“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
If I Were A Bwoy
"Hey Saf why yuh crying"
I cradled the phone against my ear.
Sass sighed audibly. "Hey you are doing very well!"
"Do not regress!"
I shook my head. "Why does he hate me!"
"I haven't done him anything!"
"I worked hard for my money!"
"I've reached thus far without help from anyone!"
"I did my own research and created my own strategies for making my money!"
"He thinks he is entitled to it because we had sex!"
"The money isn't anything but how stupid am i to try and help someone that constantly humiliates and disrespects me"
"Now all he does is walk around and tell his hoodlums friends that i have money!"
"As if he is trying to set up my life!"
Sass let out another sigh. "I knew it would come to this!"
"Dre has lost a great deal!"
"He had a lot riding on this relationship!"
"He is furious!"
"He is using his friends to intimidate you!"
"Dre knows you might no longer value him but you value your life therefore he threatens like so many weak men do, what is most important to you"
"Do you know what i tell little girls in rural communities"
"I tell them don't settle in a relationship here before you go out and see the world"
"I tell them don't get pregnant, the minute you get pregnant you might end up settling for a man that five years from now, you will want nothing to do with him!"
"You see Ghetto men always a complain that we women from the ghetto with our education don't want them!"
"That we think we are better than them!"
"Dre is a fine example of why women should never date men from innercity communities"
"The minute you give one of those low lifes a chance in your life, they will only seek to destroy you!"
"Because they are weak men, they are insecure! them badmind women for showing them up!"
I stopped crying.
"I know about the settling part!"
"You either outgrow them mentally or you realize that you do not share the same life goals!"
"You start having regrets!"
"Realize that you just wasted the last few years of your life!"
"Because you had a baby and settled"
"Story of my life!"
Sass chuckled. "Ah sah!"
"So what grim rim tale is Dre and his cronies spinning now!"
"He has some serious issues!"
"He is the type that when he can't control you, he attempts to control how people think or feel about you!"
"He bemsirches your character!"
"He thinks he wins that way!"
"How me marked for death!"
"How me fe dash weh long time as if me anno nobody!"
"How when me diss the "dawg", me diss them!"
"Still can't figure out how that part works!"
"I didn't know i dissed anyone by leaving Dre after he has done so many horrible things to me!"
Sass let out a low peal of laughter.
"He is right!"
"You were marked for death from the day you let that bwoy put his dick in you!"
"He has done nothing but sorround himself with negativity and has invited his negativity into your life"
"You have to close this door permanently with scant regards for the outcome!"
"I know you sometimes feel afraid but remember things coulda always worst!"
"This person does nothing but try to foment or facilitate your demise!"
"Dre's way of getting back at you, He tries to corrupt his friends and family against you!"
"This has been his memo from day one!"
"Time will eventually show his true face to them!"
I scoffed. "They knew half the shit, i did, Them wudda nevah even par wid him!"
Sass burst into loud guffaws. "Well i always knew it!"
"I was not the least bit surprised"
"He fits the prototype with his anger issues!"
I sucked my teeth. "Why can't they see him for the monster he is!"
"I think his mom and his family knows, they are just in denial!"
"Like most families, they try to hide their black sheep until it turns on them!"
"They think you provoke his wrath as if at any given time Dre doesn't give any of them a tongue lashing!"
"Dre has succeeded in gaining a ban of loyal fans that are only loyal to a lie"
"I do not how i could support a person for killing his child's mother or beating her senseless"
"And still go to church!"
"Them people deh praying to a different god!"
"They are mad at you for the truth!"
"So you let them be!"
"You close those doors permanently and only then you will find peace!"
If I Were a Bwoy
Crystal A. Evans