad and the indifferent vying for your hand in marriage. 

Ratchets would not even be much of a competition with your good education, big bank account and good looks. They could take whatever you did not want and even then your man was in an eternal swing of insecurity for someone as good as you could find someone better at any given time. 

Fast Forward ten years later and you realize that half the men you thought would be swimming the Atlantic Ocean alongside sharks and climbing Mount Everest barefeet to get this worthy woman hand will quickly pass you over for a chick who thinks parliamentarians speak a different language. 

You will quickly find out that wearing your natural hair and sporting a make up free face only attracts less desirable men and not the kind of men you suppose would be remotely interested in someone who was being real and progressive. It might seem to the educated, savvy and " keeping it real women" that men are more into the women who want to party, have sex and get high. 
While this might be the case, the main issue here is that the men who are considered ideal partners are no where near ready to settle down. That is the quandary that most women find themselves in, the guy who is your best is looking for better. As a matter of fact since he is not ready to settle down and he knows that you are looking for a serious relationship and he will stare clear of all women who want ring and babies. 

He will opt for women who can settle for his type of relationships and he is not willing to raise his standards because he is not looking to commit. It is very easy to treat women who are ratchets badly. You do not have to be nice to them for it is public Knowlege what they are about. Men do not have to call back ratchets or pay them any attention for it is an unspoken guy code that women whose reputations are compromise get the shitty end of the stick and I mean literally. 

It is not that these Jamaican do not want a good woman, they are just not ready to committ or settle. The ideal Jamaican man is like a child in a toy store. He sees too many women he wants, older women, younger women and teenagers. Why will he settle for you when he can have fifty others? Some men do not even know how to treat, regard and deal with a good woman. In that case please forgive them. 

What should the woman who want a good man do after she has worked hard to achieve and considers herself deserving of an ideal man. Should she just throw the towel in and settle for a compromised ideal or should she wait until ideal men grow up, have erectile dysfunction or some terminal illness? Some men are lifetime bachelors and they will never settle, they might even marry but they always have another girl. 

The strong independent woman might have to reevaluate her relationship needs. Maybe she needs to go over that checklist. She knows that half the wistful romantic notions she embraced are only in a bubble. Maybe it is time to pop that bubble open. 

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