So as the days wind down to Gussy's Funeral. I am of a contrite spirit. His death has forced me to question my own mortality and how fickle life here on earth is. You here one minute and you gone the next. I didn't exist before my birth and it will be as if I never existed after I die. It makes me question what is man's purpose for living if he has to die? Are we just living to die? Everytime I remember when at Dwayne Badwud funeral he was saying to Mario Gomez that he hated the ambience after a funeral, the boredom and expressed that it was the same way he felt after his sister "mum" died. It makes me wonder if Gussy had premonitions about his death. He also made preparations for his unborn child and was putting businesses together for the future of his family. It is disheartening, infuriating and a gaping irony that he was killed by members of the police force when they are so many who have never done anything for this community. Are wicked people winning and good people dying? It has many young men thinking it betta them be a bad boy and police kil them than to be a good guys like Gussy and Badwud and die before you time...police officers don't always get psychogic impact that they want when they kill a man, they might intend to instill fears in others but only as the facts show create more hardened criminals.
We will never be completely rid of the scourge of violence because acts of violence often begets more violence. Murder is murder regardless of whose perspective we see it from. I know one thing is true whether it happens when I die or while I am alive. This earth, the universals laws and tantric energy of our world, a supreme being or intelligence, god or whatever nomenclature we attach to the power that often restores this world through maintaining the Karmic Balance.
I have never known anyone who meted out cruelty of evil to another human being and prosper. I am confident not by religious fervour, conjectures or anecdotes but a first hand experience that what goes around will ultimately come back around.
I have seen many "wicked" people fall but my only concern is how many of us will have to suffer or die before they extinguished.
One of the greatest handicap of humanity is our quest to conquer death and end suffering. Why is suffering such a big issue when human beings themselves bring despair upon their own brethren. What we probably need to vanquish is selfishness and Egoism.
People often encourage wars and murder because its benefits their own agendas. We need to seek goals that collective benefits a community than just the desires of an elected few or armed subgroup.
I can safely say that the Officer that shot my cousin did not foresee the future or probably he did. Some people will say that my cousins association says a lot about the values that he embraces. I do not know about what is going on in my cousins head, I do not try to assume, I simply judge Jermaine Foote by his actions and is kind gesture. His commitment to shedding off the impoverished circumstances he was conceived in and rebuilding his community through providing jobs for young people. I remembered he said," you see when that pool bar finish, every Sunday we ago play pool" . He was killed the next morning.
Gussy is a dreamer and he by means unknown to me became someone that dreamers could come to and get resources to furnish their dreams, farmer raising pigs or the bar maid who wants to open her own bar. He was never a man to turn away a viable idea. He was committed to the auspicious development of his community. He was seen by many as a "rising don". A name he never endorsed but as they say in the ghetto that if them don't kill you with guns, they will surely murder you with your mouth.
When I look at the crowd at his grave cleaning up day, or the impenetrable crowd at his grave digging, understood the tentacles of his influence upon this community. I sensed why some people might become trepidation by his rising powers. After all he's from nowhere and his family is poor, uneducated and without social clout. He's not somebody important. When I hear the lies that those who swore to serve, protect and reassure concoct to justify the murder of my cousin and leave his unborn child without a father,I look to the heavens and cry to our supreme being, wondering why does he stand aside and allow Gussy to die.
Those who judge Gussy are like the Romans who crucified Jesus with the two theives. Jesus was not guilty of a crime but in this society if those with the powers believe that you are a threat to their statusquo they will find reasons to eliminate you. Jesus was killed like a criminal just as how they gun down Gussy with the theives. Jesus death, Marcus Garvey, Martin Luther king and so many others have taught me that none of us even when we are committed to righteousness, redemption of the oppressed masses or social reformation are exempt from death if those who are in power consider us a threat to their own agendas.
JahVinchi says " give to the poor them say me a don, me fe turn in". Does that mean that if I decide to host a charity for poor people I become a target for the police? Why? When I am doing what politicians should be doing for our communities? I think there are some entities who have a misconception of who the enemies really are. Or is this just a strategy to keep poor people and their aspirants for change cowered in fear.
I keep wondering who takes care of the children whose parents are murdered? Who will be responsible for Gussy unborn baby boy? This is a chilling factor in our fight against crime and violence. It's evident that the orphaned children of violence often grow up to be menaces to society due to feelings of resentment and ire towards society.
Everytime I look at Miss Madge, tears well up in my eyes when I remember seeing her with the crocus bags hustling to go sell clothes on the road side or CudJoe pushing handcart to help mama send Gussy, Killa, Foote and Vivieene to school. Or the kids whose father ran away left them since they were in elementary schools. If Gussy dad passed him on the road he probably would not recognize him. For him to die now, it simply means everything he has been through in his life, the heartache and the poverty was simply not worth it.
