“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Monday, September 9, 2013
You will reap what you sow in this life!
I went to my friend Checky's funeral and i remarked on how his friends appeared to be more saddened by his horrendous death than his immediate family. I realize that many people remain as phony in death as they are in life. They are not humbled by a stinging reminder of how fragile our existence is every time, we see someone die. They like many others always miss the lessons that are within every occurrences
in this life.
I noted something when i looked at the man i knew most of my life, inside my own sense of who he is, i know the man laying in this coffin was my friend but his face looked different to me. It would seem that his appearance drained of his vibrant personality made him look entirely different from whom i remember alive.
I began to think about how when by way of appearance, there are many people who their faces often express their personalities and many people who look like Jezebels are often just evil. People said my friend looked ugly in his coffin, it is because he had such colorful, jovial and vibrant character why no one never realized how ugly he really is. It might sound callous at a funeral but there is so much truth in those sentiments.
And his death has opened my eyes to other truths...
Some people think that they can force you to respect them but sincere reverence is never attained through buttress and duress. If you want respect you have to command it by the way you live your life and treat others only then will people value your existence so much that they will never want to hurt you. If people respect you out of fear, they will hide you and clandestinely engineer your demise. Respect is earned, honesty is appreciated, trust is gained and loyalty return, a life redeemed.
When people do something to you, disrespect you, insult, abuse or hurt you, it is a true representation of how they feel about you. Why are we offended by the truth? We want people to think about us the way we do and that will never happen. People have different modes of validation in their minds and people values others based on their own internal valuation system of hierarchy.
We cannot emphasize how important our families and friends are to us. We should exude the same level of empathy for others as we reserve for the people we are fond of in our immediate circle. Just as how you love your brother, you should understand that i love my brother too. Why would you want to kill a man and leave his children to suffer yet want the best for your offsprings in life?
My granny always say that time is longer than rope and a millions of us will come and leave this world as if we never existed. Time is a faithful teacher, it teaches, punishes, rewards, cajole and then it kills you. We cannot do more than our time so we all will have to sit and wait on father time.
There is no absolution for taking a man's life. There is no remission of a human life. Once you kill someone, you cannot shrive on that because you cannot give it back. Death is irreversible. Killing someone should not be the first thing that comes to your mind when you cannot justify killing.
Some people are better off dead yes. But who are we to judge others? I often tell people that i believe we should be allowed to die on our own terms. My friend would never have thought that he would become apart of the murder statistic for Jamaica. The Memories that i have for him that once meant nothing to me are now worth more than gold. I agnized how important it is for me to cherish my relationships with the people who have shaped my life. Life is not about being physically alive, it is about the experiences that we share with others and how we affect the people around us lives.
My friend was an advocate for health and fitness. He took money out of his own pocket to build a gym so that people could work out. He was no saint but he never lived a violent life. It for this reason why his death is such a tragedy. He has shown how little we regard human life as a people.
What do we have to do as a society is place more emphasis on the value of life. Death is no fair punishment because at the end of it all this life is meaningless and we all must die. Death should not be what we remit to someone for offending use because when you murder someone, you only hurt him momentarily, You shatter the hearts of the people who love and care for him. He is in a permanent state of unconciousness.
My grandmother always say that in life you reap what you sow. Wish good for others and good will follow you. Some us are suffering today because our families committed senseless atrocities that can never be remitted. We are doomed from salvation because of the inherited sins that our forefathers left upon our head. What people do to you is their karma and how you react will be yours. So do good and good will follow you.
Rest IN Peace