The Dating Factor

What makes dating complicated is that different people have different values. While you might think an education makes you valuable, a man who is seeking a trophy wife, as in his partner has to be as gratifying as his house or his car then having an education would not factor as important to him. A man looking for a trophy wife would be more interested in appearances than personality. 

Just as how a lot of women would never date a man whom she despises regardless of how much money he has because him money is not really an important variable especially if she is getting her own. When people like you, hooking up is very easy, comes naturally but if you have to be jumping through hoops to get someone's attention then the feelings may not be mutual. 

You can over analyse sometimes but when a dating situation frustrates you, causing you sleepless nights you are definitively chasing someone who is running away from you. A relationship this stressful in its formative stage is bound to be toxic when it matures. They say good things don't come easy but some things are better off leaving alone. 

Online Dating is another factor. Someone who is not cognizant of your physical appearance will be reluctant to text or communicate since he hopes not to build up hopes on someone he might not like. Another consideration goes out to love interest who are already in a committed relationship. Cheating is a serious business and this person probably does not cheat unless they find someone worthy and maybe just maybe you are not worthy enough. 

Http://jamaicadatedoctor.com/

Ten Things Jamaican women Wish Jamaican Men Knew

Ten Things Jamaican Women wish Jamaican Men Knew 

 When i collated the article "Ten Things Jamaican Men wish Jamaican women knew about Relationships", It was meant to be a satire piece.Most people missed the sarcasm because they were so upset with the suggestions made by these Jamaican men who i will say represent the average Jamaican male. They missed the disclaimer about not all Jamaican men share these views. Let us put this one in bold. 

These are the opinions of some Jamaican women and does not reflect the ideologies of all Jamaican women. They are not facts, the article is not meant to conquer or convert but to inspire discussion so we can come at truth. In doing so we will get the facts out. 

 1. Jamaican women know that when a man says he wants an independent woman, he does not really mean he wants a woman who can complement his financial position. Some women are of the opinion that these men really want a woman to supplement their lives economically. "Them want smady fe mind them". Additionally a Jamaican man will take the "independent woman" money and "mine" some woman who cannot help him. He will take your car and go out with women who cannot buy gas put in it. Jamaican women say that they are wising up to this "con" and are only independent for their own subsistence. They have no intention of "minding" any big man. 

 2. Women like Oral sex, Women know you like it too. You just do not want your friends to know you like it or do it but the women say that is okay, they will keep the secret for you. 

3. When a Jamaican woman says she wants to go on a date. She means she would like to at least go to a social setting where you can have a few drinks and talk, get to know each other. A date is not in your bedroom demanding sex. These men nowadays do not want to date anymore, when they call and ask for you to meet with them, they would like to know straight off the bat if "you ago run some". Some will find some way to postpone the date if they do not hear what they want to.Some women flat out lie and tell them yes. Women say they would like to go on date therefore when a man is 'looking' a woman, please prepare for at least one date. 

4. In the dating phase when a woman text, call or Whatsapp you, it is because she likes you. A woman will pursue a man she likes and if he is interested then he is expected to mirror her interest to establish some form of consistency. It does not means she is desperate or she is being clingy. 'She just like you'. 

5. When a woman is willing to spend her hard earn money on you, it is not because she is a fool. It is because she loves you and wants you to be happy. If she can afford to she will buy her man anything to make his life convenient so that he can be at his best. There is no greater joy that when the one you love is happy and stress free. When a person is happy, they have more fulfilling relationships. Women in Jamaica and within the diaspora complain that if you "assist" some Jamaican men "they take you for a fool". It is ironic that men do not see themselves as "fools" when they spending thousands of dollar on some chick who sleeps with them every other month. 

6. Most women have never had an orgasm. Most men do not have a clue about fulfilling sex. A lot of women stick around because they love you or the idea of you not because of how good you are in the bedroom. Most men do not even cuddle, "Slam, Bam, Thank You Madam" The caveman tactics in bed does not always work and men insist that women find creative ways to maximize pleasure and yet they come as they are, thinking that great sex only requires an erect penis. The gist is that a woman can still feel sexually satisfied without an orgasm.  Too many men coming into the bedroom with sexual expectations and not bringing any prowess to the bed. Dance hall music convinced our men that their pleasure was more important than female satisfaction. These men will gladly say a 'vagina" was not good when in truth they just lay down on them back expecting great sex. 

7. "Old Fire stick easy fe Ketch" Hmmmmm. In some instances that might be not be entirely accurate. Some men feel that because you had sex with them one time then they can always get it from you whenever they like. Women are saying that when they throw water on the fire stick, no amount a gasoline can make it light back. Some men think that because a woman has a child with him he is still entitled to sex, women are standing their ground. If she broke up with you, she breaks all ties with you.

8. Do not see a woman on the road and harass her. If she is interested she will let you know. A grown man knows when a woman likes him from when she does not. Do not think you can convince her to like you by harassing her with "Pssssst", insulting her or manhandling her in public. She will hate you with a passion and you ruin any chances you might ever have with her.

9. Men will insist that a woman keeps up her physical appearance and yet he will gain weight, grow his hair and facial hair without any complains from his partner.  Women are saying men should try to keep in shape and maintain physique. Women do not like the beer belly but a woman loves differently from man. She will stay with him if he has eighty percent of what she needs and in (a Jamaican man case, if he has fifty percent of what she needs in a relationship), some women settle for far less. Men on the other hand want perfection well women are saying they want men with an impeccable body including a good size penis, good job, money and the whole works. 

10.We are in a relationship with you and not your friends or your family members. It is full time men learn how to tell their mothers, sisters and female cousins to respect their partners even if they do not like them. Friends who are still bachelors must learn to respect their males friends who are in a relationship. Please tell your friends do not show up at late hours of the night asking you to go clubbing when they know that you are now a family man. A man has to compromise in a relationship just as he expects a female to make sacrifices. A lot of men will insist that an in-law that they do not like does not come around his house and yet his family visit when they feel like and disrespect their women to their faces. A man will demand that his wife does not maintain friendship with women of questionable character and yet he keeps his promiscuous male friends and goes out with them on a regular basis. Women are saying cut the double standard. 

 Name some other points you think Jamaican men should know about women and relationships!

Quote :“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie"

 

Quit bashing Jamaican Men!

" To Find Fault is Easy, To do better is difficult"

 When i collated the article "Ten Things Jamaican Men wish Jamaican women knew about Relationships", It was meant to be a satire piece.Most people missed the sarcasm because they were so upset with the suggestions made by these Jamaican men who i will say represent the average Jamaican male. They missed the disclaimer about not all Jamaican men share these views. Let us put this one in bold. 

Link to the article Click Here http://jablogz.com/2014/08/ten-things-jamaican-men-wish-women-knew/

What I wrote was someone else's opinions, They are not facts, the article is not meant to conquer or convert but to inspire discussion so we can come at truth. In doing so we will get the facts out. 

" This is what we Jamaican men have to deal with quote. "  One commentator wrote! 

He missed the point entirely. He should have said why would a Jamaican woman write something like this and if this is not really true, it explains the expectation most women have of men.

He thinks I said bad things about Jamaican men then he should ask the average woman on the streets and he will no doubt get more colourful responses. 

" man a dog"

"Man a crasses"

" a bay worthless man deh a Jamaica"

" me done with man me jus take weh me can get and leave" 

" them man nowadays no want nobody"

 I understand he might be very upset about what these men said but he should take into consideration that these men were socialized in a different context from his, this is sadly how the average man on the street thinks. The man on the street socialized within a working class setting, influence by Dancehall culture, unexposed to esteemed values, his convictions unfiltered by lack of education thinks like this, not all men but a staggering majority. 

This may account for the numerous single parent homes with mothers at the helm and unwanted pregnancies among young women. He should not be angry at me. He should be upset with his brothers who embrace these ideologies but as always people will attack the messenger and not the message. It is so much easier to make it personal. The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off! 

But it explains a lot with regards to how even our politicians reason in parliament, they attack each other, dismiss suggestions that disagrees with their ideologies and we end up back at the same place where we started. People are more concerned about being "right" than admitting the truth.

Women are pissed that men would think like that, well some of these women should explain why they still single and why they raising their kids alone? Your man is not the rule, he is the exception to the rule. 

Sociologist and commentators have not adequately stressed how the social issues we face such as crime and poverty are connected to the family structures that we have. Our women get into relationships with these same type of men who gets them pregnant and leave them. These are the type of men a woman is force to leave with her children because he refuses to put down his philandering ways and she ends up alone with children she might not be able to support. These are the kind of men who impregnate girls and want sex without responsibility. I hope you get the picture that i am painting here. It does not mean all men are like this...But you get the point.

I am upset to. I am upset that there are women out there who tolerate this behavior and give men the impression that it is normative and when I meet them and insist on higher standards, I am crossed off as bitter, crazy or uptight. I am upset that women have lowered our standards so much that men think anything goes or anything counts. I don't entirely blame men because I see girls falling into the same trap their mothers did. Women are apart of this process of change. Women are the agents of social change. If we would insist on higher standards then we might get somewhere.  

There is an unswerving, constant philosophy among our women that our men are of no good. Some might say this notion is farfetch but not because it does not reflect your reality it does not mean it is not truth.  Not because someone has a differing opinion from yours, does it mean theirs is erroneous or inaccurate. 

The majority  of the social maladies that we are experiencing as a people stems from a breakdown in family life and families are created from relationships. Maybe! Just maybe if we fixed our relationships, we could fix Jamaica. Let the chips fall where they may. 

Link to the Article here: http://jablogz.com/2014/08/ten-things-jamaican-men-wish-women-knew/

Jamaican Women: Are you ready to date?

 If a man is not engaged, married, or in a long time serious relationship, his eggs are in other baskets, ensuring that if you misbehave, we can freely move on to the next bitch basket, without heartbreak or depression. For example, when you break up with your “exclusive, but not official” boo of six months; you cry and stress to the point of being physically sick because you were 100% invested in that man who suckered you into a half-ass relationship. That same man you’re broken up about will be a sad, but he will be fine in a week or two. It’s not because that man is cold-hearted, it’s because he didn’t invest 100% in your stock. He was 40% into you, 20% into his ex who he was still fucking, 15% into the new crush he’s been trying to pull off Instagram, and he kept the last 25% reserved in case he meets a new chick off Tinder. Relationships end every day, and men can’t afford to be left emotionally bankrupt over a girl he was only half-sure about in the first place.

Borrowed from Blackgirlsareeasy.com

So your entire childhood was shaped by a shadow background of lower conscious need to find the perfect man. It probably started when you were somersaulting over the tyres on the ground at the kindergarten school and saw some light skin curly hair kid with a snotty nose that appeared super appealing to your eyes. You didn't really understand the concept of sex but for some reason you knew you wanted to be exclusive with this person. Fast forward twenty years later, you are still attracted to curly hair men in Range Rovers with an impressive social clout but they are as unattainable as diamonds. 

Having a vagina, good skin and great hair (even if you bought it) does not guarantee that some guy will commit to you. It might sound harsh but it is the reality of the situation. Men are not what we think they are, they are not as woosy as romantic novels and cinemas portray them. 

So before you continue to throw your ass around at every man who slows his mechanical chariot beside you on the sidewalk,you need to first do a self evaluation, you need to assess whether or not you are ready for dating. Do you think that you have what it takes to get a commitment from an alpha male? 

The truth about wealthy men, popular men and dudes with swag is that they won't settle for a girl with just pussy, sounds harsh but that is the reality of the situation. 

Consider this that every year, a new set of girls leave high school with flat bellies, elastic vaginal muscles than don't need Kegel exercises and the zeal of youth that most men find alluring. Imagine you having to compete with them, youth reduces as you age and you like them at thirty have nothing to offer a man but your vagina? How will a man love you when he can get what you have to offer a dime a dozen from a litany of young women parading, near naked on the road every afternoon. 

Think about it! There is absolutely nothing distinct about you that will warrant this guy in the Range Rover's attention. It would be easier he dates a young girl without the attendant children and financial demands. You know there is a reason why men ask you how many babies you have when they meet you. They want to know how much you are worth and how much he might have to invest in a relationship with you. If he is a guy who shirks responsibility then he will in and out the door before you can say " I have two kids". 

Men judge you by how many children you have because they want to measure your past lifestyle. Two children and two different fathers spells you kinda reckless with your sexuality if they are only a year a part. Kids are not the only factor that men judge you by. Many men consider your hairstyle. 

How can you expect to attract a in a BMW if you have in a hairpiece that has three neon colours. He is gonna think: 1) you working at a circus or 2) you a dancehall chick. Nothing is wrong with a dancehall chick or a barmaid but how many barmaids do you know who get corporate executives and surgeons to marry them. It clearly doesn't work like that. If being skinny with Brazilian hair was all a woman needed to snag a rich man then we would not have the pervasive, unswerving ideology among Jamaican women that good men are hard to find. It's not that good men are not hard to find granted our young men are becoming an endangered species but that most women got it all wrong when it comes to attracting a man. 

Our mothers taught us a few tricks from Ratchetpedia but we should be smart enough to learn from our mothers mistake knowing that she only managed to get men to stick around until they impregnated her and now she's spending the rest of her life alone. So the average Jamaican girl learns from a mother who barely knows the basic of the playbook on how to get a rich guy to exclusively commit.  We spend our lives believing the slut appeal can get a man to love us so we wear see through clothes, batty rider shorts and the most revealing clothing in our quest to ensnare men. 

Back to this hairstyle business. Men are not suppose to be judge mental but they are because in order for a man to like you enough to pursue a relationship with you, you have to get him to look at you first and foremost. Nikki Z and Miss Kitty can wear a shaved head with zig zags cut into it and redhair and still get a surgeon shelling out big bucks for a dinner with them but the average girl on the street is seen as either a GoGo, prostitute or barmaid. It is unfair but that is the reality. There is a difference between what is and what aught to be....

The man in the BMW with a degree thinks differently from the scammer dude in a Honda. Scammer dude might wife a girl with red and yellow streaks in her hair because his small minded ess and lack of refine values precludes him from changing his basic appreciation of women. A guy with a masters degree would never bring a multicolored hair girl to his business conference but he might take her out to some seedy go go club or KFC, he knows his friends will look at him differently and not only that but his exes and immediate family might wonder if he has gone mad. 

He might have no problem sharing his dick with you, it does not mean you will get to know his family and his friends. Not that girls who look like ratchets don't get millionaires to marry them, but those girls are the exception to the rule and not the rule. If you live for the five percent who accomplished an ideal man looking like spike lee, then you are in for some serious free falls... I mean literally. Any girl can get any guy to fuck her at the most basic level. 

How many men will you have to go through until you find Mr. Ideal is clearly up to you. In this dating frontier you gotta know who to cut lose and whom to ditch without a second thought. Have you ever thought about how easy it is for a guy to be all over you in one day and completely out of touch the next, it is because men make up their minds faster than women do. A woman has to learn to decide which men are worth risking it with, which other men are not to see where she pee. This does not guarantee you from making bad decisions and sleeping with men who are more tight on their games and can trick you into bed. But with each candidate you learn from them and you move on without resentment, opening yourself to knew experience, never forgetting the past and holding steadfastly to a hopeful relational future. 

The Jamaican Woman's Fairy Tale Complex

Every girl has an ideal man, a checklist of physical features, personality attributes and social elements that we would like to have in a husband. Truth is life is never like those Cinderella books, good girls don't always win out like they do in Mills and Boons, nor does plain Janes marry millionaires like in the Harlequins Romance Series. Life is different from our fantasies, good girls are side chicks, most wealthy men are jerks who view commitment as an option, something they can delay until they lose their virility. 

Remember our high school perfect husband discussions and how wanted this and that in a man or our husband should look like him, have this and that. Many of us smart women assumed that an education would get us some rich surgeon until we discovered that it took more than a degree to snag a well off man. 

We wake up to the reality but some of us are still holding on to wistful romantic notions that some perfect man is going to show up on our lives and whisk us off into the sunset in his mechanical chariot. Nothing is wrong with dreaming, a girl gotta have hope. What if you end up spending your life, wishing for something that might never happen? 

Are you in a position to meet the men that you want? You can't expect to meet surgeons and corporate executives at a street dance. You would have to attend conferences and social gatherings that these kind of men converge on. Nor can you expect a man who is a CEO, running his business, to give you all his money, funding your lifestyle when he can get someone else to complement his. 

You cannot want a man with abs and muscles yet your body is completely out of shape. Don't

You think someone who takes as much pride in his appearance won't notice that of his partner. Appearance can be improved but in order to get certain men to consider you, you would first have to get him to look at you. 

No legalisation of Abortion in Jamaica

This has always been my opinion on this issue and it is I fear that women will use a legal abortion status as a contraceptive. So people will just get pregnant and throw babies away at whim. I mean Jamaican clinics have a free contraceptive programme why can't our women use it? Then we have the plan Bs and postinors yet we are still having unwanted pregnancies. Abortion legalisation will only increase this lack of accountability and recklessness among our young people. Sex comes with consequences. I believe our current " unwanted children situation can only be remedied by education and reform thinking among our people and not by more contraceptives and counterceptives methods.

Imagine you have sex with somebody and it doesn't work out but you get pregnant and you decide to have an abortion. Sex comes with responsibility like any other behavior in life, we should strive to make good choices and wise decisions. 

I can't understand some women because I would never have sex with somebody I don't know that well or have an assurance of a permanent relationship with, without a condom. But life is not perfect and we make mistakes so take the morning after pill. Live your life with accountability. 

What if our parents chose to get an abortion, then where would we have been, you are not ready to bring a child into this world then have protected sex or take a contraceptive, it is that easy. There is no bandaid method to put over our recklessness. 

Women are having abortions albeit it is illegal, and we have heard the term " dash way too much belly"  many a times to know that abortion won't prevent a woman from making the same mistakes over and over again. 

A lot of our men use abortion like a fail safe method, so the girl claims she is pregnant and he offers her money for an abortion because he is not ready for a child, has too many already or sincerely does not want a permanent relationship with her. He can always abort pregnancies therefore he sleeps with as many women as he feels entitled to and then they abort pregnancies. How msny young men I hear saying " a nuff belly gyal dash weh fe me eenuh". Imagine what would happen if abortion was legalized... 

 

You should not be having sex with anyone you wouldn't want to have a child with period... 

Know your Jamaican Man Patterns

When it comes to dating a Jamaican man, he can say anything to you and you might believe, you are even entitled to believe his actions but you must never doubt a man with a glaring pattern. Am not saying that you should pull out your Nancy Drew glasses and start an investigation on your new beaus dating history. People do change but a man with twelve kids, seven baby mothers, a white wife in Pennsylvania and a side chick that owns the bar in the town is not a man you want to invest your time muchless vagina with. 

Another pattern you cannot turn your eyes away from is the man who is obviously in transition. The man who is separated from his wife, living with his baby mother and two year old son yet asking for your number is a guy who is a serial cheater and you are his next statistic. He is not over his wife since that baby is barely two and he lives with a chick that he will no doubt cheat on with you, he's basically feeding you the same bull crap he fed them. 

Patterns never lie. The guy who dates a slew of women who loom a certain way them suddenly decides he wants a change in his type of woman. He is either tired of the monotony of women he's been with or you have something he wants that none of his type can give him. A man with a track record of dating supermodel chicks don't just stir up an appetite for a plus size darling and her thirty inch waist. The plus size chica has something he wants wherein he is willing to overlook his tastes for, it might not be a bad thing but have to be alert. You cannot let your guard down. 

There's a trend among certain men especially those financially well off who dumped their thirty year old wife or baby mother that they have been with since she was eighteen for a college freshman with a round buttocks who is a schoolmate of his eldest son from his first relationship. This trend should tell a smart chick that this guy only dates young women and if you have no intentions of getting old then you can hop onto his lap. Whatsoever he did to them he will do it to you too even if it means he has one foot in his grave. 

Am not saying be specific about a dude because people do change along the way but at a certain age it takes a lot to break relational habits. Some of these behavioral traits are so entrenched that the chances of this man changing in this lifetime would be incredulous. Know your patterns, be an ace before you break a heart. 

Jamaica Date Doctor Volume ii

When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I wrote the Jamaica Date Doctor Series Volume One. I dated men for their impressions and not for who they really were. I had my head stuck in a harlequin husband chase. I wanted anyone who looked like my ideal fantasy. 

I dated men for what they represent, I was attracted to the idea of them and irrespective of the way they made me feel, the various red flags they exhibit, I would entertain them until the pretense had run its course. 

When a woman grows up she thinks differently, she realizes that it's more important to date someone that makes you feel loved and worthy, than to waste your time with a person just for social gratification. When we are young we are mostly interested in how we will look in the eyes of others when we choose a partner. 

We choose men the very same way we choose our clothing as teenagers. Best boyfriend for the most enhanced social experience. 

Real relationships are not as easy as they appear in books or in movies. They take work. Ninety percent of men already know if they will take you on as a lifelong partner within the first five minutes of speaking with you. 

Dating is a game and the slickest person wins. Men know we want a perfect partner and some of us wants money. So they will do anything including pretending to be the perfect man or to be rich to get into our panties. 

Men don't care if you hate him after he has fucked you and ducked you because he was never working for you to like him. He does not care about your feelings because he did not care in the first place to begin with. It is no use trying to make a man love you who decided from

The first give minutes that he was going to " take a one slap outta you" and move on. 

The writings are on the wall. Men have not mastered the art of emotional pretense, therefore if it looks like the man is not that into you, he probably isn't. Men who are up to no good always give off hints in their behavior or regards, it's up to smart girls to pick up on them and know when to out their feet to the sand and run. 

They go fooling yourself by having sex with him in hopes that he will like your good coochie and stick around. A man will take whatever you have to give and still diss you on a heartbeat. Once a woman gives up the sex, she has nothing bargain with, she is down several cards, she can't deal no hand, she has to take whatever she is dealt and hope for the best. 

Why Black Men call their Women Bitches?

Some thoughts am having now at a party seeing women dancing and gyrating about how them supp'n good but these women can't even keep a man. I realise that these women are apart of the problem because they keep bringing babies into the world that they can't support financially, teach them wrong values and then let them out on the rest of the world. 

There maybe a reason why Black men call their women "bitch". Most black women have not achieved much than the procreational and sexual role that is inherent in their organismal capabilities. 

In other terms most black women only know how to "Phuq" or "breed". And they make "catching men" a lifetime career. I often conclude that if black women would invest half the energy, money and time the put into gratification so that they can get a man to impregnate them and leave them with one more fatherless child then we might have less single parent families in our nation. 

Our black women are the agents of social change and they don't even know it. They do not comprehend that if they focused on their education and economical upliftment that they could immensely transform the economic tides of our society. 

What if our women would insist that men marry them before they copulate what if our women  sought financial independence so they would not have to rely on sexual prowess and sleeping withe men for money. What if they had mothers who would instill values in them that would preclude them from continuing the cycle of poverty? After all ratchets often beget ratchets. Most women will fall into the traps that ensnared their mothers.

Some might take this as an attack on black women but it is quite obvious that most men who lead a life of deviance and devauchery are often from a home with a single mother who has too many children she can't take care of.  She maybe a high school drop or teenage mother. She has been through a train of men who leave her with babies she can't support financially. 

It does not matter what is going on for a black girl, if she understands her cultural dynamics then she knows that  by time she has her first child that men collectively think that single mothers are spoiled goods. I mean some guy impregnated you and left you so what is wrong if I dump you too? 

Having sexual appeal is a huge factor as a female and it is encouraged. I mean being a sultry female has as much impact as having a degree. No woman has ever been viewed highly by society due to her male luring or sexual skills because in truth such dexterity is not a rarity. 

Maybe they call them "hoes" for hole. Are they just orifices for punters. Why all the women jumping up in the dance say them simthing good but them still can't hold a man. Kmt. 

Jamaican In laws mimic spousal treatments

You have to be careful what you allow your Jamaican family members to witness when it comes to how you relate to your partner, how you handle conflicts and your reactions to affronts perpetrated by the one you love becomes the yardstick for how their families will treat you. You may not know this but your family will invariably treat your  partner the very way, you treat him or her. 

It simple means that if you are in a relationship with someone, you have to be cognizant of how you respond to him or her in certAin situations. 

Female partners do not particularly have it easy as women in laws often see them as competition albeit they are involved with a family member. They still attribute the same rivalry ISSUES that is typical among women when it comes to attraction, relationship and competition for male attention. The same rules apply. 

If you are very attractive, your family in laws will think that their men might find you attractive so they will so everything in their power to tear down your social image so that they can feel better within themselves and cast a bad light on your character. 

You do not have a choice in who you get as an in law. These people came along with your partner. Sometimes you are force to wonder if he/she really spawned from them. Other times you see aspects of their personalities coming out in his/hers disposition and you realize that their behavior is probably hereditary and may well be programmed from the ghost in their genes. 

In other situations, many people have abandoned relationships due to inability to cope with mingling in laws and the constant put downs and disrespected meted out to the partner. The partner often suffers and lose their love one because their family is more concerned about their own personal satisfaction than the overall happiness of their kin. Some people ignore their in laws for the greater part of their lives, understanding that they are a necessary nuisance that they will have to entertain every once in a while.  

Showing your new man your vulnerable side

One of the true testaments to whether or not a man will stick with you is how he responds to your unveiling of your most vulnerable side. 

How does he react to your professed insecurities, fears and shortcomings is a sure sign of where your relationship is headed. 

A guy who blatantly states that your reservations about this relationship future are misguided because he cares for you and wants a future with you is worth engaging than the man who gets angry, vague or disappears when you question whether or not his intentions towards you are honorable. 

Does he try to dispel your fears or does she shrug it off as nothing. 

Men won't always be honest because they want to have sex. It is up to a woman to be able to read between the lines, you must see the trees for the forest. If it acts like a duck then maybe it's a duck. 

You have to be able to see that something is wrong and walk away. Your well being is what is important and you cannot be expected to contribute 80/20 in a relationship that involves two people. You also ca never be with someone that you have to play tough with, who will laugh at your fears or discredit your insecurities. 

When you really love someone even his irritating qualities have an attractive element to it. If someone can see beyond your fallibles then that person is worth taking the risk of investing with. 

Jamaicans stop thinking individually and more nationally.

I have spoken several times about how much due to my past endorsement during my adolescent years of the Jamaica Labour Party. I was subjected to calumnious rhetoric and slews of profanity whenever I went to the corner shop to buy anything. Worst if I complained about the high prices of the groceries.

This staunch PNP supporter in his early seventies would start on the (dutty Laborites) as soon as I grace his shop front. I know that this diatribe was geared at me. Why was I subjected to this verbal abuse was completely beyond me?  I blogged about it several times on the Triond.com platform.

Fast forward, PNP ,a party that I help put in Government because I was dissatisfied with the performance of the labourites and in particular, the Tivoli Incursion , now disappointing most young people yet these older folks not quarreling about the state of affairs when I go to their shops.

Instead I hear Ms Enid claim that "it don't matter who Inna government things nah get better, Jamaica done mash up long time";$haking her head vehemently ' she hands me a pound of flour now $70 a pound.
In my big dunce head this lady's statement translates that she would rather have a hard time living under a PNP regime than the dutty labourites.

Despite the logic that I administered trying to explain to them that JLP did not take flower from "six pence and trupance" to fifty dollars a pound. I tried to elucidate that our inflation rate was steadily rising over the last 18 years of PNP administration. They would not listen or see my illustrations of facts, they were too concern in Insulting my generation who are more interested in progress than party loyalty to Manley's dead legacy.

I am not gonna trash older Jamaicans because God Knows I have not seen or experience some of things they have. I cannot truly say I understand where they are coming from because they remember Jamaica from a time that I know nothing about. I also know that life can change who you are. I see it everyday. In my twenty five years, every year brings new insights and old ideologies are shaken off. I often imagine what my perspectives will be if I
Iive to see seventy and the rate Jamaica is going. I doubt I will.

What I do not like is older people thinking that they can dictate the future of a society that for the majority has moved beyond the grasp of their comprehension. My generation do not think moving from pit latrine to inside bathroom is an upgrade. We have cable TV and know that we want nice bathroom, with water coming out of the wash bowl, jacuzzi and the whole works.

We live in a different world so we have different needs brought on by this media socialization. We don't want our kids to sleep together in a one room, we want them to have their own rooms. We have visions of living our lives to the best of our potentials and the internet has taught us that opportunities are abound in the world.

We need a government that will make that happen. A government that is thinking twenty first century. We respect the foundations that our elders and ancestors have cemented but we believe that it is now time to move on to greater heights.

"One Love: Jamaican Blogger Tag"

I was going through the Jamaican community of Bloggers and discovered this on many of the Blog Sites `

THE RULES FOR THIS TAG:

-Title your post “One Love: Jamaican Blogger Tag”
-Link back to the blogger who tagged you ( you may add a brief definition of what a tag is if you for the benefit of your readers)
-Copy and paste the rules at the beginning of your tag.
-Copy and paste the questions as well so readers know what’s going on.
-Answer the questions (No duh!)
-Tag seven other (untagged) Jamaican bloggers to continue the trend. Kinda forces you to make friends, no?

The questions are as follows:

1.Why did you give your blog its name?

Haha actually I got the name from a Guy i used to date . Kudos to Doctor Rohan Mullings for that name (such a smart ass). I wanted to write about how i was feeling at the time, I had fallen rather sickeningly in love with some random guy and writing was a form of therapy for what i was going through and when other women started emailing me about their relationship issues. I decided that I might want to do this not for me but for other women too.


2. Why did you start blogging and why do you blog now?

Because it offered me a platform to say what I wanna without having to censor my writings and also gain audiences for the books I published.Blogging is my life. I started out as an aperture for venting my feelings and it has morphed into a podium where i can pontificate my ideas and perspectives upon my audiences. I think writing has always been apart of me i mean, you do not come second place in Jamaica in CAPE literatures IN ENGLISH FOR NOTHING.

3. Do you think being Jamaican influences your blogging style?

Yes it does. I mean I have lived in Jamaica, all my life and its culture intrigues me at times and some other times, I wanna run away and not come back here at some of the antiquated beliefs that so many Jamaicans have. It is a unique kind of place with a complex set of people bonded by similar historical and social elements.

4. What do you think about the increase in Bloggers in Jamaica?

It is a good look, it means that people are thinking and writing and I am glad that so many of us who do not have a platform like a local newspaper where we can share our ideologies are afforded opportunities to express themselves. I have been reading other blogs by Jamaicans and I am impressed by what I have encountered and some of the stories that are out there.

5. What is your favourite thing about being Jamaican?

I like the creativity of our people and if most of us were afforded the opportunity to express our myriad of talents then that would be a move forward towards the progression of our society. Most Jamaicans are blunt and I think it is good that my Jamaican parents don't grow cowards as I observed in some other cultures. I mean children are taught from your young that this world is a cruel, evil place. Parents do not really sugar coat reality in Jamaica. What you see is what you get.


6. Ackee and saltfish or “ (mackerel) run down”?

Definitely a ackee and salt thing. me love it with the white rice and everything else. I love tin mackerel if a that you a ask and the mackerel with the ackee and some pumpkin rice. yeah a me that.

7.Stew peas or stew chicken?

Haha i love stew but i love stew chicken, with a little pepper and some ketchup with a little sugar in the gravy...old time style yuh know.

8. Tastee Patties, Juici Beef Patties or Mother’s?

JUici beef my thing deh especially the cheese patty. lick lick lick

9. Pantucky or KFC?

DWL. This is a hard one, love my jerk chicken and yes the occasional Kingston fowl coop. but Jerk chicken with roast breadfruit or a piece a bread is definitely more finger lickin than kfc because i hate all that fry food in one sitting but love kfc still.



10. What do you hope to be the future of blogging in Jamaica?

With the advent of the Jamaicablogawards i think that blogging has a great future in Jamaica, moreso as i said before that this coming generation is committed to social media and will be turning to the internet for information on their culture either or recreation or scholastic studies. We the blogosphere are here to fill that gap by providing content that is credulous, witty, educational and engaging for this new computer/reader generation that is coming up.

Tag:
Battymatilda
Corve Dacosta
Perceptual Post
EBFellowship is on twitter @place2belong
Javed Jaghai is on twitter @Chatimout
Jaevion Nelsons
MooreMayhem - Carla Moore
- See more at: http://dmarcuswilliams.blogspot.com/

My Summer: What i am writing on her Personality?

"AS LONG MY DAUGHTER IS HAPPY ME NO CARE BOUT NOTHING"

Our children do nor become what we want them to become but who we are.

My daughter is quite precocious for her age. She has a very short fuse and like most two year olds, she is very defiant. I look at her and wonder what kind of person will she be as an adult. I worry if I will live to see her become an adult or if someone will take her away from me after all the time and resources I put into her development.

I am anxious of how I can manipulate her personality into becoming a human being whose life is valued by many. Not everyone will like her but she should not genuinely loathed by a wide range of individuals because her life actions have been to their detriment.

I prefer to be hated for standing up for what is right because when you fail to decry the injustices happening to others, you are continuing injustice for everyone.

I rather be despised because the standard of my life makes others feel inferior. I concurrently illustrate what one could become if only we would choose to seek enlightment whilst abandoning folly and ignorance.

I do not expect my child to be a sane when after all, I have my own issues and core values that are fraught with contradictions, may stakes and misdemeanors.

I have wished death upon people who have offended or harmed the people I love. It is only human for me to seek to want to preserve my life and protect those that I hold dearly to my heart.
But natures complex workings gives me confidence that life will always balance itself out. Gravity ensures that what goes up always comes back down.

My greatest factor would be teaching my daughter about this omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent god who allow diabolical people to prosper and the good, weak and the poor to be trampled by ignorant narcissists.

I will have to explain evil and good to her. Why some children are more inclined to want to hurt her than others. How does she deal with people who are more predispose to violence

Parenting is not an easy job. But i will try my endeavour best not to create a menace to this society.

How women allow emotionally unavailable men(narcissist) to destroy them

How women sometimes allow a narcissist to destroy them?




I can just imagine that you probably started reading this issue with your tongue sharpened to objurgate me for making such a statement. But let me share a personal experience with you before I delved into the central focus of my article.
There was a time when I was in a verbally abusive relationship with a narcissistic man who found great pleasure in ranting obscenities and profane invectives at me effusively. He would launch a tirade at me completely unprovoked. His bout of anger made me very apprehensive about calling his phone or even talking to him because of his labile rampages and tantrums. It was as if he had problems and he was using me as a valve to vent his frustrations. A psychologist friend of mine was very amused when he learned that we were only seeing each other for a week and he was behaving or rather our relationship sounded like we were together for years. It did not stop there. The more I got close to him and demonstrated my feelings for him. The more obnoxious he became.




I remembered his first attack. It was our second time conversing on the phone. I found his petulant response to my opinion of his professed single status as unbelievable and he had excoriated and shut me down for insinuating that I was a liar. Everything about the man was incredible. He was almost too good to be true and I fell in love with him, with most men I could decipher what their intentions were towards me but my ex narcissist was unreadable.



The signs were very clear I just kept overlooking and falling for his kind words, saccharine tone and the romantic text messages he sent. I saw his obnoxious behavior as a desperate attempt by him to act humble. I posit the first subtle obnoxious statement he made was just an overreaction to my questions or he had a bad day. I did not think that it was the real side of the man, slowly but surely emerging. I imagined his possessive attitude and portrayed insecurities as profession of his softer side. It felt good that a man of his caliber could be jealous of a woman he barely knew. I presupposed his jealous responses to my outings and dates with friends were proof that he was smitten, oh how naïve and paltry my masculine assessment skills were.


I thought he had feelings for me. I believe that he was truly lovesick when he was hasting to consummate our relationship even though I wanted to wait based on the fact that I thought our relationship was moving too fast and I wanted to get to know him more. But I gave in under the misconception that he wanted intimacy to reassure his place in my life and to cement his right to ask me questions about my life, whereabouts and companions. I found the idea intriguing, amused and sometimes frightening. A small voice in my head kept telling me there was something wrong with this handsome, successful man with a bad temper.



His paroxysms got worst and I could not placate him. I tried talking to him in a less confrontational attitude and attempted a docile approach to his advances. It was not sufficient. It was as if he had a wanton desire to insult and depreciate me. He excoriated me gushingly and it seemed the more abusive he was, the more I endeavored to emend my behavior to be the best possible spouse.



I validated his opinions to the point where I began to believe that I was annoying him. I began to embrace his confounded yet fragmented notions of my self worth. I began to think he was unhappy with my appearance or was it my financial status or level of education. I decided to cease from using technical jargons and erudite terms in his presence. I perceived that he saw my intelligence as a threat to his ego as I was considerably more trenchant than he was. I kept modifying my behavior and expressions but it was futile.



My narcissist ended the relationship and I was devastated because I had invested immensely in the relationship. I cried for months and I flung myself into a chasm of depression. I was slowly becoming a Limerant. I spent hours recollecting our moments together and analyzing every detail of our private moments to see if there were areas that could have been improved. I felt as if I had did him wrong in spite of the verbal abuse and insults that I was subjected to by this handsome, successful yet grandiose man.



It was six months later when i got my epiphany when the narcissist began to seek out my companionship again. I quickly realized that I liked him for what he represented and not for who he was. I realized that I was in love with a shell and how good it felt parading him in front of my friends and siblings as my partner. I realized that I liked the idea of the man and not the man himself. I saw in him the characters that I needed to develop and I assume that he saw in me what he is not and will never be. He was arrogant whilst I was unassuming. His self confidence was luminous and he had a commanding air about him that made me want to cower in his presence and do his every bidding. He was my match, the only man that intimidated me. I conceded that if he was perceivably poor and unattractive I would have dumped him at the first sign of trouble.


My point basically is that I am not a self righteous female who is here to accuse you of digging your own grave. I am not here to retraumatised you or lambaste you for remaining in an abusive relationship when all signs say that you should leave. I did not stay with him because he was not hurting; it is not that I did not care about myself. You will discover that ironically women stay in hurting relationships because they do care about themselves. They sometimes become an extension of their partner especially if he is a narcissist with the attendant wealth, power and clout. They do not leave because their image and social experience would be damaged. They do not leave because we live in a society that merits people based on aesthetics and financial standing. People who are considered wealthy and attractive are subjected to far more lenient social judgment and highly enhanced social experiences.

Are Jamaican Men Hypocrites

Are Jamaican Men Hypocrites in relationships?

I sat down on my verandah watching my baby sister play on the ground and wonder what the dating scene would be like for her in more than a decade from now. I pray that Jamaican men would change their hypocritical and double standard principles regarding relationships. Here are five instances of Jamaican male relational double standard and hypocrisy!

1. Have you ever listened to a hardcore sexual gratifying Jamaican song and noted that male deejays enjoy the idea of a woman granting oral sex but treats male conferring of the same said activity with disdain and repulsion? Jamaican men enjoy oral sex but do not want to give it back for fear that it will emasculate them. Even thought this maybe so, many men would prefer woman engaging in the ac but do not want to reciprocate the female.

2. Some Jamaican fathers enjoy having sexual relations with younger girls even the peers of their daughters but do not want to see other older men with their child. Jamaican men will have relations with a seventeen year old but do not want to see his seventeen year old in a relationship.

3. Jamaican men enjoy the idea of a woman on the street wearing revealing clothing but not the woman in his house. In some cases the man may have met the woman wearing revealing clothes on the street but now that she is his woman, she is not allowed to dress like that anymore. Additionally, when he goes out on the street, he is attracted to women in that attire.


4. Jamaican men contend that they want a woman with natural beauty and find the synthetic extensions and make up, superfluous and unattractive. Yet if a woman decides to be natural, she is less likely to attract the attention of a man on the street. I have walked down town with my natural unprocessed hair, unmade face and wearing Christian like clothing and not one male approached me. The next day I did my hair and dolled my face and went down town and it was an entirely different reaction from the men. Why Jamaican men claim that they want natural girl but a woman with natural looks especially a woman of Negro descent will not get any form of masculine attention on the road or in the dancehall.

5. Jamaican men will meet a girl in the dancehall and refused to allow her to go back to the party scene. Yet that is the very scene that he met her on. Just like the guys who pick women up from bars and marry her and then expect her to remain at home and never visit a bar again.

Ten things my father should have told me about Jamaican Men

Ten things a woman’s father should have told her about men.

The role that a father plays in the life of his young daughter is very important.

It is not confined to satisfying the financial needs of his offspring but instilling values and morals into the psyche of his daughter.

This involves encouraging the development of a sense of self and awareness when it comes to relationships.

But how many fathers have sat with their daughters and educate her on the psychology of men, women and relationships. If fathers taught their daughters how to respond to men, pros, cons of men and relationships we would have been better in our relations with men.

We would have known how to decipher the wolves from the sheep.


Here are some things I wished my dad had told me about men

1. Men lie to get what they want. I would have been spared quite a few masculine deceptions if my father had told me that men do not always mean what they say. Men will omit information or lie outrageously to convince a woman to be with them and sleep with them.

2. Men will tell a woman what he knows she wants to hear in order to get her into his bed. Men pretend and fake commitment to get sex. A man will feign emotions and act as your ideal mate to have intercourse with you. When he has gotten his prize then the real man unveils himself.

3. A man will have sex with a woman he has no feelings for and without emotional attachment. There goes my preconceived notion that he must be feeling something for me because we are copulating. Wrong! He is simple going through motions and not emotions.

4. When a man meets a woman he is rarely thinking long term, he is merely thinking about having a good time with her. This good time entails sexual intercourse. That means when a man meets you, he is not thinking marriage and children. He is having the most primal desire which is companionship and coitus.

5. Majority of men do not care about a woman’s social status when he is seeking her out. This is confirmed by numerous wealthy men of high socio-financial caliber who marry and have relations with women who are societally deemed below their status. Therefore my PhD does not guarantee that I will get a husband or that men will fall down at my feet and worship me.

6. Men who are concentrating on your financial status and career want a trophy and not an individual. You may think he married you because you are a wonderful person but only to discover that you are his wife because you have a sixe figure income and a career. Most times women do not find out about these unscrupulous men until they have lost their jobs and status and the man abandons her because she is useless to him. Once the sociopath thinks you are no longer meaningful to him, he will leave you.

7. Number seven ties in with number six. I wish my dad had informed me about the prince charming and the frog.
I prayed my father had told me that not all men that glitter are gold.
My dad should have told me that prince charming can mutate into prince harming.
My dad should have edified me of the narcissist, antisocial, sociopaths and the elaborate neurotics.
My father should have told me about crazy, deranged men posing as ideal partners. Many women wished their dads had told them about men who will not only make their lives miserable but take ways their life.

8. Men do not see relationships the way we do. Men do not have the reactions that we have to gestures such as singing a song, writing poetry etc. if a man goes up on a stage and sings for his woman in front of her friends, her eyes are filled with love, appreciation and adulation. If a woman should sing to a man in front of his friends (unexpectedly), he may react with embarrassment, disbelief and downright disapproval. Instead of running to the stage to kiss you, majority of men will slink away to find a hole to bury himself because of the discomfiture he is feeling from your public declaration.

9. You cannot buy a man’s love. It’s the same as a man professing that he will spend money on us to engender a relationship. Love cannot be bought. Do not think that you can buy love. You can buy faux companionship and an artifice of a relationship. Genuine love and deep bonds cannot be fostered by pecuniary influences. True and real relationships based on love will last even during poverty. A relationship based on money will disintegrate if indigence sets in.

10. You cannot force a man to love you. My father and male relatives may love me unconditionally without coercion or question. When it comes to strangers, it is entirely different scenario. Love is fostered by continual moments of interaction between two individuals who realize that they value each other’s company, to want to live together forever (or for a period of time). You cannot force someone to want to be with you. In most cases if you force love, you push that person further away from you.

AND THEN...

hmmmm...
Remember there are exceptions...

Why Jamaican Men Lie

Why Jamaican men lie
Have you ever wondered why men lie? Why males feel the need to constantly misrepresent reality? Men lie outrageously (often to our amusement and annoyance) about simple things that we women would not care about if they told the truth. There are sometimes when we want them to lie about their feeling such as when they are breaking up with us. But in many situations we would rather hear the truth from them than from someone else. No one enjoys being mislead or taken for a fool. There is not one woman alive who loves a man who constantly torts the reality of situations.

Ten reasons why men lie:
1. They cannot afford to tell the truth because they are ashamed of the reality of their situation. But if a man lies about his situation, it does not change the reality of the situation. The woman will eventually find out he is a tall taler.

2. They are indifferent to your feelings and could not care less if you discover they were lying. These are the connoisseur of mendacity. Such atrocious characters should be avoided at all cost.

3. They have done it numerous times and gotten away with it. They know you will take them back because you are very forgiving. Every male knows what his irritating quality is and he is going to find a woman that he knows will tolerate his lies if he is a liar.

4. Some men can’t help but lie. It is as if it is within their genetic makeup. They tell a lie as easily as you and I breathe without hesitation or compunctions. When it is discovered that they have been lying. Most will shrug off the situation and carry on as if nothing happened. Those are what my mother calls spawn of Satan.


5. Some claim that they lie because they do not want to hurt the females feeling. The man may lie because he is afraid the truth will hurt you and damage the relationship. That is what they call a white lie because it does more good than harm. Until you find out of course!

6. Some men lie to avoid responsibilities. This is the man who lies about being the father of your child or the one who lies about why he did not call you last night. He does not want to be accountable for his actions.


7. Jamaican men underestimate women’s abilities and assume that you will never find out that he was lying. Most men think women are dumb when it comes to deciphering a knave from a gentleman. What most men do not know is that we know they are lying most times but are afraid to admit the truth to ourselves because of how much it hurts. We do not want to drive a wedge between our lout and us; therefore we do not question your flimsy excuses and statements because we do not want an argument. We do not want a rift in the relationship. We want you to feel comfortable and most Jamaican women do not want to be accused of nagging him. So we pretend it’s all nice in paradise.

8. He is insecure. A man who lies about his social or financial status is a clear indication that he has self esteem problems. He has not accepted himself and will have a hard time accepting you.

9. He has something to hide. A man, who lies about his real name or his past, has something to hide. Be wary of him. You may be having a relationship with a wanted murderer and do not know it. Once you suspect he is lying, you need to get out of that relationship now.

10. He is afraid of consequences. Most men like to do their dirty deeds and get away with it. This is the primary reason why men lie because they are afraid of the repercussions. Men hate confrontations with their mates and will try to avoid it at all cost. Lying is the easiest way out. Others will avoid you until they think you have gotten over their misdemeanor then they resurface again.

Ten attitudes that will turn a Jamaican Off

How to turn a Jamaican Man off!

We know that there are various conducts, deeds, gestures and even utterances that are surefire ways to end a relationship and prevent the establishment of one. Jamaican men like most men also have their version of gestures, actions and verbalism that are completely off limits if you want to have a relationship with them.
Here are ten ways to turn a Jamaican Man off!
1. Call his phone incessantly
Men are not like women in that they do not have the centripetal level of emotions that we require. Whenever we meet a man we want to always talk to him because we interpret communication as a means of measuring the level of interaction and friendship that a man wants. However men may interpret frequent calling as a sign of insecurity and neediness. Eligible bachelors do not find women that are unsure of themselves attractive. Numerous calls may also indicate that you have a lot of time to waste and there are certain men that will not find that fact intriguing. Additionally, men like to chase women. Allow him to make the calls and chase you. You do not want to give him the idea that you are easy, ‘fryten fee him” or insane. Calling a guy often especially when intimacy has not been established may imply psychological disorders such as chronic obsession. A man will not feel comfortable knowing that you need to know his whereabouts every minute of the day.
2. Disrespect him while in public
Jamaican men and men overall are very keen on social perception by their male counterparts. A man will not take it lightly if you raise your voice at him in public as you would a child or pick a fight with him in front of his friends especially due to frivolity. A man may be forced to slap you to salvage his masculine ego and we do not want it to reach that far. Men are anthropologically, theologically and sociological the authority in the household. This means that he should be respected by his spouse. A woman dictating, quarrelling and reprimanding him in public sternly discord with those societal notions. That is a surefire way to insult a man, crush his ego and damage or reduce his love and appreciation of you.

3. Ask him to buy a phone card the first time you meet him
I do not know what it is with Jamaican men and phone calling cards but recently if you ask a Jamaican man to buy you a phone card, it will be equivalent to saying that you are a gold digger. Men associate phone card with phone calls. If a man buys you a phone card and do not get a call from you, then he assumes that you are just after the calling card and have no real interest in him.
4. Kiss and Tell
Jamaican men despise a woman that has sex with him and then tells her friends. This is further exacerbated if the man is sexually unsatisfactory or he has insecurities regarding his size. No doubt other men will engage you to hear about his ineptitude but they will also be wary of you for being a chatter box!

5. Disrespect his Mother
It is repulsive to disrespect his mother and family in any essence. The backlash and the damage to your relationship could be irreversible. His mother will always resent you for your obscene tongue and you will always been seen in the family as the girl who disrespected the matriarch. If he is a serious man then the minute that you make such foul utterances, you will be out the door.

6. When a woman is ‘too stush or too masculine’
A Jamaican man does not like a woman who behaves like a man. If he is an effeminate man then he will not be affected by a ‘mannish woman’. But most Jamaican men do not want a woman that behaves like a man. That is a surefire way to turn off a Jamaican man. Tom boys are absolutely off limit and on the other end of the spectrum so is the uppity, pompous and conceited. A woman who is arrogance will be perceived as desired conquest than as a potential partner.

7. A woman without ambition
A Jamaican man will be turned off by a woman does not possess any form of desire for success or purpose for the future. Jamaican men are not fond of a lady without a purpose. Additionally most men are seeking a partner to share the financial burdens of today’s modern family. Due to the devaluation of the Jamaican dollar and high cost of living due to inflation most males are seeking a woman that can bring ‘something to the table. Therefore both partners can share the cost and there will be more money in the household.

8. Cheating
If you want a Jamaican man to dump you in a second, tell him that you cheated on him or that you have cheated on your last boyfriends. He will gladly assume that you are a cheater and that it is your relational trademark. Lack of trust in any relationship decreases its durability by fifty percent. A man will not trust a woman who is communally known as a serial cheater.
9. Give him a Jacket
Jacket is the Jamaican vernacular for a child who has a father that is not his biological father in the most cases, neither the child nor the father knows that they are not biologically related. The mother is the person who knows of this phenomenon. When a Jamaican man discovers that the woman that he lives with has given him another man’s child to father, it can greatly destroy the relationship. The man may decide to no longer support the child and may leave the relationship if the community is privy to the ‘Jacket Scenario’. A Jamaican man will think that you are taking him for an idiot by giving him a child that does not belong to him.
10. Search his phone
A Jamaican man’s phone is like his diary. If you want to have a huge argument with your spouse, take his phone and gloss through his messages. Call back every female number that you see in his phone and ‘trace them off’. You will certainly turn him off by doing that. He will be very angry with you and if you try that stupid stunt several times, you may well kiss your mate good bye!

Jamaican men do not tolerate invasions of their privacy. Men do not like women who search their gadgets or even private quarters. It communicates to him that you are insecure and possible emotionally unstable. A man will not want a relationship with a woman who does not understand or respects his personal space. He will not want a relationship with a woman who will be upset with his friends or mistrust his judgment.

For more insight on Jamaican Men click the following links
http://socyberty.com/men/Jamaican-men-money-and-relationships/
http://socyberty.com/relationships/why-jamaican-men-hate-cerebral-women/