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“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

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Monday, November 28, 2011

Ten THINGS Jamaican Men wish women knew

I sat on the veranda during the recent torrential downpour listening to my spouse and his friends discussing women and why they thought that Jamaican women do not understand "themselves". I ask them what were some of the issues they wished women understood that would make their relationships more cohesive and fulfilling.Here are their perspectives....

1. They love their male friends and their companionship. It is important to them to spend time with their male friends. They bond more with their brethren since they understand them more and can empathize with their situations and experiences than their spouse can. They also feel more comfortable sharing certain information with their male friends.

2. If you are the wife, you should not be concerned with the assorted women he sleeps with on the side since, you are the one that he comes home to every night. Women should turn a blind eye to their liaisons and infidelities. You should not question his loyalty to you if you are living with him and your needs are being met.

3. Do not answer his phone or search his phone. Men hate when women invade their private space and they do not want to answer for their indiscretion. They do not want to put the woman in a position for her to witness messages in his phone that may hurt her. You lose your right to question him about anything dis satisfactory you found in his phone since you are by law not suppose to search phone. "anything you get, you must take, you went looking for something and you got what you were searching for"

4.Men want to have fun!Do not think that when your Jamaican man starts having sex with you, its a license for you to go ahead and get pregnant and tie him down. Your Jamaican man wants to enjoy you and he wants to have fun with youbefore you decide to get big and bloated. The onus is on you to protect yourself and maintain the "Fun" in the relationship. Why would you want to complicate a situation with a man you met a month ago by getting pregnant and then by your second trimester, you realise you weren't getting what you wanted from the relationship.

5. Babies cant hold man. Do not think that you can trap a Jamaican man into a long term relationship by getting pregnant. You will end up with the wrong end of the stick. Most men (in reality) will withdraw their affection than indulge a woman when he discovers that she is pregnant after he has hinted that he doesn't want a child or the relationship is still in its embrionic stage. Additionally men do not think that having babies is a synonymous with ambition and progress. An ambitious, progressive woman is less inclined to get pregnant in Jamaica's brittle adverse financial climate.

6. Good Sex will keep any man around but it a wholesome woman that will get a man to marry her. Men are no longer "looking inna face" when it comes to relationships. They want a partner that can bring some money to the table. One hand cannot clap! They don't need a parasitic partner but a symbiosis in their relationship. They want a partner who is leading her separate independent financial life and is not entirely dependent on him for subsistence.

7. Men don't want women who act like men. According to these young men, they want a woman who is female in the traditional sense of the word. She doesn't question his whereabouts when he doesn't come home! She does not call his phone and demand to know where he is! She does not see him with other women and make a scene instead she turns a blind eye! He doesn't want a drama queen or a woman that is assertive and opinionated. He prefers docility and invisibility! A Woman who "keeps in" and takes care of his home while he traipsing across the island, having the time of his life.

8. Do not insult him in front of his friends or in public. You can even pretend to support his stance in front of his friends but do not damage his social image or reduce his peers respect for him by constantly asserting your opinions and emasculating him. This is the reason why he may be forced to insult and humiliate you so that he can retrieve his masculinity and peer validation. It is best to acquiesce and make him look good in front of friends.

9. Do not treat your man like a child even if he is being juvenile. Do not see him with his friends and beckon him to come to your in a maternal voice like his mother. Men do not like to be made to feel like boys in public. They like to appear as if they are in control of their relationship, even if they are not. Stroke his ego and tell him how much of a big man he is and you will have a relationship devoid of conflict and quarrels.

10. He prefers to go to the club with his friends than with you. It is not as fun when you are there because they have to be censoring their arguments and frolicking since they do not want to compromise your relationship. Clubbing is their time to unwind and have fun. It does not mean (according to them) it is an opportunity to cheat or find a prospective cheating partner. They are not hunting in packs but simply unwinding with friends while gawking ogling and wining women who are not their partners. They claim that they are just partying and that it doesn't mean anything and women should not be tight strung about men going clubbing with their male friends.

What do you think? Is There anything you would like to add or subs-tract?

27 comments:

  1. 2. If you are the wife, you should not be concerned with the assorted women he sleeps with on the side since, you are the one that he comes home to every night. Women should turn a blind eye to their liaisons and infidelities. You should not question his loyalty to you if you are living with him and your needs are being met.

    This statement so ridiculous I had to comment.
    But coming from a country that really don't have spiritual laws is a country in ruin. Then you come to a country that was founded on the Word of God and try to convey your ungodly and distorted views to people who actual know what is righteous and what is lawless before God. Even if many are not practicing what God's spiritual laws are...they still know it is unlawful by the spirit of God to have a wife and have other woman (or woman have another man other than her husband) on the side. That is called Adultery.
    And with the spouse who commits adultery, if not repentive to God, does not have a heritance in the Kingdom of God. And they have their part in the lake of fire if the do not repent and turn from their evil ways.

    And that is the biblical side. Not to mention the harm you cause your wife by touching another women the way
    you touch her as a lawful wife to you. It hurts her soul and the souls of the children if continued.

    What it is with Jamaican men is they have no self control and acting like dogs that wants to have sex with any woman other than your wife who cares for you and your children.
    No love for yourself (Jamaican Men).
    How can you say you love your wife looking into her face and then run out and be with another women sexually? Hurting not only her but your children.
    The children pretend like they don't know why mommy is crying while she is cooking your meals and taking care of your home. As they feel they have to put up with it just because you come home at night. A unloving and sorry excuse for a husband. And what? She should be happy?
    You do not have loyalty. Nor do you have love for yourself. A man who doesn't love him self can not love his wife.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you...Thank you.....Thank you for writing this because it was NEEDED.

      Delete

    2. If your man is pushing you away and acting distant

      Or if the guy you’re after isn’t giving you the time of day...

      Then it’s time to pull out all the stops.

      Because 99% of the time, there is only 1 thing you can say to a standoffish guy that will grab him by the heartstrings-

      And get his blood pumping at just the thought of you.

      Insert subject line here and link it to: Your ex won’t be able to resist?

      Once you say this to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message...

      It will flip his world upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you-

      And even begging to be with you.

      Here’s what I’m talking about:

      Insert subject line here and link it to: Is your man hiding something? He may need your help?

      Thanks again.











      .

      Delete
  2. Jamaican women: if any of you are reading this man's post about how you should treat a Jamaican man, and you believe these lines of BS. Then open
    your eyes and please stop letting
    men like this one think for you.
    Yes, he has a few good points but at the same time he interjects his chauvinist BS to women who solely depend on their man & hang on to every word this philander is trying to throw at you all. He is trying to convey his incompetent character on you. And he honestly thinks that is being a man.
    He takes responsibility from a Man and throw it on the woman. So when he fails (and he will) He can blame it on you because he doesn't want to feel like less than a man because he has failed at being a Real man, by treating you less than the beautiful black woman you are. Know your worth & stance.
    Don't let a man like this tell you who you are as a woman when they can't
    be a man themselves & treat you with the respect and dignity you deserve.
    Yes, don't have children with a boy. Wait for a Real Man who has control over his own body..because if you find a man who has self control. You find a man that has strength and character. A Husband of One Wife (You), who love & cares enough about himself and who will not belittle his wife or potential wife.

    You can buy a dog or pick up a stray in the "yard" if you want a animal. They would make better companions than doggs with two legs who is like this man.

    #GetYoLifeBack
    #GetYoWomsnhoodBack
    #GetManNnotABoy
    #LoveYourselfasAWoman
    #YouAreWorthItBlackWoman

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In what chacne dose a American white lady have a relationship with a Jamaican guy

      Delete
  3. I totally agree with 4 & 5. There's so many Jamaican women who think they can trap a man by having children with him. And they find out pretty quickly that men in general will have a different view about you. Though you have his children or child.
    Jamaican women: Please try to practice self control...or take birth control if possible.
    Unless a man want children by you...you shouldn't even think about having children with a man. And sometime not even then.
    True story: I was pregnant by a Jamaican man and had a miscarriage. I still upset about the baby being lost. But when I think on it...it is probably better that the baby is with the Father than here with me and him in our difficult situation.
    8 & 9 I agree with too. Treat your man like a man.
    But at the same time being docile and weak as some of these other post are sayings...just gives Jamaican men a pass at being a dog. There is no way a woman who cares for herself would let a man dictate their lives when this bastard wants to step out on you with another woman. Women like this give their men an excuse to cheat. In other words...you are telling him how to treat you.
    You have a right to demand what you want from your man...since he demand it from you. And I am not saying you demand like some crazy woman. But what I am saying is...if he has the right to expect certain things from you...then you have that same right to expect certain things from him.
    And if he can't meet your requirements...then you shouldn't have to meet his. And you shouldn't marry a man if he is gonna cheat on you. Turning a blind eye to infidelity when you truly love a man is not stopping you from hurting. I'm all for it if you don't love yourself or the man. But if you do and he suppose to love you...then why would he cheat on you? And if he is cheating then why are you putting up with it?
    Let a man know from jump what you expect from him & what you don't want. And if he can't meet with those requirements that you set for yourself to be happy in a relationship...then drop his ass like a piece of hot coal. And move on til you find someone who can meet you on middle ground. Or else you will be the one with the short end of the stick.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Also I would like to comment on the author of this who wrote this article.

    I do not like how this author gives men a pass at being philanders and cheats.
    As if, the man is doing the woman a favor by cheating on her.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Well... According to this blog it is apparent jamaican men need to grow up. This post was complete bs and I hope no woman ever suffers a man like the ones this post describes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally agree with you. They really have a lot of growing to do if they want to be considered Men...My Jamaican man is a very supportive and sweet hearted man...at the same time he has these foolish ideals about what a man is. Mostly ever time I have a strong opinion about something he may have a strong opinion about..he gets kind of bent out of shape about it and starts trying to bring me down about my thinking....it makes me a lil mad because he expects me to follow like a lil puppy and I just can't...
      So yes, I agree they need to grow up or the need to be schooled again.

      Delete
    2. It don't matter what type of man he is. All men love a women that listen to him but he loves what he dose. Even when a real woman listens to him.They love when a women listens . I met this Jamaican guy and all he talks about is business.I felt when he approached me. Talking about business and how to sell things. He had a lovely smile and listening to him was something. But when we aren't around other ppl we talk about sex. Then the he's phone rang. He saidI'm in entertaining a young lady right now call you later.I'm a older women in my 50's and he is in his 40's.I'm still learning him.He has to have me around him. I do have old adult kids and I have ground kids and love my family but my kids need to no that I need someone too and it's time to move on.By being around him he is a good talker and have a good body too. He is very amazing.

      Delete
  6. After being in relationship with him for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: drehijelespellhome@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL
    ADDRESS IS:drehijelespellspellhome@gmail.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEM

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wouldnt recommend using spells on someone who don't want you.
      Even if the spell works...wouldn't you want a man who naturally want you instead of being hexed by some chamer witch?

      Delete
  7. Duh! This is not just for Jamaican men but for all men...

    ReplyDelete
  8. This is crap! I have a Jamaican husband and he doesnt lack self control when it comes to need I g other women....mine is a very devoted man and a true Christian....he loves me and our son very much and while yes there are men of any colour that choose to pit sex above their wives and marriages not all men and not all jamaican men are incapable of being loyal to their wives!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Jamaican men don't have to play by these rules, but by far the older ones do. He forgot to mention they do not believe in taking their women out if the woman can drive.
    Marriage to a Jamaican man can be a waste of time if you find a man who does not value his woman's opinion and never spends time with her. She is basically married to herself. She may get sex, but not a real companion who she can enjoy spending her life with.
    Someone please teach the young Jamaican men to behave better. Men who hang out with each other only in my book could be easily mistaken for bottymen. The exact thing they despise.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I think this goes real deep, and is coming from generations. A single mother raises a son most often he does not try to be the change (positive) he does not differ he trod on the path, abusing women and not making a solid foundation for his child/children , then his son repeats this unless he decides to be the change which is usually not the case. I only agree with 4 and 5 partially due to the fact that it takes two for pregnancy to occur you were ejaculating in her (having fun as you guys put it) not knowing if she is on birth control then you want out just like that the men of today have placed so much strain on women that we are giving up on them . They have empty positions to be filled , empty promises to be fulfilled. God bless those good ones trying help us to love and appreciate them .They expect all those ten things stated above but what will they have to offer to get all that . You cant have your cake and eat it bae sorry lol.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Wow ! Does the woman get to cheat and get away with it too?

    No self-respecting woman would stay with a man who makes her suffer and brings no economic benefit.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Men and fuck boys are different. Jamaican and other chauvinist cultures encourage males to be fuck boys and women accept and encourage it. If he can't value you stop trying to figure it out let him go fuck someone else over.

    Funny all these requirements he has and nobody is thinking about YOUR requirements. Your job is not to concern your self with what he wants but what YOU WANT.

    Very simple.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I will read this more another time, right now I am shocked at some things mentioned. At the end of the day, nothing works with men and women, wihout some values, morals, standards, self-respect, and respect for each other. I am an Australian woman, married to a Jamaican man, and we would not be together now, if it were not real love, we respect each other. And we ignore other people who are jealous or any negative words from others. I also think real men with self-discipline and character, don't need to spend that much time with other males, especially at clubs. A mature man is either working, with his lady, doing constructive things, exercising, housework, cooking. relaxing at home, or visiting his relatives/ family, helping his neighbours, gardening, etc. plenty of things to do without wasting time oggling or discussing women, which is disrespectful.

    ReplyDelete
  14. the worst part is that a woman wrote this...

    ReplyDelete
  15. This is a horrible article. This is the reason some men believe they can do disrespectful and disloyal things to their women. The female who wrote this has to be an insecure door mat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you desperately wondering, "How to get my husband back?" after much time has passed without your husband coming back to you? Right now you are stuck in a very desperate situation, as your mind feels exhausted, while your body is willing to go to any extent to get your husband back why not contact Dr.Kwale spell whose email is: kwaletemple@gmail.com or call him on +2348056141089 to get your husband back within 24hours.

      Delete
  16. After being in relationship with him for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: drosedebamenspellhome@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS:drosedebamenspellhome@gmail.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEM

    ReplyDelete
  17. Well Hi all, I am originally from Cuba and I am live in Miami for 25 years. I met this Jamaica guy 9 years ago and we have being friend since then. When i meet him he was in the process of divorcing his wife.Eventually we started dating , in reality i wasn't interested in him at all but to be honest i was single and he always seduce me. During this 9 years I still telling him that I dont want him but i still ending in his bed. Well eventually I started spending the weekends at his house and we start to go out together very often. Find to the point!! 1- Regardless that he asked me to spend the weekends with him he want me to stay home until he comeback from the dominoes with his friends sometimes 4 hours, So that part is true. 2-He have pictures of woman in his phone kissing him. when i asked him he tell what i doing touching his phone, so that is true 3-I am never have to asked him for nothing he always know what i need, never scream at me but don't like me to complain he ask me to stop that crap. 4-Sex is just insane i can go no where I am staying !!!Well end of the history most of the initial comments made by the person about the Jamaicans are true, I hear when they talking and that is exactly how they thinl . Deal with it.

    ReplyDelete
  18. my partner and I have been trying for a baby for over two years now, We were going to a fertility clinic for about 5 months before somebody at baby center told us to contact this spell caster who is so powerful, We contacted him at this email; babaka.wolf@gmail.com or Facebook at priest.babaka , for him to help us, then we told him our problem, he told us that we will conceive once we follow his instructions ,but after two years of trying we were at a point where we were willing to try anything. And I'm glad we came to Priest Babaka, Because his pregnancy spell cast and herbal remedy help us, and I honestly believe him, and his gods really helped us as well, I am thankful for all he has done. contact him via email: babaka.wolf@gmail.com or Facebook at priest.babaka if you are trying to have a baby or want your lover back. he has powers to do it, he has done mine

    ReplyDelete
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