Ten Rules of Engagement with Your Jamaican Man!!!!

So we have heard this notion hundreds of times, we have read the books and watched the movies of some tell tale sign that translates whether or not your current love interest is even remotely interested in you.

1. I think a man or a woman knows when someone wants to be with them, they often avidly pursue their object of affection. If someone is not calling you, speaking to you or display any interest in your life then that person's interest is already invested elsewhere. Use yourself as a measure of your prospective partner. As a matter a fact, use the guy who likes you too much who you want nothing to do with as a yardstick for the one you are chasing and is running away from you.

2. The one whom you have to be begging to return a message or a text is definitely not that into you. When we love people we want to be around them so that we can catch pieces of their lives, share their most intimate moments of joys and offer comfort in times of despair. If the guy you like doesn't call when your mother dies or offer condolences, then he definitely does not care about you.

3. The one who only texts or calls to ask when he will be able to have sex with you. It is okay if you do not have a problem in being only an orifice for some boy's penis but if you are hoping for a relationship with a man who is clearly only interested in the physical part of your correspondence and finds your best personality boring, has never invited you on a date or outing, does not talk about taking it to the next level and often refers to your relationship followed by hashtag #Just for sex or We have a ting? This nigga is clearly not that into you.

4. After having a wonderful introduction he excuses himself to eat his dinner or whatever. Women know that we use the phone even in the shower and our list of boy toys text us even when they are driving. A dude who is really into you will not leave your next meeting up to chance. He will make an effort to see you. So if your current crush idea of your next meet goes something like " we will link up next time or me will see you a next time" with no solicitation for a number he is clearly not that into you or maybe his plate is really full now and he will find someway to get in contact with you when he runs out of options.

5. If you are afraid to text or call your love interest then your feet is already halfway through the door. Your inhibition might be faulty but it is always a manifestation of things within your sub-concious that tells you that this guy is not that into you. Something you notice in his behaviour like a knit of the brow, that odd feeling you get from being around him which is him often subtle giving you a negative vibe. If approaching your crush makes you feel uncomfortable then maybe you should relax and let him do some of the work in getting this union off the jump start.

6. If you are having sex with someone and you feel used or exploited then that is your cue to stop. Sex is a beautiful natural activity and one should feel fulfilled and relaxed after sex. If you are feeling pressured, unloved and sexual intercourse is like doing an exam you did not study for then you are having sex with someone who is not that into you. Face it, you know when you do something with a guy who loves you, how he treats you and how he responds to your needs. If he is demanding, insistent on his own pleasure, quick to leave after the act and discards you like a used football jersey then you are clearly screwing a guy who is not that into you.

7. The Guy who just broke up with his ex that he is still brooding over is the last man you want to have a relationship with. He will not only be emotionally unavailable but he will carry over his resentment for his ex into this relationship. Not that men do not rebound very fast from a break up but if your new beau is someone recently old dude then you might be sharing your life with a transient lover who is using you to dull the ache in his heart, to soothe his bruised ego and might not be entirely into you. If he leads the relationship with a " am not ready for another relationship or we can do a thing on the down low or is afraid to let the world know that you two are an item". He is clearly not that into you.

8. If you are in a relationship already and you are interested in a new person then it is best to leave the one you are with first. You will not get one hundred percent from a man who knows you already has another man. He will take whatever you offer but he will never truly respect you because he knows you are cheating on your beau. If you decide to cheat then ensure that if your partner leaves you then he/she will be willing to dedicate themselves to you. If not you would have wasted their time and yours. You exchanged your bronze for a wash over gold.

9. Classism affects relationships in that a woman has to be careful how willing she is to settle or sleep with someone who might be of a lower social, intellectual or financial status. It is not being prejudicial but the social image fall out from sleeping with someone who is not your equal can leave an indelible mark on not only your life but your reputation. It is like doctor sleeping with a scammer. You should not be having a relationship with someone with whom you are ashamed of and can never be public with. Pursuing relationships that if they are made public could spell disgrace are one of the reasons middle class women end up with fatherless children.

10. Don't give away your love for free. It doesn't mean a man should have to buy your affection it only states that if you value yourself then make him at least work for it. Do not hand it to him on a platter. If someone values your company then they will not see spending time with you as work or some kind of inconvenience. If your gut is telling you that you are in a messed up situation then maybe you need to get out.

Interview Response Crystal Evans the Writer: Smash Words Distributors

Interview with Crystal Evans

Do you remember the first story you ever wrote?

Yes. I was in High School and i started writing a historical romance based on slavery. A fascinating story that i hope to complete one day.

What is your writing process?

It is largely influenced by my mood and my experiences on a day to day basis. I believe a reader can identify with a story that speaks to his every day life. He can find somebody within that story from his life to relate to.
Do you remember the first story you ever read, and the impact it had on you?
Yes i do remember my first story but the first book that i read that impacted my life was Harper Lee's " To kill a Mocking Bird". Being of Caribbean heritage and living in a post colonial society, studying caribbean history, that book spoke volumes about race and injustice in this hemisphere. The Book made me cry.

How do you approach cover design?

hahha. Am not very good at graphics. But i like art and i like deeper meanings..so i try as much as possible to promote what i have in the book on the cover as they say a picture says a thousand words.

What are your five favorite books, and why?

"To Kill a MockingBird" By Harper Lee
"Green Days by the River" By, Micheal Anthony
" The School Master" By Earl Lovelace
"The Philosophies of Marcus Garvey"
"The Voice of the Jamaican Ghetto" Adidjah Palmer aka Vybz Kartel

What do you read for pleasure?

Harlequinns, Mills and Boons, I like short Romance Novels

What is your e-reading device of choice?

Definitely a Google Nexus, Kindle or Kobo App
What book marketing techniques have been most effective for you?
Blogging.

Describe your desk?

My desk has my music, My laptop, a burning incense, my iphone, my tablet, a drink of herbal tea, a cup of water and numerous typing sheet and pencils, last but not least my favorite book.

Where did you grow up, and how did this influence your writing?

I grew up in small rural community in Westmoreland, Jamaica. We have a lot of canefields and rivers, with small moutains. I remember a few tragedies that happened in my area that forced me as a child to look at society differently. A young man i knew was shot by the police for urinating near a car. I remembered hearing how he was killed over some woman. And i guess that's the first time i thought police weren't as safe as those police men books i read at the primary school i attended. I was in my bed and the gunshots woke me up. It happened at a dead yard a few houses from where i lived.

A little boy that frequent the standpipe we went to as children to fetch water, drowned in a "two sister" river. That was very tragic because as child, it never occurred to me that children died too. I was at the age of around eight coming face to face for the first time with my own mortality. I remembered the funeral, in particular the graves, everything else is blurry but i remember the bands and my grandmother singing the protestant hymns and the church members reverie as they sent home another soul.
Life was good as child, I played ball with my sister and cousins, I went to the nieghbours yard and played "Dolly House" with the children, We had weddings and married each other with "Bulla cake and water". My childhood was fun and my grandmother provided for us. We were very happy as kids. My teenage years were tumultuous and am still getting over that phase at twenty five.

Coming from a lower socio-economic family, and Growing up in a working class community, i know a thing about humanity at its most basal level, unfiltered by exposure to education or progressive values. I know what "ghetto People" are intrinsically like because i am child of that process. I am very much affected by the way i was socialised.

When did you first start writing?


When i was about fourteen or so. I discovered i liked my imagination. I daydreamed a lot and i wanted to share my inner world with the outside world.

What's the story behind your latest book?

The Barn Raiders is actually taken from Anthony "B"s song, "Nobody want to plant the corn, everybody want to raid the barn." He is one of my favorite vintage reggae artiste. The book is basically about notions of people i grew up with and some i meet where we all want to be successful and we are only happy for the progress of others if we somehow believe we have something to gain. Your friend can become successful if you are allowed to enjoy his success through proxy. People love you until you become their competition.

What motivated you to become an indie author?

I am penniless therefore going the route of paying for a publication is expensive. But i got help, financially from alot of people i have met over the years and i am eternally grateful to them. Francesca Tisot, Ron Ricketts, Owen Salmon, Lorette Simpson, Tyrese, Livingston Brown.

But my niche is growing.

What is the greatest joy of writing for you?

Reading it over and wondering if i wrote all of that. There is something about when you right, it transcends you to a different place. And when you come out of that "place" you wonder if that person was you or somebody else?

What do your fans mean to you?

Well i love my readers. I have blog that for a small niche like Jamaican Literature i get a couple thousand visitors per month. So i am grateful to the people who keep coming back. The first book i sold, i was happy because a complete stranger wanted to take time out of their schedule to hear what i have to say, to become assimilated in the runnings of my waton imagination.
What are you working on next?

Historical Romance and The Barn Raiders

When you're not writing, how do you spend your time?

I like to party. I live in Jamaica so i love the beach, the music, the vibe and the rum.

Writing tips from Kurt Vonnegut

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
   
3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
4. Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action.
5. Start as close to the end as possible.
6. Be a Sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them-in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.