“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Stop Hating on Other women because You cannot get a Man!
Show me a lonely girl with a Wi-Fi connection, a dry phone, and a pussy that hasn’t been ate since Chrissy was on Love & Hip Hop and I’ll show you a hater. These bitter Basica’s develop insomnia trying to rally the internet around their, “Niggas ain’t shit” pity party and “These hoes holding us back” campaign. In reality the only one holding these girls back are their attitudes. Still, these type of women are quick to roll their eyes and hiss, “What I got to be jealous of.” Okay, if you want to play dumb and not take a hard look in the mirror, I’m going to tell you exactly what you’re jealous of. You think you deserve what other women have based on the fact that you are you, but when you do an assessment of your love life, you don’t have what they have, you have Netflix and Snapchat, and that bothers the fuck out of you.
Kermit-shadeYou went to college—you deserve dick and flowers. You have a career—you deserve dick, flowers, and a commitment. You don’t have sex fast and love Jesus—you deserve dick, flowers, commitment, and an engagement ring. Wake the fuck up, pridezilla! Nobody in this world is going to pat you the fucking back except the people that raised you. When it comes to dating, men don’t give a fuck about your 401K, your GPA, or if you were born a water sign. He’s looking at you thinking what makes you worth keeping, and unfortunately for you book smart overachievers, those intangibles can’t be learned in a classroom. These seemingly low caliber women in their crayola leggings and colored contacts probably can’t read a book aloud without butchering words. However, before your pass judgment on those women who are supposed to be your sisters, recognize what she can do is attain the attention of every man in the room and keep it, and that’s a trait that takes a lot more than ass size and weave length. If you take pride in your accomplishments then be happy with the academic or career level you’ve reached, but don’t launch your credentials as if you’re supposed to get a reserved seat at Club Chose. Men don’t choose the best resume; they choose the best character that matches their own.
What it ultimately boils down to is that some women try to think like men in order to guess what a man really wants. HA! Women are even shallower than men when it comes to looks, but of course they are much more willing to reward if he’s attractive in other areas. Job security, ambition, goals, education, loyalty, spiritual connection, those can upgrade a man in a woman’s book. Therefore, when these ladies that I’m referring to think about what men SHOULD want, they assume they are after those same things. Logically a man can want eye candy, but he should be just as concerned with those positives I just listed as well. However, as a man I know that shit is far from the truth. Men don’t give extra brownie points for any of that shit. I’ve dined with goons and executives alike, and when we get into our “boys only” talks about pussy, no one brings up “her lofty goals and ambitious drive really makes my dick hard.” Is she charismatic, does she look good, can you handle herself in a back and forth conversation without sucking her teeth? That’s worth more than all the oil in Iraq. Men, real men not the new niggas y’all bum around with who are looking for sugar mamas, know that they get or will get money, so a woman getting money is not that big on the list. If she can help up his stock, great, but unless a man is an opportunist he’s not trying to use his girl for her connects, because he can create his own. What I’m driving at is that as long as I’ve been writing BGAE, a vast majority of women still don’t get how quality men actually think and choose their women. They expect special treatment because they aren’t ratchet, aren’t Hoish, and don’t have children, then get angry with other women who they view as lesser pull off “miracles” in the man department. For the last time, I’m going to break down how this world spins, and please, no matter how many times you want to roll your eyes, keep them motherfuckers on the screen because you may miss something that the girl you want to direct that Kermit meme towards already figured out.
Why are you being passive aggressive about women getting bae’d up unless there were serious bae envy going on? Bae envy exists because there is allegedly such a huge man drought that women get in their feelings when they can’t land a Is Shit nigga. Let’s tackle the subject of extremely good looking, seemingly well adjusted, and gainfully employed men, because those are the ones that cause the animosity. If your first thought was, “Shit, where you find those at.” Then log the fuck off. Yes, they exist and after me drilling in the mantra of You Must Chris Brown Proof Your Pussy, women still can’t Spartan Up around a pretty dude. There is an epidemic where women lower their standards as to how they need to be treated in order to date, fuck, or commit to a man that has Super Saiyan Swag. Women go from Oprah to Oh we don’t have to go out, we can order in, so they won’t drive that man away. You refer to a man as “not all that” in your head, then treat him as if he came out of Princess Kate’s vagina. Why? Because you want him to want you, so you can finally be happy! If you don’t do those things, you are convinced that a man that fine or successful will leave you right where he found you. Fear of being cut off makes you paranoid when you date these men, it makes you depressed when you get passed up by these men, and ultimately leaves you bitter when you see other women flaunt these men as their own.
Women blackmail themselves. When confronted with a guy they like, they downgrade their power and submit without that dude even testing her gangster. I’ve talked to multiple girls who have fucked as soon as a guy tested her dick discipline because those men happened to be a few steps above the other guys that she had been attracting, and didn’t want them to lose interest. These men aren’t doing anything special, yet girls are tripping over themselves to accommodate them because they are afraid other women will slide in. My response to that is: Why the fuck are you worried about the next bitch? If you think he’s sexy, at least a handful of other women in your community will feel the same, and half of them will fuck him just for being thoughtful enough to speak. SO WHAT!?! I don’t care if you live in Atlanta or any other city where Women outnumber men, you can’t ever blackmail yourself into doing the most to keep a man’s attention because there are other women breathing down his neck. My friend posted a picture of herself looking into a reflection and it read “My only competition.” That level of confidence and security is more sexy than any Thot-Fit you’ll ever see Rihanna wearing. Know who the fuck you are, and stop keeping score on the dick that other women are getting! If what you present in terms of personality when dating him isn’t enough to make him choose you over them, then he’s not who you should be with. Fucking him fast, breaking your next to go see him, being overly understanding, or biting your tongue when he disrespects you—those are weak bitch traits!
dont-hateCompetition for men is the main reason women can’t stand women. It’s not her fault if she got chose, and you are driving at 3am to bring him food because you are trying to get chose. Men are going to pick the woman they want to pick, and you dick desperate women are making it easy for him to side with other women because you aren’t a challenge. Even a guy who knows he looks good is at the mercy of those women that agree to slide off their underwear. Unlike girls, men can’t walk in the room, grab a chick by the hand, and hit that. We aren’t that powerful, yet for some reason you all think that’s the case. If a man is given a choice of a woman that bends over backwards, submits, and lets him move the ball up and down her field with no defense, he’s not going to say, “Damn, Shawna is a really nice woman, she really cares about me and never trips like the rest of these birds.” He’s going to use you until he can’t use you anymore. True love will never sprout unless you earn a certain level of respect! What’s so hard to understand about this? Let him sit there and gas you about how different you are and how he can see his self with a woman like you. In reality, he’s on the phone with a nigga like me telling me how you gave him the keys to your crib and he’s trying to decide if he should bring TayTay or ReRe over to the casa while you’re working the night shift. I’ve seen it from both sides of the fence, trust me, exploitation is real if you don’t set your boundaries and show these men your Power.
I will admit that a lot of men go into that ain’t shit mode when trying to get some… but I’m not even going to put it all on the ain’t shitness of men. If you bend over backwards, dumb down who you were raised to be, and allow a man to pull your strings because he looks better than your last four boyfriends than you deserve to get fucked. People are brought into your life for three things: To make you stronger by testing the areas where you are weak. To show you love in the times where you need it the most. To advance you from a level where you’ve learned all you can, and usher you onto the next. If you are a woman that’s constantly having her kindness exploited as weakness, then you need to thank that loser ass nigga for making you stronger. You can sit around and cry, threaten to go lesbian, or hate that girl who he ended up with your boo after you, but that doesn’t strengthen you. I have no sympathy for strong women who continuously revert to weak bitches as soon as they get good dick and great conversation. From the womb to the tomb, the reason you go through struggles is to understand what your flaws and improve upon them. If you aren’t evolving, then you’re wasting your life.
No Man Is An Exception
dick worshipI hate hearing, “but he’s different” because I hear that shit all the time. If your bae is different and her FWB is different and her situationship boo is different… then who the fuck is normal? He’s only different because he makes you thirst harder than you’ve ever thirsted before in your life. It’s not magic, it’s infatuation that leads to paranoia and makes you want to stalk his social networking pages and drive by his job to see if his car is in the parking lot. Some women are sneaky, and the reason I’m always answering the question, “How do I get my power back in the relationship” is because females know they fucked up when they rolled over for a man early in the relationship. You let him come in and own you, thinking that once those other women were no longer a threat, you would then show him who you really were—a strong independent woman who doesn’t take shit from no man! That motto may be your Twitter bio, but it damn sure isn’t who you are when that nigga is standing in front of you like, “Fuck you, I don’t have to come over anymore.” You can’t be half a Spartan! Let these dudes know that real women don’t react, they replace! Why are you sitting around worried about him not calling you or taking his talent’s to Keisha’s house? You can get another man, but you can’t get your dignity back, so decide what’s most important.
thirst pirateIf you know your personality can be a bit over bearing or that you’re hardened from past relationships, of course you tone it down when you’re getting to know a new person. Everyone fakes it on the first date, but to fake your way into a relationship as if you’re Suzie Simple is a lie that will have you stuck in that role for the duration of the relationship. A man’s biggest complaint is that women switch-up. Men cheat, distance themselves, or break it off because they don’t like the new you. That’s not a new you, it’s the real you trying to break free of the little girl personality you put on to keep him from choosing the next chick over you. Stop being slaves to dick as if men aren’t born every day, this shit is disgusting! None of these men are so special that you need to hide the woman you were born to be. No matter how bad you want a guy that looks like him and acts like him, you have to be willing to show your true self and trust that the personality you bring to the table be that corny, goofy, serious, or even ratchet is good enough. Either you are compatible or you aren’t compatible, never dumb down for a man to win him over or regret the person you are because you failed to win him over. Every key doesn’t fit every lock, and that’s a good thing because the shape you get yourself into mentally while going from lock to lock is what’s going to prepare you to appreciate what’s on the other side of the door when you finally find your match. You want love and you want it sooner than later because everyone seems to be lapping you in the love department, but I implore you to stop running the next woman’s race, and focus on your own journey.
Original Post : http://blackgirlsareeasy.com/2014/07/bae-envy.html