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“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie



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Thursday, February 20, 2014

Women from the Jamaican Ghetto

Women where I am from have the same stories. Many times they have the same endings and daughters are prone to make the same mistakes that their mothers made. They had a bright future in mid-teen until they met someone who impregnated them and never looked back. Before they know it,  they have several children for an assortment of men who leave as soon as they are pregnant. 

Girls never learn. It doesn't matter much how beautiful you may think you are, a daughter of the Jamaican working class knows that without any iota of bargaining power or qualities to complement a prospective partner, her chances of finding a fairy tale relationship with a man is just as probable as the next girl. 

The Ghetto woman knows that the more children she has, her value lowers on the relationship market. The older she gets her relationship prospects depreciate. Men value goes up as they get older because they might accumulate a house or wealth. A woman with no education, unemployed and several children will find it harder to convince a man to stick around. She might find someone who loves her but a woman rejected by other men becomes a playing ground from every man she meets. It is one of the reason why men will easily label a woman as a whore because he is by some unseen social contract expected to turn away a woman who   everyone knows has been around the bushel a couple of times. 

Sexual relations in the Ghetto is a laughable business. Venerable diseases will thrive because people often sleep around with each other and before you know it everyone in a particular district are related biologically. Women often believe the men in their districts belong to them and hate on women outside of their area. Some community women see a man's choice of exogamy as indication that he may be dissatisfied with women in his community. 

The ghetto girl knows by social contract that being desired by all men and sleeping with them all is the fastest way to fall off the good girl list. She knows she can never be charitable with her sexual gifts. To be kind with your vagina is to open oneself up to make contempt and disrespect.
 Men will feign interest, be an ingrate to get in the bed with the "kind" girl and then leave faster than he came in. They will
Promise you the world because they know that instinctually you want man for yourself. Men are largely complex creatures, they would like to get into
A woman's clothes the fastest way he can and then dumps her just as fast for sleeping with him so quickly. A girl in the Ghetto has to be smart. She cannot leave her jewels on display got all to see. She has to measure a man and only the most deserving should she risk her love and reputation on. 

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