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Crystal Evans Books

“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie



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Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Black people and the belly full laughter

I am often surprised at the way unaccomplished people use laughter, often loud ululations to bring attention to themselves. They could never be laughing at me, I know their laugher is a sham to divert attention away from the paucity of a life. They like that belly full laugh. It means they are not hungry, at least not hungry for the right things. 

I was never given more tools than them so how come my success is responsible for their downfall. I never cheated, facilitate their failure and usurp success out of their hands. I merely sought to develop myself. People can hate others for their ambition, my grandmother would say that it's not her fault that they are theirs. 

Human's may seem as if they cannot make up their minds. They already have decided where they want you to be. You see if Oprah never made it out of Mississippi she would always be reminded about what happened in her past and most of her peers would use her past to discredit her. They will be like  "oh there goes Oprah thinking she better than us when she got pregnant in school or her relative raped her". You see your own will not love you until strangers start claiming you. They just trying to benefit from your stardom. Hoping the stardust will rub off on them when they tell people they know you from way back when. Oprah is a celebrity now, she's out of their reach, she's a real star because strangers heaping praises on her. They will celebrate her accomplishments because she's not near to outshine whatever reflected light ounces off them. 

When it comes to black people you cannot blossom in their eyes, it reminds them too much of their own inadequacies when someone from their own dirt paved streets makes something of themselves. It simply means they didn't try enough. Don't think they do not gloat with malicious satisfaction when the girl who is doing well in high school gets pregnant and become a drop out like so many of her peers. Do not let them fool you, we all know black people are crabs in a bucket, they are happier seeing everyone crowded at the bottom. I don't know if it is slavery that made us so distrustful of each other and insecure about our brothers prosperity. White man tricked us by dividing and conquering, but our insecurity is bigger than that it stems from our parents who indoctrinated us to only seek success for ourselves so that we might be considered socially superior to our neighbors. We become discomfiture with others success because we think that they view us in the same light that we were socialized to frown upon failed people. We think they look down on us and we create problems, distractions to keep the attention off our pitfalls. 

It is true there are many black people who believe they live better lives among whites than among their own. While they might have a point, and good reasons to get away from their own kind, we wished those who get out of the bucket would turn around and help a few good crabs out. 

Where ever you are in your life, it is truly a milestone for you. I don't know how far you are coming from and I genuinely believe you deserve every ounce of happiness and success that you have now because you have proven yourself worthy. 

Don't allow anyone to ever make you feel ashamed of your success because it makes them feel uncomfortable. Make the most of your life because chances are you will die alone. 

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