Why Jamaican Young Women love the men who beat them?

It is like a quotidian occurrence for young men to be seen hitting their girlfriends on the street or at parties. It is as trendy as chromes Van and Bleaching skin. If one should listen to the women on the street recounting nocturnal fights with their partners among throngs of friends you would think the beatings were some novel mating dance.

In some cases it appears beating is some type of foreplay, a precursor to sex. After the fighting and “tumble down” , a passionate night of lovemaking ensues, tommorrow morning they tight as biscuit. You woulda never know a fight took place a few hours ago.


Most women cannot get these men to pay them any adequate amount of attention and therefore they provoke them into giving them a beating. After the fight, the male may rue the altercation and becomes loving and attentive until he gets bored of her.

That is just one theory i offered in my book. Here is another presented by a blogger. “ Jamaican women won’t give you the ” wuk “without a reference, lol, they want other women to want you but they don’t actually want to see you with one. The key to getting any woman to fall in love with you is cool indifference with a tups a tenderness… lol a lie..!!”. It may have some truth to it since most of these beatings are often over some infidelity she assumed he committed for which he would rather beat her to accept his version of events than fest up to.

The beating often involves some levels of threats and promise of more assaults if she decides to leave the relationship. The female is then reassured that he loves her and will calm down. Next time she might go at the mistress instead of the man who has convinced her that he loves her and is only unable to resist the sexual lure of a disloyal female who keeps waving her goodies at him.

Most women do not necessarily endorse the “murderation”. But the male uses it to cower the female into submission. He affectionately calls it a “touch up”. He will brag to his friends about how he has to give his girlfriend her weekly “touch up” so she will learn to behave herself and love him more.

It is unclear how they bond during this beating phase but the male becomes empowered by the wailing sounds of the woman while onlookers murmur among themselves, some men might intervene when the situation becomes disgraceful. Most elders declined intervention citing that if you intercieve, tommorrow morning she is back with him therefore it is futile. Let them fight out their frustrations and work on their relationships until they get tire of each other.

It is clear the young women have a distorted notion of what a healthy relationship is. This may be due to lessons they inherited from their mother who tolerated abusive relationships, unknowing giving rise to a flawed perception that it is okay to be in a relationship with a man who verbally abuses her.

Lack of denouncement among other members of society might encourage this behaviour among young men since most men within the cultural nucleus especially those of lower socio-economical class, have no hiccups against “touching up their women”.



Read more: http://healthmad.com/women/why-jamaican-young-women-love-men-who-beat-them/

Slackness, Ghetto and Acceptance

A member of my family unit recently decided to relocate due to the unrelenting tensions in the familial home. It was a sad indictment. I found no satisfaction in seeing her leave albeit she would have gladly gloated over my departure. That has always been the difference between the learned and the untutored. The ignorant find amusement in life lessons. I have asked God repeatedly if he sees any errors in my judgement, please reveal them to me because I am only human and to be mortal is to be flawed. 

I thought for the most part that whatever issues we had as a family could have been resolved without this drastic measure. It became clear to me that those without any iota of introspection are liable to commit the same infractions repeatedly. If you cannot look into yourself and see your mistakes then you will be unable to implement any corrective measures to your life. If you cannot see the errors in your ways then you are doomed. 

Sometimes I am embarrassed when I read the comments labelled against Ghetto people, Vybz Kartel and those from lower socio-economical stratum. But in my quiet moments often foddered by recent occurrences I realized that they may be right in some of their contemptuous diatribe.

  Poor, illiterate people are some of the most difficult people to deal with.  Irrationality is the name of their game. They like hearing their own voices than conceding an argument because of what they know is right. It's about scoring points, winning quarrels and defending warped, unsound opinions. They put up with slackness and expect everyone to tolerate their almshouse thinking. In the Ghetto when you have nothing, you have the most friends and the minute you show signs of progress even your own family becomes your arch rivals. Everybody loves you until you become their competition. 

People unwilling to reconcile differences are dangerous sociopaths, who despite the damage  their aberrant behavior engenders find no fault in their destructive behavior will create problems regardless of their location. 

Those who support wrongdoers will surely become their victims. If you fail to tell a loved one when they are wrong then rest assure that you will one day be a victim of their lopsided thinking. Those who partake of slackness will be retributed tenfolds. 

I am not in any position to condemn another human being. Those of us who came from the gutters know that from time to time a piece of us will break off and float back to the floor from whence we came.

  Wealth can gray your eyes at the edges, money does not make you hover above human qualities, you are only a flawed being with much material gain. 

There is nothing that haunts these streets like ignorance and irrationalism.  These streets carry their own rules often quaint to those who live outside the zinc fence and stench of poverty.

I cannot say adequately that I understand the fashion of these rules, I can only imagine that they serve to somewhat moderate the turbulent climate of these streets. It is not within my capacity to cast judgement, I will try my best to understand, resist from condemning but there are notions that I will never accept or condone. 

Humility ; Finding the err in my Humanity

Self righteousness is the enemy of compassion and judging another persons life by your own existence with little regards for his private struggles is to bring down the same egocentric critique on your own humanity. 

You cannot understand the human nature without first examining yourself. Consider what motivates you to anger and violence. Imagine how many times people have done evil to us and how we subtlety, in the weak, secret hours of our lives wished them dead. We want their lives end because we believe life is the most precious thing and to take it away is to destroy what an individual values most. We are afraid of others when we should be wary of ourselves. We are as much a danger to others as we are to ourselves. The only danger that exist is man is himself and he is quite unaware of it. When we strive to destroy each other often times, unknown, unbidden we become the catalyst for our own self destruction. 

Regardless of the differences and divisions that we encourage among ourselves we must come to realize that it is the fragile strands of our humanity that bonds each and every one of us to a similar beginning and an inexorably yet identical end. 

Life is centrally a misery because society force these lofty ideals upon us to achieve and pursue material abundance and try to pervert our own nullification. We hate our meaningless existence and hence we try to give our lives purpose, to safeguard ourself from atomization into the free bouncing energy of nothingness that we all are. 

Many of us openly denounce those who pervade wickedness and yet we gloat over the failures of others. We would put our head and hearts together to see another to down because we think it makes us innocent. As long as I don't have any blood on my hands, then I haven't done anything wrong. When you speak your desires atmosphere asking God or Nature to conspire with you and foment the annihilation of others. Those who wish death upon others for malice, retribution or recreation are as guilty as the man behind the trigger. 

Evil is a serious energy. It is far more robust than Good because Good albeit subliminal is gradual but insured. Evil rushes to conclude that which it started. It consumes it's supporters and purveyors because evil leaves very few narrators. Wickedness thrives on pouring gasoline over a fire than hurling a bucket of water upon a fiery temper. Very soon the conflagration incinerated the doser because whatsoever we put out in is what we get back. I wish even the damning the best of health because I believe it is never my place to cast judgement. Me, a flawed human being with my numerous quasi obsessive compulsive behaviors and never ending personal struggles would never marinate another human being in condemnation, laws caters how deserving.

It is sad because there was a time when I imagined mercy as reciprocity. Show mercy onto those who are merciful towards you. I could never ask the higher forces to fight against those who fight against me since in doing so I prove myself no better or different than them. 

Sometimes I am afraid to write about  how I really feel and some of the things my mind's eye see. I believe opening some doors can change your life. I have a hunch of foreboding that this society does not want to hear anything I have to say because I don't look a certain way or come from a particular area. My brothers get judged for wearing kerchiefs on their faces like Mexicans, I get judge for choosing to remain among them. Well how can you expect to look like a criminal, act like a criminal and associate with criminals and not be regarded as one. Judge not less he be the brunt of a fool's judgement. 

I see wisdom hunkering down on the darkness, afraid to traipsing the menacing streets of gratification and material allures. I've asked God whoever he is because I am sometimes agnostic to show me the error in my ways, guide me away from the evil paths. I am only human ad my scope of knowledge is not static, it is ever expanding. The more I learn the less I realize I know. I am still a fool and the foolish are prone to make mistakes. So I am asking for guidance from the supreme intelligence.  

ANother excerpt from book The Barn Raiders

Franco ran down the dark streets of red lane with his shirt in his mouth. He had seen a shadow grabbed his friend around the corner and began ditching blows into his upper torso. Why Raty stopped to unrinate at the junction was beyond him but he ran because he was sure that when he looked back at the shadows, Raty laid motionless on the ground and the creepy silhouette was running towards him with a shimmery object in his hand that illuminated into a spark when it hit the lights.

He careened around the deep corner and jumped into a yard ran up onto the verandah. He crouched immobile on the ground, confident that this was the only way he would be able to escape the dark, quiet silhouette that he knew would soon creep up around the corner looking for him. He only hoped that the occupants at the house did not see him come into the yard and call the police. It would never work in his favor if the police came. They'd either shoot him mistakenly for a burglar or Raty's killer or they would imprison him under similar speculations.

The creepy figure came into the light then masked into the shadows. He took something from his pocket and lit what appeared to be a cigarette in his mouth. He glanced down the road. He took a smoke and stared up the road. Then another figure with the shiny tool in his hands came up to him, looking franticly behind him. He stared over into the yard and Franco could have sworn he looked directly into his eyes. Franco did not move. The figure stared then knocked his friend on the chest with two fingers ad motioned for him to go into what Franco realized for the first time was a waiting car. Franco didn't know if his eyes were playing tricks on him but he knew within himself even if the last glance the stranger telepath towards the verandah did not confirm that he may have seen him.

Support my New Book

Some people think that when you sow bad seed, you reap bad seed. No what you will reap is a tree filled with fruits that have bad seeds. Whatsoever you sow, you shall reap tenfold.

White people sow slavery, destroyed the black man's mentality and are now reaping a society of black people who are unable to evolve from a path of self destruction and regression.

What are the issues really affecting our Jamaican Society so that we cannot seem to move forward?

We understand that a break down in family values is one of the fundamental contribution to the surge in crime and violence within our society as children are inculcated with anti-social values and then reinforced by families who provide safe havens for their criminal relatives. They refuse to inform on them and therefore keep them in the community as a threat and menace to the society.


What are the central factors contributing to the depravity of the Jamaican Society?

1. Absentee paternal culture is prevalent in Jamaica where fathers are not actively involved in the lives of their children and therefore mothers cannot adequately send children to school because of no financial support. Children also need affirmation and our culture encourages abuse of children instead of loving and nurturing the next generation.

2. Mothers with no financial support and a baby to care for often end up with another man who gets her pregnant and abandons her. Before you know it. She has several children to feed without any financial support from their fathers. She ends up raising adults who were not properly schooled, men with psycho emotional problems and women with low self esteems. The process will indubitably recur with these adults. It is a proven fact that children from these family structures often become just like their parents. Gunmen and serial single mothers are often from similar familys structures.

3. We need more factories in Jamaica, Agro processors, Factories for creating clothing, Arts and Crafts industrial complexes and Angel Investor opportunities for our smart talented YOUNG people. A lack of viable employment opportunities is another critical element in helping Jamaica to move towards sustainable development. We are spending too much time trying to repair that which is broke and not sufficent interest in finding recourses and opportunities for transitional development and nation building.

4. Our legal system is fraught with issues regarding injustices and professionalism. Civilians are angry at the police force because they know too well and contribute sufficiently to the corruption that they talk about amony members of the Jamaica Defense Force. They often attempt to bribe police officers who due to the harsh economical times and the incapacity of their salaries to sustain their lifestyles succumb to venality. It may seem that our police officers are bearing the brunt of our economical down turn just as civilians. Remember that the members of the police force are taken from our own society

5. When a nation is a sinking ship then it leaves opportunities for its brightest and professionals to become white collar criminals. Their salaries cannot supplement the cost of living in Jamaica therefore they become embezzlers.


6. Absentee Politicians are a huge issue in Jamaica. When an area has a political representative that is absent predominantly for several consecutive terms then the area becomes an anarchy. Where you do not have leadership it leaves space for qsuedo leaders to be born and for “dons” to dominate. People will no doubt take up the mantle and begin to provide for the community sometimes at the expense of other members of our society.

7. The Anti-Informant culture is a big deterrent to crime and violence. How can citizens be encourage to speak on knowledge of crimes when the police cannot offer them protection.How can any member of a community give the police information and then the officers leave them in the same area with the hooldums. Not only that many police officers have friends among the bad man and therefore people are afraid to inform on them. It is like you are damned if you do and damn if you don't...

8. Our Education system is crippled with problems. We have long market education as a means for social mobility and wealth creation. We never addressed the pyshco-emotional needs of our children. We need an educational programme that not only teach our children to get rich but to be better citizens. We need ethical education so that we can have a better society.

9. Religious Leaders are afraid. They provide the medium between the civilian and the realm. They have forgotten their purpose and religious commitment to maintaining the morals and values in our society. The laws that we have are formed from the core principles of christianity hence our religious eaders do have a part to play in the restoration of our country.

10. Diaspora abandoned Jamaica. The Jamaicans who live abroad run away and never come back. They do not care about the nation. I am often surprised to discover how much many Jamaicans believe that they can only see what they are working for in another country and not their own. They allow every one to come and capture a piece of Jamaica while the wealthy people in our diaspora do not see Jamaica as an auspicious investment opportunity.

When you live in A SOCIETY where the vulnerable and the innocent like our elders and children become victims of violence. It signals not just a decline in regards for human life but an overall decomposition in the validation and sanctity of our humanity. We are a culture of people that enjoy preying on the weak. We respect the strong “arms” but seek to eliminate those who only wish for the collective good of our society and not just that of any one individual or group.

Finding the Goliath in You!!!

"

There is always something to do. There are hungry people to feed, naked people to clothe, sick people to comfort and make well. And while I don't expect you to save the world I do think it's not asking too much for you to love those with whom you sleep, share the happiness of those whom you call friend, engage those among you who are visionary and remove from your life those who offer you depression, despair and disrespect.

Nikki Giovanni" 

I was called a sleeping Giant today. I have gotten accustom to drawing people into me. It is a remarkable quality. I am by all means magnetic. 

People often commend me of a greatness they see peaking out behind those incisive eyes of mine alive with animation. I wonder sometimes if god really has a plan for me! We won't even go here this time. 

It has forced me to question myself. Am i really a sleeping giant? Can i do so much more than I am doing now? . Am I really shrouding my real potential and not expounding enough on the talents that god gave me. 

I know there's heroism inside of me but I live in a very fragile environment where people i know have little regard for the validity of human life. People hold no resignations about getting rid of people that they perceived to be a threat to the so call statusquo. So I mope around in obscurity, writing here and there, believing that my pen is mightier than the sword. 

All heroes die. What cause can I champion in my country when I believe for the most part that the powers that may be are not ready for where I am taking this nation? The blatant disregard with which my mp treats my emails is testament to that. Sometimes I feel that I am fighting a losing battle! 

How can I fight for a people who are not ready for any sort of revolution? I am tired of seeing people die within their own communities, among their own people and nothing comes of it. How can I fight for a people who have been tattered their entire formative years by parents who by all means do not know any better. 

What about our intellectual Class? 

It's social slavery all over again. The intellectual class who are moving up through education do everything to distance themselves from the lower class families that most were spawned from, instead they kiss the asses of the rich so that they will be acceptable in their society. 

They become public servants, enslaving the Lower class masses so that they can feel like they are truly of a superior strata. But they are nothing but puppets for the rich. They all know it. I often hear lower class Jamaicans talk about "society people". They maybe right because within a nation we have society people and then we have ghetto people. 

I ask again whose rights supersedes whom?  The collective rights of the rich or doing what is right for the poor? The collective rights of our society or the individuals rights of one lone gun man? The rights of children or the privileges of wealthy pedophiles? The opportunism of the politician or the opportunities for the poor. Whose rights supersedes whom? 

We have greatness within us so we are all sleeping giants. We have been too long a victim of a system that seeks to deaden our spirits. We are too busy trying to survive that we miss the bigger picture. They have made us  committee to these rituals that we have lost ourselves. 

That life was never for me. I am sorry. I am not that big of a conformist, I could care less what people who are here now and few years it will be like they never existed have to say. 

We are all just passerbys on this road. There is no destination here. You live and you die. That's another thing I do not believe in. Sufferation. You are born to survive then you die. You are ever born to suffer? Are you a sleeping Giants?