The Jamaican Men We Love to Hate: Narcissist/Egoist

The Men we love to Hate!

The Egoist (Part One)

Complex, obstinate and incomprehensible creatures locked into a world of testosterone driven pride, ego and sensibilities. It’s intriguing how men can charged at an enemy with herculean ferocity and yet hold a woman as tenderly as a baby. These beings are capable of triggering magnitudes of overwhelming emotions in females deeming their reflexes temporarily incapacitated. We love the sound of their baritones, whether it’s a growl or a snarl!

We are enamored with the way that they walk, comport themselves. Our defenses crumble when they stare at us with cocky posterity and ensnare our hearts with irresistible charm and finesses! We find them engaging, we fight for them and in extreme cases we may even kill for them!

We invest time, energy and resources, trying to please them.
Oh how we love them…
Until the trifling, lying, deceptive, conniving, no good bastards break our hearts!

If only I knew the scoundrel was not what he had appeared to be. If only we had a criterion board to identify the dissolution beneath the beguiling armor that we fall haplessly and stupidly in love with.

How many women have beaten themselves over relationship blunders? Wondering how we missed that snicker that we thought was a genuine smile and deluded ourselves into believing that he wanted the house, picket white fence and two kids.

The men that we love to hate come in many varieties. We fall in love easily with them because they epitomizes (externally that is) the very essences of what we are seeking in a man. But beware not all that a glitter is gold and men are excellent actors who will play a role with brilliant histrionics until he gets into your drawers.

Too often we see the warning posts and the red flags and ignore them on the premise that we can change him or maybe he will change because, I am different and he will see the distinctions and fall in love with me. only to have him call ( if he calls at all, men hate confrontations that brings their integrity into question and where they may be judged) and let you know that he is not thinking of marriage, the house in the country and Sunday afternoons on the verandah…if you know what I mean!



Unfortunately, these are men that we women can’t help falling in love with!



First and foremost you have the Egoist!

He is cocky, overbearing and exudes a self confidence that outshines a million cities. He is self assured, ambitious and drives a Mercedes. You admire his aggressive attitude, condescension and arrogance.

he walks into a room he commands authority. His dress code is that of a man who has exquisite taste in fashion and invest time in his wardrobe. He is the type of man you could brag to your friends about, the kind of man that you could move up the social and communal ladder through association. The variant of masculine specimen that will make your friends turn green with envy and your grandmother wishing she was young again. The type that causes you to cower in his presence as you rush like a spooked mouse to please the big feline when he meows!


This man is termed full of himself and rest assure he is highly self centered and care little for others. Realizing that he is at the hierarchy of feminine desires, women are of minimal importance to him because he knows that he can ‘pick, choose and refuse’. A man like this is liable to make you fall in love with him through his graceful charm, orientation and swagger. And then he will dump you with alacrity and ruthlessness!


Most Egoists are Narcissist and are normally verbally abusive and scathing of their partners. Men of this nature are single and their relationship status serving both as a trap for potential partners and a staunch indicator that there has to be a deficiency. There has to be an underlining problem or hidden agenda when a man is aesthetically endowed, ambitious and affluent without a woman by his side. (Don’t be deceived because either he is gay or he is a player, a eunuch or a frigid or he has some other hidden deficits)

These hidden deficiencies range from sexual impotence, sexual insecurity, promiscuity, tyranny, verbal abuse to low self esteem and confidence. A person may exude superiority and confidence on the outside but is very insecure and has a low opinion of their own worth!

Materialism, wealth accumulation and success are measures utilized to mask feelings of substandardness that the Egoist may be experiencing. The Egoist thrives on denigrating and demeaning other so as to highlight the insufficiency in others therefore accentuating his often times enviable and desirable traits.

The Egoist sees women as sub beings to his lordship and mere objects to supply his every sexual and in some cases procreative needs. The Egoist will not pursue a relationship with a woman of his disposition but prefers a female of extreme docility. The submissive, acquiesce female that thrives on giving and who nourishes the Egoist’s ego. Inflating it with her meek and catering character, feeding him until he is obese with egoism

In rare some cases the Egoist does pursue a woman of substance but with the intent of vanquishing her, overhauling her self concept and leaving her male poisoned and miserable. The woman of substance is seen as a challenge to an Egoist, a mountain that needs to be eroded and place flat beneath his footstool. The Egoist will pursue the woman of substance, break her and then discard her!
The Egoist is often a shell with no display of human emotions. He lacks remorse, commiseration and empathy.


The Egoist is unforgivable and unforgettable. He inscribes his face in the annexes of feminine memories with his dual personality. Women find him intrigued and yet trepidated by the Egoist because he can facilitate love and inflict pain. He leaves pain, heart ache and desire in his wake. Women are left befuddled by his behavior.


It is not advisable to continue a relationship with an Egoist. Rest assures that he will destroy you. He will annihilate your sensitivity, plunge you into a chasm of low self worth and pick one’s self continuity away with his noxious character forceps. The Egoist is an emotional opportunist and hurting others is done intentionally without rue.

It does not matter how superlative you are, you will never be sufficed for the Egoist. He cares nothing of others, only catering to himself and his egocentricities.

The Egoist does not give into pleasantries hence the abusive personality and you will never receive an apology from an Egoist. Women find the Egoist attractive because he exudes behavioral characteristics that are refined and enchanting only to discover later that such conducts are fallacies utilized to snatch a desperate and naïve heart

What Jamaican Men need in Relationship

What does a Jamaican man look for in a woman?

Have you ever been with a Jamaican man? Do you often wonder what a Jamaican man is looking for in a potential significant other? Have you ever wondered what turns a Jamaican man off on a date? I did a case study recently using men of all demographics and social status of the Jamaican populace. The research was centered on unearthing what exactly a Jamaican man wants in a woman. Here’s what I discovered!
A Jamaican man falls in love first with his eyes. His interest is piqued if the woman is soft on the eyes in other words she is attractive. He looks her from the legs upwards. A woman will be able to still attract a Jamaican man if she has a curvaceous body and a less than aesthetic face. “In other words Jamaican men no watch no face!” This is more prevalent among men of the lower socio economical status but if you are interested in engaging a guy from the salubrious upper St Andrew Communities then you definitely need to step your game up.
A plain face or curvaceous physique will not be sufficed to filch an executive or some old money hunk. If you want an elite man then you have to bring some education with it in the form of degree and over, prominent position in eminent company or have a household last name. Men from the upper side prefer if a woman brings some form of endorsement with her. Relationships are formed based on social status and the economical contribution that a partner can bring to the liaison. Women see men as development banks, financial institutions that enhance their economical standing and men regard women as great merchandise like his car or his house that he can promenade in front of his friends. Women are seen as trophy and commodities where the highest bidder can purchase. The likelihood of a woman snatching a man from uptown is thin and wide if you are born outside of that class. But do not worry education, five figure income and popularity on the social scene may get you there!
Other that appearances sex is of utmost importance to a Jamaican man. If you are boring in bed as in if you are not a gymnast then you will have a problem with keeping your man. Jamaican men love a woman who has a virgin like vagina. The tighter the passage, the sweeter the ride! No pun intended! But recently there are some men who claim that they would exchange a virgin for a freak any day so I guess the tight vagina is losing its credence. Men prefer if intercourse is interactive. He likes when you tell him what you find desirable in bed and whether or not he is pleasing you. A percentage of men hate it when you give him what he refers to as dead sex. Do not just lie beneath him and squirm, hold him, squeeze him and undulate on him like a snake. Yeah! Laugh out loud! LOL

Age is of some importance depending on the socioeconomical status. Middle class and upper class men prefer their mates to be younger than them and for some by even a decade. Men of the lower class and some lower middle class men had no problem with age as some young men copulate with older women under the premise of maturity and money. A thirty three year old man’s ideal age mate would be between the ages of eighteen and twenty five. This not always the case as not every man looks at age. For some men, age is as the neo relationship therapist would say “just a number! “

Intelligence is tantamount for men who have degrees and certain level of social importance. The ability to have a sound, coherent conversation and extrude cognition is important to people of cerebral importance. No executive wants a mate that he cannot bring to a conference meeting because she will probably want to discuss Vybz Kartel news album than the financial gleaner and Edward Seaga’s theory on the IMF, economies of scale and diminishing returns.
Men essentially need to feel important while women desire connection. At the end of the day most Jamaican men need a wholesome fulfilling relationship where all his needs are being satisfied and met by his spouse. That is the reason why your Jamaican man may cheat on you with a woman who is aesthetically sub standard, she may not be as good looking as you are but she fulfills his need and his desires.

Are Jamaican Men Insecure

Are Jamaican men insecure?

I was browsing online for some inspirations to this topic before I wrote it. I came across many yahoo and wiki questions on the self assurance, confidence and esteem of Jamaican men. I decided that I will look at the factors behind the insecure and jealous nature of some Jamaican men.
Jamaican men were socialized to believe that when his spouse is dedicated and faithful to him that it is a sign of genuine masculine maturity (in my native tongue “him a de man a yard”). But this is simply one side to the equation as many boys are inculcated to believe largely by social inference that a man’s personality and character principles are not sufficient to get a woman furthermore maintain a relationship. The boys are taught that they need money in order to get a woman. They are indoctrinated to believe that without pecuniary influences a woman will not be interested in them. Most men who are financially well off continue to cement this ideology based on the numerous females that they copulate with and have relations with as oppose to their less financially viable lower class counterparts. Men who have money have a lot of girls while the poor man has a one woman or when he gets a girl. Some less wealthy men have to empty their pockets for sometimes a single night of sexual intercourse with a woman. Young men are encouraged to pursue wealth, materialism and superiority so that women will flock them. Women are encouraged investing in their images to get a man while boys are thought to invest in their abilities and hustle to get a woman.
Women also contribute to this notion. Young girls are taught that a man’s value is determined by the depth of his pocket and his material possession. Women often insult men by insinuating or blatantly telling them that they have fallen short on satisfying the financial needs of the family or union. Young women who chose partners that are less than ideal often face opposition from family members and outright disapproval from society for giving her body to a broke “worthless boy”. Women are very intolerant of unfavorable behavior from less than ideal partners but will stand for abuse and misconducts from wealthy men.
Majority of Jamaican males are semi-literate and hold skilled jobs. A great number of Jamaican men are not very intelligent. The lack of education and access to jobs that will greatly improve their financial status stymie social and economical advancement for most young men and buttress insecure feelings about their worth and place in society. The presence of more wealthy men who are capable of snatching their women away is a great fear for many Jamaican men since many of them lack the social and financial resources that society deems makes them an ideal partner.
These conflicting and competitive factors are the reasons behind the perceived jealous and insecure nature of Jamaican men. This insecurity of Jamaican black men also stems from socio historical factors. During the days of slavery, black women were used and sexually exploited by free mulattos and white men because they had power and money. Many black slaves were wary of involvement with fellow female slaves for fear of losing her to white man. The story of lover’s leap in Jamaica is a prime example of this phenomenon. If a white man discovers that a girl he likes is involved with a fellow male slave, the relationship will be terminated by killing the slave, separating the union by selling the male slave or threats of heinous punishment.
In many cases when a young woman leaves a young man in Jamaica it is often due to finding a man that can offer a better financial support. Jamaican men have very fragile egos especially males from the lower socio-economical class. Many well off men also have self esteem problems as they use arrogance and narcissism to mask their sexual and personal self perceived inadequacies. This is the main factor behind their insecurity and jealousy. Sexual underperformance is a major fear for most Jamaican men.
Jamaican men are jealous because they are afraid of losing their women who they see as extensions of themselves. Once a woman has a relationship with a man they are viewed as one within the society, the wife becomes an extension of the husband. Jamaican men fear infidelity because it would be an indication that they are having relational problems. His image and masculinity will be questioned by the society. His friends might think he has sexual or financial inadequacies and therefore that is why his woman cheated on him.
Jamaican men exudes bout of rage and jealousy as a means of manipulating and controlling their spouse. The female is cowered into submission. Some Jamaican men used threats and violence to manipulate the woman into believing she cannot leave him or cheat on him. When a woman cheats on her man, she is telling the world that he does not have any control over her. She has destroyed the ideals that the Jamaican man may have bragged to his friends. She is indicating to the world that their relationship is not solid. The world will think that her man is either sexually inadequate or financially embarrassed.