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Crystal Evans Books

“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie



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Saturday, January 4, 2014

The Art of Showing People how little we care

"Indeed my brother. I am going through a tumultuous time in my life but like Nelson Mandela I have planted my feet towards the sun even when all indicates that I should lose all faith in our humanity. I will still carry on believing that this universe is slowly, gradually conspiring to bring my wish for this nation into fruition. "

#Crystal Evans Jamaica 

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Despite the despair that I have experienced in my life, I am convinced even if it is only a a fantasy, a figment of my imagination that everything that has happened in my life is for a reason. I am destined for a transcending experience. I take a oath to be committed to my humanity. 

I am positive. I am a fighter ..everything that has happened in my life up to this point is preparing me for this moment. I do not know what it is but i am confident it will be something great that even my detractors will concede well done. 

Some nights I sit and stare into infinity, wondering if there are other worlds out there and if there are people out there who are lovers and encouragers in a world of harsh critics and wicked people. 

I like my imagination. It's as infinite as the night sky and within it lays a formulaic for greatness. I will never allow myself to limited by earthly knowledge. I will follow my imagination wherever it leads me. Imagination is the foundation of creativity. It is the preface of our modern technological world. You cB never convince me of how smart you are if you do not have a vivid imagination. 

People say "mi chat too much". I am simply passionately curious. It is my interest in life and my fellow human that puts me a notch above the tedium of life here on earth. I refuse to become embroiled in this faux importance we apply to our banal routines. 

I don't subscribe to politics because the current political landscape does not reflect care for humanity or the collective betterment of our society. Today's politics contradicts with my values and therefore I cannot be apart of a regime that goes against the laws of goodwill and equality for all humanity. 

Badmind has stuck out its fork into the hearts of those who strive to be above the rest. You fear success because you know that there are those out there lurking and waiting to undermine all that you have worked hard for. 
They can do what they want and get away with it because they are too many of us willing to accept whatever is dished out because of fear. 

Sadness from time to time cast a great shadow on my life. I tend to immersing myself in it, separating its numerous strands, appreciating its subtle nuances. I am a prisoner of grief. I don't deal easily with losing people forever. It doesn't just transcend me into an infinite spectrum of thoughts and meditations but it reminds me that my existence is completely fragile. That any day, anytime completely unbeknownst to me. I can be swept away by the tides of murder or illness. 

My greatest battle has been standing up for what I believe is right. I am not very popular because of where my mind's eye is headed. I know the world is not black and white, there are gray areas and even blues, life is a kaleidoscope of experiences. Perspective is everything. I can tell someone to look at the sky but I can't tell him what to see. He doesn't even want to understand why the sky appears blue to his eyes or that dogs don't see it as blue because they can only see black and white. People only subscribe to their perspectives. 

What is right should be what is beneficial or advantageous to humanity. What is considered lawful may not always be what is right? Remember there was a time when shattling, maiming and murdering blacks was considered lawful. Lawful but not right. I have established my stance what is lawful may not be what is right. People should strive differentiate the two. 

Laws are created by other human beings, laws often reflect the tenets of religion and the lifestyle norms of the ruling class. People break laws everyday. If we were to be charged for every law in the constitution then we would have to spend more money on prisons than on school. 

I don't find pleasure in gloating about the demise of any young people. Youths are created to grow old and die. I can understand an accident or illness but I am no proponent of murder. I denounce the taking of a human beings life because I am a pacific person. 

I can't feel strongly against Africans and Pakistanis dying in civil wars when people are dying like flies in my own backyard. My granny always say you have to clean up your yard first. 

Micheal Nunes told me to take the killings of my friends whether by gunmen or police officers and turn it into something positive. I am trying but I am crippled by grief and anger. I am only human. I can't turn my feelings on and off like a tap. 

My friend Owen Salmon states that I am a misanthrope. I told him yes. People cannot be trusted because the hearts of men have become wicked. People are largely hypocrites. What is good for the goose should be enough for the gander. 

I use to think that bad mind was just a poor people thing but I realize a lot of people badmind others for the very things that they want but see outside of their reach.  I know many of my intellectual peers hate scammers not because scamming is wrong but solely on the basis that they believe going to UWI would have made them wealthy. 

Scammers eclipse that perspective by making wealth accumulation look so easy. Scamming is wrong!!!!!! Let me emphasis that notion. However we know that there are people within the police force and the political platform who do the same thing that scammers do and i don't see anyone insisting that they be shot down instantly for perpetuating criminal culture. 

Lasani Miller was shot fatally by the police yesterday. I would not be doing my moral duty if i did not talk about the lessons learnt from his untimely, unconscionable demise. 

Someone text me this morning about Lasani Killing. She was distraught. I told her I knew the feeling. She told me people were saying all kind of things about her friend. 

I remembered her condemning Gussy. I said to her " the same thing happen to my cousin". My granny always say when you a dig hole. You dig two or three... 

I understand though. I am even shocked to see her saying she's gonna bomb the police station. Imagine if I had wrote that on Facebook about my inconsequential nobody, criminal cousin, they would have heap fire of coals on top of my head. 

I am not gloating. I find no satisfaction in violence. In fact I abhor all forms of violence. I would not wish anyone to die a violent death by the hands of another human being. I believe like most people that there are raw truths exposed in every situation. People only care about injustices when it affects their immeadiate friends or families. Imagine if we had decried injustice it would never have reached this far. 



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