Fat Girl Problems : Dating

I met a young man yesterday and we had an interesting conversation. He surprised me in more ways than one. It is not the first time I am seeing him. Our paths crossed a few times and I was equally surprised that he noted I walked pass him in the supermarket a couple Fridays ago. 

When I trudged pass he did not seem particularly interested. He gave me a fleeting look and stared away. And yet he remembers every detail of what I did that day down to what I said to the cashier. I learnt something important, if a man is not staring, it does not mean he is not looking. 

We bumped into each other last night. He apologized profusely. And we started talking, he has known me all my life, remembers when I was going to high school. I could not pick him up, didn't recognized him until he showed me pictures of his family. He looked nothing like the boy I knew. 

When it comes to dating and relationship ships, I often emphasize contrast and comparison when dealing with different suitors. This young man reminded me of what a genuine attraction looks and feels like. 

I didn't have to ask for his number.  There was no need to employ subterfuge, drop hints or encourage interest. It flowed naturally. I was given his number, invited to his Facebook page and asked which day I was free so he could take me to lunch in his brand new Honda SUV. 

I asked him if he was sure I was his type. He asked me." What was wrong with me?" He then said. " I like trying new things" I was sold. 

I did not ask him out of insecurity. I pride myself on being logical in my approach with men. I am a big bodied girl and have to question the interest of a man I often see with slender, petite women. I admit that physically I am not his type or at least I think I am not. I did not know why I reminded him. It was not a prudent move but his response wiped the doubts from my mind. 

And I decided that my next book will be about Fat Girls Problems. It is a reality that bigger frame women deal with everyday and it is the notion that our bodies are not considered ideal. 

Fat girls have to work twice as hard to get respect from men, who see them as third class citizens and last resort. A fat girl is only considered an ideal partner if she has money. While slender women can come as they please! Broke or joke! 

Any ambitious, successful fat girl will tell you the shit men put them through. Men automatically assume that because your body is big, it means you are insecure. A guy once told me that fat women are easy. He was seriously deluded. Women are easy regardless of size, it all boils down to self value. 

But my fat sisters get played a lot. Guys who ask you to pay their phone bills so they can call other women. Men who offer a little sex, miminal interactions and want to collect huge benefits. 

Men who will never he caught dead with you in public and yet have the most demands on you in private. Fat Girls problems goes on and on.... 

I love my child's father for he was the man who loved me for who I am, without glamour or success. He values me. He is the template for sincere affection. Therefore I watch other men and I think about him. This little boy I met last night came pretty close. 

Jamaican men do not want any good woman!

Remember when you were going to high school and you thought if you had your degree and good job, nice house and great financial prospect that you would be beating eligible men off you with a stick. You would have so many men, good bad and the indifferent vying for your hand in marriage. 

Ratchets would not even be much of a competition with your good education, big bank account and good looks. They could take whatever you did not want and even then your man was in an eternal swing of insecurity for someone as good as you could find someone better at any given time. 

Fast Forward ten years later and you realize that half the men you thought would be swimming the Atlantic Ocean alongside sharks and climbing Mount Everest barefeet to get this worthy woman hand will quickly pass you over for a chick who thinks parliamentarians speak a different language. 

You will quickly find out that wearing your natural hair and sporting a make up free face only attracts less desirable men and not the kind of men you suppose would be remotely interested in someone who was being real and progressive. It might seem to the educated, savvy and " keeping it real women" that men are more into the women who want to party, have sex and get high. 

While this might be the case, the main issue here is that the men who are considered ideal partners are no where near ready to settle down. That is the quandary that most women find themselves in, the guy who is your best is looking for better. As a matter of fact since he is not ready to settle down and he knows that you are looking for a serious relationship and he will stare clear of all women who want ring and babies. 

He will opt for women who can settle for his type of relationships and he is not willing to raise his standards because he is not looking to commit. It is very easy to treat women who are ratchets badly. You do not have to be nice to them for it is public Knowlege what they are about. Men do not have to call back ratchets or pay them any attention for it is an unspoken guy code that women whose reputations are compromise get the shitty end of the stick and I mean literally. 

It is not that these Jamaican do not want a good woman, they are just not ready to committ or settle. The ideal Jamaican man is like a child in a toy store. He sees too many women he wants, older women, younger women and teenagers. Why will he settle for you when he can have fifty others? Some men do not even know how to treat, regard and deal with a good woman. In that case please forgive them. 

What should the woman who want a good man do after she has worked hard to achieve and considers herself deserving of an ideal man. Should she just throw the towel in and settle for a compromised ideal or should she wait until ideal men grow up, have erectile dysfunction or some terminal illness? Some men are lifetime bachelors and they will never settle, they might even marry but they always have another girl. 

The strong independent woman might have to reevaluate her relationship needs. Maybe she needs to go over that checklist. She knows that half the wistful romantic notions she embraced are only in a bubble. Maybe it is time to pop that bubble open. 

Getting over Your Man Crushes and the Fairy Tale Complex

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.People are consistent with who they want to be consistent with. It’s as simple as that...

People sometimes complain that my books are a little bit too melodramatic, that females cry too much and i often create basic male characters with little development. I told a lady recently that i wrote books for the woman who some man caused emotional distress by telling her she was not good enough. I wanted to build real life heroines who've been through it all and still came out stronger that before who refused to be broken by love's sting. I want women to go back to a place of empowerment instead of enduring long term emotional burn from the men who turn their heads away from their advances.

I once had a crush on a younger man, i believe i liked the idea of him and not necessarily who he was because i did not know him. It was more of a fantasy. He represented something more deeper and sinister than i was ever inclined to admit. Sometimes i look at him and i would think he is ugly or his wardrobe is unattractive, i loathed the way he carried himself like a thug but he was a doppelgänger for my dead cousin. I had always admired him from a distance until i got a friend suggestion from Facebook and recognized him. I added him in pique curiosity as to associating with this human being who reminded me so much of a loss loved one.

He was courteous at first and when i told him the reason why i added him, he was polite and said he heard that several times. He like most young men within a working class setting with a little money harboured these warped sense of entitlement and a distorted notion of irresistibility. The more i entertained him, the more he surfaced aspects of his personality that i noted were serious deterrents. He was very much still a child and we were polar opposites.

I was not looking for a relationship, i saw no future in our association. He was not the kind of person that i could take places with me and yet my interest in him somehow translated along the lines of something bigger than himself. I made a pact with myself several years ago not to date men from my "Ghetto" community not because i think i am superior to them but because i have been frustrated too many times by trying to educate, impress and validate them. These men complain that intellectual women are arrogant and dismissive and yet they often chase them away with their indecorous behavior.

But did he chase me away or was i all along mispercieving his courtesy as interest. How can you say someone is interested in you when he never calls, he has never offered his number, he has visited your backyard ten times per week and has never once requested a date with you and if you do not text him then he doesn't text you. He might think i am probably stupid but i am not, these teenage battles that women grapple with in their understanding of male behaviour does not go away with age and they become even more intense when you really like or you are infatuated with someone. I am a date doctor, i do not miss hints. These are the same pointers i pontificate on my sites daily. Why would a disinterest by a fairly attractive, average intelligent and well adjusted teenage boy miss me. I wanted to wring the situation for what it worth and see how long it would take before his unsavory side emerged and it did not take long.

I tell a woman that when she is not getting the attention she seeks from a man it is never primarily because he wants to hurt her feelings but he is basically doing what he knows best. His response is intuitive, involuntary without intent, he is not interested and men do not have time to play and pretend. Their range of interest is very limited so if he is not interested he cannot afford to invest even a one second text to say hi to you. That is the kinda of currency you judge a man by. What he is willing to do to get to you. If he is not doing anything then he is not worth your stock.


I made this story apart of my new book on Relationships dubbed " The Fairy Tale Complex" to emphasize the meaning of having your feelings grounded in reality than on some fantasy. In hindsight there was nothing in this young man's behavior that signalled an interest in me. I was mainly frustrated, angry and resentful of him for treating me with blatant disregard. I realized that he didn't do anything to me. I did it to myself by seeing a tree and thinking it is a forest.

Grown women do mess up for love and emotions are turbulent feelings that we sometimes have fragile influence over. We will in our impassioned state forget that we have limited control over other people's feelings, we can only direct our own.Do not feel bad about it. It is a testament to our humanity and not something to be ashamed of. Even your love interest at some point in their lives, have loved people who did not return their affection. Your feelings my be unique to you but it happens everyday. Do not sweat it.

"I don't want you if you only want me for yourself. Sometimes you think you like someone but what you really like is the idea of them, what they represent , a figment of a fantasy. To find out if your affections are grounded in reality. Take a step back and allow destiny to take its course."

I went through a Fairly Tale Complex moment, one i have not done for a long time in my life. A male friend responded when i asked for his input that " Young men like to chase, not being chased". I could not understand these games.If you like someone and you cannot be honest and vulnerable with that person then who are you suppose to show your softer side to. I concluded that if you someone rebuffs your affections then that person was not meant for you. You cannot want someone who does not want you. You cannot force someone to like you.

I won't deny that a snide rejection, blatant or underhand by a man even the ones we think are beneath us will not rattle our confidence. You are human and it is perfectly okay to grieve for what could have been. A recipe for being bitter and anti-interactive around other men is to hold on to the resentful feelings you endured by the your admirer's recant. Weeep, lock your self inside your house for a few days and lick your wounds. When you feeling better, get out there and get back into the game. Boss Chicks do not react, they simply replace.

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Ten Things Your Mother Should Have Told You About Dating (Jamaica Date Doctor Series Book 2)

Finding a Good Relationship Partner in Jamaica

I had a rather interested conversation with a male friend a while ago and him a say him want a good woman. Man a say them want a good woman and woman a say them want a good man. It is not that good people are not out there it is just that everybody feel them deserve better. So every man and woman a scout for an upgrade. 

Everybody a play fool to somebody for we all a chase people who we think a our better and then these people a run down some other people weh them feel say a fe them better. 

Better has a lot to do with value too for a college graduate might think she should be better to a ghetto youth whose better is a light skin girl.  So she end up a chase a man who will never see her value more than skin deep cause he has an entirely different value system and criteria for his relationship. It is not that the girl values less, her attributes are simply not worth anything in this ghetto youth eyes. 

It all boils down to valuing yourself. You cannot force someone to validate you. If someone does not see your worth at face value it is futile to invest time in trying to convince them that you are their better. That is something they have to work out for themselves. 

We are as fake about our relationship as we are about life. We don't want "better"! We don't want Mr/Mrs right and we sure don't want good enough, we simply want somebody who other people want and cannot get. We want to conquer and monopolize. We want a challenge. We want someone to trophize like our house and our cars. We want to win the best person for ourselves. 

Love in the modern world is not about sincerity, it is a competition and the prize companion has every suitor eating out of the palms of his/hers hands. 

It is funny how women say them want a good man and when they say that they don't mean them want a man who can love them, take care of their essential needs and provide a convenient life. 

A good man is a man with money to spend. A good man is a man who can bring her the world. A good man is a man with surplus money to spend. This might explain why the "money man" have ten girls jumping through hoops to become his first draft pick. While on the contrary, the man who calls a girl on a regular, text and offers to buy her lunch is considered an idiot and taken for granted. Why? She would rather earns someone else love, work overtime to convince another to love her than accept the free will love in front of her. Love that comes easy is not valued much. 

The Dating Factor

What makes dating complicated is that different people have different values. While you might think an education makes you valuable, a man who is seeking a trophy wife, as in his partner has to be as gratifying as his house or his car then having an education would not factor as important to him. A man looking for a trophy wife would be more interested in appearances than personality. 

Just as how a lot of women would never date a man whom she despises regardless of how much money he has because him money is not really an important variable especially if she is getting her own. When people like you, hooking up is very easy, comes naturally but if you have to be jumping through hoops to get someone's attention then the feelings may not be mutual. 

You can over analyse sometimes but when a dating situation frustrates you, causing you sleepless nights you are definitively chasing someone who is running away from you. A relationship this stressful in its formative stage is bound to be toxic when it matures. They say good things don't come easy but some things are better off leaving alone. 

Online Dating is another factor. Someone who is not cognizant of your physical appearance will be reluctant to text or communicate since he hopes not to build up hopes on someone he might not like. Another consideration goes out to love interest who are already in a committed relationship. Cheating is a serious business and this person probably does not cheat unless they find someone worthy and maybe just maybe you are not worthy enough. 

Http://jamaicadatedoctor.com/

Ten Things Jamaican women Wish Jamaican Men Knew

Ten Things Jamaican Women wish Jamaican Men Knew 

 When i collated the article "Ten Things Jamaican Men wish Jamaican women knew about Relationships", It was meant to be a satire piece.Most people missed the sarcasm because they were so upset with the suggestions made by these Jamaican men who i will say represent the average Jamaican male. They missed the disclaimer about not all Jamaican men share these views. Let us put this one in bold. 

These are the opinions of some Jamaican women and does not reflect the ideologies of all Jamaican women. They are not facts, the article is not meant to conquer or convert but to inspire discussion so we can come at truth. In doing so we will get the facts out. 

 1. Jamaican women know that when a man says he wants an independent woman, he does not really mean he wants a woman who can complement his financial position. Some women are of the opinion that these men really want a woman to supplement their lives economically. "Them want smady fe mind them". Additionally a Jamaican man will take the "independent woman" money and "mine" some woman who cannot help him. He will take your car and go out with women who cannot buy gas put in it. Jamaican women say that they are wising up to this "con" and are only independent for their own subsistence. They have no intention of "minding" any big man. 

 2. Women like Oral sex, Women know you like it too. You just do not want your friends to know you like it or do it but the women say that is okay, they will keep the secret for you. 

3. When a Jamaican woman says she wants to go on a date. She means she would like to at least go to a social setting where you can have a few drinks and talk, get to know each other. A date is not in your bedroom demanding sex. These men nowadays do not want to date anymore, when they call and ask for you to meet with them, they would like to know straight off the bat if "you ago run some". Some will find some way to postpone the date if they do not hear what they want to.Some women flat out lie and tell them yes. Women say they would like to go on date therefore when a man is 'looking' a woman, please prepare for at least one date. 

4. In the dating phase when a woman text, call or Whatsapp you, it is because she likes you. A woman will pursue a man she likes and if he is interested then he is expected to mirror her interest to establish some form of consistency. It does not means she is desperate or she is being clingy. 'She just like you'. 

5. When a woman is willing to spend her hard earn money on you, it is not because she is a fool. It is because she loves you and wants you to be happy. If she can afford to she will buy her man anything to make his life convenient so that he can be at his best. There is no greater joy that when the one you love is happy and stress free. When a person is happy, they have more fulfilling relationships. Women in Jamaica and within the diaspora complain that if you "assist" some Jamaican men "they take you for a fool". It is ironic that men do not see themselves as "fools" when they spending thousands of dollar on some chick who sleeps with them every other month. 

6. Most women have never had an orgasm. Most men do not have a clue about fulfilling sex. A lot of women stick around because they love you or the idea of you not because of how good you are in the bedroom. Most men do not even cuddle, "Slam, Bam, Thank You Madam" The caveman tactics in bed does not always work and men insist that women find creative ways to maximize pleasure and yet they come as they are, thinking that great sex only requires an erect penis. The gist is that a woman can still feel sexually satisfied without an orgasm.  Too many men coming into the bedroom with sexual expectations and not bringing any prowess to the bed. Dance hall music convinced our men that their pleasure was more important than female satisfaction. These men will gladly say a 'vagina" was not good when in truth they just lay down on them back expecting great sex. 

7. "Old Fire stick easy fe Ketch" Hmmmmm. In some instances that might be not be entirely accurate. Some men feel that because you had sex with them one time then they can always get it from you whenever they like. Women are saying that when they throw water on the fire stick, no amount a gasoline can make it light back. Some men think that because a woman has a child with him he is still entitled to sex, women are standing their ground. If she broke up with you, she breaks all ties with you.

8. Do not see a woman on the road and harass her. If she is interested she will let you know. A grown man knows when a woman likes him from when she does not. Do not think you can convince her to like you by harassing her with "Pssssst", insulting her or manhandling her in public. She will hate you with a passion and you ruin any chances you might ever have with her.

9. Men will insist that a woman keeps up her physical appearance and yet he will gain weight, grow his hair and facial hair without any complains from his partner.  Women are saying men should try to keep in shape and maintain physique. Women do not like the beer belly but a woman loves differently from man. She will stay with him if he has eighty percent of what she needs and in (a Jamaican man case, if he has fifty percent of what she needs in a relationship), some women settle for far less. Men on the other hand want perfection well women are saying they want men with an impeccable body including a good size penis, good job, money and the whole works. 

10.We are in a relationship with you and not your friends or your family members. It is full time men learn how to tell their mothers, sisters and female cousins to respect their partners even if they do not like them. Friends who are still bachelors must learn to respect their males friends who are in a relationship. Please tell your friends do not show up at late hours of the night asking you to go clubbing when they know that you are now a family man. A man has to compromise in a relationship just as he expects a female to make sacrifices. A lot of men will insist that an in-law that they do not like does not come around his house and yet his family visit when they feel like and disrespect their women to their faces. A man will demand that his wife does not maintain friendship with women of questionable character and yet he keeps his promiscuous male friends and goes out with them on a regular basis. Women are saying cut the double standard. 

 Name some other points you think Jamaican men should know about women and relationships!

Quote :“The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.”

— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie"

 

Quit bashing Jamaican Men!

" To Find Fault is Easy, To do better is difficult"

 When i collated the article "Ten Things Jamaican Men wish Jamaican women knew about Relationships", It was meant to be a satire piece.Most people missed the sarcasm because they were so upset with the suggestions made by these Jamaican men who i will say represent the average Jamaican male. They missed the disclaimer about not all Jamaican men share these views. Let us put this one in bold. 

Link to the article Click Here http://jablogz.com/2014/08/ten-things-jamaican-men-wish-women-knew/

What I wrote was someone else's opinions, They are not facts, the article is not meant to conquer or convert but to inspire discussion so we can come at truth. In doing so we will get the facts out. 

" This is what we Jamaican men have to deal with quote. "  One commentator wrote! 

He missed the point entirely. He should have said why would a Jamaican woman write something like this and if this is not really true, it explains the expectation most women have of men.

He thinks I said bad things about Jamaican men then he should ask the average woman on the streets and he will no doubt get more colourful responses. 

" man a dog"

"Man a crasses"

" a bay worthless man deh a Jamaica"

" me done with man me jus take weh me can get and leave" 

" them man nowadays no want nobody"

 I understand he might be very upset about what these men said but he should take into consideration that these men were socialized in a different context from his, this is sadly how the average man on the street thinks. The man on the street socialized within a working class setting, influence by Dancehall culture, unexposed to esteemed values, his convictions unfiltered by lack of education thinks like this, not all men but a staggering majority. 

This may account for the numerous single parent homes with mothers at the helm and unwanted pregnancies among young women. He should not be angry at me. He should be upset with his brothers who embrace these ideologies but as always people will attack the messenger and not the message. It is so much easier to make it personal. The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off! 

But it explains a lot with regards to how even our politicians reason in parliament, they attack each other, dismiss suggestions that disagrees with their ideologies and we end up back at the same place where we started. People are more concerned about being "right" than admitting the truth.

Women are pissed that men would think like that, well some of these women should explain why they still single and why they raising their kids alone? Your man is not the rule, he is the exception to the rule. 

Sociologist and commentators have not adequately stressed how the social issues we face such as crime and poverty are connected to the family structures that we have. Our women get into relationships with these same type of men who gets them pregnant and leave them. These are the type of men a woman is force to leave with her children because he refuses to put down his philandering ways and she ends up alone with children she might not be able to support. These are the kind of men who impregnate girls and want sex without responsibility. I hope you get the picture that i am painting here. It does not mean all men are like this...But you get the point.

I am upset to. I am upset that there are women out there who tolerate this behavior and give men the impression that it is normative and when I meet them and insist on higher standards, I am crossed off as bitter, crazy or uptight. I am upset that women have lowered our standards so much that men think anything goes or anything counts. I don't entirely blame men because I see girls falling into the same trap their mothers did. Women are apart of this process of change. Women are the agents of social change. If we would insist on higher standards then we might get somewhere.  

There is an unswerving, constant philosophy among our women that our men are of no good. Some might say this notion is farfetch but not because it does not reflect your reality it does not mean it is not truth.  Not because someone has a differing opinion from yours, does it mean theirs is erroneous or inaccurate. 

The majority  of the social maladies that we are experiencing as a people stems from a breakdown in family life and families are created from relationships. Maybe! Just maybe if we fixed our relationships, we could fix Jamaica. Let the chips fall where they may. 

Link to the Article here: http://jablogz.com/2014/08/ten-things-jamaican-men-wish-women-knew/

Why Jamaican Young Women love the men who beat them?

It is like a quotidian occurrence for young men to be seen hitting their girlfriends on the street or at parties. It is as trendy as chromes Van and Bleaching skin. If one should listen to the women on the street recounting nocturnal fights with their partners among throngs of friends you would think the beatings were some novel mating dance.

In some cases it appears beating is some type of foreplay, a precursor to sex. After the fighting and “tumble down” , a passionate night of lovemaking ensues, tommorrow morning they tight as biscuit. You woulda never know a fight took place a few hours ago.


Most women cannot get these men to pay them any adequate amount of attention and therefore they provoke them into giving them a beating. After the fight, the male may rue the altercation and becomes loving and attentive until he gets bored of her.

That is just one theory i offered in my book. Here is another presented by a blogger. “ Jamaican women won’t give you the ” wuk “without a reference, lol, they want other women to want you but they don’t actually want to see you with one. The key to getting any woman to fall in love with you is cool indifference with a tups a tenderness… lol a lie..!!”. It may have some truth to it since most of these beatings are often over some infidelity she assumed he committed for which he would rather beat her to accept his version of events than fest up to.

The beating often involves some levels of threats and promise of more assaults if she decides to leave the relationship. The female is then reassured that he loves her and will calm down. Next time she might go at the mistress instead of the man who has convinced her that he loves her and is only unable to resist the sexual lure of a disloyal female who keeps waving her goodies at him.

Most women do not necessarily endorse the “murderation”. But the male uses it to cower the female into submission. He affectionately calls it a “touch up”. He will brag to his friends about how he has to give his girlfriend her weekly “touch up” so she will learn to behave herself and love him more.

It is unclear how they bond during this beating phase but the male becomes empowered by the wailing sounds of the woman while onlookers murmur among themselves, some men might intervene when the situation becomes disgraceful. Most elders declined intervention citing that if you intercieve, tommorrow morning she is back with him therefore it is futile. Let them fight out their frustrations and work on their relationships until they get tire of each other.

It is clear the young women have a distorted notion of what a healthy relationship is. This may be due to lessons they inherited from their mother who tolerated abusive relationships, unknowing giving rise to a flawed perception that it is okay to be in a relationship with a man who verbally abuses her.

Lack of denouncement among other members of society might encourage this behaviour among young men since most men within the cultural nucleus especially those of lower socio-economical class, have no hiccups against “touching up their women”.



Read more: http://healthmad.com/women/why-jamaican-young-women-love-men-who-beat-them/

Let Go: Relationships

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. You all need to have the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to . . . . . . . .

Romeo Graham 

Jamaican Women: Are you ready to date?

 If a man is not engaged, married, or in a long time serious relationship, his eggs are in other baskets, ensuring that if you misbehave, we can freely move on to the next bitch basket, without heartbreak or depression. For example, when you break up with your “exclusive, but not official” boo of six months; you cry and stress to the point of being physically sick because you were 100% invested in that man who suckered you into a half-ass relationship. That same man you’re broken up about will be a sad, but he will be fine in a week or two. It’s not because that man is cold-hearted, it’s because he didn’t invest 100% in your stock. He was 40% into you, 20% into his ex who he was still fucking, 15% into the new crush he’s been trying to pull off Instagram, and he kept the last 25% reserved in case he meets a new chick off Tinder. Relationships end every day, and men can’t afford to be left emotionally bankrupt over a girl he was only half-sure about in the first place.

Borrowed from Blackgirlsareeasy.com

So your entire childhood was shaped by a shadow background of lower conscious need to find the perfect man. It probably started when you were somersaulting over the tyres on the ground at the kindergarten school and saw some light skin curly hair kid with a snotty nose that appeared super appealing to your eyes. You didn't really understand the concept of sex but for some reason you knew you wanted to be exclusive with this person. Fast forward twenty years later, you are still attracted to curly hair men in Range Rovers with an impressive social clout but they are as unattainable as diamonds. 

Having a vagina, good skin and great hair (even if you bought it) does not guarantee that some guy will commit to you. It might sound harsh but it is the reality of the situation. Men are not what we think they are, they are not as woosy as romantic novels and cinemas portray them. 

So before you continue to throw your ass around at every man who slows his mechanical chariot beside you on the sidewalk,you need to first do a self evaluation, you need to assess whether or not you are ready for dating. Do you think that you have what it takes to get a commitment from an alpha male? 

The truth about wealthy men, popular men and dudes with swag is that they won't settle for a girl with just pussy, sounds harsh but that is the reality of the situation. 

Consider this that every year, a new set of girls leave high school with flat bellies, elastic vaginal muscles than don't need Kegel exercises and the zeal of youth that most men find alluring. Imagine you having to compete with them, youth reduces as you age and you like them at thirty have nothing to offer a man but your vagina? How will a man love you when he can get what you have to offer a dime a dozen from a litany of young women parading, near naked on the road every afternoon. 

Think about it! There is absolutely nothing distinct about you that will warrant this guy in the Range Rover's attention. It would be easier he dates a young girl without the attendant children and financial demands. You know there is a reason why men ask you how many babies you have when they meet you. They want to know how much you are worth and how much he might have to invest in a relationship with you. If he is a guy who shirks responsibility then he will in and out the door before you can say " I have two kids". 

Men judge you by how many children you have because they want to measure your past lifestyle. Two children and two different fathers spells you kinda reckless with your sexuality if they are only a year a part. Kids are not the only factor that men judge you by. Many men consider your hairstyle. 

How can you expect to attract a in a BMW if you have in a hairpiece that has three neon colours. He is gonna think: 1) you working at a circus or 2) you a dancehall chick. Nothing is wrong with a dancehall chick or a barmaid but how many barmaids do you know who get corporate executives and surgeons to marry them. It clearly doesn't work like that. If being skinny with Brazilian hair was all a woman needed to snag a rich man then we would not have the pervasive, unswerving ideology among Jamaican women that good men are hard to find. It's not that good men are not hard to find granted our young men are becoming an endangered species but that most women got it all wrong when it comes to attracting a man. 

Our mothers taught us a few tricks from Ratchetpedia but we should be smart enough to learn from our mothers mistake knowing that she only managed to get men to stick around until they impregnated her and now she's spending the rest of her life alone. So the average Jamaican girl learns from a mother who barely knows the basic of the playbook on how to get a rich guy to exclusively commit.  We spend our lives believing the slut appeal can get a man to love us so we wear see through clothes, batty rider shorts and the most revealing clothing in our quest to ensnare men. 

Back to this hairstyle business. Men are not suppose to be judge mental but they are because in order for a man to like you enough to pursue a relationship with you, you have to get him to look at you first and foremost. Nikki Z and Miss Kitty can wear a shaved head with zig zags cut into it and redhair and still get a surgeon shelling out big bucks for a dinner with them but the average girl on the street is seen as either a GoGo, prostitute or barmaid. It is unfair but that is the reality. There is a difference between what is and what aught to be....

The man in the BMW with a degree thinks differently from the scammer dude in a Honda. Scammer dude might wife a girl with red and yellow streaks in her hair because his small minded ess and lack of refine values precludes him from changing his basic appreciation of women. A guy with a masters degree would never bring a multicolored hair girl to his business conference but he might take her out to some seedy go go club or KFC, he knows his friends will look at him differently and not only that but his exes and immediate family might wonder if he has gone mad. 

He might have no problem sharing his dick with you, it does not mean you will get to know his family and his friends. Not that girls who look like ratchets don't get millionaires to marry them, but those girls are the exception to the rule and not the rule. If you live for the five percent who accomplished an ideal man looking like spike lee, then you are in for some serious free falls... I mean literally. Any girl can get any guy to fuck her at the most basic level. 

How many men will you have to go through until you find Mr. Ideal is clearly up to you. In this dating frontier you gotta know who to cut lose and whom to ditch without a second thought. Have you ever thought about how easy it is for a guy to be all over you in one day and completely out of touch the next, it is because men make up their minds faster than women do. A woman has to learn to decide which men are worth risking it with, which other men are not to see where she pee. This does not guarantee you from making bad decisions and sleeping with men who are more tight on their games and can trick you into bed. But with each candidate you learn from them and you move on without resentment, opening yourself to knew experience, never forgetting the past and holding steadfastly to a hopeful relational future. 

The Jamaican Woman's Fairy Tale Complex

Every girl has an ideal man, a checklist of physical features, personality attributes and social elements that we would like to have in a husband. Truth is life is never like those Cinderella books, good girls don't always win out like they do in Mills and Boons, nor does plain Janes marry millionaires like in the Harlequins Romance Series. Life is different from our fantasies, good girls are side chicks, most wealthy men are jerks who view commitment as an option, something they can delay until they lose their virility. 

Remember our high school perfect husband discussions and how wanted this and that in a man or our husband should look like him, have this and that. Many of us smart women assumed that an education would get us some rich surgeon until we discovered that it took more than a degree to snag a well off man. 

We wake up to the reality but some of us are still holding on to wistful romantic notions that some perfect man is going to show up on our lives and whisk us off into the sunset in his mechanical chariot. Nothing is wrong with dreaming, a girl gotta have hope. What if you end up spending your life, wishing for something that might never happen? 

Are you in a position to meet the men that you want? You can't expect to meet surgeons and corporate executives at a street dance. You would have to attend conferences and social gatherings that these kind of men converge on. Nor can you expect a man who is a CEO, running his business, to give you all his money, funding your lifestyle when he can get someone else to complement his. 

You cannot want a man with abs and muscles yet your body is completely out of shape. Don't

You think someone who takes as much pride in his appearance won't notice that of his partner. Appearance can be improved but in order to get certain men to consider you, you would first have to get him to look at you. 

Jamaica Date Doctor Volume ii

When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I wrote the Jamaica Date Doctor Series Volume One. I dated men for their impressions and not for who they really were. I had my head stuck in a harlequin husband chase. I wanted anyone who looked like my ideal fantasy. 

I dated men for what they represent, I was attracted to the idea of them and irrespective of the way they made me feel, the various red flags they exhibit, I would entertain them until the pretense had run its course. 

When a woman grows up she thinks differently, she realizes that it's more important to date someone that makes you feel loved and worthy, than to waste your time with a person just for social gratification. When we are young we are mostly interested in how we will look in the eyes of others when we choose a partner. 

We choose men the very same way we choose our clothing as teenagers. Best boyfriend for the most enhanced social experience. 

Real relationships are not as easy as they appear in books or in movies. They take work. Ninety percent of men already know if they will take you on as a lifelong partner within the first five minutes of speaking with you. 

Dating is a game and the slickest person wins. Men know we want a perfect partner and some of us wants money. So they will do anything including pretending to be the perfect man or to be rich to get into our panties. 

Men don't care if you hate him after he has fucked you and ducked you because he was never working for you to like him. He does not care about your feelings because he did not care in the first place to begin with. It is no use trying to make a man love you who decided from

The first give minutes that he was going to " take a one slap outta you" and move on. 

The writings are on the wall. Men have not mastered the art of emotional pretense, therefore if it looks like the man is not that into you, he probably isn't. Men who are up to no good always give off hints in their behavior or regards, it's up to smart girls to pick up on them and know when to out their feet to the sand and run. 

They go fooling yourself by having sex with him in hopes that he will like your good coochie and stick around. A man will take whatever you have to give and still diss you on a heartbeat. Once a woman gives up the sex, she has nothing bargain with, she is down several cards, she can't deal no hand, she has to take whatever she is dealt and hope for the best. 

Why Black Men call their Women Bitches?

Some thoughts am having now at a party seeing women dancing and gyrating about how them supp'n good but these women can't even keep a man. I realise that these women are apart of the problem because they keep bringing babies into the world that they can't support financially, teach them wrong values and then let them out on the rest of the world. 

There maybe a reason why Black men call their women "bitch". Most black women have not achieved much than the procreational and sexual role that is inherent in their organismal capabilities. 

In other terms most black women only know how to "Phuq" or "breed". And they make "catching men" a lifetime career. I often conclude that if black women would invest half the energy, money and time the put into gratification so that they can get a man to impregnate them and leave them with one more fatherless child then we might have less single parent families in our nation. 

Our black women are the agents of social change and they don't even know it. They do not comprehend that if they focused on their education and economical upliftment that they could immensely transform the economic tides of our society. 

What if our women would insist that men marry them before they copulate what if our women  sought financial independence so they would not have to rely on sexual prowess and sleeping withe men for money. What if they had mothers who would instill values in them that would preclude them from continuing the cycle of poverty? After all ratchets often beget ratchets. Most women will fall into the traps that ensnared their mothers.

Some might take this as an attack on black women but it is quite obvious that most men who lead a life of deviance and devauchery are often from a home with a single mother who has too many children she can't take care of.  She maybe a high school drop or teenage mother. She has been through a train of men who leave her with babies she can't support financially. 

It does not matter what is going on for a black girl, if she understands her cultural dynamics then she knows that  by time she has her first child that men collectively think that single mothers are spoiled goods. I mean some guy impregnated you and left you so what is wrong if I dump you too? 

Having sexual appeal is a huge factor as a female and it is encouraged. I mean being a sultry female has as much impact as having a degree. No woman has ever been viewed highly by society due to her male luring or sexual skills because in truth such dexterity is not a rarity. 

Maybe they call them "hoes" for hole. Are they just orifices for punters. Why all the women jumping up in the dance say them simthing good but them still can't hold a man. Kmt. 

"One Love: Jamaican Blogger Tag"

I was going through the Jamaican community of Bloggers and discovered this on many of the Blog Sites `

THE RULES FOR THIS TAG:

-Title your post “One Love: Jamaican Blogger Tag”
-Link back to the blogger who tagged you ( you may add a brief definition of what a tag is if you for the benefit of your readers)
-Copy and paste the rules at the beginning of your tag.
-Copy and paste the questions as well so readers know what’s going on.
-Answer the questions (No duh!)
-Tag seven other (untagged) Jamaican bloggers to continue the trend. Kinda forces you to make friends, no?

The questions are as follows:

1.Why did you give your blog its name?

Haha actually I got the name from a Guy i used to date . Kudos to Doctor Rohan Mullings for that name (such a smart ass). I wanted to write about how i was feeling at the time, I had fallen rather sickeningly in love with some random guy and writing was a form of therapy for what i was going through and when other women started emailing me about their relationship issues. I decided that I might want to do this not for me but for other women too.


2. Why did you start blogging and why do you blog now?

Because it offered me a platform to say what I wanna without having to censor my writings and also gain audiences for the books I published.Blogging is my life. I started out as an aperture for venting my feelings and it has morphed into a podium where i can pontificate my ideas and perspectives upon my audiences. I think writing has always been apart of me i mean, you do not come second place in Jamaica in CAPE literatures IN ENGLISH FOR NOTHING.

3. Do you think being Jamaican influences your blogging style?

Yes it does. I mean I have lived in Jamaica, all my life and its culture intrigues me at times and some other times, I wanna run away and not come back here at some of the antiquated beliefs that so many Jamaicans have. It is a unique kind of place with a complex set of people bonded by similar historical and social elements.

4. What do you think about the increase in Bloggers in Jamaica?

It is a good look, it means that people are thinking and writing and I am glad that so many of us who do not have a platform like a local newspaper where we can share our ideologies are afforded opportunities to express themselves. I have been reading other blogs by Jamaicans and I am impressed by what I have encountered and some of the stories that are out there.

5. What is your favourite thing about being Jamaican?

I like the creativity of our people and if most of us were afforded the opportunity to express our myriad of talents then that would be a move forward towards the progression of our society. Most Jamaicans are blunt and I think it is good that my Jamaican parents don't grow cowards as I observed in some other cultures. I mean children are taught from your young that this world is a cruel, evil place. Parents do not really sugar coat reality in Jamaica. What you see is what you get.


6. Ackee and saltfish or “ (mackerel) run down”?

Definitely a ackee and salt thing. me love it with the white rice and everything else. I love tin mackerel if a that you a ask and the mackerel with the ackee and some pumpkin rice. yeah a me that.

7.Stew peas or stew chicken?

Haha i love stew but i love stew chicken, with a little pepper and some ketchup with a little sugar in the gravy...old time style yuh know.

8. Tastee Patties, Juici Beef Patties or Mother’s?

JUici beef my thing deh especially the cheese patty. lick lick lick

9. Pantucky or KFC?

DWL. This is a hard one, love my jerk chicken and yes the occasional Kingston fowl coop. but Jerk chicken with roast breadfruit or a piece a bread is definitely more finger lickin than kfc because i hate all that fry food in one sitting but love kfc still.



10. What do you hope to be the future of blogging in Jamaica?

With the advent of the Jamaicablogawards i think that blogging has a great future in Jamaica, moreso as i said before that this coming generation is committed to social media and will be turning to the internet for information on their culture either or recreation or scholastic studies. We the blogosphere are here to fill that gap by providing content that is credulous, witty, educational and engaging for this new computer/reader generation that is coming up.

Tag:
Battymatilda
Corve Dacosta
Perceptual Post
EBFellowship is on twitter @place2belong
Javed Jaghai is on twitter @Chatimout
Jaevion Nelsons
MooreMayhem - Carla Moore
- See more at: http://dmarcuswilliams.blogspot.com/

Living with Henry the Narcissist

Living with Henry: the narcissist

When I was enamored (fixated) with a narcissistic man, I did not look at the situation from futuristic and permanent standpoint. I did not visualize what life would be like cohabitating with a man that suffers from narcissistic personality disorder. I was given a glimpse of that life when I met a friend online who appears to be suffering from narcissistic personality disorder or simply exude high levels of narcissistic traits interlaced with antisocial disorder.


This malevolent net mate was controlling, inflated and possessive. He had contrived a biography where he is a successful computer engineer with numerous clients. He was a chameleon, jack of all trades. There were days when he was a lecturer at a prestigious university. Some days he was a marine engineer and other days he was a savvy business man with numerous clients coming to his doorsteps at rude hours of the night. He had the most inflated ego I have ever had the misfortune to acquaint. His inflated self image was staggering and appalling. The narcissist misogynistic overture and sexual innuendos were distasteful.


He was a pathological liar and the most sanctimonious person I have ever dealt with. His self righteous personage was highlighted by his twisted sense of justice and morality. He would lambaste an individual for lying to him and yet he lied profusely. He was rather defensive when he thought he was being offended and yet expected others to tolerate his obnoxious behavior. He did not see anything wrong with his repugnant behavior. In fact he claimed that he does not care if people liked him because he liked him self and that’s all that mattered to him. Narcissism indeed!


I made the mistake of relating his narcissistic traits to that of a phantasm from my past and the malignant figure launched into tirade, defending my phantasm and laying the blame at my feet of course. I was amused then incensed at the narcissist inability to empathize. He perceived my anger at the experience I had with another narcissist as mere indication that I was still in love with him. The man was unable to dissect emotions further cementing his narrow sightedness and incapacity to distinct human reactionary feelings. When I vented my disgust and outrage at the behavior of narcissists, he challenged that I was being petulant because I could not manipulate the narcissist. I could not compel the narcissist to satisfy my needs and therefore I become angry and frustrated. Talk about projection! What the narcissist was saying to me was a deep mirroring of his attempt to control and manipulate me into complying with his demands and embracing his line of thought.


A narcissist lack emotional intelligence and is only responsive to two types of behavioral emotions and those are attacking and raging. The narcissist will bombard you with insults as a form of attack and then when you retaliate or threatened them in any essence they will launched into rampages aimed at cowering and reestablishing control. This narcissist did not hesitate to furnish my ideals and self concepts with his scathing perspectives and supercilious ideologies. He spoke as if he was the most trenchant individual alive. His opinions were spouted with erudite terms, mainly verbiage speeches with little or no sapient content aimed at subverting my self concept and undermining my intelligence.



If I did not know any better. I would have said my ex had sent a friend to finish the job off. The man’s conduct was similar to my ex boyfriend but ten times amplified. The thing about pathology is that it is predictable and the minute one who suffers personality syndrome arrives, he will be quickly pin point and categorize. In spite of my better judgment I decided to continue this charade with the narcissist online so as to get a real life glimpse into the pathology. I wanted to see narcissism from the outside. I wanted to look at it for the first time through the eyes of a social science researcher or a psychologist and not a lovelorn partner.


I got to witness narcissism from a detached and unemotional standpoint. I converse with the narcissist daily, observed and internalized his responses like an avid social scientist watching an interesting experimental phenomenon unfold. I realized based on our daily association that this was what I had to deal with, if I had pursued a relationship with a narcissist. This was the hell that I yearned for months ago. I felt a wave of pity and despondence for the women that lived with this malignance and have endured the constant battering that composed life with the narcissist.



The narcissist constantly devaluated and avidly conflicted my opinions to shut down my concepts and doctrines. The repressive natures of the interaction, the obscenities were geared at reducing my self concept by making my existence comparable to glucose ridden edibles and at other times, Human effluent erasers. He would idealize in one paragraph and devaluate in the very next. His excuse for being abusive and for the abuse of a narcissist from my past was simple to make me stronger. He contended that I was very weak to fall in love and that deities like himself were not amenable to such feeble expressions and feelings. He made a violation and I petitioned him to apologize. He hurled obscenities and at me and questioned why he needed to apologize to me. I broke into loud guffaws. This man was something else.


The most enthralling segments of our online interaction were the mirror effecting and projection. The man perceived simple and natural reactions to my intellectualization and psychologising of his behavior as an indication that I was mad. He kept diagnosing me. He said that I was a narcissist, another time I suffered from obsession and lately I had a split personality. This man was hilarious and had me laughing to the shock and amusement of my sister who was watching our conversations sometimes.



I mused for a while when the narcissist did the most conceivable disturbing thing. He pretended to be my ex boyfriend without any inference from me. He played the role of my ex boyfriend trying to reconnect with me for two weeks. He did not blatantly state that I am your ex boyfriend pretending to be someone else because I am afraid that you may reject me. He gradually unveiled himself. Dispersing modicums of my past relationships and patterns of the untamed rage. His conversations sounded similar to the person that he was or he was trying to imitate. I was for a single moment completely confused on where my analysis was with this character.


It was intriguing yet ominous. I considered for fleeting moments that this person could be my ex playing one of his mind game. I cogitate that I was being abused by proxy and that my ex had engineer this situation and had enlisted the aid of one of his avatars to do the heinous injury. I was becoming paranoid. I kept thinking what the avatar had to gain from this situation. Why is it tantamount that these men decompose my self concept and esteem? Am I a lunatic magnet? Do I attract mad men?


The most arcane yet fundamental aspect of my observation was that this Henry personality appeared more genuine when he was assumingly playing the role of my former narcissistic friend than when he was the PhD scholar in decision making and management science. I mused that the cast of the former friend may appear more genuine because the persona that he presented is indeed falsified or I may just be conversing with someone closer to home than I thought.



This narcissist gave me a glimpse at the constant verbal abuse and excoriation I would have been subjected to. He implied that I should be grateful that the narcissist had abandoned me and cease chasing a shadow. He did not understand (as I will explain in my issue on whom to go to for support when you are a victim of narcissism) or rather he refused to see my side of the story. He wanted to me to see an image that was tarnished by his lies and constant games.
He decided to revert back to his first personage and to shed the boyfriend character. It appeared that the game had lost its passion or he wanted to befuddle me some more. The damage had already been done. When he played that role, he had destroyed any ounce of credibility. His integrity was smear eternally in my eyes. I saw him as a compulsive, pathological liar. I regard him as an untrustworthy individual. A reckless disposition that should be kept at arm’s length.


Moreover he had made it clear to me that he was a master manipulator. The hoax confirmed that this individual did not have any regard for my feelings and that this person was capable of anything. This unalleviated spiteful attack on my emotions was rudely awakening as it was menacing. But I was thankful that he showed me this side of his personality. It has reaffirmed my relationship with him and what mettle of man he really is.


The narcissist claimed that I was weak because I felt love and emotions. He asserted that I was not strong and individuals who seek to find love in the world are weak people. He did not see affection as a virtue but rather a curse and a handicap. He regarded my repulsion of narcissism as hint that I was still hang up on my ex. He was unable to construe the difference between consumed love and intense revulsion.



The most frightening aspect of the relation with the online narcissist was the exhaustion. I felt depleted after our conversations. My sister and significant other could not understand why I sat around my computer at nights conversing with an apparent dangerous and deranged man. My sister spoke with him couple of times and conceded that he was the most depraved individual alive.


It seem the more I associated with him; pieces of my vivacity and vim were eaten away. It was evident that the conversations with this toxic individual were affecting me. I quickly conceded that this was exactly how I would feel if I was involved with a narcissist, emotionally drain and psychologically teetering on sanity. Thank god!

Are Jamaican Men Hypocrites

Are Jamaican Men Hypocrites in relationships?

I sat down on my verandah watching my baby sister play on the ground and wonder what the dating scene would be like for her in more than a decade from now. I pray that Jamaican men would change their hypocritical and double standard principles regarding relationships. Here are five instances of Jamaican male relational double standard and hypocrisy!

1. Have you ever listened to a hardcore sexual gratifying Jamaican song and noted that male deejays enjoy the idea of a woman granting oral sex but treats male conferring of the same said activity with disdain and repulsion? Jamaican men enjoy oral sex but do not want to give it back for fear that it will emasculate them. Even thought this maybe so, many men would prefer woman engaging in the ac but do not want to reciprocate the female.

2. Some Jamaican fathers enjoy having sexual relations with younger girls even the peers of their daughters but do not want to see other older men with their child. Jamaican men will have relations with a seventeen year old but do not want to see his seventeen year old in a relationship.

3. Jamaican men enjoy the idea of a woman on the street wearing revealing clothing but not the woman in his house. In some cases the man may have met the woman wearing revealing clothes on the street but now that she is his woman, she is not allowed to dress like that anymore. Additionally, when he goes out on the street, he is attracted to women in that attire.


4. Jamaican men contend that they want a woman with natural beauty and find the synthetic extensions and make up, superfluous and unattractive. Yet if a woman decides to be natural, she is less likely to attract the attention of a man on the street. I have walked down town with my natural unprocessed hair, unmade face and wearing Christian like clothing and not one male approached me. The next day I did my hair and dolled my face and went down town and it was an entirely different reaction from the men. Why Jamaican men claim that they want natural girl but a woman with natural looks especially a woman of Negro descent will not get any form of masculine attention on the road or in the dancehall.

5. Jamaican men will meet a girl in the dancehall and refused to allow her to go back to the party scene. Yet that is the very scene that he met her on. Just like the guys who pick women up from bars and marry her and then expect her to remain at home and never visit a bar again.

What Jamaican Men need in Relationship

What does a Jamaican man look for in a woman?

Have you ever been with a Jamaican man? Do you often wonder what a Jamaican man is looking for in a potential significant other? Have you ever wondered what turns a Jamaican man off on a date? I did a case study recently using men of all demographics and social status of the Jamaican populace. The research was centered on unearthing what exactly a Jamaican man wants in a woman. Here’s what I discovered!
A Jamaican man falls in love first with his eyes. His interest is piqued if the woman is soft on the eyes in other words she is attractive. He looks her from the legs upwards. A woman will be able to still attract a Jamaican man if she has a curvaceous body and a less than aesthetic face. “In other words Jamaican men no watch no face!” This is more prevalent among men of the lower socio economical status but if you are interested in engaging a guy from the salubrious upper St Andrew Communities then you definitely need to step your game up.
A plain face or curvaceous physique will not be sufficed to filch an executive or some old money hunk. If you want an elite man then you have to bring some education with it in the form of degree and over, prominent position in eminent company or have a household last name. Men from the upper side prefer if a woman brings some form of endorsement with her. Relationships are formed based on social status and the economical contribution that a partner can bring to the liaison. Women see men as development banks, financial institutions that enhance their economical standing and men regard women as great merchandise like his car or his house that he can promenade in front of his friends. Women are seen as trophy and commodities where the highest bidder can purchase. The likelihood of a woman snatching a man from uptown is thin and wide if you are born outside of that class. But do not worry education, five figure income and popularity on the social scene may get you there!
Other that appearances sex is of utmost importance to a Jamaican man. If you are boring in bed as in if you are not a gymnast then you will have a problem with keeping your man. Jamaican men love a woman who has a virgin like vagina. The tighter the passage, the sweeter the ride! No pun intended! But recently there are some men who claim that they would exchange a virgin for a freak any day so I guess the tight vagina is losing its credence. Men prefer if intercourse is interactive. He likes when you tell him what you find desirable in bed and whether or not he is pleasing you. A percentage of men hate it when you give him what he refers to as dead sex. Do not just lie beneath him and squirm, hold him, squeeze him and undulate on him like a snake. Yeah! Laugh out loud! LOL

Age is of some importance depending on the socioeconomical status. Middle class and upper class men prefer their mates to be younger than them and for some by even a decade. Men of the lower class and some lower middle class men had no problem with age as some young men copulate with older women under the premise of maturity and money. A thirty three year old man’s ideal age mate would be between the ages of eighteen and twenty five. This not always the case as not every man looks at age. For some men, age is as the neo relationship therapist would say “just a number! “

Intelligence is tantamount for men who have degrees and certain level of social importance. The ability to have a sound, coherent conversation and extrude cognition is important to people of cerebral importance. No executive wants a mate that he cannot bring to a conference meeting because she will probably want to discuss Vybz Kartel news album than the financial gleaner and Edward Seaga’s theory on the IMF, economies of scale and diminishing returns.
Men essentially need to feel important while women desire connection. At the end of the day most Jamaican men need a wholesome fulfilling relationship where all his needs are being satisfied and met by his spouse. That is the reason why your Jamaican man may cheat on you with a woman who is aesthetically sub standard, she may not be as good looking as you are but she fulfills his need and his desires.