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Crystal Evans Books

“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie



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Thursday, June 5, 2014

Jamaican Women: Are you ready to date?

 If a man is not engaged, married, or in a long time serious relationship, his eggs are in other baskets, ensuring that if you misbehave, we can freely move on to the next bitch basket, without heartbreak or depression. For example, when you break up with your “exclusive, but not official” boo of six months; you cry and stress to the point of being physically sick because you were 100% invested in that man who suckered you into a half-ass relationship. That same man you’re broken up about will be a sad, but he will be fine in a week or two. It’s not because that man is cold-hearted, it’s because he didn’t invest 100% in your stock. He was 40% into you, 20% into his ex who he was still fucking, 15% into the new crush he’s been trying to pull off Instagram, and he kept the last 25% reserved in case he meets a new chick off Tinder. Relationships end every day, and men can’t afford to be left emotionally bankrupt over a girl he was only half-sure about in the first place.

Borrowed from

So your entire childhood was shaped by a shadow background of lower conscious need to find the perfect man. It probably started when you were somersaulting over the tyres on the ground at the kindergarten school and saw some light skin curly hair kid with a snotty nose that appeared super appealing to your eyes. You didn't really understand the concept of sex but for some reason you knew you wanted to be exclusive with this person. Fast forward twenty years later, you are still attracted to curly hair men in Range Rovers with an impressive social clout but they are as unattainable as diamonds. 

Having a vagina, good skin and great hair (even if you bought it) does not guarantee that some guy will commit to you. It might sound harsh but it is the reality of the situation. Men are not what we think they are, they are not as woosy as romantic novels and cinemas portray them. 

So before you continue to throw your ass around at every man who slows his mechanical chariot beside you on the sidewalk,you need to first do a self evaluation, you need to assess whether or not you are ready for dating. Do you think that you have what it takes to get a commitment from an alpha male? 

The truth about wealthy men, popular men and dudes with swag is that they won't settle for a girl with just pussy, sounds harsh but that is the reality of the situation. 

Consider this that every year, a new set of girls leave high school with flat bellies, elastic vaginal muscles than don't need Kegel exercises and the zeal of youth that most men find alluring. Imagine you having to compete with them, youth reduces as you age and you like them at thirty have nothing to offer a man but your vagina? How will a man love you when he can get what you have to offer a dime a dozen from a litany of young women parading, near naked on the road every afternoon. 

Think about it! There is absolutely nothing distinct about you that will warrant this guy in the Range Rover's attention. It would be easier he dates a young girl without the attendant children and financial demands. You know there is a reason why men ask you how many babies you have when they meet you. They want to know how much you are worth and how much he might have to invest in a relationship with you. If he is a guy who shirks responsibility then he will in and out the door before you can say " I have two kids". 

Men judge you by how many children you have because they want to measure your past lifestyle. Two children and two different fathers spells you kinda reckless with your sexuality if they are only a year a part. Kids are not the only factor that men judge you by. Many men consider your hairstyle. 

How can you expect to attract a in a BMW if you have in a hairpiece that has three neon colours. He is gonna think: 1) you working at a circus or 2) you a dancehall chick. Nothing is wrong with a dancehall chick or a barmaid but how many barmaids do you know who get corporate executives and surgeons to marry them. It clearly doesn't work like that. If being skinny with Brazilian hair was all a woman needed to snag a rich man then we would not have the pervasive, unswerving ideology among Jamaican women that good men are hard to find. It's not that good men are not hard to find granted our young men are becoming an endangered species but that most women got it all wrong when it comes to attracting a man. 

Our mothers taught us a few tricks from Ratchetpedia but we should be smart enough to learn from our mothers mistake knowing that she only managed to get men to stick around until they impregnated her and now she's spending the rest of her life alone. So the average Jamaican girl learns from a mother who barely knows the basic of the playbook on how to get a rich guy to exclusively commit.  We spend our lives believing the slut appeal can get a man to love us so we wear see through clothes, batty rider shorts and the most revealing clothing in our quest to ensnare men. 

Back to this hairstyle business. Men are not suppose to be judge mental but they are because in order for a man to like you enough to pursue a relationship with you, you have to get him to look at you first and foremost. Nikki Z and Miss Kitty can wear a shaved head with zig zags cut into it and redhair and still get a surgeon shelling out big bucks for a dinner with them but the average girl on the street is seen as either a GoGo, prostitute or barmaid. It is unfair but that is the reality. There is a difference between what is and what aught to be....

The man in the BMW with a degree thinks differently from the scammer dude in a Honda. Scammer dude might wife a girl with red and yellow streaks in her hair because his small minded ess and lack of refine values precludes him from changing his basic appreciation of women. A guy with a masters degree would never bring a multicolored hair girl to his business conference but he might take her out to some seedy go go club or KFC, he knows his friends will look at him differently and not only that but his exes and immediate family might wonder if he has gone mad. 

He might have no problem sharing his dick with you, it does not mean you will get to know his family and his friends. Not that girls who look like ratchets don't get millionaires to marry them, but those girls are the exception to the rule and not the rule. If you live for the five percent who accomplished an ideal man looking like spike lee, then you are in for some serious free falls... I mean literally. Any girl can get any guy to fuck her at the most basic level. 

How many men will you have to go through until you find Mr. Ideal is clearly up to you. In this dating frontier you gotta know who to cut lose and whom to ditch without a second thought. Have you ever thought about how easy it is for a guy to be all over you in one day and completely out of touch the next, it is because men make up their minds faster than women do. A woman has to learn to decide which men are worth risking it with, which other men are not to see where she pee. This does not guarantee you from making bad decisions and sleeping with men who are more tight on their games and can trick you into bed. But with each candidate you learn from them and you move on without resentment, opening yourself to knew experience, never forgetting the past and holding steadfastly to a hopeful relational future. 


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