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“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

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Sunday, September 14, 2014

Finding a Good Relationship Partner in Jamaica




I had a rather interested conversation with a male friend a while ago and him a say him want a good woman. Man a say them want a good woman and woman a say them want a good man. It is not that good people are not out there it is just that everybody feel them deserve better. So every man and woman a scout for an upgrade. 

Everybody a play fool to somebody for we all a chase people who we think a our better and then these people a run down some other people weh them feel say a fe them better. 

Better has a lot to do with value too for a college graduate might think she should be better to a ghetto youth whose better is a light skin girl.  So she end up a chase a man who will never see her value more than skin deep cause he has an entirely different value system and criteria for his relationship. It is not that the girl values less, her attributes are simply not worth anything in this ghetto youth eyes. 

It all boils down to valuing yourself. You cannot force someone to validate you. If someone does not see your worth at face value it is futile to invest time in trying to convince them that you are their better. That is something they have to work out for themselves. 

We are as fake about our relationship as we are about life. We don't want "better"! We don't want Mr/Mrs right and we sure don't want good enough, we simply want somebody who other people want and cannot get. We want to conquer and monopolize. We want a challenge. We want someone to trophize like our house and our cars. We want to win the best person for ourselves. 

Love in the modern world is not about sincerity, it is a competition and the prize companion has every suitor eating out of the palms of his/hers hands. 

It is funny how women say them want a good man and when they say that they don't mean them want a man who can love them, take care of their essential needs and provide a convenient life. 

A good man is a man with money to spend. A good man is a man who can bring her the world. A good man is a man with surplus money to spend. This might explain why the "money man" have ten girls jumping through hoops to become his first draft pick. While on the contrary, the man who calls a girl on a regular, text and offers to buy her lunch is considered an idiot and taken for granted. Why? She would rather earns someone else love, work overtime to convince another to love her than accept the free will love in front of her. Love that comes easy is not valued much. 

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