What Tommy Lee is doing to our Young Men!

I would be a liar if I said that I was not intrigue by Tommy Lee Sparta lyricism,his fixation with morbidity and graphic detailing of crime and violence has given me much insight into the minds of our young SHOTTas.

Tommy Lee Sparta did not begin this connection between dance hall music and violence but he has taken it to a different level. Tommy Lee augments the glorification of the gun, he purports killing as if it is a superior artistic elemental that only youths of a certain; a not easily attainable calibre can commit. The grimmer the death experience is for the victims, the better, he sensationalizes the connection between criminality and the dark forces. Only someone deep in satanic worship as religious  fanatics put it would name himself "Uncle Demon"

When I listen to Tommy Lee even last night at this party I went to, I always observe the magic transformation, his music has on the patrons. Young men with Gun Fingers at their sides, step out in militancy, face contorted in mime anger and determination: if a bwoy step to any of these young men in the height of one of these Tommy Lee "highs" , memba smady a get dust out.

Not even Vybz Kartel elicits this kind of violent response, after all Kartel is mostly regarded as a Galist and not a badman. Mavado is the one that is considered a Gangster. My main concern Is how the man them get grieve as soon as them hear a Tommy Lee Song.

I will admit that on many afternoons, high on Hennessey and red bull, I would imbibe doses of Tommy Lee Sparta's at parties and Jah Know 'me feel like the baddest gyal around'. I am not naturally a violent person so last night after seeing the Gangstas them "clutch back" as they would say in one of the many badman idiomatic references that are becoming a part of mainstream dialect in the Ghetto. This I will explore after I've done some researches with some of these alleged 'chargies'.

.what I often imagine is how this type of music affects a well thinking person of a rather mild disposition and compare it with the psycho emotional impact it has on a young, semi-literate, barely rational, angry, disaffected youth carrying "vengeance"(grudges) against society for his unfortunate status in life. What you have are easy candidates to build an army. Add some drugs and ,liquor to the mix, and you have found yourself a mean killing machine.

Who is responsible for our young men's obsession with Guns, Money and Murdering someone for the slightest offence? Our young men have lost touch with their values brought on by an erosion of the value system in our society and its replacement being that of the media and misguided notions purported by people with dishonourable intentions.

i believe that our educators have a greater burden on their shoulder, we need an ethics and values class within our education system where children are taught from kindergarten about the value of their humanity. When i was a child, most kids went to church. Today parents do not send their children to church therefore children are not encountering the tenets of christian principles which forms the cores of the values and moral that the Jamaican Society Embraces.

Successful people are afraid to go back to the Ghetto and help youths because they become preys for social predators and their army. How can anyone be interested in helping our children evolve into the best of their humanity when they are consistently bombarded by extortionist, gangsters and thugs.
Small minded people misinterpret charity as meaning you have more to give than seeing it as generosity and will become plagues upon your life. Imagine i buy some books and give it away to children, keep a little back to school fete, i spend a mere $50,000 plus donations from Charities and people misinterpret that as being rich. What does that say about how people view life? If i have to give away, it means i have a superfluous amount! Unknowingly, i invited "bay preements" unto myself without having any intention of doing so. All of a sudden people start checking you for pampers for their baby and stuff...


Tommy Lee is a product of our society. He claims it is just entertainment yet i watched a couple interviews he did and wondered how vacuous he really is and if he writes his lyrics. He sounds shrill to my ears, like rubbing a piece a zinc on a grater and that "yuh zimmi", its annoying and a tell-tale sign of imprudence and rest assure, most teenage boys use it like a pronunciation at the end of every statement.

I say to cousin "WEH U A GO TRAVIS' His response "go out pon the front" laughs and adds "you zemmiiie". I roll my eyes, this is what Tommy Lee does to these young men.

I am not saying Tommy Lee Sparta does not have depth and he has probably seen more gruesome stuff in his 24 years than i have in my 25, but we are the same age group yet we do not think the same way. We have two completely different outlook on life. Or maybe i am not in a position to judge Tommy Lee the person since i only know about Tommy Lee the Artiste.

What i would like to hear is Tommy Lee putting on Forums and spearheading campaigns against Violence. Telling young men the horrific truth of life as a Spartan. Better yet i do not even know why Tommy Lee chose Sparta. He is not even Greek. Does he understand who is a Spartan? Is He alluding to the residents who were free in the Greek city but did not have political rights? why not Zulu or Mandingo? he might have a pint there but endorsing the murder and mayhem as resolution tactics is not the way forward for our society.

I know many overzealous young men are dying for a revolution and power. But remember with great power comes great responsibility. Tommy Lee has five kids and he should think about how his lyrics are affecting the way people might deal with his children.Conflict is unavoidable because human beings will have disagreements but should we be encouraging our children to "mek river run" like blood out of any one who disagrees with our opinions or if someone says something that offends our sensibilities.

Diary of a lovelorn victim of narcissism: Lethargy and disenchantment

The numb of the pain that I am experiencing within my system is nothing compared to the hollowness that I feel within my body. My mind feels as if it has been disconnected from my being. My soul is like a scared child cowered in the inner most recesses of my existence. My future seem dim, I did not know that a shared tiny moment would have affected my entire life. I react in tears to displays of affection and my body recoils from embrace of love from the opposite sex. I have begun to see your face on all of them. I have used your behavior as a yardstick for their conduct. Why can’t you be like them?


He seemed to have moved on very easily. He pretends I do not exist while I am withering away in to my fantasies of me and him. I keep dreaming, desperate for a reconnection I know will not materialized and even if it transpires the experience will not be less harrowing.


What can I do? I carry one with hope that one day the pain will go away. I pray that I will feel whole again, alive and in tune with who I am. I salvage what’s left of my self esteem and I drag on. My joy has been taken away. I cannot have fun. I am in a crowd and I feel starkly alone. I am surrounded by love still I only feel hatred and revulsion. I want to run to a corner in my room and lick my wounds. But I get up. I dance, laugh and return gestures.


If you could stare into my eyes, you would see that there was not one sparkle there. If you stared closely, you would have noticed my tight, forced smile. If you pried deeper you would have seen that my joy is merely skin deep. Nothing on the surface has reached my soul. But I cannot force my problems on you. You empathy and sympathy might reinforce the dullness and pain I am feeling. Some may re-traumatized me and others simply will not understand. My wounds are not palpable and tactile, they are soulful and emotional. You wouldn’t understand. Therefore I drag on…


Yes I drag since my feet refused to lift of the ground. I am too lethargic. Some days I am too weak but still I carry on for fear I may vegetate and then the narcissist would have won. He would have laughed at me and his ego inflated taking comfort and joy in my despair. I must go on. I must pick up the pieces and find a way to mend them back together. I must find my soul. Soul where are you? I must go on!

How women allow emotionally unavailable men(narcissist) to destroy them

How women sometimes allow a narcissist to destroy them?




I can just imagine that you probably started reading this issue with your tongue sharpened to objurgate me for making such a statement. But let me share a personal experience with you before I delved into the central focus of my article.
There was a time when I was in a verbally abusive relationship with a narcissistic man who found great pleasure in ranting obscenities and profane invectives at me effusively. He would launch a tirade at me completely unprovoked. His bout of anger made me very apprehensive about calling his phone or even talking to him because of his labile rampages and tantrums. It was as if he had problems and he was using me as a valve to vent his frustrations. A psychologist friend of mine was very amused when he learned that we were only seeing each other for a week and he was behaving or rather our relationship sounded like we were together for years. It did not stop there. The more I got close to him and demonstrated my feelings for him. The more obnoxious he became.




I remembered his first attack. It was our second time conversing on the phone. I found his petulant response to my opinion of his professed single status as unbelievable and he had excoriated and shut me down for insinuating that I was a liar. Everything about the man was incredible. He was almost too good to be true and I fell in love with him, with most men I could decipher what their intentions were towards me but my ex narcissist was unreadable.



The signs were very clear I just kept overlooking and falling for his kind words, saccharine tone and the romantic text messages he sent. I saw his obnoxious behavior as a desperate attempt by him to act humble. I posit the first subtle obnoxious statement he made was just an overreaction to my questions or he had a bad day. I did not think that it was the real side of the man, slowly but surely emerging. I imagined his possessive attitude and portrayed insecurities as profession of his softer side. It felt good that a man of his caliber could be jealous of a woman he barely knew. I presupposed his jealous responses to my outings and dates with friends were proof that he was smitten, oh how naïve and paltry my masculine assessment skills were.


I thought he had feelings for me. I believe that he was truly lovesick when he was hasting to consummate our relationship even though I wanted to wait based on the fact that I thought our relationship was moving too fast and I wanted to get to know him more. But I gave in under the misconception that he wanted intimacy to reassure his place in my life and to cement his right to ask me questions about my life, whereabouts and companions. I found the idea intriguing, amused and sometimes frightening. A small voice in my head kept telling me there was something wrong with this handsome, successful man with a bad temper.



His paroxysms got worst and I could not placate him. I tried talking to him in a less confrontational attitude and attempted a docile approach to his advances. It was not sufficient. It was as if he had a wanton desire to insult and depreciate me. He excoriated me gushingly and it seemed the more abusive he was, the more I endeavored to emend my behavior to be the best possible spouse.



I validated his opinions to the point where I began to believe that I was annoying him. I began to embrace his confounded yet fragmented notions of my self worth. I began to think he was unhappy with my appearance or was it my financial status or level of education. I decided to cease from using technical jargons and erudite terms in his presence. I perceived that he saw my intelligence as a threat to his ego as I was considerably more trenchant than he was. I kept modifying my behavior and expressions but it was futile.



My narcissist ended the relationship and I was devastated because I had invested immensely in the relationship. I cried for months and I flung myself into a chasm of depression. I was slowly becoming a Limerant. I spent hours recollecting our moments together and analyzing every detail of our private moments to see if there were areas that could have been improved. I felt as if I had did him wrong in spite of the verbal abuse and insults that I was subjected to by this handsome, successful yet grandiose man.



It was six months later when i got my epiphany when the narcissist began to seek out my companionship again. I quickly realized that I liked him for what he represented and not for who he was. I realized that I was in love with a shell and how good it felt parading him in front of my friends and siblings as my partner. I realized that I liked the idea of the man and not the man himself. I saw in him the characters that I needed to develop and I assume that he saw in me what he is not and will never be. He was arrogant whilst I was unassuming. His self confidence was luminous and he had a commanding air about him that made me want to cower in his presence and do his every bidding. He was my match, the only man that intimidated me. I conceded that if he was perceivably poor and unattractive I would have dumped him at the first sign of trouble.


My point basically is that I am not a self righteous female who is here to accuse you of digging your own grave. I am not here to retraumatised you or lambaste you for remaining in an abusive relationship when all signs say that you should leave. I did not stay with him because he was not hurting; it is not that I did not care about myself. You will discover that ironically women stay in hurting relationships because they do care about themselves. They sometimes become an extension of their partner especially if he is a narcissist with the attendant wealth, power and clout. They do not leave because their image and social experience would be damaged. They do not leave because we live in a society that merits people based on aesthetics and financial standing. People who are considered wealthy and attractive are subjected to far more lenient social judgment and highly enhanced social experiences.

Why Women stay with Abusive men

Why women stay with abusive men

It’s a phenomenon that we are both intrigued yet repelled by and it is the idea of a successful, intelligent, good natured and ‘should know better woman’ that remains committed to a man that disrespects, abuses and ill treat her mercilessly and unrepentantly. We wonder what could compel a woman to want to remain with a man that only cost her pain and discomfort, yes I mean cost her and not cause her! A man that only seems to sap her energy, undermine her self worth and under rate her dexterities and competencies. A man that limits her physical and psychological freedom publicly humiliates her and beats her occasioning grievous injuries. We are appalled when a successful woman admits that she has been abused by her husband. We are outraged when a woman is murdered by the hands of her lover. We are incensed when a woman attempts to leave an abusive relationship but finds her self right back with the abusive lover because she feels that she can’t live without him or that he will hurt her if she leaves. We wonder why a man could do something to a woman that he claims that he loves.



The truth be told, an abusive man does not love anyone but himself. Abusers are frequently narcissistic. They are self absorbed, ego centric and egotistic. He is weak and lacks human compassion, feelings or even emotions. The only time he feels any iota of emotions is when he feels as if his being is somehow threatened. These emotions ranged from anger, guilt, self pity and ferocity. It is at the ferocious point that most women will get their asses slapped or neck slashed by an abusive man. I know it sounds grisly heinous but it is the truth. We have seen many headlines, many Dr Phil’s and Oprah Winfrey and even CNN headline. Abusive husband, jealous boyfriend, estranged lover murders his woman.



Women have a nurturing nature that is a characteristic of our evolutionary psychological development. Just as how a mother loves a delinquent son, it is the same analogy for a woman with a tyrant, inconsiderate irreverent husband. A woman feels love for her man even though pummels her every night. In spite of his abusive nature, he often has other great characteristics that overshadow his sadomasochist behavior. The wife believes that if she loved him more, harder over and over again, he will become a better man. She posits that she has sufficient love within her being to serve for both of them. Enough love to fill the void that his lack of expressive love has made. She loves for both of them, suffers for both of them and lives for them both. It’s a level of sacrifice that is unfounded and leaves the woman exhausted, an overwhelming emotional fatigue. It’s the same altruistic and self less, incessant, irrevocably love that a mother has for her disaffected child. She loves him no matter how bad he is.

But does she always love him. Sometimes we women believe that we love a man but what we are really enamored with is often what the man represents, the power that he has or his money. We are in love with a shell. You realize that you love the way he looks, the way he commands attention at a seminar, the fact that you feel proud to have a husband who is a corporative executive, drives a Pontiac and lives in Beverly Hills. The same husband that broke two of your ribs disrespects your mother and almost shot your daddy in the ass when he came for thanksgiving.


You love how he looks and what he represents and not necessarily the substance of the man. It’s like loving a bottle of crystal champagne. You like how it looks, you like showing it to everyone (yes I can buy an expensive drink and yes I have taste!) but you hate the damn contents, you never drank a sip from that bottle that you boast of every day.


She feels that she probably will never meet another man like him. He becomes indispensably to her. She needs to keep this man because she feels nullified without him. Her identity has become intersperse with his and she feels as if she will become no body or nothing without this man. Her sense of self has been eroded by his constant abuse and denigration. She has no autonomy, no singular personality or definition of self outside of her husband and his life. This woman is normally the one who is married to the governor or a very powerful man. This woman is afraid of losing her status in society and divorcing from her abusive man may well be the ramification.

Then there are the women who are trapped in their relationship with abusive men for personal reasons. The females remain with abusive men because they want to protect their children because she fears that the man might abuse the child or children. Most men that abuse women tend ill treat children because abusive men like to pound on people that are weak or perceived debilitating.


An abusive man suffers from malignant narcissism. He feels that he is above moral authority. He rarely feels any form of reproach. He sees no wrong in his violent actions and is incorrigible. He accepts violence and sees it as his only form of expression, be it verbal or demonstrative. He sees foul behavior as norm and expects everyone to accept it. It is quite normative that he was taught violence as a means of communication as a child. He has suffered abuse and therefore is only acting out what he was taught.


But this gives no man the right to bludgeon a woman to death or to loath her in any form. No woman deserves to be abused. No woman deserves to be disrespected. No woman deserves to be marginalized and isolated from her friends and family by an abusive husband. No woman deserves to be abused. No woman should remain in an abusive relationship. There is no reason to hang around saying that it will get better. The man can be encouraged to seek counseling but how many narcissistic men will be willing to admit that he needs counseling? How many sadistic men will see the vile and anomie in their actions. The best advice is to get out while you still can! Get out now!

Living with Henry the Narcissist

Living with Henry: the narcissist

When I was enamored (fixated) with a narcissistic man, I did not look at the situation from futuristic and permanent standpoint. I did not visualize what life would be like cohabitating with a man that suffers from narcissistic personality disorder. I was given a glimpse of that life when I met a friend online who appears to be suffering from narcissistic personality disorder or simply exude high levels of narcissistic traits interlaced with antisocial disorder.


This malevolent net mate was controlling, inflated and possessive. He had contrived a biography where he is a successful computer engineer with numerous clients. He was a chameleon, jack of all trades. There were days when he was a lecturer at a prestigious university. Some days he was a marine engineer and other days he was a savvy business man with numerous clients coming to his doorsteps at rude hours of the night. He had the most inflated ego I have ever had the misfortune to acquaint. His inflated self image was staggering and appalling. The narcissist misogynistic overture and sexual innuendos were distasteful.


He was a pathological liar and the most sanctimonious person I have ever dealt with. His self righteous personage was highlighted by his twisted sense of justice and morality. He would lambaste an individual for lying to him and yet he lied profusely. He was rather defensive when he thought he was being offended and yet expected others to tolerate his obnoxious behavior. He did not see anything wrong with his repugnant behavior. In fact he claimed that he does not care if people liked him because he liked him self and that’s all that mattered to him. Narcissism indeed!


I made the mistake of relating his narcissistic traits to that of a phantasm from my past and the malignant figure launched into tirade, defending my phantasm and laying the blame at my feet of course. I was amused then incensed at the narcissist inability to empathize. He perceived my anger at the experience I had with another narcissist as mere indication that I was still in love with him. The man was unable to dissect emotions further cementing his narrow sightedness and incapacity to distinct human reactionary feelings. When I vented my disgust and outrage at the behavior of narcissists, he challenged that I was being petulant because I could not manipulate the narcissist. I could not compel the narcissist to satisfy my needs and therefore I become angry and frustrated. Talk about projection! What the narcissist was saying to me was a deep mirroring of his attempt to control and manipulate me into complying with his demands and embracing his line of thought.


A narcissist lack emotional intelligence and is only responsive to two types of behavioral emotions and those are attacking and raging. The narcissist will bombard you with insults as a form of attack and then when you retaliate or threatened them in any essence they will launched into rampages aimed at cowering and reestablishing control. This narcissist did not hesitate to furnish my ideals and self concepts with his scathing perspectives and supercilious ideologies. He spoke as if he was the most trenchant individual alive. His opinions were spouted with erudite terms, mainly verbiage speeches with little or no sapient content aimed at subverting my self concept and undermining my intelligence.



If I did not know any better. I would have said my ex had sent a friend to finish the job off. The man’s conduct was similar to my ex boyfriend but ten times amplified. The thing about pathology is that it is predictable and the minute one who suffers personality syndrome arrives, he will be quickly pin point and categorize. In spite of my better judgment I decided to continue this charade with the narcissist online so as to get a real life glimpse into the pathology. I wanted to see narcissism from the outside. I wanted to look at it for the first time through the eyes of a social science researcher or a psychologist and not a lovelorn partner.


I got to witness narcissism from a detached and unemotional standpoint. I converse with the narcissist daily, observed and internalized his responses like an avid social scientist watching an interesting experimental phenomenon unfold. I realized based on our daily association that this was what I had to deal with, if I had pursued a relationship with a narcissist. This was the hell that I yearned for months ago. I felt a wave of pity and despondence for the women that lived with this malignance and have endured the constant battering that composed life with the narcissist.



The narcissist constantly devaluated and avidly conflicted my opinions to shut down my concepts and doctrines. The repressive natures of the interaction, the obscenities were geared at reducing my self concept by making my existence comparable to glucose ridden edibles and at other times, Human effluent erasers. He would idealize in one paragraph and devaluate in the very next. His excuse for being abusive and for the abuse of a narcissist from my past was simple to make me stronger. He contended that I was very weak to fall in love and that deities like himself were not amenable to such feeble expressions and feelings. He made a violation and I petitioned him to apologize. He hurled obscenities and at me and questioned why he needed to apologize to me. I broke into loud guffaws. This man was something else.


The most enthralling segments of our online interaction were the mirror effecting and projection. The man perceived simple and natural reactions to my intellectualization and psychologising of his behavior as an indication that I was mad. He kept diagnosing me. He said that I was a narcissist, another time I suffered from obsession and lately I had a split personality. This man was hilarious and had me laughing to the shock and amusement of my sister who was watching our conversations sometimes.



I mused for a while when the narcissist did the most conceivable disturbing thing. He pretended to be my ex boyfriend without any inference from me. He played the role of my ex boyfriend trying to reconnect with me for two weeks. He did not blatantly state that I am your ex boyfriend pretending to be someone else because I am afraid that you may reject me. He gradually unveiled himself. Dispersing modicums of my past relationships and patterns of the untamed rage. His conversations sounded similar to the person that he was or he was trying to imitate. I was for a single moment completely confused on where my analysis was with this character.


It was intriguing yet ominous. I considered for fleeting moments that this person could be my ex playing one of his mind game. I cogitate that I was being abused by proxy and that my ex had engineer this situation and had enlisted the aid of one of his avatars to do the heinous injury. I was becoming paranoid. I kept thinking what the avatar had to gain from this situation. Why is it tantamount that these men decompose my self concept and esteem? Am I a lunatic magnet? Do I attract mad men?


The most arcane yet fundamental aspect of my observation was that this Henry personality appeared more genuine when he was assumingly playing the role of my former narcissistic friend than when he was the PhD scholar in decision making and management science. I mused that the cast of the former friend may appear more genuine because the persona that he presented is indeed falsified or I may just be conversing with someone closer to home than I thought.



This narcissist gave me a glimpse at the constant verbal abuse and excoriation I would have been subjected to. He implied that I should be grateful that the narcissist had abandoned me and cease chasing a shadow. He did not understand (as I will explain in my issue on whom to go to for support when you are a victim of narcissism) or rather he refused to see my side of the story. He wanted to me to see an image that was tarnished by his lies and constant games.
He decided to revert back to his first personage and to shed the boyfriend character. It appeared that the game had lost its passion or he wanted to befuddle me some more. The damage had already been done. When he played that role, he had destroyed any ounce of credibility. His integrity was smear eternally in my eyes. I saw him as a compulsive, pathological liar. I regard him as an untrustworthy individual. A reckless disposition that should be kept at arm’s length.


Moreover he had made it clear to me that he was a master manipulator. The hoax confirmed that this individual did not have any regard for my feelings and that this person was capable of anything. This unalleviated spiteful attack on my emotions was rudely awakening as it was menacing. But I was thankful that he showed me this side of his personality. It has reaffirmed my relationship with him and what mettle of man he really is.


The narcissist claimed that I was weak because I felt love and emotions. He asserted that I was not strong and individuals who seek to find love in the world are weak people. He did not see affection as a virtue but rather a curse and a handicap. He regarded my repulsion of narcissism as hint that I was still hang up on my ex. He was unable to construe the difference between consumed love and intense revulsion.



The most frightening aspect of the relation with the online narcissist was the exhaustion. I felt depleted after our conversations. My sister and significant other could not understand why I sat around my computer at nights conversing with an apparent dangerous and deranged man. My sister spoke with him couple of times and conceded that he was the most depraved individual alive.


It seem the more I associated with him; pieces of my vivacity and vim were eaten away. It was evident that the conversations with this toxic individual were affecting me. I quickly conceded that this was exactly how I would feel if I was involved with a narcissist, emotionally drain and psychologically teetering on sanity. Thank god!

The Jamaican Men We Love to Hate: Narcissist/Egoist

The Men we love to Hate!

The Egoist (Part One)

Complex, obstinate and incomprehensible creatures locked into a world of testosterone driven pride, ego and sensibilities. It’s intriguing how men can charged at an enemy with herculean ferocity and yet hold a woman as tenderly as a baby. These beings are capable of triggering magnitudes of overwhelming emotions in females deeming their reflexes temporarily incapacitated. We love the sound of their baritones, whether it’s a growl or a snarl!

We are enamored with the way that they walk, comport themselves. Our defenses crumble when they stare at us with cocky posterity and ensnare our hearts with irresistible charm and finesses! We find them engaging, we fight for them and in extreme cases we may even kill for them!

We invest time, energy and resources, trying to please them.
Oh how we love them…
Until the trifling, lying, deceptive, conniving, no good bastards break our hearts!

If only I knew the scoundrel was not what he had appeared to be. If only we had a criterion board to identify the dissolution beneath the beguiling armor that we fall haplessly and stupidly in love with.

How many women have beaten themselves over relationship blunders? Wondering how we missed that snicker that we thought was a genuine smile and deluded ourselves into believing that he wanted the house, picket white fence and two kids.

The men that we love to hate come in many varieties. We fall in love easily with them because they epitomizes (externally that is) the very essences of what we are seeking in a man. But beware not all that a glitter is gold and men are excellent actors who will play a role with brilliant histrionics until he gets into your drawers.

Too often we see the warning posts and the red flags and ignore them on the premise that we can change him or maybe he will change because, I am different and he will see the distinctions and fall in love with me. only to have him call ( if he calls at all, men hate confrontations that brings their integrity into question and where they may be judged) and let you know that he is not thinking of marriage, the house in the country and Sunday afternoons on the verandah…if you know what I mean!



Unfortunately, these are men that we women can’t help falling in love with!



First and foremost you have the Egoist!

He is cocky, overbearing and exudes a self confidence that outshines a million cities. He is self assured, ambitious and drives a Mercedes. You admire his aggressive attitude, condescension and arrogance.

he walks into a room he commands authority. His dress code is that of a man who has exquisite taste in fashion and invest time in his wardrobe. He is the type of man you could brag to your friends about, the kind of man that you could move up the social and communal ladder through association. The variant of masculine specimen that will make your friends turn green with envy and your grandmother wishing she was young again. The type that causes you to cower in his presence as you rush like a spooked mouse to please the big feline when he meows!


This man is termed full of himself and rest assure he is highly self centered and care little for others. Realizing that he is at the hierarchy of feminine desires, women are of minimal importance to him because he knows that he can ‘pick, choose and refuse’. A man like this is liable to make you fall in love with him through his graceful charm, orientation and swagger. And then he will dump you with alacrity and ruthlessness!


Most Egoists are Narcissist and are normally verbally abusive and scathing of their partners. Men of this nature are single and their relationship status serving both as a trap for potential partners and a staunch indicator that there has to be a deficiency. There has to be an underlining problem or hidden agenda when a man is aesthetically endowed, ambitious and affluent without a woman by his side. (Don’t be deceived because either he is gay or he is a player, a eunuch or a frigid or he has some other hidden deficits)

These hidden deficiencies range from sexual impotence, sexual insecurity, promiscuity, tyranny, verbal abuse to low self esteem and confidence. A person may exude superiority and confidence on the outside but is very insecure and has a low opinion of their own worth!

Materialism, wealth accumulation and success are measures utilized to mask feelings of substandardness that the Egoist may be experiencing. The Egoist thrives on denigrating and demeaning other so as to highlight the insufficiency in others therefore accentuating his often times enviable and desirable traits.

The Egoist sees women as sub beings to his lordship and mere objects to supply his every sexual and in some cases procreative needs. The Egoist will not pursue a relationship with a woman of his disposition but prefers a female of extreme docility. The submissive, acquiesce female that thrives on giving and who nourishes the Egoist’s ego. Inflating it with her meek and catering character, feeding him until he is obese with egoism

In rare some cases the Egoist does pursue a woman of substance but with the intent of vanquishing her, overhauling her self concept and leaving her male poisoned and miserable. The woman of substance is seen as a challenge to an Egoist, a mountain that needs to be eroded and place flat beneath his footstool. The Egoist will pursue the woman of substance, break her and then discard her!
The Egoist is often a shell with no display of human emotions. He lacks remorse, commiseration and empathy.


The Egoist is unforgivable and unforgettable. He inscribes his face in the annexes of feminine memories with his dual personality. Women find him intrigued and yet trepidated by the Egoist because he can facilitate love and inflict pain. He leaves pain, heart ache and desire in his wake. Women are left befuddled by his behavior.


It is not advisable to continue a relationship with an Egoist. Rest assures that he will destroy you. He will annihilate your sensitivity, plunge you into a chasm of low self worth and pick one’s self continuity away with his noxious character forceps. The Egoist is an emotional opportunist and hurting others is done intentionally without rue.

It does not matter how superlative you are, you will never be sufficed for the Egoist. He cares nothing of others, only catering to himself and his egocentricities.

The Egoist does not give into pleasantries hence the abusive personality and you will never receive an apology from an Egoist. Women find the Egoist attractive because he exudes behavioral characteristics that are refined and enchanting only to discover later that such conducts are fallacies utilized to snatch a desperate and naïve heart