“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Saturday, August 10, 2013
If he is meant for you, He will come back to you
So i bumped into one of my first boyfriends. You know the one you had before you had sex and consider whether or not he was worth it. The one that challenged your moral grounds and made you almost give him nookie until he ran out of patience, messed up and you are glad you never slept with him.
So he looks the same way just the glamour rubbed off the day I caught him with that girl! He also spent the rest of my teenage years flashing his father's money in my face and this light skin girlfriend that he went up and down with like they were the Jamaican Bonnie and Clyde!
Until his daddy's empire floundered and he had to sell those cars he inherited, bank took back the house and his dad business ran into the ground. I was ashamed of him, felt sorry for him. What he had become and he said to me " I wanna talk to you, give me your number" and so I did.
He called and began to explain to me why he thought for the most part that if I was his girlfriend, he would not have lost his family fortune and business. I laughed and told him that he never fought for our relationship. He thought that I had slowed his game by him being committed to me and not getting any kitty!
And he admitted that he told his light skin girl about me hence why anywhere she saw me. she gave me the green eye. This flick knew I meant more to her man than just a childhood fling since he took the time out to educate her about our relationship.
I suspected he knew he had made a mistake when he admitted to me after showing me his first-born when he was still the most wanted bachelor in town that he missed me and we became friends after being sworn enemies for three years!
Sometimes i wonder where did i go wrong in my life. How did I go from Crystal the girl who didn't take crap from men to the girl who grovel, cried and beg some arrogant schmuck to give me the time of the day when all indications signalled, he did not give a rats ass about whether I ate or lived!!!!
I loved my childhood boyfriend and despite his pleas, I could not forgive him for such an indiscretion then. He pleaded and I shouted at him and embarrassed him before his friends. My pride would not let me give him a second chance or was it because he did not worth much to me then. I mean at 16 and coming first in my traditional, expensive high school with many other great scholars in my class made me somewhat arrogant about men in my rural community. I was not the prettiest girl around but I was the cream of the crop because boys and men knew I was going places because I dazzle them all the time with my brilliant mind. When I was not flaunting my intellect on them, I was baffling them with erudite, grandiloquent bullshit.
I had what a Dentist referred to as charm. I could charm the skin off a snake if I wanted to. Men would say bad things about me, but never to my face. They would rather shut up than face the wrath of my bombastic nature.
I care for my friend but truth is I am not sorry for him. He sees that I am the ideal woman when all is failing in his life. I gave him my number because I saw it in his big brown eyes that he needed a friend who knew him when he lived in that big house and I use to past him staring out his bedroom window and wondered how lucky he was to live in that big white house and have his own room.
I am angry at his girl because she doesn't deserve him and he has kids with her so he will not leave her. She could not complement his lifestyle. She drained his pocket and all those other women. But that is what men get for looking inna face instead of at values and behaviour.
So now he claims he wants us to try at something. I am not interested because when i needed him, he was busy looking elsewhere. I am not going to take "what lef" after his lights have been dimmed. I see this all the time, women taking men in who at the highlight of their lives would never want anything to do with you.
I also see men marrying pretty women who when they were young and supple would not want anything to do with them. These women are now groping at straws because even though them "whore out" most of these men still see them as the girls that were off limit so now they are gratified to have them.
NO man who didn't seem as a simpleton cannot possible want to be with me now that I am an entrepreneur. But then life has a way of working itself out.
what do you do when the guy you loved comes back to you years later up to you. I like to lets sleeping dogs stay dead...