“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Every Man Deserves a Good Jacket!
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I was halfway on my journey when a hand grabbed my elbow from the forestry side of the trail, I screamed and he clamped his hand over my mouth.
“ Eh gyal a wah happen you? You a ediat? You want wake up the whole community?”
He released me and lighted a piece of scliff fixed between his pink lips. “ Come on no or you change your mind?” He put on weight, the hoodie made him look bigger but his belly was getting huge, he was looking at me with those intense dark eyes. You could get lost in those licorice pools.
I trudged alongside him and he kept his hands in his hoodie pocket. “ How you a move like you fraid so?”
I laughed. “ It is the middle of the night plus your lifestyle is very high risk so I have to be afraid”
He chuckled. “ No fraid inna you own area? Nobody can’t diss my link. You no see how mi big. You think me fraid a people”
“ Bullet cut bigger than you and me down to size”
The moon was big and round, it cast shadows upon us from the surrounding trees. It rained earlier and the ground was wet and the air fresh. It was the most romantic walk of my life and I wished it would last forever. Just me and my boo alone in the world beneath the moonlight and the stars. We approached his house and he asked me to walk behind him. He opened the backdoor and ushered me inside. His room was as I remembered it, bed neatly spread, air condition unit low, plasma Tv on Cable Channel and a couple Abercrombie shirts with tags on the bed. He sat on the bed and looked up at me. I slept in this room several nights before but now I felt like a stranger particularly since he had recently invited someone else into our bed. I did not feel as if I belonged there anymore.
He touched the pad on the side of his phone with his thumb several times and placed the phone under his pillow. He removed the hoodie to reveal a trimmed, twisted hairstyle. “What happen?”
He stood up and I was peering up at his face. He must have gotten a foot taller or maybe it was the platform wallabees on his feet that added a few inches to his height. He trailed my eyes and immediately took his shoe off and kicked them underneath the bed. He licked his lips and began massaging my belly in circular movements. I was scared. “What you a do?”
A lazy smile played on his lips. He was melting my defenses. “Me want water the baby head”
I gently slapped his hand away and sat on the bed. “Me can’t play with you again? Through me nah drive Honda. Memba say me use to have one so if a Honda you want, you can get it”
His eyes narrowed into dark slits. I giggled unable to contain myself. He had a vicious sense of humour. He would tell you a joke without as much as a grin and that added greater impact to its effect. I was enjoying myself and he looked dead serious.
“Is a laughing thing you take this fah” He demanded, the corners of his lips twitched.
I was madly in love with this man. “No.”
He said in a husky voice, barely audible. “Take off your clothes make me see your new sexy shape!”. My skin tingled and I undressed for him to see. He smiled and rubbed his hands, a pasty complexion brought on by the bleaching over my distended abdomen. “ You never know say baby mother shape a the sexiest shape?”
He stifled my giggles with a saccharine kiss. Oh how I loved this man. The gangsta who kissed, it couldn’t get any better than that. I felt loved and I was happy again. Happier than I had been in months. I gave myself to him and he took me to places only he could for he was the love of my life and he could do no wrong in my eyes.
My belly growled and I looked up at his face etched with concern. “You hungry” He asked in a low tone.
I nodded, afraid that words would damage this wonderful moment. He swung his feet to the floor in one smooth motion, naked as the day he was born. He quickly pulled up his underpants and disappeared into the kitchen.
I heard a click and then the burr of the microwave. Two minutes later, he was standing over me with a tray. On it was KFC chicken, a small dish of rice and peas and a glass of orange juice. I ate the food quickly and he sat alongside the bed with his head hung. He picked up his pants and hoodie, he got dressed and I wished I had not ate my food with such alacrity for I sensed our night had come to an end.
He spoke. “Hurry up make me follow you back before you people them miss you.”
I slammed the fork on the tray and almost sailed it onto the bed. What the hell did he think he was doing? He boomed. “That’s why you see me can’t deal with you and your style. We make a little move and you start gwaan with your foolishness”
I dressed quickly, trying to fight back the tears that threaten to flood my face. He sat on the bed, shoulders slouched. I got dressed and stood looking at him with his shoulder slumped, deep in thought. He looked up at me; lips slightly opened and pinched my cheeks. I shrugged his hands off and he got up and strolled towards the backdoor.
“Where is your Van?
He pointed to the side of the house and I saw the grill on the front of Vitara glistened in the moonlight.
“You will be okay coming back by yourself?”
He gave me a boyish grin and his eyes lit up by the match he stroke so that I could see his features. “Look pon me face. Me look like smady weh fraid to you?”
I dialed my sister’s number but it rang without an answer.
“You sister not answering?”
I shook my head and a text message came in.
He queried. “ A she that?”
“Yes she say the back door open”
He stood half way in the path and ushered me on with a peck on the forehead. “ When you reach in text me or call me make me know what a gwaan?”
I hurried onto the road and when I reached the street light, I spun around for I felt eyes on me and he was standing in the middle of the road watching me saunter through my gate. I smiled for I thought he had gone back to his place. I was happy to be home but I worried for his safety for he was going back through the bushes alone. I climbed the steps and an angry male voice resonated. “ A weh you think you a go? Gwaan back a you man yard. You is a worthless gyal. Tommorrow take your things them and gwaan up a your mother cause this kind of lifestyle won’t work here. You turning into a little slut. Gwaan back weh you a come from.”
I turned back and sprinted out the yard. My father was crazy if he thought he could hurt me by sending me away, they were the sweetest words to my ear. I reached the shortcut in record time to see Jerr walking hurriedly, hugging himself through the dew wet grass. I shouted “Jerr!!!!”and he spun around, I hurried to him and his facial muscles were tensed. His eyes blazed. “ A wah happen?”
I shuddered for I was cold and tired, I needed a warm bed. “My father say me must gwaan back weh me a come from.”
He kicked at the grass. “My girl you can’t sleep a me yard. You can’t stay with me cause me have a new woman and she pregnant”
My eyes burnt. “What you trying to say? So me anno you baby mother?”
He plodded the trek in the cold night and I knew he was angry because he mumbled expletives long from here to Spanish Town.
He fumbled with the backdoor key and when the door opened, he held it ajar so that I could go inside. His eyes shot daggers at me like he did earlier that day. He was upset. I crawled into bed in my blouse and turned my back to him. I cried in the pillow and he cleared his throat. I knew he heard my sobs for he let out another string of profanities. I didn’t know when I fell asleep but it was still dark when he woke me up. He threw my pants on me on the bed. “ Yow you haffi leave before daylight cause me people them don’t want see me and you together”
I pulled my pants up and sat down to put my slippers on when I realized that one foot ‘pop out’. He held me up underneath my arms and forcibly shoved me through the backdoor. I held up my broken slipper in my hand and he slammed the door in my face. I stood out there for a few minutes then made my way down the shortcut for I did not want people to see me walking bare feet this early in the morning.