“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Monday, November 28, 2011
The pregnancy scam
I watched a young man pursue a relationship that i had advised him not to pursue based on the disqualities of the object of his attraction.
Like most dickheads, my counsel went through one ear and came through the other. The more people advised him, the further he catapults himself into the relationship.
I remembered saying to my spouse that i know exactly what is going to happen in that relationship and that our naive, testostorone driven relative would end up with the fiery end of the stick. I said to him that the woman will very soon claim that she is pregnant, and then she will insist on getting money to abort the pregnancy from him. Two she might tell him that she is pregnant to see how he would react to the idea of it when she is in fact not pregnant. She will then get pregnant after the fact to absolve her deception, Baby is born a month or so overdue! Third, she will get pregnant simply to control and manipulate him.
Why do women use the pregnancy scam?
I for one think it is inapplicable and does not yield the results that most women want since there are many young women out there with children whose fathers refuse to take care of the child.
Some women use the pregnancy lie or scam when the relationship is plateauing. When you reach that stage in the relationship where things are going absolutely perfect and your insecurities begin to arise because your fear (and know) that things can only get worst from here. In order to inject some semblance of security back into your relationship, you lie about being pregnant with the intention to get pregnant or you ensure that you are pregnant this time around. Many women can attest (apparent by the many single parent families) that the pregnancy scam or trick does not work in solidifying a relationship.
But this Pregnancy scam does work on some men depending on his education and social status. A naive, besotted man would go along with your ploy. If he uses a condom frequently then he cease using it because if you are already pregnant then you can’t pregnant again not knowing that he is actually going to get you pregnant since currently you arent! The woman gets the security she needs from the relationship and a lifetime guarantee that she will always have a connection with this poor man and take away some of his salary for her child.
If the man insists on an abortion then he would have to find approximately ten thousand Jamaican dollars to give her to do it. Most men would take their time and back out of the relationship, completely leaving her on her own with her child.
Some women use the abortion technique to scam money out of men. It is one of the easiest ways to get a ten grand from a man by telling a man you know does not want a child that you are pregnant and want to throw it away (abort). The man will find the money in earnest to get rid of the problem and you in the same stride.
Men with money, middle and upper class men do not fall easy to this scam. If a woman tells them that she is pregnant, they do a mental computation. They need to know how far along the pregnancy is? When did you last see your period? Are you sure? I thought you were on the pill, when did you get off? What are you planning to do about it? Upper class men know that women especially poor and desperate females will do anything to latch on to a meal ticket and many women are still under the misconception that a baby with a wealthier man of higher status is the key to upward mobility. It does work but eighty percent of the time, the woman finds herself barefoot and pregnant while the man moves on to another young woman!
These are the questions that smart men with a lot to lose ask themselves when a girl they have recently began dating comes along and claims she is pregnant. Most men of this caliber understand that poverty and needs make women deceiving and calculative and are wary of their female counterparts. In this event, the upper class male will take the female to the doctor to confirm pregnancy, more likely than not, insist that she does an abortion. If she insists that she wants to carry the child then she will most likely be on her own or the man will take care of the financial needs of the child but refuse to be involved with her because he thinks that she is trying to trap him. He resents her for getting herself pregnant albeit most men do not think that if they don’t want a baby they should simply use a condom.
What does a woman gain from the pregnancy con/scam?
If the relationship progresses as she wishes then she gets the security that she needs with the man she is involved with. If the man dumps her then she gets money from him by pretending she is pregnant to get conciliation money to buffer her hurt at being disposed off. If the man does not want anything to do with her, thinks she is tricking him or disbeliefs her then she is left with a father less child, a brand as a liar and manipulator and a narrow escape from a poisonous relationship!