What to do with that response text that comes a few days, weeks, or months later...

What to do with that response text that comes a few days, weeks, or months later...

I know many women have been in that situation where you sent someone a text message. You were feeling desperate because you have not heard from him in five days, or your last message was ignored or in a bout of frustration you blurted out your most passionate feelings only to have it mercilessly disregarded. You painstakingly pull through, often through days of depressed and turbulent emotions managed to get over the embarrassment and hurt only to have that person reply a few weeks later. He does not reply, He texting you to catch up for he has ran out of platinum Pu$$y and is feeling a little bored and so he draws for the girls he knows are still very much desperately in love with him. You should not be happy. You should be upset if not mortified. You are a fall back girl.

You Know what to do.

A part of you is glad that this person finally responded or you are still sore from the bruised ego you suffered by the time they took to acknowledge your feelings that you opt to give them a taste of their own medicine. The Vindictive stance might sound appealing but i never go the way of personal vendetta. Maturity is always the best avenue by expressing my feelings about being ignored and letting my ignorer know that i am not even remotely interested in someone who treats me like an afterthought. I am not trying to hurt his feelings, I am just being honest about where i am in my life. I have a simple rule. If you can go that much days without speaking to me and i did not die then i can survive without associating with you for the rest of my life. I am a big girl, i will live.

I cannot be nice and women who go the route of being nice and accommodating will regret it. The very thought of how i felt during the period of "Oblivion" is enough to deter me from being even remotely interested in this person. I do not ever want to feel like that again and so i avoid him like a plague.

I know if you are not the most civil person that you might be tempted to blow up and hurl insults aimed at hurting them the way they did you but that route only confirms your feelings. The way of passive recognition even an affable conversation will irk them the right way. You can say Hi and be courteous and concern at the end of the conversation. It is unfair but at times you cannot always treat people as they truly deserve. It is sometimes better to choose the high ground.

I once told a young man that i am a webmaster so i know your type. You are like my webservers, unsecure and full of holes but these young girls are too desperate to land a man like you thinking you are some gateway to financial security that they can never effectively exploit you. He was shocked and I explained to him, "that is where your so-call irresistibility comes from, you are seen as an opportunity for economic improvement. Take all your money away, the social gratification of your financial position coupled with that cocky attitude and warped sense of entitlement and see how many of these women would even be remotely interested in you.
But people do have a change of heart and the period after reintroduction often determines whether or not this person is worth a second chance.

Ladies Please Be More Realistic when it comes to Dating- Jamaican Men and Women

I never chase, i just replace, I only chase the dollars i make...Those who like me, raise your hand and for those who don't, raise your standards. Deuces!!!!

When i first saw this picture of the guy who actually exchanged a package worth 160k for a $20 draw of weed. I had a wtf moment and then i thought he is as amusing as the story of the little boys in Africa who exchanged their diamonds for some candies. That is just the way it is people will quickly pass you up if (1) they have no knowledge of your worth and (2) You are not what they are looking for. It might sound shallow but human beings react to every thing at face value and this has been our primary reasons for having all those regrets when we discover the truth later on.

There are some men regardless of how great a woman you are who will quickly swap whatever you are offering them because your package "aint right" or he is ignorant of what you have inside for the temporary high of the partner or females he is accustom to. It is not just men who are prone to react like this but women do it too.

We pass up great people because our scope of value is narrow or concentrated on what we already know and we are accustom to that we end up with regrets. Women get their panties wet over thinking about the man they like while men cannot get a boner for a woman that does not match his ideal. Women pass up good men because they do not like how they look and men complain about meeting superficial women because they keep chasing women who look like barbies,. Everyone chasing a fantasy. Women want men who are chasing Dudes who are only interested in platinum pu$$y and women fall in love with men who should wear a tag on their forehead stating. " Mr. Love Em and Leave Em"

Am not saying a girl cannot dream but know the difference between what is going on in your head and your reality. Keep a friend who is a voice of rationality. Read and educate yourself. Arm yourself with the armour of knowledge of self honesty so that you can shield yourself from utopic expectations that lead to heartache.

Ten Rules of Engagement with Your Jamaican Man!!!!

So we have heard this notion hundreds of times, we have read the books and watched the movies of some tell tale sign that translates whether or not your current love interest is even remotely interested in you.

1. I think a man or a woman knows when someone wants to be with them, they often avidly pursue their object of affection. If someone is not calling you, speaking to you or display any interest in your life then that person's interest is already invested elsewhere. Use yourself as a measure of your prospective partner. As a matter a fact, use the guy who likes you too much who you want nothing to do with as a yardstick for the one you are chasing and is running away from you.

2. The one whom you have to be begging to return a message or a text is definitely not that into you. When we love people we want to be around them so that we can catch pieces of their lives, share their most intimate moments of joys and offer comfort in times of despair. If the guy you like doesn't call when your mother dies or offer condolences, then he definitely does not care about you.

3. The one who only texts or calls to ask when he will be able to have sex with you. It is okay if you do not have a problem in being only an orifice for some boy's penis but if you are hoping for a relationship with a man who is clearly only interested in the physical part of your correspondence and finds your best personality boring, has never invited you on a date or outing, does not talk about taking it to the next level and often refers to your relationship followed by hashtag #Just for sex or We have a ting? This nigga is clearly not that into you.

4. After having a wonderful introduction he excuses himself to eat his dinner or whatever. Women know that we use the phone even in the shower and our list of boy toys text us even when they are driving. A dude who is really into you will not leave your next meeting up to chance. He will make an effort to see you. So if your current crush idea of your next meet goes something like " we will link up next time or me will see you a next time" with no solicitation for a number he is clearly not that into you or maybe his plate is really full now and he will find someway to get in contact with you when he runs out of options.

5. If you are afraid to text or call your love interest then your feet is already halfway through the door. Your inhibition might be faulty but it is always a manifestation of things within your sub-concious that tells you that this guy is not that into you. Something you notice in his behaviour like a knit of the brow, that odd feeling you get from being around him which is him often subtle giving you a negative vibe. If approaching your crush makes you feel uncomfortable then maybe you should relax and let him do some of the work in getting this union off the jump start.

6. If you are having sex with someone and you feel used or exploited then that is your cue to stop. Sex is a beautiful natural activity and one should feel fulfilled and relaxed after sex. If you are feeling pressured, unloved and sexual intercourse is like doing an exam you did not study for then you are having sex with someone who is not that into you. Face it, you know when you do something with a guy who loves you, how he treats you and how he responds to your needs. If he is demanding, insistent on his own pleasure, quick to leave after the act and discards you like a used football jersey then you are clearly screwing a guy who is not that into you.

7. The Guy who just broke up with his ex that he is still brooding over is the last man you want to have a relationship with. He will not only be emotionally unavailable but he will carry over his resentment for his ex into this relationship. Not that men do not rebound very fast from a break up but if your new beau is someone recently old dude then you might be sharing your life with a transient lover who is using you to dull the ache in his heart, to soothe his bruised ego and might not be entirely into you. If he leads the relationship with a " am not ready for another relationship or we can do a thing on the down low or is afraid to let the world know that you two are an item". He is clearly not that into you.

8. If you are in a relationship already and you are interested in a new person then it is best to leave the one you are with first. You will not get one hundred percent from a man who knows you already has another man. He will take whatever you offer but he will never truly respect you because he knows you are cheating on your beau. If you decide to cheat then ensure that if your partner leaves you then he/she will be willing to dedicate themselves to you. If not you would have wasted their time and yours. You exchanged your bronze for a wash over gold.

9. Classism affects relationships in that a woman has to be careful how willing she is to settle or sleep with someone who might be of a lower social, intellectual or financial status. It is not being prejudicial but the social image fall out from sleeping with someone who is not your equal can leave an indelible mark on not only your life but your reputation. It is like doctor sleeping with a scammer. You should not be having a relationship with someone with whom you are ashamed of and can never be public with. Pursuing relationships that if they are made public could spell disgrace are one of the reasons middle class women end up with fatherless children.

10. Don't give away your love for free. It doesn't mean a man should have to buy your affection it only states that if you value yourself then make him at least work for it. Do not hand it to him on a platter. If someone values your company then they will not see spending time with you as work or some kind of inconvenience. If your gut is telling you that you are in a messed up situation then maybe you need to get out.

What Tommy Lee is doing to our Young Men!

I would be a liar if I said that I was not intrigue by Tommy Lee Sparta lyricism,his fixation with morbidity and graphic detailing of crime and violence has given me much insight into the minds of our young SHOTTas.

Tommy Lee Sparta did not begin this connection between dance hall music and violence but he has taken it to a different level. Tommy Lee augments the glorification of the gun, he purports killing as if it is a superior artistic elemental that only youths of a certain; a not easily attainable calibre can commit. The grimmer the death experience is for the victims, the better, he sensationalizes the connection between criminality and the dark forces. Only someone deep in satanic worship as religious  fanatics put it would name himself "Uncle Demon"

When I listen to Tommy Lee even last night at this party I went to, I always observe the magic transformation, his music has on the patrons. Young men with Gun Fingers at their sides, step out in militancy, face contorted in mime anger and determination: if a bwoy step to any of these young men in the height of one of these Tommy Lee "highs" , memba smady a get dust out.

Not even Vybz Kartel elicits this kind of violent response, after all Kartel is mostly regarded as a Galist and not a badman. Mavado is the one that is considered a Gangster. My main concern Is how the man them get grieve as soon as them hear a Tommy Lee Song.

I will admit that on many afternoons, high on Hennessey and red bull, I would imbibe doses of Tommy Lee Sparta's at parties and Jah Know 'me feel like the baddest gyal around'. I am not naturally a violent person so last night after seeing the Gangstas them "clutch back" as they would say in one of the many badman idiomatic references that are becoming a part of mainstream dialect in the Ghetto. This I will explore after I've done some researches with some of these alleged 'chargies'.

.what I often imagine is how this type of music affects a well thinking person of a rather mild disposition and compare it with the psycho emotional impact it has on a young, semi-literate, barely rational, angry, disaffected youth carrying "vengeance"(grudges) against society for his unfortunate status in life. What you have are easy candidates to build an army. Add some drugs and ,liquor to the mix, and you have found yourself a mean killing machine.

Who is responsible for our young men's obsession with Guns, Money and Murdering someone for the slightest offence? Our young men have lost touch with their values brought on by an erosion of the value system in our society and its replacement being that of the media and misguided notions purported by people with dishonourable intentions.

i believe that our educators have a greater burden on their shoulder, we need an ethics and values class within our education system where children are taught from kindergarten about the value of their humanity. When i was a child, most kids went to church. Today parents do not send their children to church therefore children are not encountering the tenets of christian principles which forms the cores of the values and moral that the Jamaican Society Embraces.

Successful people are afraid to go back to the Ghetto and help youths because they become preys for social predators and their army. How can anyone be interested in helping our children evolve into the best of their humanity when they are consistently bombarded by extortionist, gangsters and thugs.
Small minded people misinterpret charity as meaning you have more to give than seeing it as generosity and will become plagues upon your life. Imagine i buy some books and give it away to children, keep a little back to school fete, i spend a mere $50,000 plus donations from Charities and people misinterpret that as being rich. What does that say about how people view life? If i have to give away, it means i have a superfluous amount! Unknowingly, i invited "bay preements" unto myself without having any intention of doing so. All of a sudden people start checking you for pampers for their baby and stuff...


Tommy Lee is a product of our society. He claims it is just entertainment yet i watched a couple interviews he did and wondered how vacuous he really is and if he writes his lyrics. He sounds shrill to my ears, like rubbing a piece a zinc on a grater and that "yuh zimmi", its annoying and a tell-tale sign of imprudence and rest assure, most teenage boys use it like a pronunciation at the end of every statement.

I say to cousin "WEH U A GO TRAVIS' His response "go out pon the front" laughs and adds "you zemmiiie". I roll my eyes, this is what Tommy Lee does to these young men.

I am not saying Tommy Lee Sparta does not have depth and he has probably seen more gruesome stuff in his 24 years than i have in my 25, but we are the same age group yet we do not think the same way. We have two completely different outlook on life. Or maybe i am not in a position to judge Tommy Lee the person since i only know about Tommy Lee the Artiste.

What i would like to hear is Tommy Lee putting on Forums and spearheading campaigns against Violence. Telling young men the horrific truth of life as a Spartan. Better yet i do not even know why Tommy Lee chose Sparta. He is not even Greek. Does he understand who is a Spartan? Is He alluding to the residents who were free in the Greek city but did not have political rights? why not Zulu or Mandingo? he might have a pint there but endorsing the murder and mayhem as resolution tactics is not the way forward for our society.

I know many overzealous young men are dying for a revolution and power. But remember with great power comes great responsibility. Tommy Lee has five kids and he should think about how his lyrics are affecting the way people might deal with his children.Conflict is unavoidable because human beings will have disagreements but should we be encouraging our children to "mek river run" like blood out of any one who disagrees with our opinions or if someone says something that offends our sensibilities.

Jamaican Men homophobic yet spend a lot of time bonding with men

This is a conversation that i have had aplenty with my spouse and male friends about the unlimited amount of time they feel inclined to spend with male friends instead of with their partners. I am not saying that they should commit themselves exclusively to their wives but many men will spend the entire day at work with friends then spend another four hours after work with male brethren at the bar and their entire weekend with other men. My spouse replied that sometimes they are not at bars with men but with other women( often promiscuous, loose, tartly women) that is they are basically hunting in packs.

When my spouse comes home sometimes after 12 midnight or one am, he claims he walked out the road to be with his boys and when i would tag along oftentimes, i am the sole female among a bag of men often gossiping about people's business, potential and achieved sexual conquest. I am no longer invited to these extended male bonding sessions since i consistently rain on their parade and trounced their frivolous, prurient, superficial conversations.

I have had countless discussion with men and women about the fact that even though Jamaican men are homophobic, they spend an awful amount of time bonding with men. It appears that the only thing they don't do with men is have sex with them but they would rather spend their entire day with male friends and come home when they want to have sex, eat thier dinner, sleep or take a shower. If his male friends cook food then rest assure that you are not going to see your man anytime soon.

If they have a friend who spends a lot of time with his woman than with them (male friends) they begin to "bun" out the woman and bring strife to disintegrate the relationship. Some men begin to call their male friends who spend time with their women defamatory terms such as implying that they are with their women all the time because he is watching her. He will be ashamed of such a pronouncement and other this particular male to spend more time with them. They will often taunt a man who is on lockdown. Women are basically only good for sex, show and procreation. While male opinion and company is valued and dogmas are only considered correct if it is seen from a man and his male friendès perspectives.

They are content spending time with other men, interacting, sharing thoughts and experiences yet they think it is unmanly and taboo to do the same with their female spouses. Very few men have genuine female friends who they are not intimately involved with. It appears that a relationship with any woman that is acoitus is seen as foolish and unreasonable. How can you be just a friend with a woman without "looking" her under the cover or pretending to get in her pantie. women are made for intercourse and nothing more, how can you befriend a woman simply for her personality and reasoning ability. How Chauvinistic!


Men do need their "Guy" time but once you are in a relationship, you can no longer live like a bachelor. Most Jamaican men don't mind living like they are college boys in their twenties living the sweet bachelor life while their wives pine away at home for their love and companionship. In many cases the woman grows to resent the man and end up cheating on him. I know of situations where women are pregnant and near labour due dates and their partners are out clubbing with his friends. I know men who their women have to fight them to get them to ge them to spend an evening with her and it is often boring or the atmosphere tinged with simmering anger since he would rather be at the bar or out chatting with his bachelor wanna-be-friends. The female often resents letting him stay since nothing changes.

Even though some men may claim that they are too busy to spend time with their wives. They always seem to find time to bond with male friends and sleep around with other women. Some women seldom see their partners in daylight and others can count on their hands, the last time they sat and "reasoned"with their man. Most men will come home, eat his dinner, take a bath and go back on the road only to return when he is sleepy which is often around 1 or 2 am the next morning. And that is what most men call spending time together. When a man says he is going to chill with you, watch and see how quickly he falls asleep or make an excuse to go back on the road.

Diary of a lovelorn victim of narcissism: Lethargy and disenchantment

The numb of the pain that I am experiencing within my system is nothing compared to the hollowness that I feel within my body. My mind feels as if it has been disconnected from my being. My soul is like a scared child cowered in the inner most recesses of my existence. My future seem dim, I did not know that a shared tiny moment would have affected my entire life. I react in tears to displays of affection and my body recoils from embrace of love from the opposite sex. I have begun to see your face on all of them. I have used your behavior as a yardstick for their conduct. Why can’t you be like them?


He seemed to have moved on very easily. He pretends I do not exist while I am withering away in to my fantasies of me and him. I keep dreaming, desperate for a reconnection I know will not materialized and even if it transpires the experience will not be less harrowing.


What can I do? I carry one with hope that one day the pain will go away. I pray that I will feel whole again, alive and in tune with who I am. I salvage what’s left of my self esteem and I drag on. My joy has been taken away. I cannot have fun. I am in a crowd and I feel starkly alone. I am surrounded by love still I only feel hatred and revulsion. I want to run to a corner in my room and lick my wounds. But I get up. I dance, laugh and return gestures.


If you could stare into my eyes, you would see that there was not one sparkle there. If you stared closely, you would have noticed my tight, forced smile. If you pried deeper you would have seen that my joy is merely skin deep. Nothing on the surface has reached my soul. But I cannot force my problems on you. You empathy and sympathy might reinforce the dullness and pain I am feeling. Some may re-traumatized me and others simply will not understand. My wounds are not palpable and tactile, they are soulful and emotional. You wouldn’t understand. Therefore I drag on…


Yes I drag since my feet refused to lift of the ground. I am too lethargic. Some days I am too weak but still I carry on for fear I may vegetate and then the narcissist would have won. He would have laughed at me and his ego inflated taking comfort and joy in my despair. I must go on. I must pick up the pieces and find a way to mend them back together. I must find my soul. Soul where are you? I must go on!

Why Jamaican Men get offensive when a woman knows what she wants

Why men get offensive when a woman knows what she wants?

Why alpha men do not like intelligent women?

I was reading stories on the website Baggagereclaim.com about how successful, intelligent women are having difficulties finding a spouse who are on their level. Women are complaining that if a man perceives that a woman makes more money than him, then he is less likely to pursue a relationship with her. Men are very intimidated by a woman who is far more trenchant and smarter than he is. Women are saying that men are more likely to be obnoxious and distance while having a conversation with a woman who is “too deep”. Women asserted that if a female demonstrates that she knows topics beyond latest magazine gossips, shoes, clothing and other superficial conversation topical, a man easily becomes bored.

I want to share some tidbits of encounters I have had with an alpha males or so-called alpha males and his dispositions. I would love for my readers to make an assessment of the situation. I will share my input and you may share yours if you choose to at the bottom of the page.
My latest encounter was with a well known executive who I will call Tony. Tony is the type of man who is intelligent in his natural sense. He is an avid reader, experience and has an ego the size of Jupiter. Tony falls into a category of men who initially find a woman’s intelligence intriguing but as soon as he realized that it will stymie his ability to get her in bed, her intellect becomes insufferable to him. He will attempt to insult her by way of degrading her physique or downplaying the importance of her trenchancy by insinuating that she is overcompensating or below standard. The woman will more likely than not be offended by his comments, shuts up for the rest of the date or simply give him lib and leave his arrogant ass.


He will resort to character assassination to wear down her chastity defenses. He will attempt to destroy her self concepts and ideologies by rendering them immaterial and vacuous. The idea is to reduce her self awareness so that he can have his way with his date. He wants to tear down a woman’s defenses to the point where she will comply with his advances and he wins by getting her to change her morals. It is simply an ego struggle between an alpha male and an alpha female that he perceives to be a threat to his masculine inflated ego.



Tony told me that I was using erudite terms to overcompensate for my nonexistent self esteem and as a means of impressing men. I stared at him tongue in cheek as my psychology skills honed into high gear. This man was accusing me of trying to impress him when he changed his car on each date we went out on. I did not accuse him of being pompous when he told me about his cruises and travels. He apparently liked hearing the sound of his voice and not the sound of mine. He was complaining about my grandiloquence, when the entire conversation from his end was riddled with complexities, self satisfying philosophies and profundity. What a double standard? It was OK for him to be erudite but for me it meant that I was a cerebral narcissist with a labile self worth.


Tony told me that he did not believe Oprah Winfrey was a successful woman. In his mind, her money did not make her successful. He said that she did not have children and was afraid of committing to Stedman. From his perspective, a woman cannot be successful without playing the traditional roles which included, child bearing, rearing and domestication. He was vicariously telling me what he thought of women like me, who were aspiring to become Oprah Winfrey or a variant of her. It was becoming more palpable that my date was a chauvinist. He said that being an intelligent woman was a good thing but it would not hurt to use my vagina other than my intellect as a means of ascendancy in life (to add insult to injury). He asserted that I was young, naïve and dumb girl with the notion that the world is going to pause to accommodate ‘my naive, archaic ideas of love, marriage and relationships’.



He contended that I needed a sex life because he knows that I am pining away for a man and it was affecting my ability to reason. He claims that I should try being feminine, using guile and sexiness to ensnare men and maybe then I would be able to keep a man. He said instead of concentrating on success, I should try to figure out how to get and keep man. He declared that I was terminally naïve, theoretically intelligent but lacking street knowledge. It became clear to me that this man was not interested in me but rather how I made him feel and whether or not he would be able to have sex with me. He said “try using you p*@#$%, it will take you places and sometimes faster than your brain”. What an insult!!!!



I was naïve and dumb because I refuse to be treated like an object of sexual gratification by a married man. I was “terminally naïve” because I refused to behave like most young adult females who see intercourse as a meal ticket or an escape into a paroxysm of pleasure. I had an imaginary self esteem fueled by my unwavering desire for intellectual superiority, cognition and academical success and that was a sin than a virtue. The man had known me for an hour. He concluded that I was naïve, brilliant yet lacking street knowledge, utopic and possesses low self regard. Why do I keep attracting emotionally unavailable men with gigantic egos and a desire to assassinate my character?



The funny thing about this conversation is that I did not tell Mr. Tony that I was interested in him as a potential partner. Mr. Tony happens to be happily married with a family and is interested in dating young women for sexual gratifications. I quickly conclude that a man of his character would have had absolutely nothing virtuous to say to me. Why did I go on a date with him was beyond me.


Men of Tony’s character enjoy seeing women in domestic and traditional positions. He contended that he was a moral man and yet he was adulterous, cheating on his beta wife at home. Tony realized that I was adamant with my relational precepts and sought to wear me down my insinuating that I was unattractive. Tony declared that I am probably responsibly for my past relationships. He was convinced that my ex boyfriends had deserted me. He did not ask me about my life, instead he was telling me what he gleaned from our brief encounter. Tony was attempting to impel a change in my perspectives by using the old narcissistic tactic called character assassination.



The man stated that I should change my worldview before it is too late and I should cease pursuing success and act like a regular twenty one year old. Regular twenty one year olds are ecstatic to have sex with older married men in exchange for money and pleasure. A cursory relationship with no strings attached was what Mr. Tony was offering me. He was offering me (in his mind) a life because I had none based on his analysis.



I sat back and peered at him from across the table, feeling amused and incensed by his diatribe. I was halfway between bursting into loud guffaws, grabbing my bag and stomping out of the restaurant like a raging bull. He kept ranting oblivious of the fumes emanating from my body. It took him a while to realize that I had stop contributing and he was listening to his own voice. I muttered reactionary sentences to reassure him that I was interested in his relationship dogmas and what he thought of me. It is always wise to agree with a verbal attacker or remain silence. Defending oneself will encourage and embolden the attacker, to bombard with more insults, lower blows and harsher statements. Do not add gasoline to a fire, doused it with water. Remembering my grandmother’s philosophy for dealing with men of this nature, I relaxed and allow Mr. Tony to voice his opinions about my sexuality and how he thought I could effectively improve my existence through sexual transmission.

Women will attest that men rarely need to hear about your sapient notions and deep rhetoric while on a date. Most men are interested in getting sensual and carnal. The reality of the situation is that men do not want to know what your IQ score is but are more interested in the diameter of one’s vagina.

Ten signs you need to dump the guy you are dating!

Ten signs you need to dump the guy you are dating!


Are you dating a man who exudes behavioral characteristics that have you questioning whether or not you should continue the relationship? Chances are your rationale for disconnection far outweighs the reasons to maintain the relations. I have compiled a list of reasons that you should not promote this individual to the next level in your life.


1. He is possessive. You do not need a man who treats you like a property. A man who relates to you like he would an object. It should telegraph to a woman that the man will never regard her as a human being or understand your feelings. To be short, your man will never afford freedom. You will be a prisoner, one of your own making if you decided to pursue this relationship. Most traits that are exhibited during the dating stages do not mitigate once the relationship has been established. In many cases, unfavorable dispositions are magnified because the man has won his prize and does not feel that he needs to pretend anymore.


2. He is rude. Obnoxious behavior is a sign of insecurity where an individual masks his weakness by being boorish and abusive. Men suffering from narcissistic and antisocial personality disorders are very uncouth. It is first recognized as a minor slip up until it mutates in a hurls of obscenities. This is one man; you do not want to pursue a relationship with.


If he makes snide remarks about your appearance beneath the guise of humor, do not be naïve, he means every word. You do not need a man of this rude nature in your life. Verbal and ambient abuse can be far more traumatizing than physical abuse as the victims is emotionally and psychologically battered. Such injuries are the hardest to heal and forget as the scars remain forever.



3. He asks you for money. Be aware of the man who makes pecuniary demands on you. Rest assure that this is the beginning of a scheme to milk your finances. If you are dating a man that is requiring that you always pay for dinner, movie and you are bearing the finances of the companionship. It may be that you are paying a man to spend time with you. You have an inherent value that deems you worthy of a relationship without having to bail your bank account. It should be noted that a gold digger cannot be bought. They are opportunistic and the minute they find someone who is in a better financial position than you, they will leave you. In the end you will have double lost, you will lose a partner and your funds. He will move on with a new loaded partner and they both drive off into the sunset leaving you with your broken life pieces to pick up.



4. You make all the calls. If you are having a relationship with a man where you make all the calls then you need to step back and make an analysis. I am not saying that if he calls once in a while, I mean he never calls. It communicates to me that you are the one who is investing in the relationship. It also conveys that he is not that into you. He is not as interested in the relationship as you are. You are forcing water up a hill that will eventually turn over on you and drown you.



5. He does not keep his promises. If you are dating a man who tells you that he is going to do something but does not follow up, it is a major red flag for a potential relationship. A man who tells you that you will meet up at seven but does not show and does not call to apologize is a sure sign that you need to end relations. If he is not consistent with his claims then you are bound to have problems with your relationship (if it moves into the relationship phase). This person does not like you and does not care about your feelings. If you associate this person regardless of their dido then you need to do this from a position of control. If you are having fun, then go ahead but if you are seeking something serious, then Mr. Inconsistency is a big No. Men will continue to commit an offence if they think that they can get away with it. They will do this as long as they can, until you put a stopping to it. Do you want a man who will make promises, he will not keep and refuse to acknowledge his infractions and apologize?




6. You do not trust him because he is a liar. If you suspect that the man you are dating is not being absolutely honest with you then it’s a major call for a halt on your relationship. It is not advisable to have a relationship with a man you suspect of dishonesty. If you are questioning his values then it means that you need to reevaluate your position and what you need from this union. My advice will be to end that relationship. A dishonest person cannot be trusted and a fraud has something treacherous to hide. If he cannot be honest about his identity and his intentions then he will never be sincere with you.




7. He is self centered. If you are dating a man who you perceives is a narcissist or an egoist, then you will have a problem with this individual. A man, who thinks the world is centered on him, will not have any time to pander your needs because he is very busy with himself. A person whose ideals revolved around their own existence will rarely if ever have time to concentrate on anyone outside of the self. You will be fighting for his attention with himself.




8. He has a bad track record. A notorious womanizer and abuser are not the most admirable history when dating a man. If you are dating a man and you are privy of his past where he beats his ex partner then you need to put your feet in your hands and run. Abusers are very predictable and if a man abuses his ex spouse, chances he are he will abuse you when the relationship matures. You do not need a relationship with an abuser who will tear down yourself concept and self esteem. He will leave you feeling drained traumatized and depleted. Do a research on victims of abuse (if you have never been subjected to it) and you will discover that once the honey moon stage is passed then the abuser unveils his true nefarious nature. You may not see him as an abuser but he will reveal his true nature when the time is right and fright.




9. He has made it clear that he is only interested in a casual relationship. If you are looking for a husband and yet the man that you are dating has made it clear that he is only interested in sex, then you need to change your values or you need end the relationship. Do not continue the relationship on the premise that he will wise up and pursue a profound relationship with you. I am not saying that people do not change their intentions. I am asking if you are willing to wait for a man to want a serious relationship. Are you willing to suffer the consequences? This guy may decide to settle down eventually and chose not to do so with you. How will you cope? You might think that he used you and feel indignant for wasting your time, energy and interest on a man. Are you willing to put yourself to the test?




10. He is always busy. A man who is a workaholic or claims that he is busy with his career for u may not be the mate that you need in your life. This is the first stage of the relationship where a person is suppose to be giving their best and you are dating a man who does not have time for you. Can you imagine the relationship that you will have when you get serious and he feels as if he does not need to try hard to woo you anymore?



It should be noted that some men used the overly occupied claim as a shroud because they do not want to tell you that they do not want to spend time with you and that they are not interested in you. Some men pray that you will get the message and realized that they are not superbly busy but too busy for you.



There are many hard and fast in relationships. An individual has to ultimately know what he or she wants. Be prepared to deal with the results of the relationship you are pursuing if it goes sour. Remember you have been warned.

Are Jamaican Men Hypocrites

Are Jamaican Men Hypocrites in relationships?

I sat down on my verandah watching my baby sister play on the ground and wonder what the dating scene would be like for her in more than a decade from now. I pray that Jamaican men would change their hypocritical and double standard principles regarding relationships. Here are five instances of Jamaican male relational double standard and hypocrisy!

1. Have you ever listened to a hardcore sexual gratifying Jamaican song and noted that male deejays enjoy the idea of a woman granting oral sex but treats male conferring of the same said activity with disdain and repulsion? Jamaican men enjoy oral sex but do not want to give it back for fear that it will emasculate them. Even thought this maybe so, many men would prefer woman engaging in the ac but do not want to reciprocate the female.

2. Some Jamaican fathers enjoy having sexual relations with younger girls even the peers of their daughters but do not want to see other older men with their child. Jamaican men will have relations with a seventeen year old but do not want to see his seventeen year old in a relationship.

3. Jamaican men enjoy the idea of a woman on the street wearing revealing clothing but not the woman in his house. In some cases the man may have met the woman wearing revealing clothes on the street but now that she is his woman, she is not allowed to dress like that anymore. Additionally, when he goes out on the street, he is attracted to women in that attire.


4. Jamaican men contend that they want a woman with natural beauty and find the synthetic extensions and make up, superfluous and unattractive. Yet if a woman decides to be natural, she is less likely to attract the attention of a man on the street. I have walked down town with my natural unprocessed hair, unmade face and wearing Christian like clothing and not one male approached me. The next day I did my hair and dolled my face and went down town and it was an entirely different reaction from the men. Why Jamaican men claim that they want natural girl but a woman with natural looks especially a woman of Negro descent will not get any form of masculine attention on the road or in the dancehall.

5. Jamaican men will meet a girl in the dancehall and refused to allow her to go back to the party scene. Yet that is the very scene that he met her on. Just like the guys who pick women up from bars and marry her and then expect her to remain at home and never visit a bar again.

The Hypocrisy of Jamaican Men

The Hypocrisy of Jamaican Men

Lisa Hype became the most popular and controversial Jamaican dance hall female artiste after a picture of her was released on the internet featuring Lisa Hype performing oral sex on a male. The island and the Jamaican Diaspora held their breaths to see how the Portmore Empire and its collegiate would respond to the photograph and rumors claiming that the recipient was Portmore Empire leader, producer and mentor, Vybz Kartel.


I anticipated that Lisa Hype would lose her contract with the Portmore Empire and that was precisely what happened. According to the Portmore Empire, Lisa Hype’s overall behavior was not reflective of the dogmas decorum and dictum of the Portmore Empire and its members. Lisa Hype was released from her contract by Vybz Kartel and a unanimous agreement from the other members.

According to the dogma of the Portmore Empire and its litany of artiste, oral sex and anal sex are considered deviant and unacceptable. Lisa Hype and Vybz Kartel did a song that clearly denounced and deplored oral sex (even though I have always contended those artistes are hypocrites who do not practice what they preach) and this latest development with Lisa Hype would have confirmed what many had suspected all along. Which is that most Jamaican artiste deprecate oral sex yet they personally engaged in the activity and often time insist that their partners do it.

When I heard Lisa Hype was fired fro the Empire over the evening news it conceded the hypocrisy and double standard of Vybz Kartel and many Jamaican men regarding their sexuality and women. I sat and listened to several Vybz Kartel songs that propounded and implied oral sex. There are songs where the entertainer claims that he loves a freak in his bed. Vybz Kartel in one of his latest hits talks about whip cream and crushed ice and blatantly claims that he enjoys oral sex.

A clear example of hypocrisy and sexual chauvinism. Women should coffer oral sex while men should not. It is acceptable for a woman to do it but not a man. Men should receive but should not return the affection. This is the reason why men who engage in oral sex vehemently deny that they do it because of fear of social backlash and communal sanctioning.
My big question is what exactly do Jamaican men want in bed? Why are Jamaican men hypocrites when it comes to genuine desires and sexual dictums?
What do Jamaican men want in bed?

A woman will tell you that nine out of ten Jamaican men like the idea of oral sex but when a woman performs oral sex, fifty percent of Jamaican men mainly from the lower socio economical class lose respect for her. Some men use it to manipulate and control women by hinting that he will tell the John Public of her sexual deviance. Some men go as far as taking pictures of the female and circulating it in order to socially demean, humiliate and bash the female.
Little significance is granted to the sexual activity of oral sex if it is promulgated that a woman does it. Every man she meets expects her to do it to him. Men will chase her for the sheer pleasure of receiving sexual gratification and notoriety from being one more guy on her who knows what she did last night list.


If she refuses to engage for various reasons, she is bashed, disgrace and insulted by her prospective partner who thinks that he is entitled to the performance because it is already public knowledge that she is a “bowers” with little thought that she reserves such sensual provisions for a special individual and not just any random man.
The emotional and sensual connotation of the activity is lessened by other men who now see the woman as being less than ideal and a sexual object, an instrument for masculine gratification.

It has been suspected, speculated and corroborated by some women that artiste that deprecate revile oral sex, engage in the act. Many Jamaican men engage in oral sex but will not public claim that they are into the activity. It may appear that greater import is added to receiving the act without giving back the action. People are far more likely to admit that they have been a recipient than a grantor. Jamaican men are more than likely to admit that they have been a recipient of oral sex than being a giver of the foreplay.