Jamaican men do not want any good woman!

Remember when you were going to high school and you thought if you had your degree and good job, nice house and great financial prospect that you would be beating eligible men off you with a stick. You would have so many men, good bad and the indifferent vying for your hand in marriage. 

Ratchets would not even be much of a competition with your good education, big bank account and good looks. They could take whatever you did not want and even then your man was in an eternal swing of insecurity for someone as good as you could find someone better at any given time. 

Fast Forward ten years later and you realize that half the men you thought would be swimming the Atlantic Ocean alongside sharks and climbing Mount Everest barefeet to get this worthy woman hand will quickly pass you over for a chick who thinks parliamentarians speak a different language. 

You will quickly find out that wearing your natural hair and sporting a make up free face only attracts less desirable men and not the kind of men you suppose would be remotely interested in someone who was being real and progressive. It might seem to the educated, savvy and " keeping it real women" that men are more into the women who want to party, have sex and get high. 

While this might be the case, the main issue here is that the men who are considered ideal partners are no where near ready to settle down. That is the quandary that most women find themselves in, the guy who is your best is looking for better. As a matter of fact since he is not ready to settle down and he knows that you are looking for a serious relationship and he will stare clear of all women who want ring and babies. 

He will opt for women who can settle for his type of relationships and he is not willing to raise his standards because he is not looking to commit. It is very easy to treat women who are ratchets badly. You do not have to be nice to them for it is public Knowlege what they are about. Men do not have to call back ratchets or pay them any attention for it is an unspoken guy code that women whose reputations are compromise get the shitty end of the stick and I mean literally. 

It is not that these Jamaican do not want a good woman, they are just not ready to committ or settle. The ideal Jamaican man is like a child in a toy store. He sees too many women he wants, older women, younger women and teenagers. Why will he settle for you when he can have fifty others? Some men do not even know how to treat, regard and deal with a good woman. In that case please forgive them. 

What should the woman who want a good man do after she has worked hard to achieve and considers herself deserving of an ideal man. Should she just throw the towel in and settle for a compromised ideal or should she wait until ideal men grow up, have erectile dysfunction or some terminal illness? Some men are lifetime bachelors and they will never settle, they might even marry but they always have another girl. 

The strong independent woman might have to reevaluate her relationship needs. Maybe she needs to go over that checklist. She knows that half the wistful romantic notions she embraced are only in a bubble. Maybe it is time to pop that bubble open. 

I was once a servant to others!

I give thanks to the people who "used" me because It is within these moments of exploitation that I am exposed to the intrinsic nature of the human capacity. We are all uniquely selfish people, we simply go about our self serving pursuits differently. We are all self seeking creature s struggling to fulfill our destinies.

The subtle lessons of selfishness and how we are all committed to achieving our egocentric goals with little regards for those we step on in the process is evident in how we are dedicated to individual success than aspiring for group progress as children in the classroom.We accuse others of egoism when they choose themselves over us. We want others to sacrifice themselves to see us succeed, It is this brand of narcissism that is creating the problems we see in the world today. 

I recall finding myself attracted to start up businesses,believing that within every new entrepreneur I met who employed me because of my drive and passion to succeed: that I could maximize my own talents. I saw in them what I wanted for myself and admired them for taking that tentative step to fulfill their dreams. I didn't particularly liked the way my dreams were tied to theirs. If they failed, I would be a failure and I would have wasted time building someone else dreams, while my goals lay sideline in the creative clutter of my mind. 

The difference between these business people and those from my streets is that while my people will sit and wait on one of us to make it in hopes that the rest will benefit, these exploiters don't ride on the dreams of others, they grab this bull of a life by its horn and pull it into submission, trampling the cow hands in the process. 

I believed more in their dreams than they did in their own ideas. I worked often without much salary, often times frustrated but hopeful that things will improve as long as I was around. These exploiters taught me to have faith irrespective of the dreary circumstances in my own abilities. I was committed to seeing it through while on the other hand my employers were more interested in getting rich. 

They could no longer afford to pay me. I would have to worked to earn my salary which means unless the company was making a profit,I would not be compensated. If my  efforts proved futile, I would have earned nothing.

I learned to work even when I was not receiving any financial compensation. I was building my dreams and therefore I found no sorrow in working without pay. I applied my faith to my own abilities, confident that it will work out in the end.I am not ashamed of once being a slave to others, it taught me how to a better person and to rise above servitude with nobility. 

I am grateful for my experiences, they have shaped who I am. And even if this sliver of a life means nothing to others, I have made myself valuable to me. 

© copyright Crystal Evans