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Crystal Evans Books

“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie



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Wednesday, June 11, 2014

When a Jamaican is beaten down by life...

I once listened to a broadcast of the Joel Osteen ministries telethon on Black Entertainment Television, Mr Osteen prepared a lesson that morning that would stick with me for the rest of my life. It was a review of a research done by a university that I cannot seem to remember. I however did not forget what he said about people who had gotten beaten down in life. 

A university research, examining the lives of a couple participants who they studied from pre school age until adulthood discovered something remarkable about the human condition through ages and phases of development. 

According to the research children who were enthusiastic about life, hopeful had high aspirations and dreams, by high school about half of them had regressed in their academical studies and by adulthood more than three quarter of them did not become what they wrote down their career aspiration will be when they grew up. 

The story struck me because it reminded me of myself and many other young people I grew up with, I knew people who did well in basic school and then weren't so good at primary school. I know people who
topped our primary school class but did nothing in high school that was academically worthy. I have people that were brilliant in high-school and failed miserably at the university level. I know a lot of people who are intellectual and have not amounted to much in life. 

I know you must have heard people pointing or making reference to individuals who once held promising futures during their formative years and fell off at the wayside. You probably chalked it down to lack of ambition not remembering the hurdles you had to cross to get where you are. It is funny how we always want people to see the struggles we made, to empathize with our success, knowing it was not easy. Your success is very well deserved yet on the flip side we are often prejudicial and condescending to those who have failed. 

We never grow tire of telling our stories of triumph over the setbacks and obstacles that did not easily beset us. It's is unfair, because in hindsight some people give up at the first sign of challenge or failure and in the end get beaten down by life. 

Many of the people whose failures we enjoy sharing were basically beaten down by this life, their failure is not an excuse not to achieved but many of use were never given the tools we need to succeed in this life.

Some of us were born to poor parents, families with low values, we flourished in communities rippled with destruction and mayhem, we don't always tell our stories nor do we explain to every one the barricades that precluded us from achieving our goals. No one can blame you for being born in less favorable conditions but they will hold you responsible for failing to get out. 

I have experienced many a beat down days when I wanted to give up and give in. I hold one maxim, never give up until you have exhausted all avenues of success. If you still have options then you are still in line up for the trophy. 

You have to become self sufficient, completely understanding that even though others might want to help that it is ultimately you that is going to make things happen in your life. In so doing you will not be as quick to give up on yourself as others are to scratch you off their list. 

Michelle Obama once said that she never closed doors behind her. Someone paved the way for you therefore you should keep some doors open so that you can let others in. 


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