Who is more selfish? The Monogamist or the Cheater?

"Any long-term relationship that’s successful is really a myth that two people create together … and myths are built of lies, and there’s usually some kernel of truth…"

The biggest issue women in Jamaica have with men is the polygynous Nature of our men who endorse promiscuity among their brethren but consider women who sleep around as whores. 

It is not a fair demand. What if the man catches a disease?  When a man has an external affair and a child comes into play it signals that he is having unprotected sex. What if he got a disease instead of a baby? What is more selfish? Monogamy or Cheating. 

Cheating angers the offended partner because sex is such a personal, intimate activity involving two persons. When someone brings another person into play with the same level of openness then you are no longer in a relationship with two persons but three. 

I thought about women stating how selfish cheaters were since they want to have their cake and eat it too but if you look at it from another perspective those who wish to keep someone to themselves maybe perceived as being selfish too. 

Why would someone want to own another person? People who cheat will say that it is their bodies and they are free to do with it as they please.  Who are you to tell them what to do with their penis or vagina.? Sex is not a commodity you can walk around with, it's not tangible so you can pick it up and show others. It is an experience. You share yourself with someone else. How can one person determine whom you should share yourself with? 

People cheat because of dissatisfaction but most cheaters are those who are always looking for an upgrade. They think that they deserve better. They settle but are scanning for the next attractive person to share themselves with. It is selfishness, the cheater gets to keep both women committed to him. They have to suffer heartaches, insecurities and anxieties when he is away while he enjoys the company of both without consequence. 

People like to swear for their partners. Some cheaters are clever to the point where you do not find our about their other families until perhaps he is deceased. Cheating will forever be a challenge for men.  The way women dress today and the  throng of young, supple women leaving school on a yearly basis mocks the monogamous inclination of men. 

Some men do not consider sexual encounters cheating since they did not lead to relationships. Men will say " mi want a piece of her", if he is not emotionally committed to her, if they are not having sex on a regular basis then it is not a relationship.  Cheating is defined distinctly by different people. 

"To be a good writer, you not only have to write a great deal but you have to care. You do not have to have a complicated moral philosophy. But a writer always tries, I think, to be a part of the solution, to understand a little about life and to pass this on."

Twelve Things Jamaican Women wish Men Knew

Twelve Things Jamaican Women wish Jamaican Men Knew

When i collated the article "Ten Things Jamaican Men wish Jamaican women knew about Relationships", It was meant to be a satire piece.Most people missed the sarcasm because they were so upset with the suggestions made by these Jamaican men who i will say represent the average Jamaican male. They missed the disclaimer about not all Jamaican men share these views. Let us put this one in bold.

These are the opinions of some Jamaican women and does not reflect the ideologies of all Jamaican women. They are not facts, the article is not meant to conquer or convert but to inspire discussion so we can come at truth. In doing so we will get the facts out.

1. Jamaican women know that when a man says he wants an independent woman, he does not really mean he wants a woman who can complement his financial position. Some women are of the opinion that these men really want a woman to supplement their lives economically. "Them want smady fe mind them". Additionally a Jamaican man will take the "independent woman" money and "mine" some woman who cannot help him. He will take your car and go out with women who cannot buy gas put in it. Jamaican women say that they are wising up to this "con" and are only independent for their own subsistence. They have no intention of "minding" any big man.

2. Women like Oral sex, Women know you like it too. You just do not want your friends to know you like it or do it but the women say that is okay, they will keep the secret for you. Women are open to experimenting with you they are just socialized to see it as indignifying. Women are changing and moving into the twenty first century.

3. When a Jamaican woman says she wants to go on a date. She means she would like to at least go to a social setting where you can have a few drinks and talk, get to know each other. A date is not in your bedroom demanding sex. These men nowadays do not want to date anymore, when they call and ask for you to meet with them, they would like to know straight off the bat if "you ago run some". Some will find some way to postpone the date if they do not hear what they want to.Some women flat out lie and tell them yes. Women say they would like to go on date therefore when a man is 'looking' a woman, please prepare for at least one date. In the dating phase when a woman text, call or Whatsapp you, it is because she likes you. A woman will pursue a man she likes and if he is interested then he is expected to mirror her interest to establish some form of consistency. It does not means she is desperate or she is being clingy. 'She just like you'.

4. If you do not want a baby. Use a condom. Do not ask a woman "how that happen?" when you went horseback riding bareback. If you do not want a child with a woman, use protection and insist that she uses hers so that she is clear on where you stand. A woman can only call your name on the " Jacket" if you went there.

5. When a woman is willing to spend her hard earn money on you, it is not because she is a fool. It is because she loves you and wants you to be happy. If she can afford to she will buy her man anything to make his life convenient so that he can be at his best. There is no greater joy that when the one you love is happy and stress free. When a person is happy, they have more fulfilling relationships. Women in Jamaica and within the diaspora complain that if you "assist" some Jamaican men "they take you for a fool". It is ironic that men do not see themselves as "fools" when they spending thousands of dollar on some chick who sleeps with them every other month.

6. Most women have never had an orgasm. Most men do not have a clue about fulfilling sex. A lot of women stick around because they love you or the idea of you not because of how good you are in the bedroom. Most Jamaican men do not even cuddle, "Slam, Bam, Thank You Madam" The caveman tactics in bed does not always work and men insist that women find creative ways to maximize pleasure and yet they come as they are, thinking that great sex only requires an erect penis. The gist is that a woman can still feel sexually satisfied without an orgasm. Too many men coming into the bedroom with sexual expectations and not bringing any prowess to the bed. Dance hall music convinced our men that their pleasure was more important than female satisfaction. These men will gladly say a 'vagina" was not good when in truth they just lay down on them back expecting great sex.

7. "Old Fire stick easy fe Ketch" Hmmmmm. In some instances that might be not be entirely accurate. Some men feel that because you had sex with them one time then they can always get it from you whenever they like. Women are saying that when they throw water on the fire stick, no amount a gasoline "can make it light back". Some men think that because a woman has a child with him he is still entitled to sex, women are standing their ground. If she broke up with you, she breaks all ties with you.

8. Do not see a woman on the road and harass her. If she is interested she will let you know. A grown man knows when a woman likes him from when she does not. Do not think you can convince her to like you by harassing her with "Pssssst", insulting her or manhandling her in public. She will hate you with a passion and you ruin any chances you might ever have with her.

9. Men will insist that a woman keeps up her physical appearance and yet he will gain weight, grow his hair and facial hair without any complains from his partner. Women are saying men should try to keep in shape and maintain physique. Women do not like the beer belly but a woman loves differently from man. She will stay with him if he has eighty percent of what she needs and in (a Jamaican man case, if he has fifty percent of what she needs in a relationship), some women settle for far less. Men on the other hand want perfection well women are saying they want men with an impeccable body including a good size penis, good job, money and the whole works. Women might settle but they want an ideal man too. They want the mills and Boon's husband with his Fortune Five Hundred Job, Rolls Royce parked in front of his Mansion somewhere beside a Lake.

10. Women want help in the home. It does not emasculate you to assist with the chores. Doing chores together creates an opportunity for bonding and some good reasoning. You are not less of man if you assist with washing the clothes, ironing and cooking. Do not believe what your friends say about you being " Boy a yard". Women adore men who help out in the home, spending time with children, assisting with homework and watching television together.

11. What men call "nagging" is a woman's way of showing she cares about you or that she is concerned . She is not trying to upset you, she merely needs reassurance. If she stops "nagging" you: do not think that she got the message, she might have found your replacement. If you do not want her, just put her out onto the streets and you will be surprised at the number of men who would be interested in her. Do not think that because a woman might look "pop down" that another man won't want her and you can treat her badly. What you are not willing to do, some other man will.

12.We are in a relationship with you and not with your friends or your family members. It is full time men learn how to tell their mothers, sisters and female cousins to respect their partners even if they do not like them. Friends who are still bachelors must learn to respect their male friends who are in a relationship. Please tell your friends do not show up at late hours of the night asking you to go clubbing when they know that you are now a family man. A man has to compromise in a relationship just as he expects a female to make sacrifices. A lot of men will insist that an in-law that they do not like does not come around his house and yet his family visit whenever are sometimes disrespectful to their partners. A man will demand that his wife does not maintain friendship with women of questionable character and yet he keeps his promiscuous male friends and goes out with them on a regular basis. Women are saying cut the double standard.

Name some other points you think Jamaican men should know about women and relationships!

Quote :“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie"

Ten Things Jamaican women Wish Jamaican Men Knew

Ten Things Jamaican Women wish Jamaican Men Knew 

 When i collated the article "Ten Things Jamaican Men wish Jamaican women knew about Relationships", It was meant to be a satire piece.Most people missed the sarcasm because they were so upset with the suggestions made by these Jamaican men who i will say represent the average Jamaican male. They missed the disclaimer about not all Jamaican men share these views. Let us put this one in bold. 

These are the opinions of some Jamaican women and does not reflect the ideologies of all Jamaican women. They are not facts, the article is not meant to conquer or convert but to inspire discussion so we can come at truth. In doing so we will get the facts out. 

 1. Jamaican women know that when a man says he wants an independent woman, he does not really mean he wants a woman who can complement his financial position. Some women are of the opinion that these men really want a woman to supplement their lives economically. "Them want smady fe mind them". Additionally a Jamaican man will take the "independent woman" money and "mine" some woman who cannot help him. He will take your car and go out with women who cannot buy gas put in it. Jamaican women say that they are wising up to this "con" and are only independent for their own subsistence. They have no intention of "minding" any big man. 

 2. Women like Oral sex, Women know you like it too. You just do not want your friends to know you like it or do it but the women say that is okay, they will keep the secret for you. 

3. When a Jamaican woman says she wants to go on a date. She means she would like to at least go to a social setting where you can have a few drinks and talk, get to know each other. A date is not in your bedroom demanding sex. These men nowadays do not want to date anymore, when they call and ask for you to meet with them, they would like to know straight off the bat if "you ago run some". Some will find some way to postpone the date if they do not hear what they want to.Some women flat out lie and tell them yes. Women say they would like to go on date therefore when a man is 'looking' a woman, please prepare for at least one date. 

4. In the dating phase when a woman text, call or Whatsapp you, it is because she likes you. A woman will pursue a man she likes and if he is interested then he is expected to mirror her interest to establish some form of consistency. It does not means she is desperate or she is being clingy. 'She just like you'. 

5. When a woman is willing to spend her hard earn money on you, it is not because she is a fool. It is because she loves you and wants you to be happy. If she can afford to she will buy her man anything to make his life convenient so that he can be at his best. There is no greater joy that when the one you love is happy and stress free. When a person is happy, they have more fulfilling relationships. Women in Jamaica and within the diaspora complain that if you "assist" some Jamaican men "they take you for a fool". It is ironic that men do not see themselves as "fools" when they spending thousands of dollar on some chick who sleeps with them every other month. 

6. Most women have never had an orgasm. Most men do not have a clue about fulfilling sex. A lot of women stick around because they love you or the idea of you not because of how good you are in the bedroom. Most men do not even cuddle, "Slam, Bam, Thank You Madam" The caveman tactics in bed does not always work and men insist that women find creative ways to maximize pleasure and yet they come as they are, thinking that great sex only requires an erect penis. The gist is that a woman can still feel sexually satisfied without an orgasm.  Too many men coming into the bedroom with sexual expectations and not bringing any prowess to the bed. Dance hall music convinced our men that their pleasure was more important than female satisfaction. These men will gladly say a 'vagina" was not good when in truth they just lay down on them back expecting great sex. 

7. "Old Fire stick easy fe Ketch" Hmmmmm. In some instances that might be not be entirely accurate. Some men feel that because you had sex with them one time then they can always get it from you whenever they like. Women are saying that when they throw water on the fire stick, no amount a gasoline can make it light back. Some men think that because a woman has a child with him he is still entitled to sex, women are standing their ground. If she broke up with you, she breaks all ties with you.

8. Do not see a woman on the road and harass her. If she is interested she will let you know. A grown man knows when a woman likes him from when she does not. Do not think you can convince her to like you by harassing her with "Pssssst", insulting her or manhandling her in public. She will hate you with a passion and you ruin any chances you might ever have with her.

9. Men will insist that a woman keeps up her physical appearance and yet he will gain weight, grow his hair and facial hair without any complains from his partner.  Women are saying men should try to keep in shape and maintain physique. Women do not like the beer belly but a woman loves differently from man. She will stay with him if he has eighty percent of what she needs and in (a Jamaican man case, if he has fifty percent of what she needs in a relationship), some women settle for far less. Men on the other hand want perfection well women are saying they want men with an impeccable body including a good size penis, good job, money and the whole works. 

10.We are in a relationship with you and not your friends or your family members. It is full time men learn how to tell their mothers, sisters and female cousins to respect their partners even if they do not like them. Friends who are still bachelors must learn to respect their males friends who are in a relationship. Please tell your friends do not show up at late hours of the night asking you to go clubbing when they know that you are now a family man. A man has to compromise in a relationship just as he expects a female to make sacrifices. A lot of men will insist that an in-law that they do not like does not come around his house and yet his family visit when they feel like and disrespect their women to their faces. A man will demand that his wife does not maintain friendship with women of questionable character and yet he keeps his promiscuous male friends and goes out with them on a regular basis. Women are saying cut the double standard. 

 Name some other points you think Jamaican men should know about women and relationships!

Quote :“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie"

 

Quit bashing Jamaican Men!

" To Find Fault is Easy, To do better is difficult"

 When i collated the article "Ten Things Jamaican Men wish Jamaican women knew about Relationships", It was meant to be a satire piece.Most people missed the sarcasm because they were so upset with the suggestions made by these Jamaican men who i will say represent the average Jamaican male. They missed the disclaimer about not all Jamaican men share these views. Let us put this one in bold. 

Link to the article Click Here http://jablogz.com/2014/08/ten-things-jamaican-men-wish-women-knew/

What I wrote was someone else's opinions, They are not facts, the article is not meant to conquer or convert but to inspire discussion so we can come at truth. In doing so we will get the facts out. 

" This is what we Jamaican men have to deal with quote. "  One commentator wrote! 

He missed the point entirely. He should have said why would a Jamaican woman write something like this and if this is not really true, it explains the expectation most women have of men.

He thinks I said bad things about Jamaican men then he should ask the average woman on the streets and he will no doubt get more colourful responses. 

" man a dog"

"Man a crasses"

" a bay worthless man deh a Jamaica"

" me done with man me jus take weh me can get and leave" 

" them man nowadays no want nobody"

 I understand he might be very upset about what these men said but he should take into consideration that these men were socialized in a different context from his, this is sadly how the average man on the street thinks. The man on the street socialized within a working class setting, influence by Dancehall culture, unexposed to esteemed values, his convictions unfiltered by lack of education thinks like this, not all men but a staggering majority. 

This may account for the numerous single parent homes with mothers at the helm and unwanted pregnancies among young women. He should not be angry at me. He should be upset with his brothers who embrace these ideologies but as always people will attack the messenger and not the message. It is so much easier to make it personal. The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off! 

But it explains a lot with regards to how even our politicians reason in parliament, they attack each other, dismiss suggestions that disagrees with their ideologies and we end up back at the same place where we started. People are more concerned about being "right" than admitting the truth.

Women are pissed that men would think like that, well some of these women should explain why they still single and why they raising their kids alone? Your man is not the rule, he is the exception to the rule. 

Sociologist and commentators have not adequately stressed how the social issues we face such as crime and poverty are connected to the family structures that we have. Our women get into relationships with these same type of men who gets them pregnant and leave them. These are the type of men a woman is force to leave with her children because he refuses to put down his philandering ways and she ends up alone with children she might not be able to support. These are the kind of men who impregnate girls and want sex without responsibility. I hope you get the picture that i am painting here. It does not mean all men are like this...But you get the point.

I am upset to. I am upset that there are women out there who tolerate this behavior and give men the impression that it is normative and when I meet them and insist on higher standards, I am crossed off as bitter, crazy or uptight. I am upset that women have lowered our standards so much that men think anything goes or anything counts. I don't entirely blame men because I see girls falling into the same trap their mothers did. Women are apart of this process of change. Women are the agents of social change. If we would insist on higher standards then we might get somewhere.  

There is an unswerving, constant philosophy among our women that our men are of no good. Some might say this notion is farfetch but not because it does not reflect your reality it does not mean it is not truth.  Not because someone has a differing opinion from yours, does it mean theirs is erroneous or inaccurate. 

The majority  of the social maladies that we are experiencing as a people stems from a breakdown in family life and families are created from relationships. Maybe! Just maybe if we fixed our relationships, we could fix Jamaica. Let the chips fall where they may. 

Link to the Article here: http://jablogz.com/2014/08/ten-things-jamaican-men-wish-women-knew/

Ten ways to detox your Life Now!

The smaller your circle is the more significant your life becomes. You do not need a crowd of people loving for what you represent or the idea of you. You will find out soon enough that it is not the approval of the crowd that will raise your spirit but valuing the recognition from those who love you the most.

1. Get rid of fake friends. Get people who you have to “fake” around in order to feel accepted out of your life. Anyone whose presence makes you feel uncomfortable or small maybe giving off negative energy towards you, what you pick up on is definitely their vibe. If you are an empath, someone who can read other people’s energies then their bad vibes will come at you, full force and full circle.


2. Avoid situations that make you feel less than your best. If you do not like a particular club, faction or group then avoid them. The less you see them, the better off you will be.

3. Cut your social media activity. Sometimes you do not want to see the negative shit people post on Facebook, so do what i do and delete them or simply deactivate your account.

4. Avoid family members that you have to be constantly proving yourself to. Not because they are related to you or you share blood it means that you will always get along. Relatives have differing personalities. So if you and a family do not get along, avoid them, don’t add them on Facebook.

5. Declutter your life by throwing away old things, old clothes, old furnitures and old books you no longer read, give them to the library. Like a tree from time to time you have prune your leaves and grow afresh.

6. Holding on to toxic people is like having a gangrene arm and refusing to cut it off. If you do not get rid of them they will eventually kill you like the gangrene that will spread to to rest of your body.


7. Quit your dead end job. If your job is stressing you need to leave it. There is nothing crippling than a bad working environment, it can choke the ambition and creativity out of you.

8. Get rid of the partner that makes you unhappy. If your love life depresses you, stresses you and make you angry all the time then it is time to move on with your life.

9. Change the food you eat. You will be surprised at how a change of diet can lift your spirit. Sometimes all that junk food can add junk to your life.

10. Exercise, take a walk, enjoy a nature trail. Smell the roses and drink from a stream, bathe in a river. Do some wild, fun, spontaneous that makes you catch your breath and breathe life into your existence.


Read more: http://gameolosophy.com/games/sports/total-club-manager/ten-ways-to-detox-your-life/#ixzz3BqOkhGCj