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Crystal Evans Books

“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

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Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Dealing with your Jamaican IN laws

So i have had many bouts with the dreaded in laws who for most part often think that their son/ daughter is too good for you. You are in their estimation undeserving of their important familial ties and incredible genes for your offspring. Their superiority only exist in their little niche community and the bearings being that you are not related to them hence you are inferior to them. Sounds incestuous doesn’t it? i have asked my self and i have met many women who think their female in laws want to date their kins. Why do our female in laws give us women such a hard time? Are they jealous of us as women are known to be rather competitive? Are they jealous of their male relative, thinking due to his good qualities that he should be with them and not you; and they become embittered at the thought that they can never be with him and such set out to sabotage your relationship? Yes sabotage your relationship so that you become exhausted by the constant put downs, criticisms and leery looks that you abandon your love, giving him back to them? Are your in laws more appreciative of past girlfriend or present partners with less redeeming qualities yet inspite of what you do, you are never meted any measure of recognition, respect or appreciation? Do you feel as if it is impossible to get along with your in laws that you will never be good enough for them. Stop, they don’t have to like you since you are not in a relationship with them. Just pretend they are the family members we cant stand but cant completely turn our backs because they are still family. And don’t feel bad or upset if your man does not understand your concerns, they are his family and he couldn’t possible know how a stranger feels around them. As a matter a fact, he doesn’t know about the subtle hints his female family members gives his spouse because he is guy and they do not show him that side of them. They are nice to him, not you. Look at the alacrity with which members of your family or other outsiders (brother in law’s wife) concur with you when you snuff about your in laws warped eccentricities and lofty ideals. http://s3.amazonaws.com/readers/2013/01/25/imagesqtbnand9gcr9lep81fxtjnraeftjp1yht6fm4x22zkt3ynn1ol3hwaqc7_1. What enrages most women is how their Mans female relatives are quick to degrade them and when place on the attraction continuum, they fall short by a huge avalanche. Those family members who say you aren’t a good girl yet are promiscuous, non progressive, baby boomers. Now which woman would not be pissed at a lesser woman than her lambasting her character. Most times its just classic sour grapes syndrome. Your female in laws like most women who life has dealt them a bad hand are jealous. Age old symptom of women competition for male attention. They are afraid that just as how your man finds you extraordinary then their men might actually like you too which their men will deny with vehemence. They do not like women like us who raise the bar for them, we show men what is out their to behold and how much they are short selling themselves when they settle for them. They only like our good virtues when it is to their benefit. If your in laws realise that you have a mind of your own and they cant control you, rest assure that they will give you hell. They believe that you should have to earn their affection and you do not since the only ones love that is important is that of the man you are with. You maybe hrut by what they express but its irrelevant to your relationship as long as you love him. Read more: http://purpleslinky.com/humor/dealing-with-your-jamaican-female-in-laws/#ixzz2O70hibRY