Jamaican men do not want any good woman!

Remember when you were going to high school and you thought if you had your degree and good job, nice house and great financial prospect that you would be beating eligible men off you with a stick. You would have so many men, good bad and the indifferent vying for your hand in marriage. 

Ratchets would not even be much of a competition with your good education, big bank account and good looks. They could take whatever you did not want and even then your man was in an eternal swing of insecurity for someone as good as you could find someone better at any given time. 

Fast Forward ten years later and you realize that half the men you thought would be swimming the Atlantic Ocean alongside sharks and climbing Mount Everest barefeet to get this worthy woman hand will quickly pass you over for a chick who thinks parliamentarians speak a different language. 

You will quickly find out that wearing your natural hair and sporting a make up free face only attracts less desirable men and not the kind of men you suppose would be remotely interested in someone who was being real and progressive. It might seem to the educated, savvy and " keeping it real women" that men are more into the women who want to party, have sex and get high. 

While this might be the case, the main issue here is that the men who are considered ideal partners are no where near ready to settle down. That is the quandary that most women find themselves in, the guy who is your best is looking for better. As a matter of fact since he is not ready to settle down and he knows that you are looking for a serious relationship and he will stare clear of all women who want ring and babies. 

He will opt for women who can settle for his type of relationships and he is not willing to raise his standards because he is not looking to commit. It is very easy to treat women who are ratchets badly. You do not have to be nice to them for it is public Knowlege what they are about. Men do not have to call back ratchets or pay them any attention for it is an unspoken guy code that women whose reputations are compromise get the shitty end of the stick and I mean literally. 

It is not that these Jamaican do not want a good woman, they are just not ready to committ or settle. The ideal Jamaican man is like a child in a toy store. He sees too many women he wants, older women, younger women and teenagers. Why will he settle for you when he can have fifty others? Some men do not even know how to treat, regard and deal with a good woman. In that case please forgive them. 

What should the woman who want a good man do after she has worked hard to achieve and considers herself deserving of an ideal man. Should she just throw the towel in and settle for a compromised ideal or should she wait until ideal men grow up, have erectile dysfunction or some terminal illness? Some men are lifetime bachelors and they will never settle, they might even marry but they always have another girl. 

The strong independent woman might have to reevaluate her relationship needs. Maybe she needs to go over that checklist. She knows that half the wistful romantic notions she embraced are only in a bubble. Maybe it is time to pop that bubble open. 

Getting over Your Man Crushes and the Fairy Tale Complex

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.People are consistent with who they want to be consistent with. It’s as simple as that...

People sometimes complain that my books are a little bit too melodramatic, that females cry too much and i often create basic male characters with little development. I told a lady recently that i wrote books for the woman who some man caused emotional distress by telling her she was not good enough. I wanted to build real life heroines who've been through it all and still came out stronger that before who refused to be broken by love's sting. I want women to go back to a place of empowerment instead of enduring long term emotional burn from the men who turn their heads away from their advances.

I once had a crush on a younger man, i believe i liked the idea of him and not necessarily who he was because i did not know him. It was more of a fantasy. He represented something more deeper and sinister than i was ever inclined to admit. Sometimes i look at him and i would think he is ugly or his wardrobe is unattractive, i loathed the way he carried himself like a thug but he was a doppelgänger for my dead cousin. I had always admired him from a distance until i got a friend suggestion from Facebook and recognized him. I added him in pique curiosity as to associating with this human being who reminded me so much of a loss loved one.

He was courteous at first and when i told him the reason why i added him, he was polite and said he heard that several times. He like most young men within a working class setting with a little money harboured these warped sense of entitlement and a distorted notion of irresistibility. The more i entertained him, the more he surfaced aspects of his personality that i noted were serious deterrents. He was very much still a child and we were polar opposites.

I was not looking for a relationship, i saw no future in our association. He was not the kind of person that i could take places with me and yet my interest in him somehow translated along the lines of something bigger than himself. I made a pact with myself several years ago not to date men from my "Ghetto" community not because i think i am superior to them but because i have been frustrated too many times by trying to educate, impress and validate them. These men complain that intellectual women are arrogant and dismissive and yet they often chase them away with their indecorous behavior.

But did he chase me away or was i all along mispercieving his courtesy as interest. How can you say someone is interested in you when he never calls, he has never offered his number, he has visited your backyard ten times per week and has never once requested a date with you and if you do not text him then he doesn't text you. He might think i am probably stupid but i am not, these teenage battles that women grapple with in their understanding of male behaviour does not go away with age and they become even more intense when you really like or you are infatuated with someone. I am a date doctor, i do not miss hints. These are the same pointers i pontificate on my sites daily. Why would a disinterest by a fairly attractive, average intelligent and well adjusted teenage boy miss me. I wanted to wring the situation for what it worth and see how long it would take before his unsavory side emerged and it did not take long.

I tell a woman that when she is not getting the attention she seeks from a man it is never primarily because he wants to hurt her feelings but he is basically doing what he knows best. His response is intuitive, involuntary without intent, he is not interested and men do not have time to play and pretend. Their range of interest is very limited so if he is not interested he cannot afford to invest even a one second text to say hi to you. That is the kinda of currency you judge a man by. What he is willing to do to get to you. If he is not doing anything then he is not worth your stock.


I made this story apart of my new book on Relationships dubbed " The Fairy Tale Complex" to emphasize the meaning of having your feelings grounded in reality than on some fantasy. In hindsight there was nothing in this young man's behavior that signalled an interest in me. I was mainly frustrated, angry and resentful of him for treating me with blatant disregard. I realized that he didn't do anything to me. I did it to myself by seeing a tree and thinking it is a forest.

Grown women do mess up for love and emotions are turbulent feelings that we sometimes have fragile influence over. We will in our impassioned state forget that we have limited control over other people's feelings, we can only direct our own.Do not feel bad about it. It is a testament to our humanity and not something to be ashamed of. Even your love interest at some point in their lives, have loved people who did not return their affection. Your feelings my be unique to you but it happens everyday. Do not sweat it.

"I don't want you if you only want me for yourself. Sometimes you think you like someone but what you really like is the idea of them, what they represent , a figment of a fantasy. To find out if your affections are grounded in reality. Take a step back and allow destiny to take its course."

I went through a Fairly Tale Complex moment, one i have not done for a long time in my life. A male friend responded when i asked for his input that " Young men like to chase, not being chased". I could not understand these games.If you like someone and you cannot be honest and vulnerable with that person then who are you suppose to show your softer side to. I concluded that if you someone rebuffs your affections then that person was not meant for you. You cannot want someone who does not want you. You cannot force someone to like you.

I won't deny that a snide rejection, blatant or underhand by a man even the ones we think are beneath us will not rattle our confidence. You are human and it is perfectly okay to grieve for what could have been. A recipe for being bitter and anti-interactive around other men is to hold on to the resentful feelings you endured by the your admirer's recant. Weeep, lock your self inside your house for a few days and lick your wounds. When you feeling better, get out there and get back into the game. Boss Chicks do not react, they simply replace.

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Ten Things Your Mother Should Have Told You About Dating (Jamaica Date Doctor Series Book 2)

Ten Things Jamaican women Wish Jamaican Men Knew

Ten Things Jamaican Women wish Jamaican Men Knew 

 When i collated the article "Ten Things Jamaican Men wish Jamaican women knew about Relationships", It was meant to be a satire piece.Most people missed the sarcasm because they were so upset with the suggestions made by these Jamaican men who i will say represent the average Jamaican male. They missed the disclaimer about not all Jamaican men share these views. Let us put this one in bold. 

These are the opinions of some Jamaican women and does not reflect the ideologies of all Jamaican women. They are not facts, the article is not meant to conquer or convert but to inspire discussion so we can come at truth. In doing so we will get the facts out. 

 1. Jamaican women know that when a man says he wants an independent woman, he does not really mean he wants a woman who can complement his financial position. Some women are of the opinion that these men really want a woman to supplement their lives economically. "Them want smady fe mind them". Additionally a Jamaican man will take the "independent woman" money and "mine" some woman who cannot help him. He will take your car and go out with women who cannot buy gas put in it. Jamaican women say that they are wising up to this "con" and are only independent for their own subsistence. They have no intention of "minding" any big man. 

 2. Women like Oral sex, Women know you like it too. You just do not want your friends to know you like it or do it but the women say that is okay, they will keep the secret for you. 

3. When a Jamaican woman says she wants to go on a date. She means she would like to at least go to a social setting where you can have a few drinks and talk, get to know each other. A date is not in your bedroom demanding sex. These men nowadays do not want to date anymore, when they call and ask for you to meet with them, they would like to know straight off the bat if "you ago run some". Some will find some way to postpone the date if they do not hear what they want to.Some women flat out lie and tell them yes. Women say they would like to go on date therefore when a man is 'looking' a woman, please prepare for at least one date. 

4. In the dating phase when a woman text, call or Whatsapp you, it is because she likes you. A woman will pursue a man she likes and if he is interested then he is expected to mirror her interest to establish some form of consistency. It does not means she is desperate or she is being clingy. 'She just like you'. 

5. When a woman is willing to spend her hard earn money on you, it is not because she is a fool. It is because she loves you and wants you to be happy. If she can afford to she will buy her man anything to make his life convenient so that he can be at his best. There is no greater joy that when the one you love is happy and stress free. When a person is happy, they have more fulfilling relationships. Women in Jamaica and within the diaspora complain that if you "assist" some Jamaican men "they take you for a fool". It is ironic that men do not see themselves as "fools" when they spending thousands of dollar on some chick who sleeps with them every other month. 

6. Most women have never had an orgasm. Most men do not have a clue about fulfilling sex. A lot of women stick around because they love you or the idea of you not because of how good you are in the bedroom. Most men do not even cuddle, "Slam, Bam, Thank You Madam" The caveman tactics in bed does not always work and men insist that women find creative ways to maximize pleasure and yet they come as they are, thinking that great sex only requires an erect penis. The gist is that a woman can still feel sexually satisfied without an orgasm.  Too many men coming into the bedroom with sexual expectations and not bringing any prowess to the bed. Dance hall music convinced our men that their pleasure was more important than female satisfaction. These men will gladly say a 'vagina" was not good when in truth they just lay down on them back expecting great sex. 

7. "Old Fire stick easy fe Ketch" Hmmmmm. In some instances that might be not be entirely accurate. Some men feel that because you had sex with them one time then they can always get it from you whenever they like. Women are saying that when they throw water on the fire stick, no amount a gasoline can make it light back. Some men think that because a woman has a child with him he is still entitled to sex, women are standing their ground. If she broke up with you, she breaks all ties with you.

8. Do not see a woman on the road and harass her. If she is interested she will let you know. A grown man knows when a woman likes him from when she does not. Do not think you can convince her to like you by harassing her with "Pssssst", insulting her or manhandling her in public. She will hate you with a passion and you ruin any chances you might ever have with her.

9. Men will insist that a woman keeps up her physical appearance and yet he will gain weight, grow his hair and facial hair without any complains from his partner.  Women are saying men should try to keep in shape and maintain physique. Women do not like the beer belly but a woman loves differently from man. She will stay with him if he has eighty percent of what she needs and in (a Jamaican man case, if he has fifty percent of what she needs in a relationship), some women settle for far less. Men on the other hand want perfection well women are saying they want men with an impeccable body including a good size penis, good job, money and the whole works. 

10.We are in a relationship with you and not your friends or your family members. It is full time men learn how to tell their mothers, sisters and female cousins to respect their partners even if they do not like them. Friends who are still bachelors must learn to respect their males friends who are in a relationship. Please tell your friends do not show up at late hours of the night asking you to go clubbing when they know that you are now a family man. A man has to compromise in a relationship just as he expects a female to make sacrifices. A lot of men will insist that an in-law that they do not like does not come around his house and yet his family visit when they feel like and disrespect their women to their faces. A man will demand that his wife does not maintain friendship with women of questionable character and yet he keeps his promiscuous male friends and goes out with them on a regular basis. Women are saying cut the double standard. 

 Name some other points you think Jamaican men should know about women and relationships!

Quote :“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie"

 

When Evil rears it's ugly head?

Remember this for those heads still in the clouds... Security is a superstition  and safety is blanket of illusion. You are only as safe to the extent that others can tolerate your existence. Most of us are only pawns in this big game of power struggle. Anything can happen at anytime.

#RIP Malaysian Plane crash Victims

Evil does not need a reason to read its ugly head. Evil is will consume you, point you out unbidden, unprovoked and unincited, decide to overthrow you without rhyme or reason. Evil lives power and the weight of supremacy is only measured in blood. Death is the only currency of any value. 

You could commit an infraction against a man and regardless of how much you offer to pay to have that offence expunge, he might demand payment in blood. Nothing appeals more to the wicked like the devaluation or desecration of what a human being holds sacred... Their life... 

How many of us will perish because of what others believe? It's strange how other mortals who value their lives often find it convenient to take the lives of another. 

Let Go: Relationships

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. You all need to have the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to . . . . . . . .

Romeo Graham 

Encourage collective success and not competition among our children

People think about life mainly from a self perspective but I see life for what it is collectively.  Like when we were children and our parents encouraged our individual success above all else, ingraining a notion that our achievements were about conquest and hierarchy instead of liberation and  societal advancement. 

I once told a mother that it would be disadvantageous to my daughter to encourage her to be the best and wish failures upon my neighbour's child. You see even if my daughter becomes a doctor, who would teach her children? Who

Would handle her money and finances? Who would protect her when she sleeps? Who would negotiate with other countries to secure products that she cannot produce locally? Who is gonna put out the fire in case your child's house burns down? If my child becomes a doctor and yours become a gun man then my child will have to build fortresses to keep your child out! Life is fairly interconnected. 

Encourage collective success among our children and not competition because your child will need other professionals along with themselves to create our future societies. They cannot do it on their own. We know what happens when we have a country of " dunces". Do not encourage this notion. Encourage our children to study in groups and build success among their peers so that we can have a better Jamaica. 

_Crystal Evans 

Children of the Jamaican Working Glass 

©Crystal Evans Book Club 

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Jamaican Women: Are you ready to date?

 If a man is not engaged, married, or in a long time serious relationship, his eggs are in other baskets, ensuring that if you misbehave, we can freely move on to the next bitch basket, without heartbreak or depression. For example, when you break up with your “exclusive, but not official” boo of six months; you cry and stress to the point of being physically sick because you were 100% invested in that man who suckered you into a half-ass relationship. That same man you’re broken up about will be a sad, but he will be fine in a week or two. It’s not because that man is cold-hearted, it’s because he didn’t invest 100% in your stock. He was 40% into you, 20% into his ex who he was still fucking, 15% into the new crush he’s been trying to pull off Instagram, and he kept the last 25% reserved in case he meets a new chick off Tinder. Relationships end every day, and men can’t afford to be left emotionally bankrupt over a girl he was only half-sure about in the first place.

Borrowed from Blackgirlsareeasy.com

So your entire childhood was shaped by a shadow background of lower conscious need to find the perfect man. It probably started when you were somersaulting over the tyres on the ground at the kindergarten school and saw some light skin curly hair kid with a snotty nose that appeared super appealing to your eyes. You didn't really understand the concept of sex but for some reason you knew you wanted to be exclusive with this person. Fast forward twenty years later, you are still attracted to curly hair men in Range Rovers with an impressive social clout but they are as unattainable as diamonds. 

Having a vagina, good skin and great hair (even if you bought it) does not guarantee that some guy will commit to you. It might sound harsh but it is the reality of the situation. Men are not what we think they are, they are not as woosy as romantic novels and cinemas portray them. 

So before you continue to throw your ass around at every man who slows his mechanical chariot beside you on the sidewalk,you need to first do a self evaluation, you need to assess whether or not you are ready for dating. Do you think that you have what it takes to get a commitment from an alpha male? 

The truth about wealthy men, popular men and dudes with swag is that they won't settle for a girl with just pussy, sounds harsh but that is the reality of the situation. 

Consider this that every year, a new set of girls leave high school with flat bellies, elastic vaginal muscles than don't need Kegel exercises and the zeal of youth that most men find alluring. Imagine you having to compete with them, youth reduces as you age and you like them at thirty have nothing to offer a man but your vagina? How will a man love you when he can get what you have to offer a dime a dozen from a litany of young women parading, near naked on the road every afternoon. 

Think about it! There is absolutely nothing distinct about you that will warrant this guy in the Range Rover's attention. It would be easier he dates a young girl without the attendant children and financial demands. You know there is a reason why men ask you how many babies you have when they meet you. They want to know how much you are worth and how much he might have to invest in a relationship with you. If he is a guy who shirks responsibility then he will in and out the door before you can say " I have two kids". 

Men judge you by how many children you have because they want to measure your past lifestyle. Two children and two different fathers spells you kinda reckless with your sexuality if they are only a year a part. Kids are not the only factor that men judge you by. Many men consider your hairstyle. 

How can you expect to attract a in a BMW if you have in a hairpiece that has three neon colours. He is gonna think: 1) you working at a circus or 2) you a dancehall chick. Nothing is wrong with a dancehall chick or a barmaid but how many barmaids do you know who get corporate executives and surgeons to marry them. It clearly doesn't work like that. If being skinny with Brazilian hair was all a woman needed to snag a rich man then we would not have the pervasive, unswerving ideology among Jamaican women that good men are hard to find. It's not that good men are not hard to find granted our young men are becoming an endangered species but that most women got it all wrong when it comes to attracting a man. 

Our mothers taught us a few tricks from Ratchetpedia but we should be smart enough to learn from our mothers mistake knowing that she only managed to get men to stick around until they impregnated her and now she's spending the rest of her life alone. So the average Jamaican girl learns from a mother who barely knows the basic of the playbook on how to get a rich guy to exclusively commit.  We spend our lives believing the slut appeal can get a man to love us so we wear see through clothes, batty rider shorts and the most revealing clothing in our quest to ensnare men. 

Back to this hairstyle business. Men are not suppose to be judge mental but they are because in order for a man to like you enough to pursue a relationship with you, you have to get him to look at you first and foremost. Nikki Z and Miss Kitty can wear a shaved head with zig zags cut into it and redhair and still get a surgeon shelling out big bucks for a dinner with them but the average girl on the street is seen as either a GoGo, prostitute or barmaid. It is unfair but that is the reality. There is a difference between what is and what aught to be....

The man in the BMW with a degree thinks differently from the scammer dude in a Honda. Scammer dude might wife a girl with red and yellow streaks in her hair because his small minded ess and lack of refine values precludes him from changing his basic appreciation of women. A guy with a masters degree would never bring a multicolored hair girl to his business conference but he might take her out to some seedy go go club or KFC, he knows his friends will look at him differently and not only that but his exes and immediate family might wonder if he has gone mad. 

He might have no problem sharing his dick with you, it does not mean you will get to know his family and his friends. Not that girls who look like ratchets don't get millionaires to marry them, but those girls are the exception to the rule and not the rule. If you live for the five percent who accomplished an ideal man looking like spike lee, then you are in for some serious free falls... I mean literally. Any girl can get any guy to fuck her at the most basic level. 

How many men will you have to go through until you find Mr. Ideal is clearly up to you. In this dating frontier you gotta know who to cut lose and whom to ditch without a second thought. Have you ever thought about how easy it is for a guy to be all over you in one day and completely out of touch the next, it is because men make up their minds faster than women do. A woman has to learn to decide which men are worth risking it with, which other men are not to see where she pee. This does not guarantee you from making bad decisions and sleeping with men who are more tight on their games and can trick you into bed. But with each candidate you learn from them and you move on without resentment, opening yourself to knew experience, never forgetting the past and holding steadfastly to a hopeful relational future. 

No legalisation of Abortion in Jamaica

This has always been my opinion on this issue and it is I fear that women will use a legal abortion status as a contraceptive. So people will just get pregnant and throw babies away at whim. I mean Jamaican clinics have a free contraceptive programme why can't our women use it? Then we have the plan Bs and postinors yet we are still having unwanted pregnancies. Abortion legalisation will only increase this lack of accountability and recklessness among our young people. Sex comes with consequences. I believe our current " unwanted children situation can only be remedied by education and reform thinking among our people and not by more contraceptives and counterceptives methods.

Imagine you have sex with somebody and it doesn't work out but you get pregnant and you decide to have an abortion. Sex comes with responsibility like any other behavior in life, we should strive to make good choices and wise decisions. 

I can't understand some women because I would never have sex with somebody I don't know that well or have an assurance of a permanent relationship with, without a condom. But life is not perfect and we make mistakes so take the morning after pill. Live your life with accountability. 

What if our parents chose to get an abortion, then where would we have been, you are not ready to bring a child into this world then have protected sex or take a contraceptive, it is that easy. There is no bandaid method to put over our recklessness. 

Women are having abortions albeit it is illegal, and we have heard the term " dash way too much belly"  many a times to know that abortion won't prevent a woman from making the same mistakes over and over again. 

A lot of our men use abortion like a fail safe method, so the girl claims she is pregnant and he offers her money for an abortion because he is not ready for a child, has too many already or sincerely does not want a permanent relationship with her. He can always abort pregnancies therefore he sleeps with as many women as he feels entitled to and then they abort pregnancies. How msny young men I hear saying " a nuff belly gyal dash weh fe me eenuh". Imagine what would happen if abortion was legalized... 

 

You should not be having sex with anyone you wouldn't want to have a child with period... 

Jamaica Date Doctor Volume ii

When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I wrote the Jamaica Date Doctor Series Volume One. I dated men for their impressions and not for who they really were. I had my head stuck in a harlequin husband chase. I wanted anyone who looked like my ideal fantasy. 

I dated men for what they represent, I was attracted to the idea of them and irrespective of the way they made me feel, the various red flags they exhibit, I would entertain them until the pretense had run its course. 

When a woman grows up she thinks differently, she realizes that it's more important to date someone that makes you feel loved and worthy, than to waste your time with a person just for social gratification. When we are young we are mostly interested in how we will look in the eyes of others when we choose a partner. 

We choose men the very same way we choose our clothing as teenagers. Best boyfriend for the most enhanced social experience. 

Real relationships are not as easy as they appear in books or in movies. They take work. Ninety percent of men already know if they will take you on as a lifelong partner within the first five minutes of speaking with you. 

Dating is a game and the slickest person wins. Men know we want a perfect partner and some of us wants money. So they will do anything including pretending to be the perfect man or to be rich to get into our panties. 

Men don't care if you hate him after he has fucked you and ducked you because he was never working for you to like him. He does not care about your feelings because he did not care in the first place to begin with. It is no use trying to make a man love you who decided from

The first give minutes that he was going to " take a one slap outta you" and move on. 

The writings are on the wall. Men have not mastered the art of emotional pretense, therefore if it looks like the man is not that into you, he probably isn't. Men who are up to no good always give off hints in their behavior or regards, it's up to smart girls to pick up on them and know when to out their feet to the sand and run. 

They go fooling yourself by having sex with him in hopes that he will like your good coochie and stick around. A man will take whatever you have to give and still diss you on a heartbeat. Once a woman gives up the sex, she has nothing bargain with, she is down several cards, she can't deal no hand, she has to take whatever she is dealt and hope for the best. 

Woman Scorned: Excerpt from Book

Love is an elusive emotion. You can't help it. It just happens, unexpected, unbidden. It is like a disease, a drug additive, constant and obsessive. Our reaction to someone we like is fascinating, intricate and confusing. Our angst about love and relationship is tied to our fantasies and ideation of what being in love is and suppose to be like. 

We might not admit it but we all have a checklist in our head of what we are looking for in a partner. We want that other half that we believe completes us. It is this mode of thinking that opens a trap door for obsession and addiction to love or the idea of being in love. Love is a powerful

Drug. A lovelorn woman's lover is a drug addict looking for a next fix. The slightest comment, look or embrace triggers a state of euphoria sending doses of dopamine into the blood stream. 

This explains why it is very difficult almost unlikely for a woman crazily in love with a man to be able to resist the temptation to call him, to seek out that "cocaine like high" we all experience in a new relationship.

And like the literally drug addiction, a high is often followed by an abysmal low. The perverse magic and materiality of love is a timeless obsession since the beginning of our existence. It is this unmerited, offhand feeling that makes a simple quirk of the lips or upward tilt of the eyebrows unmistakably sensual. 

Love lends an inimitable pleasure to the deep baritone of a man's voice, a seductiveness to the power of his leg strides and a breathtaking aura to his presence. Love transforms the growls, snarls and grrrrrrr of a man's voice into the sexiest attribute. You either have it or you don't!!! 

Love transcends the simplest of gestures into something extraordinary. Eyes that once behold the world become Windows's to ones soul, limpid pools of pleasure, glances of indiscretions and light feathery touches sending tingles from skin to bone. Your entire body awakens, fluids rushing into places and sensational sounds emits from ones lips involuntarily. 

When you fall in love. You unknowingly place your happiness at the mercy of another's companionship. Those who say otherwise, have only skipped cross the raggedy terrains of love in a parachute and from the other side -beckon you to come across its steep landscape barefeet. 

Lessons Learn in the Jamaican Ghetto Life

The Buddha asserts that in every experience holds a blessing that one just needs to find it. 

It was last night, I was remembering a time when I was really broke. I went to a friend's house early in the morning and asked for a borrows to go hustle on the road. My friend told me that she would check me as soon as I get home. I waited the entire day and my alleged friend never turned up. 

An epiphany struck me at the end of the day because I managed to survive that day without the money I wanted to borrow. In my mind asking for that money was irrelevant in the first place because I did not get and still manage to survive that day without it. I never borrowed or begged anyone anything again. 

If god can provide for the birds and the animals much less me a macroscopic organism created as claimed by chacurist in his very own image.That is how I lived my life since. Committed to the belief that god will provide. 

I have another friend of recent who we were discussing my HYIP Fund.  He told me that he would give me a 100 dollars USD to invest for him. The next day. He reneges on his intent and told me he had several bills to cover. That was under stable and so i let it go. Now what I found rather irritating and downright unconscionable is that the same person would like me to invest a quarter million dollars now in a hedge fund. This person could not invest ten grand with me but wants me to invest quarter million with him. Something was awfully wrong here. 

The problems in our society can easily be fixed if we become less of a selfish people. I have discovered that people are largely about themselves. Nobody wants to lose their money and nobody wants to lose their time doing any ground work. Everyone wants guarantees and every thing " ready done". 

Don't they think for a moment that there were not people out there who wished they had invested in bill gates ideas before he became a billionaire. I know there must a be a lot of people who missed out on great opportunities because they transferred the doubts they have in their own abilities onto others, making them insecure about the capabilities of others. They missed out on a big opportunity to own a good amount of shares in Microsoft. 

I have heard many old people talk about when land was being sold for hundred and thousand dollars. They often rue not buying many more because they never assumed the value of land would escalate this astronomical. 

People with money would share  with those whom they feel threatened by. There are many people with money who if you should beg them, they won't give it to you but will very quickly hand over thousands of a dollars being an ingrate to someone important or to some dude who might stick a gun in their face. 

Now I understand clearly the point the commissioner makes about illicit money funding crime. I've observed that scammers would rather "pay dues" to individuals who create mayhem and murder than give a woman with a hungry child a thousand dollars. That within itself is a harsh reality. Money in the hands of fool will only brook chaos. 

These young men in the ghetto who make money through illegal activities, god probably knew why they were not born in money. 

Imagine that a lot of them would rather pay extortion money to some murderer and criminal whilst the people who live around them live in poverty. You can't even beg them a thousand dollars and get it. What does that tell you about the way that they think? 

Gussy would never turn away a hungry child or a mother in need. He was probably born the wrong place. I see the son of a governor get a scant wake and grave digging considering the fact that he is wealthy and important. Gussy, the child of a street side seller and a promiscuous father who deserted him from he was a preschooler received a historical celebration of life. Your life should be an inspiration to others. 

There is nothing wrong with the universe because it always restores life to its tantric balance. I see a mother through arbitration denied another mother to right bury her child who died in an accident on a plot of land because they wanted money for it and some ongoing dispute. 

I remember going to see the mother and hear her leave a voice message for the opposing family after they stopped taking calls from her. She said, tears steaming down her face " a hope none a unoo pickney no dead". She cried so hard that morning. 

People can be truly heartless. But in the midst of wickedness, the wicked always forget that they too have a fragile existence. They don't spend enough time rationalizing hence they make irrational decisions. As the powers that maybe will have it. The opposing mother's son died three months later. He was electrocuted at his work place.  I have every confidence in god or the power of the universe or whatever one might call it. Not one bad deed had gone unpunished in this Universe. 

I believe fixing this country is easy. Get rid of this personal ambition quest For superiority and start thinking about our collective interest. What's the sense you get rich and then you have to build fortress to keep the beggars out.

Agrarian societies were more peaceful. Capitalism has only fueled a materialistic world and egoism.

Jamaicans and Education

Education Saved the Little Boy's Dreams

The mere imparting of knowledge does not guarantee that one will become educated. Many black men are exposed to education but growing majority do not reflect characteristics of an educated cache. Education must cover all aspect of human life for it to be truly effective. An education system devoted to a notion of preparing a few from the paucity of society to become wealthy will never transcend any country. 

It has become clear that teaching kids to get out of poverty is not assisting in establishing and reinforcing morals and values in our society. It simply creates a group of people , well spoken, literate and certified who are of no benefit to the uneducated mass they came from. They perpetuate the notions of condemnation by seeking to distant themselves from the lower class. Even those who pursue politics do so not to liberate the masses or improve their conditions but to auspice their own personal ambitions. 

Education is regarded as an avenue, a rite of passage for social upliftment. A chance to change one's economical status, education transforms but it does not develop. It is for that reason we end up with a society of graduates looking to be hired slaves than entreprenuers,  innovators and inventors. They should be creating employment for the skilled, underqualified and üntrained populace instead the educated competes with the less qualified individuals for scarce jobs. It creates a Job Flation where employers underpay certified individuals and one's qualification devalues as you are forced work side by side with practically less trained personells.

We have been clamoring for years for a social intervention for our boys. Young men need special attention and are often uninitiated in how they should handle day to day conflicts that will arise amongst themselves. This lack of direction underpins the growing crime situation where young men resort to violence to resolved squabbles. 

Jamaican Attitudes: Gossips and Rumours

I remembered how Brother Man described the tongues clacking in the street. It was an illustration of the power of wind moving across vocal chords. Humans have built kingdoms and destroyed nations simply by using their mouth. 

The Ghetto is no different. Mouth kill cock is a popular adage among elders in the Ghetto. It is a place where contriving stories, spreading lies and permeating gossip can land you in a coffin. People embrace a philosophy that if a story don't go so then it near fe go so. It's a profound perspective that rumours and gossip are half truths. News spreads like wildfire. 

Bars, trees, restaurants  and grooming parlours  are havens for replaying and embellishing the life stories of others. Tragedies are recounted with amusement and every story, regardless of how grisly or tragic is verbalized with colorful  characterization. 

The tongue is a venomous weapon. Its serpentine appearance is consistent with the poisonous utterances that often flickers off its pink exterior. 

Within the cackle of malignance, there are always voices of reason. People who are dedicated to teaching, healing and helping with the aid of their tongue unlike others whose main concern is creating drama. 

People who use their mouth too much never quite understand the effect that blathering away can have on any society. Many a men have died because of things others have said, sometimes  innocently and others deservingly. The tongue is as lethal as any tangible weapon on this earth. 

Our Modern Day Crucifixion of the Innocent

So as the days wind down to Gussy's Funeral. I am of a contrite spirit. His death has forced me to question my own mortality and how fickle life here on earth is. You here one minute and you gone the next. I didn't exist before my birth and it will be as if I never existed after I die. It makes me question what is man's purpose for living if he has to die? Are we just living to die?  Everytime I remember when at Dwayne Badwud funeral he was saying to Mario Gomez that he hated the ambience after a funeral, the boredom and expressed that it was the same way he felt after his sister "mum" died. It makes me wonder if Gussy had premonitions about his death. He also made preparations for his unborn child and was putting businesses together for the future of his family. It is disheartening, infuriating and a gaping irony that he was killed by members of the police force when they are so many who have never done anything for this community. Are wicked people winning and good people dying? It has many young men thinking it betta them be a bad boy and police kil them than to be a good guys like Gussy and Badwud and die before you time...police officers don't always get psychogic impact that they want when they kill a man, they might intend to instill fears in others but only as the facts show create more hardened criminals. 

We will never be completely rid of the scourge of violence because acts of violence often begets more violence. Murder is murder regardless of whose perspective we see it from. I know one thing is true whether it happens when I die or while I am alive. This earth, the universals laws and tantric energy of our world, a supreme being or intelligence, god or whatever nomenclature we attach to the power that often restores this world through maintaining the Karmic Balance. 

I have never known anyone who meted out cruelty of evil to another human being and prosper. I am confident not by religious fervour, conjectures or anecdotes but a first hand experience that what goes around will ultimately come back around. 

I have seen many "wicked" people fall but my only concern is how many of us will have to suffer or die before they extinguished. 

One of the greatest handicap of humanity is our quest to conquer death and end suffering. Why is suffering such a big issue when human beings themselves bring despair upon their own brethren. What we probably need to vanquish is selfishness and Egoism. 

People often encourage wars and murder because its benefits their own agendas. We need to seek goals that collective benefits a community than just the desires of an elected few or armed subgroup. 

I can safely say that the Officer that shot my cousin did not foresee the future or probably he did. Some people will say that my cousins association says a lot about the values that he embraces. I do not know about what is going on in my cousins head, I do not try to assume, I simply judge Jermaine Foote by his actions and is kind gesture. His commitment to shedding off the impoverished circumstances he was conceived in and rebuilding his community through providing jobs for young people. I remembered he said," you see when that pool bar finish, every Sunday we ago play pool" . He was killed the next morning.

Gussy is a dreamer and he by means unknown to me became someone that dreamers could come to and get resources to furnish their dreams, farmer raising pigs or the bar maid who wants to open her own bar. He was never a man to turn away a viable idea. He was committed to the auspicious development of his community. He was seen by many as a "rising don". A name he never endorsed but as they say in the ghetto that if them don't kill you with guns, they will surely murder you with your mouth. 

When I look at the crowd at his grave cleaning up day, or the impenetrable crowd at his grave digging,  understood the tentacles of his influence upon this community. I sensed why some people might become trepidation by his rising powers. After all he's from nowhere and his family is poor, uneducated and without social clout. He's not somebody important. When I hear the lies that those who swore to serve, protect and reassure concoct to justify the murder of my cousin and leave his unborn child without a father,I look to the heavens and cry to our supreme being, wondering why does he stand aside and allow Gussy to die. 

Those who judge Gussy are like the Romans who crucified Jesus with the two theives. Jesus was not guilty of a crime but in this society if those with the powers believe that you are a threat to their statusquo they will find reasons to eliminate you. Jesus was killed like a criminal just as how they gun down Gussy with the theives.  Jesus death, Marcus Garvey, Martin Luther king and so many others have taught me that none of us even when we are committed to righteousness, redemption of the oppressed masses or social reformation are exempt from death if those who are in power consider us a threat to their own agendas. 

JahVinchi says " give to the poor them say me a don, me fe turn in". Does that mean that if I decide to host a charity for poor people I become a target for the police? Why? When I am doing what politicians should be doing for our communities? I think there are some entities who have a misconception of who the enemies really are. Or is this just a strategy to keep poor people and their aspirants for change cowered in fear. 

I keep wondering who takes care of the children whose parents are murdered? Who will be responsible for Gussy unborn baby boy? This is a chilling factor in our fight against crime and violence. It's evident that the orphaned children of violence often grow up to be menaces to society due to feelings of resentment and ire towards society. 

Everytime I look at Miss Madge, tears well up in my eyes when I remember seeing her with the crocus bags hustling to go sell clothes on the road side or CudJoe pushing handcart to help mama send Gussy, Killa, Foote and Vivieene to school. Or the kids whose father ran away left them since they were in elementary schools. If Gussy dad passed him on the road he probably would not recognize him. For him to die now, it simply means everything he has been through in his life, the heartache and the poverty was simply not worth it. 

How illegal activities shape the Jamaican Society?

Some people think scamming is a bad thing. People in the Jamaican ghetto will tell you that scamming has done more good than harm to their lives.

They will say that they would rather our young men scam some unsuspecting stranger than stick up them with guns and take away the little that they have. 

The promotion, endorsement or even embracing of scamming has nothing to do with morality, but everything to do with survival. 

The endorsement, glorification and toleration of illicit activities on the Ghetto has nothing to do with morality. It has everything to do with survival. 

How can you question a man about his values when the notion is not a staple. He cannot eat values. But if he finds a way wherein he can feed his family then he will not be moved by scruples to overlook that prospect. 

Some people might argue that nothing that was begotten out of wrongdoing will ever prosper. Ghetto people, black people will countermand by insisting that superpower economies were built on the blood and sweat of black people yet we have not seen destiny returning life to its Karmic balance by punishing them for enslavement. 

They believe from experience that only good people get hurt,stepped on and abuse. Police don't abuse people with money. Look at politicians, they have been exploiting the coffers of poor people's money for years and yet no one had ever held them accountable. I hear Mutabaruka call it scamming. 

Politicians a scam poor people, police a scam people, bank tellers a scam people. Mutabaruka emphasize that all the educated people in Jamaica turn scammer. With no jobs, they use their creative energies to make money to subsist themselves. 

What really pisses poor people off is when the people who tell them not to do this or that would never offer a helping hand. A beggar is socially spurned, a gun man venerated and feared. 

The Big Idea Funding Network was created to give young people with brilliant ideas and opportunity to realize their dreams by having people pooling money together. I'd prefer if a thousand  Jamaicans invested a thousand dollars on a project worth a million dollars than one Jamaican fretting about his 20,000 dollars that he invested. 

I was recently selling a property, a big acreage and someone asked me why didn't I get some of my "moneyed friends" to buy the property as an investment. I told him two things that made him laugh and shook his head. 1. People don't invest money with people who look poorer than them because they believe you will Nyam them out. Two people prefer to invest in an institution than a person. 

I  am not an advocate of earning money through illicit means but I am not a novice to the idea that the worlds wealthiest earn money by spilling blood. Most rich people's wealth is dabbled somewhere in a past mired in exploitation or harm of another person. It is a cut throat world.