“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Dealing with men who casually date everyone!
No girl wants to be with a man who cannot let other women know that he is taken. The rules are simple. A man cannot expect to get all the benefits of being a husband when you are together yet acts like a bachelor in your absence. He is either in a relationship or he is not, he cannot be both.
Too many men parading around because they have wives at home who are too weak to demand more from their relationships and putting single women's life in jeopardy by pretending to not be in a relationship. Any man who has an arrangement where you are only together when you are together is not worth your time. When it comes to dating, exclusivity is the name of the game.
Getting yourself sexually entangled with a man who does not have a girl despite being seen with twenty different women or rumored to be involved with other women is just setting up yourself to become another of his statistics. If he does not own them, what makes you think that he will ever admit to being with you?
If a man wants to sleep with a woman without emotional attachments or obligation then he should find a lady of the night and pay for her services. Women should draw the line at men treating ordinary women like whores by paying them to not demand more from a relationship. Some might say our young women act like whores and therefore deserved to be treated as such.
He will sleep with you and box you in with his other casuals while he chases another "fresh meat". You will join those women on the sidelines who watched, eyes green with envy as you trot around town with the man who slept with them last weekend wondering if you are the real thing. They know that your hype is only transient, that you will soon be joining them on the bench waiting for another chance to be number one draft pick.
It is better a man admits that he is not ready for a relationship and gives a woman the choice to be in that situation than deceive her into thinking he wants something permanent just to get into her panties.
It is up to the woman to find out by asking direct questions as to what the man she is dating is expecting. Do not assume that he wants a permanent relationship or that he will commit to you. You should get into his head before you give him any head!