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Crystal Evans Books

“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie



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Thursday, August 15, 2013

Dear Checkie? I never thought someone close to me would die by the Gun!

I miss you...LENVIL checkie Flemming...

I cried so hard tonight because I believe a dozen shots is an overkill. You are not a murderer, a troublemaker or a terrorist but someone thought that your life would be fair punishment for the affront that you exhibited towards him/her.

I see people commit worst atrocities that you and they live to see the so many sunrises that someone saw it convenient to deny you of. I am afraid to speak out against injustices at times because I am only one woman. Who am i to call for a revolution in Jamaica when I may forfeit my life by opening my mouth. My philosophy has always been that if you put up with fuckery then fuckery will ketch up with you. If you fail to speak out against injustices then justice and mercy will forever be far from your gate.

I began posting about Checky's death on Facebook and no one commented on it. Why because Checky is not important. He is not living a "flossing life" nor is he some big time socialite or Politician. He meant something to me and his family. I remembered as a child all the time that he made me laugh and poked fun at me and my sisters. I love him and i miss him!

He was treated like some old criminal as my grandmother would say!
They cannot take him away from us because he lives in my heart with the memories of who he was and what he meant to us. My only regret is that my daughter will not get to know the man I loved like a uncle.

A childhood friend of mine said to me ( a male) that he tries as much a possible not to look at him because we all knew him since we were children. No one can tell me not be upset or hurt over the untimely demise of man I knew since I was a child. I see him and Lorna Flemming coming across the ball field when ever there was any community fracas, laughing it out,. the two of them. Went one year after each other!

He continued that he was weak and that no one could chide him for grieving for his friend. No one can tell me not to be upset over a life that was lost to me. I know my lost, no one can expect me to be happy or support the senseless killing of this man. His death is not without reason but I would not wish death on even my most devious enemy. Once you take a life, there is no going back!

He fought for his life half an hour before he died, I looked at his dead photograph and realise the sadness that clouds his face with his teeth clenched either from pain or the realisation that his journey as Checky Ends here.

It makes me even sadder to know that he was not given a chance to beg for his life. Someone asked me why? Why should we beg another mortal for our life? I gave my child life, who is you to take it from him? I think mankind was better off not knowing about the fragility of our humanity. Of how easy it is for us to be vaporised. I always wondered what the gun man seeing what the gun can do to another's life if he is not scared of losing his own life or has he reached a place that he no longer values his life therefore he does not care.

He the undertaker of life, doesn't he understand that his life too can be expended just like so many people lives he takes but no he protects his life with his gun. The same gun he uses to take the life of my brother and sisters.

I would be a hypocrite if I said that people have not done things to me in my life that made me think that these people are better off dead. Sometimes when I reminisce I concede that what they did to me is their Karma and my reaction is mine. My friend Checky is blowing in the wind, Gonna take the woman in me to break free from this insanity.


  1. I feel the same way girl checky was a very peaceful young man he didn't bother anyone I truly missed him my heart still crying.

    1. he did not deserve that. but wherever he is i wont be the one to say he is in a better place because i know he would like nothing than to be where his friends and family. One Love