“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Monday, May 30, 2016
"What are your dreams like?" She asked.
"Your dreams tells me everything we need to know on a spiritual and psychological level!"
"I think you have been fixed!"
My eyes flew opened and i looked up at her.
"I am just having a bad day cause someone text me and ask me about my situation that dredged up bad feelings and bad memories!"
"I lost it for a moment!"
Sass shook her head.
"Even though we educated we cannot forget our roots"
"We will not deny the existence of good and evil"
"I have never thought your behaviour was normal!"
"I hope i am not the only one that shares that opinion!"
I chuckled. "Bones use to tell me all the time that them trick me!"
"It pulls me in like magnet to steel!"
"But it still is not getting me to do what they want me to do!"
"Couple other people in the community have implied it, not said it outright, more like hinted!"
Sass snickered. "Oh so i am not blind then!"
"Do you often feel confused!"
"Like you don't know what to do!"
I sighed. "In the past when we broke up, i often think that maybe if i give him what he wants then he would treat me better!"
"Then i tried to give him and it was never enough, it only bought me a good time for a week or less"
"I was confused because my mind was telling me to let this go and my other parts yearned for him!"
Sass nodded. "You don't feel confused now?"
I chuckled. "Nope, just anger and resentment!"
"I am more focused work wise!"
"I was closing this chapter long before the video fiasco!"
"Something just wasn't sticking anymore!"
"I tried to keep it open as long as i could!"
"Tell me about your dreams!" Sass said.
"Last night i dreamt that i was a child again!"
"Little girl in jeans skirt with my blouse tucked in!"
"I also dreamt i was in high school again!"
"There was a parade and a school march!"
"I saw Miss Wilson our lit teacher teaching out of a small wooded room!"
"In another section i dreamt that i was braiding my sister's hair and her hair scalp was greatfly disfigured!"
"I found that part rather disturbing!"
Sass smiled. "Sounds pretty normal!"
"I wake up in a calm most mornings!"
"Before this one, during a break up i would have nightmares and wake up restless and crying!"
"I haven't dreamt him once since we broke up!"
Sass grinned. "Your brain has been rewired!"
"It is because you are no longer trying subconciously to fix things!"
"Dreams are how we process what is happening in our daily lives!"
She pulled me into an embrace. "I am so proud of you!"
"Do not let them break you!"
"Everything that they are doing is to break you down!"
"Do not let this become the main focus of your life!"
"You have made so much progress!"
"Do not fall back now!"
She released me. "What did you say our Lit teacher taught out of?"
I shrugged. "A small wooden Box, the box was beside her and she was putting out clothes on the line beside it and somone said that is what she uses to decorate her classroom!"
Sass held her throat. "Miss Wilson represents a pastor!"
"The school uniforms, marching bands!"
"You just dreamt someone's funeral!"
I frowned. "Come to think of it!"
"That wooden box is shaped like an old time coffin!"
Crystal .A. Evans
If I Were A Bwoy