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“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

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Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Five Qualities of a Good Sidechick

Kermit the Frog has been calling out Side Chicks for being foolish enough to remain committed to some other girl’s man but we know that life is never as textbook and side chicks do become main chicks and wives.

Here are five qualities the other woman who becomes a wife has that greatly boost her status from being the girl on the side to his number chick. Remember the man who cheats on his partner for you might be inclined to do the same thing to you. More so the mistress who becomes a wife, leaves a vacancy for another woman to fill.


If he is sleeping with you and not with her then at least make the few moments he spends with you be worthwhile. Do not be harassing him, nagging him and complaining. Chances are he is already dealing with that at home. When he comes to you, he needs to feel relaxed. It might sound offensive but side chicks are often respite for some men who want to get away from the routine of their lives and do something adventurous and risque.

Transparency is the name of the game. Listen he knows that he is already committed to someone else but he also needs to know that he can trust you with his life. Which means you are expected to understand your place when it comes to him. It means you will not cause him trouble with his “routine life” such as calling him at home or on holidays, or late at nights. Cool indifference with a lovemaking is the side chick weaponry. Men hate display of insecurities.

Do not bring any drama into his life. The worst thing you can do is try to fight your way into the number one spot by confronting his wife or blackmailing him. He will drop you faster than a bad habit. Men in relationships only leave their partners if their sidepiece are considered an upgrade like the Ghost and Angela situation in Starz Series Power. A sensible man will not leave the frying pant for a tumble in the fire.

Do not get your hopes up for a permanent relationship. It will make you do crazy things. Do not assume that because he buys you nice things and he is available when you call that you are his A game. He is giving someone else less attention so he can sugarcoat you and keep you committed to him while he goes back to his other life.

One of the ways a side chick can keep her head levelled is by working, doing something for herself. It will add points to her self esteem and she might decide that she is worth being a husband than someone side piece. A good main chick or down low side chick knows when to call it quits. If you feel yourself slipping and realize that you are in deep waters then it may be time to walk away. No not confront him, walk away. If you find yourself stalking him on facebook, watching the phone, daydreaming about him suddenly leaving her for you then those are serious red flags that you need to get out and get some counselling.

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