I give thanks to the people who "used" me because It is within these moments of exploitation that I am exposed to the intrinsic nature of the human capacity. We are all uniquely selfish people, we simply go about our self serving pursuits differently. We are all self seeking creature s struggling to fulfill our destinies.
The subtle lessons of selfishness and how we are all committed to achieving our egocentric goals with little regards for those we step on in the process is evident in how we are dedicated to individual success than aspiring for group progress as children in the classroom.We accuse others of egoism when they choose themselves over us. We want others to sacrifice themselves to see us succeed, It is this brand of narcissism that is creating the problems we see in the world today.
I recall finding myself attracted to start up businesses,believing that within every new entrepreneur I met who employed me because of my drive and passion to succeed: that I could maximize my own talents. I saw in them what I wanted for myself and admired them for taking that tentative step to fulfill their dreams. I didn't particularly liked the way my dreams were tied to theirs. If they failed, I would be a failure and I would have wasted time building someone else dreams, while my goals lay sideline in the creative clutter of my mind.
The difference between these business people and those from my streets is that while my people will sit and wait on one of us to make it in hopes that the rest will benefit, these exploiters don't ride on the dreams of others, they grab this bull of a life by its horn and pull it into submission, trampling the cow hands in the process.
I believed more in their dreams than they did in their own ideas. I worked often without much salary, often times frustrated but hopeful that things will improve as long as I was around. These exploiters taught me to have faith irrespective of the dreary circumstances in my own abilities. I was committed to seeing it through while on the other hand my employers were more interested in getting rich.
They could no longer afford to pay me. I would have to worked to earn my salary which means unless the company was making a profit,I would not be compensated. If my efforts proved futile, I would have earned nothing.
I learned to work even when I was not receiving any financial compensation. I was building my dreams and therefore I found no sorrow in working without pay. I applied my faith to my own abilities, confident that it will work out in the end.I am not ashamed of once being a slave to others, it taught me how to a better person and to rise above servitude with nobility.
I am grateful for my experiences, they have shaped who I am. And even if this sliver of a life means nothing to others, I have made myself valuable to me.
© copyright Crystal Evans
