Crystal Evans talks about Life and Death in her book

Crystal Evans a quote from the Book, ©™®The philosophy of the Crystal Evans 

©®™ copyright by Crystal Evans Jamaica

Ever stared at a starry night, wondered if life was beyond this realm that we know and understand. Have you ever stared into the face of another human being and marvel upon the genius behind our creation particularly our perception of the world and state of consciousness? Have you ever wondered while at a funeral, ponder upon your own death  and become anxious for the afterlife? Have it ever occurred to you that a time will come wherein everything that you know now will pass away and a new generation of people will inhabit this same space who have no knowledge or recollection of whom you are. You are alive only for a flicker of a moment and then you vaporize. You can from nothing and you will become nothing again. 

Life even at its tiniest molecule is impermanent, transient, unsure and fickle. We try to make it worthwhile not by adding value to it but by improving our social perception, seeking validation in our interactional circles. Life cannot be valued for in the end, rich or poor, smart or dumb, popular or hermit, we are nothing but dust, vapor, blurry memories that eventually are soon forgotten. 

There is must be a purpose for our existence or do we just float through life aimlessly. It wouldn't seem fair when fiends live longer than those who contribute to the advancement of human race. Most if not all the founding fathers of our civilization are recognized posthumously and died paupers. 

 I imagined death to mean nothing but a mere transition. There are many things I know nothing of before my birth and so shall there be things I know nothing of after I am gone. In truth I have been dead years before I was born and was never inconvenienced by it. Why should I be afraid of what was on the beginning and will be in the end? 

I don't fear death. I fear leaving my people behind, my friends, my family and my children, I am afraid of losing the life I have invested heavily in, in the same breath we are mourn over the future, relationships and experiences death denies is when our love ones are taken from us. Death it may seem inconveniences  our dreams, it's sting wakes us up to the fragility of our existence, we are forced to stop in our tracks and face our inevitable future. 

We walk on the ground and give sparse recognition to the mud that will be the eternal homes for the bodies that we praise so much. Ground might not worth much but it holds billions of history and some of humanity's greatest treasures, One day it will become our permanent home. Maybe we should begin a mud religion and give reverence to the dirt, in the end, it is the dirt, ground and Mother Earth that wins and feigns supreme throughout the centuries. 

How Jamaican Men Date Nowadays?

#Excerpt from Crystal Evans New Novel 

# Night Nurse 

©™® Crystal Evans Book Club 

" Really so that is how people date nowadays ?" Rosie asked, fuming. 

Rosie shook her head. She dressed up, did her hair and nails expecting to at least parade her expensive outfit that she bought albeit she could not really afford it but is now being told that her investment was only good enough for a fuck. 

"Men in Jamaica don't take women out anymore.,. Everybody

Just up

And fuck?" Rosie asked again. 

Akiem shrugged " you not giving me any pussy?" 

Rosie asked innocently, " why should I give you my pussy? What have you done to earn the right to fuck me?" 

Akeim replied, a tone of levity to his voice "cause amma respect it and be responsible with it as I am with you" 

He cocked a brow and flashed Rosie a charming grin. 

" swear such a smooth talker" 

" no am honest and for real. Tonight I intend on knowing you in every way imaginable" 

Rosie coughed "wow and him witty too?"

He smiled " tell me something sexy and private" 

Rosie looked him up and down like a slimy rag on an outside bathroom zinc "I don't share private things with strangers"

He laughed and it sounded like a rumble coming up from his stomach "I'll soon be laying in yours arms,kissing you all over so I don't see how I'm a stranger"

Rosie quipped " you ambitious though?", her voice dripping with sarcasm. She didn't want to get feisty with him but right now, she was too peeved to care. 

" is that such a bad thing?" He asked. He shot her a serious look " who you say you live with again?" 

Rosie shifted in the passenger seat and fixed him an icy stare " the bunna man... How is that for starters?" 

Akiem laughed " No I'm not I can't really date a girl living with a man" 

Rosie clapped her hands and squealed " So I should make myself available for a man who is in a relationship or rather committed to a woman abroad. Okay then" 

Akeim flinched, muscled the staring wheel into a dark scheme. He relaxed and eased the vehicle in front of a gate, he retrieved a remote from his pocket and the gate glided open.  " I don't know you tell me?" 

Rosie sucked her teeth " sounds like pot cussing kettle to me" 

He fumbled with a bunch of keys " you ready for me to make you cum now?" 

He opened the door, Rosie waltz into the room and the lights came on. 

" Since we are on the subject of cum? What kind a tool you packaging?" 

Akiem snickered " you will soon find out. I want to put it in your mouth. It is big enough to fit anywhere and everywhere in you." He sat on the couch and motioned for Rosie to come sit beside him.

Rosie decided to play his game because this was becoming more and more of a sticky situation " yes I can fit all of it in my mouth including your legs too..." 

He chortled " wow, you a freaky girl and that make me love you even more" 

Rosie thought up something Apple would say " 

Awooohhhh... We will see about that... My ultimate fantasy is riding a dudes face on the beach" 

Akiem pulled Rosie into a sidelong embrace and offered her a glass of wine. " it will make you mello. What is the freakiest thing you ever do?" 

Rosie lied " stick my finger in a man's ass" 

Akiem queried, eyes darken with lust " what about your ass" 

Rosie recoiled " nooo... Mi batty have one route. Nothing no go in. Everything haffi come out" 

Akiem didn't like the path this conversation was taking and this girl kept sending him mixed messages " you ever fuck till you squirt?" 

Akiem continued "So u ready to suck one cocky and see where it goes ?"

Rosie scrunched her eyebrows " no" 

Akeim threw his head back " why you act like you still inna plastic young girl" 

Rosie shuddered in a pretense " when I find a man who is deserving of a head, then I will do it" 

Akiem grinned, the wine was getting to his head already " Well, you been here talking to him from evening so answer me" 

No legalisation of Abortion in Jamaica

This has always been my opinion on this issue and it is I fear that women will use a legal abortion status as a contraceptive. So people will just get pregnant and throw babies away at whim. I mean Jamaican clinics have a free contraceptive programme why can't our women use it? Then we have the plan Bs and postinors yet we are still having unwanted pregnancies. Abortion legalisation will only increase this lack of accountability and recklessness among our young people. Sex comes with consequences. I believe our current " unwanted children situation can only be remedied by education and reform thinking among our people and not by more contraceptives and counterceptives methods.

Imagine you have sex with somebody and it doesn't work out but you get pregnant and you decide to have an abortion. Sex comes with responsibility like any other behavior in life, we should strive to make good choices and wise decisions. 

I can't understand some women because I would never have sex with somebody I don't know that well or have an assurance of a permanent relationship with, without a condom. But life is not perfect and we make mistakes so take the morning after pill. Live your life with accountability. 

What if our parents chose to get an abortion, then where would we have been, you are not ready to bring a child into this world then have protected sex or take a contraceptive, it is that easy. There is no bandaid method to put over our recklessness. 

Women are having abortions albeit it is illegal, and we have heard the term " dash way too much belly"  many a times to know that abortion won't prevent a woman from making the same mistakes over and over again. 

A lot of our men use abortion like a fail safe method, so the girl claims she is pregnant and he offers her money for an abortion because he is not ready for a child, has too many already or sincerely does not want a permanent relationship with her. He can always abort pregnancies therefore he sleeps with as many women as he feels entitled to and then they abort pregnancies. How msny young men I hear saying " a nuff belly gyal dash weh fe me eenuh". Imagine what would happen if abortion was legalized... 

 

You should not be having sex with anyone you wouldn't want to have a child with period... 

Rainy Mornings in Jamaica, Excerpt Tim Book

Another excerpt from the Book, Night Nurse... ©®™ Crystal Evans 

The overcast morning cast a silence on the rural community, birds chirped and dogs bark and you could hear the night insects humming in the background. You could heard droplets of Dew accumulated on the zinc top making its way to the ground in a solid thub. Overnight Dew glistened like sprinkling of diamonds on the leaves of the trees, tipping their ends like fake fingernails on a woman's hands. 

The plants looked lazy, almost content as they had received more than a Bellyful of water during the last week's continuous rainfall. The tea bush paraded a deep green alongside lime green coloured leaves. The mango tree dazzled with deep green leaves, light green, golden, brown and orange leaves.  The mountains stood gallantly in a dark green dominance tracing the horizon into infinity, and the grey sky with cuts of silvery clouds masked a sunrise hidden in its silver lining. Coconut tree leaves did a slow dance like fingers on a piano and the breeze was cool, calming almost as if everything in the world at that moment was incredible perfect. 

Water sat in silent puddles in the yard and the pot holes on the road were like muddy swimming pools. The grass flushed standing tall and strong due to the cessation of trampling from feet that were force to remain inside. The ground begged for sunshine since the rains beat its surface to a brownish pulp, the dirt couldn't resist and folded inwards with even a slight press of child's finger. The hard "dutty" was pummeled to a soft giant. The ground was very powerful because in the end it will stand supreme since in time it swallows up all those who live on or trample it beneath their feet and roots. 

Nature stood in his regality as the humans sleep, their virve reduced by the frequent rains that put their daily schedule on a halt. A man passed the road way on his way to work and the gentle breeze assuage Apple's nostrils with the nauseating scent of his cologne. His body odor will turn musky by midday when it is mixed with perspiration. 

Break up 101 with your Jamaican Man

Always live your life to shame those who hurt you and rejected you, they should be so glad that in the future that they had a been with you in their past so they now have a nice story to tell. They should hung their head in shame when you past them. 

Your happiness is your personal responsibility. You have no control over the actions of others but you can influence how you feel. If a man is showing you that he does not value your affection then you need to become disconnected from him. Don't ever put yourself in a situation where a man has to diss you so you can get the point when it is clear to everyone except you that he is not interested anymore.

You might say he still loves you but you can't assume what he is feeling you have to judge him by the way he is treating you. Actions speak louder than words. He might still love you but it is clear that he does not want to be with you. 

Don't be impulsive, don't text his new girlfriend, you will come out looking like the trouble maker and he will have grounds to legitimize his leaving you. Don't let the new women in his life play games with you and play into your emotions. They don't have anything to lose but you do and if you want your man back then drama and nagging won't help. 

Don't call his phone and nag him to take you back, you will only push him away further and he will justify leaving you to John public by painting you as a crazy woman. People will judge you by your actions and not your intentions, you won't be able to explain your feelings and those on the outside will be very unkind and call it as they see it. 

I will tell you what I know is right. It's not like am running you away or I am trying to force anything on you. I am tling you what I would have told my daughter or my sisters.

I don't want you to destroy yourself over chasing a man who is running away from you...

If you didn't love him then you wouldn't miss him

How you are feeling is natural nothing to be ashamed of. So it is okay to cry. Don't Bottle up the hurt inside, you can grieve over the death of your relationship. Don't let sadness consume you so that it interferes with your ability to function as a person. If it is going that far, if you think you are going over the edge then you might need professional help. 

You are not the first female to get hurt and other women have been down this road before. They will you to get over it because the first time is always the hardest for some of us it's the first couple of times before we can effectively deal with a break up. 

You can choose to let this be an experience,You laugh at years to

Come or an experience that you are ashamed

Of... The choice is yours...joke or embarrassment...how will you look back at this moment in the future.