“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Sunday, October 5, 2014
You are a Good Woman, You deserve a Good man: Never be afraid to cut Wack men off
Two years ago i met this guy at a party. He walked up to me, very confident and self assured and Whitney Houston, " Like I never left" was playing in the background " and what he did next was unthinkable. He slobbered all over my ear like a dog. His raw sexuality was compelling and under normal circumstances if he was not that good looking i would have reprimaned him for such a public display of interest.
We spoke and exchanged numbers. I waited an entire day for his call and no call. I figured he had forgotten and i remembered it was just the advent of Whatsapp and BBM. Naturally since he was on my contact list he was on my Whatsapp. So i text him and it took him five minutes to remember who i was. I assumed he probably ran his beach towel over a lot of earlobes that afternoon or i did not make that much of an impact as he acted like i did.
I text and we spoke and made arrangements to meet up, nothing concrete since he posit that his schedule was packed with party promotions etc. I notice that this dude does not even know what my voice sounds. He did not once call my phone. So i decided to call him out on it not to make him feel guilty for not calling me to reassert my standards, if he is truly interested then he would flip his switch and start behaving himself.
He said that he preferred to text than talk. Redflag Number One. What man likes a girl and does not want to hear her voice? Two if he cannot call me, does that mean his phone is broke or does that mean he is in a relationship? Next day i call him and he does not pick up nor does he return my calls. i cut him off. Delete and forgot. It was not easy for i liked him but in about two weeks of immersing myself into blogging and social media marketing. I was able to get over my infatuation.
Earlier this year, I got a text on whatsapp from someone. I know the number but does not recognize it instantly, The same guy who i deleted over a year ago texting me to ask me whats up and why he has not been hearing from me. I scoffed. it took him over a year to realize that i was not communicating with him. This dude probably text me as an afterthought. He is bored or he has ran out of platinum pu$$y and he remembers the unassuming, average looking girl that use to text him every morning.
Fig.2. This is what i rank in Google #2, Out of 40 Million so i do not have time for wack ass men.
He wants to meet up but am not having it. I still find him attractive, i am just unable to get over the callous way with which he blatantly ignored me for the last year. I agree to a date to see if he still created that spark. He is an hour late for the date and I am royally pissed off but i should not be for i had known that he was "bullshit" from the get go and i still entertained him for i thought this "one that got away" probably grew up and was interested in a grown woman. I knew he probably wanted sex and after calling him to query his whereabouts and not getting any answer, i went back home. He starts ringing my phone. Ten missed calls later and he is texting me on whatsapp to let me know how much he wasted his time coming to my area which was half an hour away and he could not understand how a woman of my intelligence was so unreasonable.
I chuckled and ignored his message that was the last straw, i was very reasonable for agreeing to go on a date with a man who has not spoken to me in over 365 days. This happens to women a lot, when you liked a guy and he was not showing any interest and then he acts interested now and you are tempted to pick up where you left off. I advise women to leave it alone.
Why would you want to be someone spare time, downtime or half time? He text the next day, the day after and i responded but i was done and over with him. I never felt so empowered. I still found him attractive but i was not infatuated with him. I was acting like a lady and thinking like a man. I finally learnt that you could find a man attractive without every be with him or be in love with him.
I also understood that men never really lie to us. Today's pretty boys, wealthy men and alpha males never mislead us, we are the ones who help contribute to emotional rape by getting our hopes up for a relationship when a desireable man looks at us twice. This handsome dude still keeps the link but he knows i am not interested. I got the hint and so did he...