“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Saturday, October 18, 2014
Ten Jamaican men can get away with that women can't!
1. A Jamaican man can have as many outside children as he likes and his wife is expected to forgive him and continue the relationship. This is a big issue since if a woman within a relationship gets pregnant for an outside man, the relationship is over. Very few Jamaican men will stay with a woman "who annodda" man impregnated. Men who do so are considered fools and lose respect from their male peers. People might say women who stay in these relationship have a choice to leave but in reality some do not. Before you condemn these women, be mindful of the facts, never react without knowledge of their situations.
2. A man can sleep with as many women as he likes and still be considered a very eligible partner while if a woman has been around the "blocks" a couple time then men cross her off as being unmarriageable. This might only be a perception for women with less virtuous reputations and history of promiscuity do end up with a good partners for what is trash to one man is gold to another. It is unfair that women are not allowed by social sanctioning to play the field as much as men without any form of reproach. A woman cannot do what a man does and still be a lady.
3. A Jamaican man is not expected to wash underwear, as a matter a fact a lot of men within lower economical class stress the notion of not having their rags in the same basin as a woman's panties. While women will wash a man's undergarments. Some men will not put panties on line or take them off. To wash a female underwear is considered emasculating while female's watching a man's brief is seen as traditional.
4. A man can stay out all night, all day if he likes but if a woman decides to live this " pon the road" lifestyle then men complain. It was only recently a female acquaintance explained that her man will go to work, come home and leave again to chill with his friends. She said that she decided to give him a piece of his own medicine by stepping in and out as she liked and spending less time at home. She said he claimed that she was not living a "good gyal lifestyle" and was becoming a "road terrorist". He found it unpleasant the idea that a woman could love road as much as him and he might not be alone in this perception.
5. Men are not chastised as much when they abandon children but women are considered lower than the bottom when they leave their children. It is widely assumed that women have more intense bond with children due to pregnancy and only a heartless woman could leave her child. Men can pass their children on the streets without as much as a glance but a mother is suppose to be committed to her children. Men can spend less time with offspring's, refuse to attend school meetings and have zero contact and it is acceptable.
6. When a man remarries he can bring his new wife to the house he shared with his previous partner. Women especially if the house was built by their first partner is not expected to bring another man into the home. She can live there with the children as long as she does not bring any man there. A woman will help a man build a house and he will throw her out and bring in a next woman while if a man builds a house with a woman and the relationship goes sour, he will insist that "no man nah live a him yard"
7. When a man likes a woman, she is expected to like him back but if a woman crushes on a man and he is not interested she is expected to leave him alone. A man will psst at a female and if she refuses to give him any attention, he will pursue, insult and even manhandle her. If a woman likes a man and he is not interested and he makes his disinterest known, the woman is suppose to give up and leave him alone. Why can't men leave a woman alone when she shows him that she is not interested.
8. Men who insist that they do not eat and yet expect women to eat (from) them. Oral sex has always been an issue that highlights the hypocrisy of some Jamaican men. Not all men are uncomfortable and som will admit that they will do it but a vast majority will "nyam bible leaf" that they do not believe in men doing oral sex yet seem to enjoy it with a female. How can you enjoy something you do not see yourself doing. That is just plain hypocrisy. Like Kartel bashing Lisa Hype and then come endorse the same concept in his later music.
9. This ties in with number one. Many Jamaican .love to give bun and expect their women to forgive and move on. They will insist that the woman gets over it and stop nagging him about his indiscretion. Now make him a get a bun and is a whole different scenario. He will cuss, bawl and wail over the alledge cheating and find it very difficult to forgive his woman. His friends who have no qualms about encouraging him to cheat saying " Don't be no Bottle torch or One Burner" will boost him to leave him woman cause "the gyal diss him". So hypocritical.
10. Jamaican man can carry himself any way in a relationship but not so for females. Men think they deserve the bestest and sexiest girls and want to carry themselves as them feel like. Men say it is their spending power that a woman is attracted to and not their bodies so they can come with "big belly, face full a hair and two days don't bathe or brush teeth" and females are suppose to accept it once they are spending their money. Women now have to be perfect in every way and less attractive men will call girls ugly and fat when they have big belly, no teeth and dirty clothes swag.