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“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

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Wednesday, June 4, 2014

The Jamaican Woman's Fairy Tale Complex



Every girl has an ideal man, a checklist of physical features, personality attributes and social elements that we would like to have in a husband. Truth is life is never like those Cinderella books, good girls don't always win out like they do in Mills and Boons, nor does plain Janes marry millionaires like in the Harlequins Romance Series. Life is different from our fantasies, good girls are side chicks, most wealthy men are jerks who view commitment as an option, something they can delay until they lose their virility. 


Remember our high school perfect husband discussions and how wanted this and that in a man or our husband should look like him, have this and that. Many of us smart women assumed that an education would get us some rich surgeon until we discovered that it took more than a degree to snag a well off man. 


We wake up to the reality but some of us are still holding on to wistful romantic notions that some perfect man is going to show up on our lives and whisk us off into the sunset in his mechanical chariot. Nothing is wrong with dreaming, a girl gotta have hope. What if you end up spending your life, wishing for something that might never happen? 


Are you in a position to meet the men that you want? You can't expect to meet surgeons and corporate executives at a street dance. You would have to attend conferences and social gatherings that these kind of men converge on. Nor can you expect a man who is a CEO, running his business, to give you all his money, funding your lifestyle when he can get someone else to complement his. 

You cannot want a man with abs and muscles yet your body is completely out of shape. Don't

You think someone who takes as much pride in his appearance won't notice that of his partner. Appearance can be improved but in order to get certain men to consider you, you would first have to get him to look at you. 

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