He said My love came easy...
He didn't know me well. He did not know how hard it is for me to let a man get close to me. He didn't understand how special he is, he couldn't begin to comprehend the utter uniqueness of his personality. An eclipse of destiny that transpires every once in a while for the strong woman where she lets her guard down and allow one preferred male inside her world.
It looked easy to him but love, in its realness and sincerity is suppose to happen as naturally as a creek flowing into a larger tributary. Real love is like a drug, a headlong plunge off a cliff on the windy side of a peninsula. You don't know what happened until your face is stung from the slap of the water below you. Then you are drowning, tussling to keep afloat the turbulent waves of emotions. Funny enough, you can choose to ride the waves and wait for the calm of the sea or you may opt to let go... And drown...
It's funny how people by making simple off hand remarks reveal the depth and veracity of life. In those few words I found a new maxim. I never thought I loved easy. I mean if he asked the numerous men I've turned down, eluded, the number of men in the friend zone hoping one day to be my first draft pick, the men who I outright rejected for one reason or another then he would understand that my love don't come easy. It never did, for him maybe? But then he is another story...
He is... He just doesn't know it. I mean every woman struggles to make the right decision about the man she just met. Some men don't really get it easier than others. I believe some men are simply more persistent, committed to getting close to the strong woman than others. The ones who did not get her cookie simply showed their true colours too early or gave up too quickly.
I believe the strong women like myself try super hard to make it work for it's disheartening to know that after you have held out this long, you gave your love to the wrong person. It does happen in many cases, persistent bad boys turn strong women into hard and bitter women, forcing them back into their shells like a turtle. And so like a turtle you make a slow paced move back to the starting line.
And sometimes you are lucky enough to get a guy who is really interested and only to destroy him with your insecurities.
Woman Scorned
Copyright © 2015
Crystal Evans
Preview on Amazon March 15, 2015
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